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Ex makes future plans with random guy while i was away for 5 weeks
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progressor Offline
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Ex makes future plans with random guy while i was away for 5 weeks
3 years relationship shes 27 om 29. She came to my country 3x for a few months and wanted to live and work there.( i still wanted to travel and not settle yet) Because my visa ran out in her country i decided to make a 5 weeks trip and come back to see her. We texted every day and sometimes called. At the end of my trip she became more distant and i was doing the texting. 3 days before returning to her she wanted to breakup on the phone because she saw no future but still wanted to see me at the airport. She also owed me money.

At the airport she gave the money and didnt want to sleep with me that night. She saw me crying and i missed her the last 5 weeks but she didnt i guess. Next few days we still meetup and she brings all the negative shit out. Also tells me she made plans with a guy from couchsurfing to live and study in his country but they hadnt had sex she assured me.

After hours of talking she gets better and the next day she says she wants to live in a hostel close to me in the centre cuz she has to take a plane for her work the next day. ( she had been sleeping with her slutty friend with 2 miscarriages all the time that just broke up and they partied a lot together. She also went solo backpacking and did couchsurfing during my trip)

So i invited her my place. We had sex. She was open to fuckbuddies or open relationship and i wished her safe flight to her work trip for 2 days. After she came back. All the negative shit again and she didnt want to fuck and said she wanted to disappear out of my life that day. So i told her that some girl was coming over to make her jealous (she also told me she would be happy if id find another and that person would be the happiest girl in the world blabla) and she left with the words that she would always love me and i could always contact her.

We havent had contact for 5 days nows (and not planning to contact her untill she wants me back). And i just woke up agonizing about why she dumped our 3 year relationship for a random guy she met for a few weeks thats now back in his homecountry and makes all these future plans with. Yet still fucks me after 3 days of drama and trying to fix things. ( she told me that plans with other guy werent so serious and she wasnt in love) Then goes cold again after her 2 day work trip and not fucks me when she comes back from it. And tries to make me jealous on her stories on how good her life is without me.
(This post was last modified: 01-28-2020 12:54 PM by progressor.)
01-28-2020 12:53 PM
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Rob Banks Offline
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RE: Ex makes future plans with random guy while i was away for 5 weeks
(01-28-2020 12:53 PM)progressor Wrote:  ...
So i invited her my place. We had sex. She was open to fuckbuddies or open relationship...

I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to openly discuss casual sex/hooking up on here.

That being said, it doesn't seem like she sees you as anything more that a casual hook-up at this point, given the fact that she openly tells you about other men she hooks up with and tells you she would be happy if you found another woman.

Also, she sounds like a degenerate given the fact that she travels by herself so often, sleeps in the homes of random men, and hooks up with random guys who she is "not serious about."
(This post was last modified: 01-28-2020 02:00 PM by Rob Banks.)
01-28-2020 01:54 PM
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ed pluribus unum Offline
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RE: Ex makes future plans with random guy while i was away for 5 weeks
The first word in the title of your thread is "ex". 'Nuff said.

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01-28-2020 02:40 PM
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progressor Offline
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RE: Ex makes future plans with random guy while i was away for 5 weeks
She still my gf when she did that..
01-28-2020 03:06 PM
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Augustus_Principe Offline
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RE: Ex makes future plans with random guy while i was away for 5 weeks
I'm positive this thread will be locked because it is promoting sex outside marriage, but i'll give you advice before that happens. If I were you, I would completely forget about this girl. It seems that the relationship wasnt strong to being with (as is the case with ALL modern relationships, so dont feel bad) flying to see each other, meeting each other for a few weeks at a time. It just didnt seem stable. I'm telling you to forget about her because CLEARLY, she has moved on from YOU. She is outright disrespecting you, telling you about her BedSurfing, oh, i mean "CouchSurfing" adventures, her being defiled by other men, and how she doesnt want to be with you, yet your thirst for sex makes you still want her, even while she gets pumped by other men... It's pathetic, cut it out.

You had a decent 3 years spent with a girl in a relationship that had 0 foundation and future whatsoever besides sterile sex. No plans for kids, no plans for marriage. Enjoy the fun you had, but remember that you will never find longterm success if you keep chasing these types of relationships. Better yourself and become a man. Start planning to meet a woman who will be the future mother of your children, not some girl thats only use is easy sex.

Also, stop lusting after sex. I cannot stress this enough. Even if you dont take my advice and continue chasing after casual sex, stop being needy.
(This post was last modified: 01-28-2020 04:29 PM by Augustus_Principe.)
01-28-2020 04:28 PM
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Mikestar Offline
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RE: Ex makes future plans with random guy while i was away for 5 weeks
Hey Progressor, you’re obviously way older and experienced than myself although I would say that at your age you should be thinking of a girl for life, one with great values. I don’t think those values such as travelling alone are ones to keep for the long term.

The reason girls usually act like this is if you show some sort of weakness, I’ve realised as well that in my relationship trying to make the girl jealous and play games is useless. If she does something wrong you go no contact which is like you did and good, but I think the nature of this girl is not good - I don’t think any girl being in a serious relation for 3 years would actually go by herself to stay at a random dudes house on couchsurfing if she was good material.

Also how did you get in to a situation where your gf owes you money? That’s not an amazing sign

If you continue with this you’re gonna feel pain in your heart man, better just cut it off, be a boss and meet a new girl who wouldn’t even think of escaping from you to a random dudes house, it seems like this girl either violated you or you didn’t treat the relationship super serious, which I don’t blame you for cos that’s what I used to do too
01-28-2020 07:43 PM
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PapayaTapper Away
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Post: #7
RE: Ex makes future plans with random guy while i was away for 5 weeks
(01-28-2020 03:06 PM)progressor Wrote:  She still my gf when she did that..

She still your GF but obviously you no still her boyfriend

_______________________________________
- Does She Have The "Happy Gene" ?
-Inversion Therapy
-Let's lead by example


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01-28-2020 07:49 PM
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progressor Offline
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RE: Ex makes future plans with random guy while i was away for 5 weeks
She didnt sleep in another guys house and she didnt travel alone before my 5 weeks trips. I took her for granted and didnt fullfill her wishes of wanting to settle.
She made me feel special. Loved. Cared. Important. She made me happy and smile. She was kinda like my antidepressant. And i miss that. There is a huge hole now that i need to fullfill by myself.

I understand she broke up with me and wants to move on with someone else that does want a future with her. I wanted her in my life for always. But didnt want to settle yet for the coming 5 to 10 years. She didnt have the patience for that. I know ill find better in those 5 to 10 years. But for now it feels like a big loss. But it would be selfish to keep her
01-28-2020 09:21 PM
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Rob Banks Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Ex makes future plans with random guy while i was away for 5 weeks
↑ Dude.

She literally told you about other men she had casual sex with and then claimed it "wasn't serious."

Are you kidding me?
01-28-2020 09:37 PM
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progressor Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Ex makes future plans with random guy while i was away for 5 weeks
I wish she had sex with them but she didnt she wants to make future plans with him and go to his country which is even worse
01-28-2020 10:43 PM
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PapayaTapper Away
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Post: #11
RE: Ex makes future plans with random guy while i was away for 5 weeks
If she said she'd take you back but only if you'd marry her now...would you?

_______________________________________
- Does She Have The "Happy Gene" ?
-Inversion Therapy
-Let's lead by example


"Leap, and the net will appear". John Burroughs

"The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure."
Joseph Campbell
01-28-2020 11:01 PM
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progressor Offline
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Post: #12
RE: Ex makes future plans with random guy while i was away for 5 weeks
She didnt talk about marry just moving to my country. Id help her out with that for sure but now it's too late. I waited to long and didnt see the signals thats she wanted this so much. But i also still want to travel south america and have ons on the side.
01-29-2020 01:39 AM
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Paracelsus Offline
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Post: #13
RE: Ex makes future plans with random guy while i was away for 5 weeks
(01-29-2020 01:39 AM)progressor Wrote:  But i also still want to travel south america and have ons on the side.

Then you're in the wrong forum. Period.

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01-29-2020 02:45 AM
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joost Offline
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RE: Ex makes future plans with random guy while i was away for 5 weeks
She's gone dude. That girl is not attracted to you and doesn't respect you (anymore?).

You better start looking for a new one or you're gonna suffer.

And by the way, you said you cried in front of her? Do not be a weak man.
01-29-2020 10:34 AM
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BlastbeatCasanova Offline
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RE: Ex makes future plans with random guy while i was away for 5 weeks
Cut her off, distract yourself with gym, hobbies, hustles, and friends and in a year or so you’ll wonder why you ever even felt this way.
01-29-2020 02:28 PM
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Handsome Creepy Eel Online
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Post: #16
RE: Ex makes future plans with random guy while i was away for 5 weeks
Like Leonard said sometime before, this is one of those "if I see a rapist raping a murderer and see the rapist has dropped his wallet, should I return the money or not" clown-world situations that is bad for everyone and everything.

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01-29-2020 06:29 PM
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