1 Year Drinking Wagon Challenge for 2014

I drank 8 + beers a day for a period of around 3 years. Withdrawal from this was brutal for the first 24 hours - insomnia, shaking, and feeling of dispair. I felt like a zombie for a few days after this as dealing with the world without drink in my system required a readjustment. It will subside.

That was my experience.
 

Horus

Ostrich
Gold Member
Golden_State_of_Mind said:
I'm 4 days sober. 35 yrs old and have been drinking almost daily since being 21. I've got the shakes in my hands a bit but it's not super obvious. How long should I expect to have this before it subsides?
Go to a doctor immediately. If you are experiencing any symptoms of delerium tremens, you must seek medical help.
 
I feel good in general, no headaches, sweating, nausea or anything like that. Just slightly shakey. I went a week without a drink a few months ago after a surgery and i was fine.

Reading the Carr book (3/4) so far and trying to kick the bottle once and for all. I'll give an official starting date soon. As of now I have no cravings. I just need to stay busy and not let myself get bored and let the process play out.
 
Golden_State_of_Mind said:
I feel good in general, no headaches, sweating, nausea or anything like that. Just slightly shakey. I went a week without a drink a few months ago after a surgery and i was fine.

Reading the Carr book (3/4) so far and trying to kick the bottle once and for all. I'll give an official starting date soon. As of now I have no cravings. I just need to stay busy and not let myself get bored and let the process play out.
I hope you do well with it. Good luck.

I assumed that you weren't having the DT's since you were posting lucidly on this forum.

Horus gave sound and prudent advice about seeking medical attention. For anyone who has been drinking heavily for an extended period and has a physical dependency on alcohol, it's best to have a medical attention at the ready if you are going to cease drinking abruptly.
 
GSM : I've read Carr's Book too and found it very insightful. I still think that this thread is better though. If you have not already done it, read it through at least once. It helps a lot.
 

Eddie Winslow

Kingfisher
Gold Member
pirate said:
The best thing that could've possibly happened for my wagon has happened.

I met a girl, invited her to go to a bar with me, informed her upfront that I will just be drinking water. We had several mutual interests so the conversation was enjoyable to me and I talked to her calmly and confidently for an hour or so.

A three night lovemaking marathon ensued. She lavishly praised my enduring cockmanship and self-control.

This is the end of a long dry spell for me. Being possibly the best sex I have ever had and dispelling my illusions about alcohol being a neccessary ingredient in a pickup; I am happy to double down on my participation of the wagon.
This is great to hear. Just out of curiosity, were you able to have sex with her on the first night? Sex on the first night, or at least the willingness to push for sex on the first night, is often an important factor in keeping some girls on the line. Doing this 100% sober is pretty damn bold in my opinion. It requires a lot of confidence and a strong sense of purpose.

I know there are people out there who do this. A number of pick up coaches do everything 100% sober. I have no doubt there are great benefits to developing this kind of extreme, core confidence.

On Friday, I basically had public sex in a wild club with a girl that I had met 20 or so minutes earlier. I was pretty drunk. It was exciting and fun, and I am grateful for the experience and memory.

I'm sure I could go out to the same place and do this again sober - probably even easier than the first time if I really commit myself to making it happen. The underlying fear I have is that I may no longer WANT to do shit like this, or even casually date girls, if I stop letting alcohol fuel these kind of decisions. I may end up realizing I want a more stable, conservative, "boring" lifestyle and/or LTR, which will completely go against the identity I've lived for the past 10-12 years. I may have to figure out what things, people, and activities are TRULY important to me.

After reading it, the last couple sentences seem very silly and weak minded - but the fear is very, very real.

Can anyone successfully completed the wagon comment on this? I feel like I'm very close to a breakthrough and would really appreciate the feedback.
 
@Eddie Winslow

I had sex with a girl in a restaurant bathroom within the past few years. We were both stone cold sober. I’m in my 40s.

Sex is a biological drive and exists outside the realm of chemical intoxication.

Get yourself to do it sober and you will see that it is completely possible. Experiencing a success will prove it so. It will be a personal victory to see that a sexual encounter occurred 100% because of you - without any chemical interference.

There are a few threads about sober gaming on the forum.
 
Eddie Winslow said:
pirate said:
The best thing that could've possibly happened for my wagon has happened.

I met a girl, invited her to go to a bar with me, informed her upfront that I will just be drinking water. We had several mutual interests so the conversation was enjoyable to me and I talked to her calmly and confidently for an hour or so.

A three night lovemaking marathon ensued. She lavishly praised my enduring cockmanship and self-control.

This is the end of a long dry spell for me. Being possibly the best sex I have ever had and dispelling my illusions about alcohol being a neccessary ingredient in a pickup; I am happy to double down on my participation of the wagon.
This is great to hear. Just out of curiosity, were you able to have sex with her on the first night? Sex on the first night, or at least the willingness to push for sex on the first night, is often an important factor in keeping some girls on the line. Doing this 100% sober is pretty damn bold in my opinion. It requires a lot of confidence and a strong sense of purpose.

I know there are people out there who do this. A number of pick up coaches do everything 100% sober. I have no doubt there are great benefits to developing this kind of extreme, core confidence.

On Friday, I basically had public sex in a wild club with a girl that I had met 20 or so minutes earlier. I was pretty drunk. It was exciting and fun, and I am grateful for the experience and memory.

I'm sure I could go out to the same place and do this again sober - probably even easier than the first time if I really commit myself to making it happen. The underlying fear I have is that I may no longer WANT to do shit like this, or even casually date girls, if I stop letting alcohol fuel these kind of decisions. I may end up realizing I want a more stable, conservative, "boring" lifestyle and/or LTR, which will completely go against the identity I've lived for the past 10-12 years. I may have to figure out what things, people, and activities are TRULY important to me.

After reading it, the last couple sentences seem very silly and weak minded - but the fear is very, very real.

Can anyone successfully completed the wagon comment on this? I feel like I'm very close to a breakthrough and would really appreciate the feedback.
I think once you get on the wagon you start to see the world for what it is and whilst dirty quick sex in a bathroom stall in excellent in many ways, it’s probab not doing much for the deeper meaning in life you are now seeking.
 

3extra

Woodpecker
Ski pro said:
The regret is the one that came up for me too. I spent so much productive time drunk or hangovered. I’m furious about that and I’m on a mission to make up for lost time.

Game is not dependent on alcohol. However most social interactions happen where alcohol is. Those places are tiresome for me now.

It’s a difficult one, I haven’t come up with a solution for it.
I hear you man.

Before the wagon I was pretty prolific with women, and it was something of a shock to the system when that steady stream (and I) dried up.

I guess it's finding, and even harder - tolerating - environments that are female heavy.

If I am on a bit of a dry spell, feeling that eros, I do sometimes reminisce about the boozy days, and the tail that came with them. But it's just a feeling, it need not consume us. We can rest assured that we have placed our trust in something more reliable, and ultimately more rewarding.
 
Wine, women, and song need not be a package deal. You can go a la carte, preferably declining the first.

Sure, being on the wagon, you won’t experience those intoxicated, impulsive hedonistic hookups. That is perhaps a good thing. We have probably all woke up with a sense of shame and regret, having done something with a woman that we would not otherwise select if we were of clear mind.

I was the most introverted kid in school and college. I needed beer in me just to talk with a girl. After giving up drinking, I meet women, albeit in a more deliberate way, and if the chemistry is right, nature will take its course. My point is, if I can do it, anyone can.
 
I'm about 6 weeks into a wagon and I've had a really tough time since starting this shit. If I'm being honest, I'm pretty fucking over it. I picked up an extra job during my initial pink cloud phase because I was feeling motivated to make extra money, and between my two gigs I've got no spare time and currently no scheduled days off. I'm under more stress than before but have given up my coping mechanism. If life didn't suck so badly, I might have a shot at keeping to a wagon. I'm really fucking anxious all the time. I am grinding my teeth constantly. It's kind of become clear to me now that I've been self medicating with alcohol / other stuff throughout life for a reason. This is some personal shit I'm throwing out there and I am fully aware of that and how it makes me look here. But whatever, if I cannot be honest what's the point?
 

The Lizard of Oz

Crow
Gold Member
BigTedSven said:
I fell off the wagon, but will be attempting another year
BigTedSven, no need to think of it as "attempting" another year. We attempt things that may or may not be within our power, like seducing a girl or lifting a weight. But it's always within your power to not have a drink -- no one is going to force one down your throat. All you need to do is make a decision and then remember to simply stick to it no matter how you feel about it in the moment.

If you are in for a year, please post your new start date here and I will be happy to welcome you aboard.
 

The Lizard of Oz

Crow
Gold Member
Lampwick said:
I'm in as of February 3rd, 2019. To prevent substitutions, I'm going very close to full Mormon: no porn, no cigarettes or vaping, no cannabis or any other drugs. I'll have the occasional cup of coffee though.

I've been cultivating a much better mindset since I started a regular sleep schedule with bright light therapy.
Great to hear that, Lampwick -- if you are patient and consistent you will see lasting benefits from this regimen, both mental and physical. But as always, these things can take time so bear that in mind.

Welcome aboard as of February 3, 2019 and I look forward to hearing more from you here as time goes on.
 

The Lizard of Oz

Crow
Gold Member
Rhyme or Reason said:
I'm about 6 weeks into a wagon and I've had a really tough time since starting this shit. If I'm being honest, I'm pretty fucking over it. I picked up an extra job during my initial pink cloud phase because I was feeling motivated to make extra money, and between my two gigs I've got no spare time and currently no scheduled days off. I'm under more stress than before but have given up my coping mechanism. If life didn't suck so badly, I might have a shot at keeping to a wagon. I'm really fucking anxious all the time. I am grinding my teeth constantly. It's kind of become clear to me now that I've been self medicating with alcohol / other stuff throughout life for a reason. This is some personal shit I'm throwing out there and I am fully aware of that and how it makes me look here. But whatever, if I cannot be honest what's the point?
Rhyme or Reason,

This is exactly the time when you recommit to the wagon and just stick it through. You will have to go through a time like this sooner or later -- might as well do it now.

Having a drink will give you the momentary release that your anxious/depressive brain craves, but -- as you well know -- it will only put your brain back into an old, well-worn, and destructive groove. Those neural pathways take time to degrade and a lot of that time is not pleasant. There is no way around it, the only way is through it.

You should distrust the enthusiasms of what you correctly identified as the initial pink cloud phase. Those frantic enthusiasms are just another expression of anxiety, and what you really need to do, over time, is to let go of that anxiety and relax. As long as you have enough to house, feed, and clothe yourself, don't worry for the time being about getting a second job or making extra money. Treat the time ahead as one of convalescence -- your body and mind need a long period of rest and recovery from all the damage they have sustained over time. You can help them by avoiding all substances, both depressants and stimulants; using bright light therapy to regularize your sleep; eating a simple, wholesome diet with plenty of water; getting regular moderate exercise; and letting your mind repose in a blankness from which there is no need for it to emerge for a good long while.

Forget about everything else. For now -- the weeks and months ahead -- the course of convalescence should be the only one you follow. If you do this, you will make it to a life that is richer and fuller than any you've ever had, but this process cannot be rushed, not even by a day. Your every instinct will be one of impatience, but patience is the only cure you will need if you can take it.
 

komatiite

Pelican
Gold Member
Rhyme or Reason said:
I'm about 6 weeks into a wagon and I've had a really tough time since starting this shit. If I'm being honest, I'm pretty fucking over it. I picked up an extra job during my initial pink cloud phase because I was feeling motivated to make extra money, and between my two gigs I've got no spare time and currently no scheduled days off. I'm under more stress than before but have given up my coping mechanism. If life didn't suck so badly, I might have a shot at keeping to a wagon. I'm really fucking anxious all the time. I am grinding my teeth constantly. It's kind of become clear to me now that I've been self medicating with alcohol / other stuff throughout life for a reason. This is some personal shit I'm throwing out there and I am fully aware of that and how it makes me look here. But whatever, if I cannot be honest what's the point?
Hey Man hopefully you feel better today. There’s a certain mental hurdle that everyone who hops on the wagon has gone over — in a way, a guy sort of loses his innocence when he mentally knows he has to quit drinking and makes a Wagon commitment... I knew that by about age 24 and tried several Wagon rides with many failures in between before I finally figured it out. Each time I would fall off the wagon I was so riddled with guilt and shame, and the drinking would always come back with a vengeance until my life would be back all tucked up several months later and I’d try the wagon again.

Lizard is right — jus be patient. I always had the same feelings you describe above at times on the wagon but I promise you that the feeling will pass. It may not be tomorrow and it may not be next week but these feelings will always pass, I can promise you that! Good luck man.
 
komatiite said:
Rhyme or Reason said:
I'm about 6 weeks into a wagon and I've had a really tough time since starting this shit. If I'm being honest, I'm pretty fucking over it. I picked up an extra job during my initial pink cloud phase because I was feeling motivated to make extra money, and between my two gigs I've got no spare time and currently no scheduled days off. I'm under more stress than before but have given up my coping mechanism. If life didn't suck so badly, I might have a shot at keeping to a wagon. I'm really fucking anxious all the time. I am grinding my teeth constantly. It's kind of become clear to me now that I've been self medicating with alcohol / other stuff throughout life for a reason. This is some personal shit I'm throwing out there and I am fully aware of that and how it makes me look here. But whatever, if I cannot be honest what's the point?
Hey Man hopefully you feel better today. There’s a certain mental hurdle that everyone who hops on the wagon has gone over — in a way, a guy sort of loses his innocence when he mentally knows he has to quit drinking and makes a Wagon commitment... I knew that by about age 24 and tried several Wagon rides with many failures in between before I finally figured it out. Each time I would fall off the wagon I was so riddled with guilt and shame, and the drinking would always come back with a vengeance until my life would be back all tucked up several months later and I’d try the wagon again.

Lizard is right — jus be patient. I always had the same feelings you describe above at times on the wagon but I promise you that the feeling will pass. It may not be tomorrow and it may not be next week but these feelings will always pass, I can promise you that! Good luck man.
What komatiite says is spot-on and is similar to my own experience. I had this same feeling in my early 20's after several false starts and episodes of binge drinking followed by periods of abstinence.

I can only roughly describe it as a "crisis of faith." You know you that your well-worn drinking habits are not working for you yet you cannot clearly see life without drinking.

I think it is important to occupy yourself and give yourself a chance to experience contentment in some of the more mundane aspects in life. Not all satisfaction derives from intoxication, flashing lights and excitement. Enjoy a bike ride with the wind in your face; do some work around the house listening to music you like; do something. At some point you will say to yourself, "hey, I actually felt happy working on the car in the garage today." The idea is to accumulate experiences like this which will reaffirm the value of the wagon.

It will take some time but it will come. Stay the course.
 

Kentemo

Robin
Gold Member
What do you guys drink when going out. I honestly like the party scene even when not drinking.
I ordered Coke, but this is even more unhealthier than beer imo.

Yesterday I asked 'wáter with some lemon' but the guy looked at me strangely and said ''we don't have that''.
Probably never gotten that request before. I ended up drinking a redbull (also not healthy).

What's a good drink to order in bars (a part from alcohol free cocktails)???
 

Horus

Ostrich
Gold Member
It's amazing how easy the wagon becomes after the passage of time. It's true that the beginning can be extremely difficult, and it seems like an impossible, insurmountable undertaking. But once you get through the earlier stages and you begin to experience the benefits of the wagon, it becomes pleasurable and satisfying to sit back and patiently wait for the further benefits you instinctively know will follow. Everything in your life begins to fall into place, and it feels like your life has switched to easy mode compared to your pre wagon days. You wake up every morning with a feeling of exhilaration and gratitude, and you look back at your former life with disbelief that you would spend so much of your time and money on something so destructive and depraved. It feels like nothing can get in your way and you can easily overcome anything that life throws in your path.

Unfortunately life isn't so simple. Eventually you'll experience something devastating that you find yourself unequipped to deal with. That's when everything in the previous paragraph gets thrown out the window and means nothing at all. You're now in unchartered territory. As you find yourself overwhelmed by your inability to deal with the situation, you begin to look at your drinking days with nostalgia. You remember with fondness the beautiful hue of the bottle of Jamesons and the satisfying sound of the ice falling into the tumbler as the bartender prepares the usual. You know that succumbing to temptation is a terrible choice and will not end well. But goddamn it would be so easy to walk into a bar and affix a temporary band aid, to experience a few moments of relief.

You know from your earlier experience of the wagon exactly what needs to be done when things get tricky. You know that you shouldn't try to surpress anything you are feeling, but rather acknowledge it and allow time to process your emotions in the stark reality of sobriety. You remember how much stronger you became from navigating much less devastating situations without alcohol, and that if you come out of the other side of this one without raising a glass to your lips, you will be immeasurably stronger.

In such a short space of time, you go from elation towards life to an overwhelming sense of emptiness. But this is the moment to remember that making the conscious and cowardly decision to seek relief in alcohol will only proliferate any current problems you are facing, while making the more courageous decision to face your problems with a clear mind is one you will thank yourself for.
 

Gmac

Peacock
Gold Member
Kentemo said:
What do you guys drink when going out. I honestly like the party scene even when not drinking.
I ordered Coke, but this is even more unhealthier than beer imo.

Yesterday I asked 'wáter with some lemon' but the guy looked at me strangely and said ''we don't have that''.
Probably never gotten that request before. I ended up drinking a redbull (also not healthy).

What's a good drink to order in bars (a part from alcohol free cocktails)???
Club soda, coffee/tea, ice tea (w/o sugar)
 

Gmac

Peacock
Gold Member
Rhyme or Reason said:
I'm about 6 weeks into a wagon and I've had a really tough time since starting this shit. If I'm being honest, I'm pretty fucking over it. I picked up an extra job during my initial pink cloud phase because I was feeling motivated to make extra money, and between my two gigs I've got no spare time and currently no scheduled days off. I'm under more stress than before but have given up my coping mechanism. If life didn't suck so badly, I might have a shot at keeping to a wagon. I'm really fucking anxious all the time. I am grinding my teeth constantly. It's kind of become clear to me now that I've been self medicating with alcohol / other stuff throughout life for a reason. This is some personal shit I'm throwing out there and I am fully aware of that and how it makes me look here. But whatever, if I cannot be honest what's the point?
Keep on it
 
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