Let me ask you something. When's the last time you had a baked potato? How about tomato soup? I bet you cannot remember. If you know when you had your last drink, then you have a problem with it. Stick with the sober life. It takes time to develop hobbies, passions, and interests that will make you more interesting.
1 Year Drinking Wagon Challenge for 2014
- Thread starter The Lizard of Oz
- Start date
I've been listening to this podcast called I'm Quitting Alcohol by David Boyle. He has made a 5 min podcast everyday for the past 2 years from the day he stopped drinking to the current day. It's amazing to listen to how he has changed (for the better). It's the best argument for quitting drinking that I have ever heard.
Seeker79
Kingfisher
Thanks for sharing. I will check this out.
Don't know if you decided to go ahead and drink or not, but if you did, likely you've found out your answer by now.
If you really could indeed just "handle it" and managed to only drink 2 or 3 beers with friends and then stop and not crave anymore, not continue drinking, not drink the next day since, hey, you already started so what'll it hurt? etc etc....then maybe you don't have a problem.
If you had a drink and that turned into another and that turned into 10 and the next thing you know, you're waking up with a splitting headache and you don't know where you are or what time it is? Well....you know the answer to that.
I must have gone through that cycle about a dozen times. Quit for 3 months. Start again. Quit 6 months. Start again. Quit for an entire year, just to prove I could do it, right back to where I was in a matter of days. It finally sunk in that I simply can't drink in moderation. It's just not within me. Once I feel the rush, I wanna slam the throttle and take it into orbit. Every single time I drink.
We're all different though. Some guys have a single glass of scotch on a Friday evening and that's it. Nothing wrong with that.
Whatever you decided to do, I'm curious how it's going. Don't be afraid to share; I doubt anyone here will ever judge you.
On my personal experience total abstinence from alcohol is much easier than drinking in moderation. (Remember "moderation" is always a relative term.)
Once you are free from alcohol, believe me, it is amazing.
Friends and family picking becasue you don't drink? Just ignore them. Remeber, people who really love/respect you, would not only admire your strenght of not drinking alcohol but would also encourage and support you.
On my personal experience total abstinence from alcohol is much easier than drinking in moderation. (Remember "moderation" is always a relative term.)
Once you are free from alcohol, believe me, it is amazing.
Friends and family picking becasue you don't drink? Just ignore them. Remeber, people who really love/respect you, would not only admire your strenght of not drinking alcohol but would also encourage and support you.
I totally get the full throttle feeling. It was the same for me every time. Moderation has never been a friend of mine. I still haven't drank, and I'm sure I will again one day. I'm in a good place right now, so I'll stretch this run out a little further.
SonOfCanterbury
Chicken
Coming from growing up in a house where my father was an occasional weekend alcoholic, it's never been an issue for me to moderate my drinking. Although my 'drinking' consists of a whiskey every few months. Entire years have gone by where I totally forgot about alchohol.
He's (father) quit the hooch now but I found (and still find) it fascinating how intelligent, grown, reasonable, educated and seemingly well adjusted adults turn into slobbering children that cannot control themselves when it comes to this stuff. Just fascinating.
I fully admit that I don't understand the mental processes of addiction. So I'm not casting judgement. In my world it's... here's a drink, then another, then maybe one more, nice little buzz, nice and relaxed, but all done now. No need to go any further. Someone like my father has to finish the bottle, then open another one, finish that too, then pass out on the couch or floor in a pool of vomit.
Now, logically I can understand that it might be the wrong time for some intense self reflection after 5 drinks. But surely waking up the next day, in said pool of vomit, with your children looking at you in disgust, your wife thinking you're a weak man that cannot control himself, your own disgust at your weakness ... wouldn't that be a good time to look at yourself and come to the conclusion that it's perhaps not a wise idea to do so again? What is it about the experience that the event described above isn't quite enough learning and the process needs to be repeated often. And then, at what point, after doing the same dumb thing over and over again, do you realize that this isn't quite working and it's now time to do something about it. What about the harm caused for years?
But I'm happy to report that my father is now addicted to God and yoga, and addicted to preaching complete abstinence. Although, I humorously think in my head that it's still addictions nonetheless, and he still find it impossible to moderate those too, but I suppose it's not too bad as far as these things go.
He's (father) quit the hooch now but I found (and still find) it fascinating how intelligent, grown, reasonable, educated and seemingly well adjusted adults turn into slobbering children that cannot control themselves when it comes to this stuff. Just fascinating.
I fully admit that I don't understand the mental processes of addiction. So I'm not casting judgement. In my world it's... here's a drink, then another, then maybe one more, nice little buzz, nice and relaxed, but all done now. No need to go any further. Someone like my father has to finish the bottle, then open another one, finish that too, then pass out on the couch or floor in a pool of vomit.
Now, logically I can understand that it might be the wrong time for some intense self reflection after 5 drinks. But surely waking up the next day, in said pool of vomit, with your children looking at you in disgust, your wife thinking you're a weak man that cannot control himself, your own disgust at your weakness ... wouldn't that be a good time to look at yourself and come to the conclusion that it's perhaps not a wise idea to do so again? What is it about the experience that the event described above isn't quite enough learning and the process needs to be repeated often. And then, at what point, after doing the same dumb thing over and over again, do you realize that this isn't quite working and it's now time to do something about it. What about the harm caused for years?
But I'm happy to report that my father is now addicted to God and yoga, and addicted to preaching complete abstinence. Although, I humorously think in my head that it's still addictions nonetheless, and he still find it impossible to moderate those too, but I suppose it's not too bad as far as these things go.
Seeker79
Kingfisher
It's easy to blame the character of people suffering from addiction. However, we need empathy (not sympathy) to understand the problem. Addiction can be physical as well as emotional or psychological. The human body is not perfect. It is a complex spiritual and biochemical system of systems. Alcohol and drugs exploit pathways that the body is not simply equipped to handle. Some people are genetically and culturally predisposed to fall prey. In today's clown world of declining communities, Godless cultural decline, and glorification of hedonism it is very easy for well meaning people to fall into addiction.
Finally I would encourage folks to read the OP by LoZ and encourage actively participating in the wagon and avoid making posts just to say that you successfully moderate. That is not the intent of this thread. The thread subject is clear: this is about people committing to the one year wagon.
Finally I would encourage folks to read the OP by LoZ and encourage actively participating in the wagon and avoid making posts just to say that you successfully moderate. That is not the intent of this thread. The thread subject is clear: this is about people committing to the one year wagon.
Sounds familiar.
Well, without getting too heavy into the psychology behind it, the answer is simple: it feels good, man.
Obviously there's more to it. We're broken, messed up people, psychologically damaged, childhood trauma, and all that. That stuff hurts. It's painful. Booze takes all that pain and makes it go away and leaves you feeling happy and warm. Til you wake up feeling even more like death than you did before. So what's the answer? More booze.
Hey guys, just wanted to check in! August 5th was my 6th anniversary of when I had my last drink. Can’t believe I’ve gone so long without drinking! I look back into the days of my early to mid 20s and just shake my head knowing that I wasted so much time and money… but on the other hand, there sure were a lot of fun memories with my friends, at least in the high school and college days before it really started to screw my life up. I’m glad I recognized that I’m one of those people who just has a genetic predisposition to absolutely LOVING the drink and needed to stop, and, although it took me a few tries, ive now managed to stay sober for over a half decade.
I hope that all of the OGs of this thread continue to maintain their sobriety on their own terms and are living exceptional lives, and to anyone new who has stumbled upon this thread, knowing that drinking is a significant hurdle in your life, give it a long read! There is a lot of great gold in this thread, and if you feel like drinking is starting to really mess up your life, never fear, you’re not alone. Whether you find wisdom in this thread, go to AA meetings or other spiritual avenues, or simply just white knuckle it until you settle into a positive routine, there is always a way forward, and you’ll find that life WILL improve if you put down the bottle — especially if you identify at all with the next paragraph:
I was never able to peacefully STOP drinking after having my first or second drink. I’d go to the pub for a couple beers with friends — when we went to pay, they left in peace and went on with their lives. I continued to the liquor store, bought a bottle and would drink myself to sleep when I got home, because I would be so uncomfortable in my own skin once my brain got that first taste. I still am shocked at how rapidly things were progressing for me — in my early 20s it was all fun and games but by the time I hit 24-25 I was drinking in the mornings on an empty stomach after big nights, just to try to alleviate the guilt and shame I felt from once again losing control the prior evening. The cycle continued… and worsened… until one day I knew it had to end. And here I am, six years later, and man am I ever glad I’ve left that chaos behind!! s they say in AA, “one day at a time…”
I’ll be signed on for year 7. Thanks Lizard of Oz for starting this thread, I still sometimes read it and I’m sure this thread has helped more guys out, more than we will ever know…..
I hope that all of the OGs of this thread continue to maintain their sobriety on their own terms and are living exceptional lives, and to anyone new who has stumbled upon this thread, knowing that drinking is a significant hurdle in your life, give it a long read! There is a lot of great gold in this thread, and if you feel like drinking is starting to really mess up your life, never fear, you’re not alone. Whether you find wisdom in this thread, go to AA meetings or other spiritual avenues, or simply just white knuckle it until you settle into a positive routine, there is always a way forward, and you’ll find that life WILL improve if you put down the bottle — especially if you identify at all with the next paragraph:
I was never able to peacefully STOP drinking after having my first or second drink. I’d go to the pub for a couple beers with friends — when we went to pay, they left in peace and went on with their lives. I continued to the liquor store, bought a bottle and would drink myself to sleep when I got home, because I would be so uncomfortable in my own skin once my brain got that first taste. I still am shocked at how rapidly things were progressing for me — in my early 20s it was all fun and games but by the time I hit 24-25 I was drinking in the mornings on an empty stomach after big nights, just to try to alleviate the guilt and shame I felt from once again losing control the prior evening. The cycle continued… and worsened… until one day I knew it had to end. And here I am, six years later, and man am I ever glad I’ve left that chaos behind!! s they say in AA, “one day at a time…”
I’ll be signed on for year 7. Thanks Lizard of Oz for starting this thread, I still sometimes read it and I’m sure this thread has helped more guys out, more than we will ever know…..
Seeker79
Kingfisher
Thanks for sharing the good news. What an inspirational perspective you provide. It seems like the positive dividends continue to accumulate for you, not only in physical and mental well being but also continued self-reflection.
I'm a few weeks late, but on 9/23 I finished my 6th year of sobriety. This most recent wagon was by far the most challenging for me, as my wife and I hit a major rough patch in our relationship. I'll spare you the details, but basically we needed to reconcile some of the ideological differences and blindspots that come from our very different backgrounds. My wife was also struggling to come to terms with some things in her past, her current reality as a spouse and mother, and what that meant to her sense of independence. She began putting herself in dangerous situations, and her behavior caused a major strain on us as a family. Subsequently, she's on her own wagon journey now and things have been so much better for us over the past fews months. Shit was looking really bleak for awhile there, and I'm proud of her for leaning into sobriety and taking this thing seriously.
Anyway, I did a lot of reflecting on the previous year at the end of the summer (as I always do). In the past, my wife (and our relationship) was a place I could turn to for support and stability when my wagon felt unsteady. That wasn't the case this year, as my wife was dealing with her own demons and our relationship became a major source of anxiety and frustration. My baby boy is (of course) a huge motivator for me to stay sober, but he's still pushing Fruit Loops around on the floor, so I couldn't really go to him for support either. Instead, I ended up leaning on friends, my parents, and my regular men's AA meeting to vent and get some perspective/advice. But mostly I came to realize that this was the first wagon where I relied mostly on sheer momentum to get me through. Years and years of patiently wading through life without a drink, weathering the ups and downs and letting the days fall off the calendar -- that "consolidation of gains" became like passive income that had been building up in the background. When I was low on cash and really desperate, those funds were just there for me. Not once did it cross my mind that pounding a fifth of Tito's would be a good idea, because it just hadn't been an option for so long. Even when I was thinking about divorce. Even when I was thinking about a custody battle.
This wagon ride has a happy ending though. After a summer of reconciliation, wifey is pregnant again. This was not something we were planning (nor are we prepared for it), but we're both super excited to welcome another little gremlin into the world. As I pass through each phase of fatherhood, I find myself enjoying it more than I could have possibly imagined. People from all corners of your life will give you their thoughts on parenthood and what it means to them. Here's mine: it is the most life-affirming and terrifying thing in the world to know that you can love someone this much and in such a way. It's mind-blowing, and I would never be able to be a dad if I hadn't climbed on the wagon.
I'm gonna keep thing thing rolling. Sign me up for number 7.
Anyway, I did a lot of reflecting on the previous year at the end of the summer (as I always do). In the past, my wife (and our relationship) was a place I could turn to for support and stability when my wagon felt unsteady. That wasn't the case this year, as my wife was dealing with her own demons and our relationship became a major source of anxiety and frustration. My baby boy is (of course) a huge motivator for me to stay sober, but he's still pushing Fruit Loops around on the floor, so I couldn't really go to him for support either. Instead, I ended up leaning on friends, my parents, and my regular men's AA meeting to vent and get some perspective/advice. But mostly I came to realize that this was the first wagon where I relied mostly on sheer momentum to get me through. Years and years of patiently wading through life without a drink, weathering the ups and downs and letting the days fall off the calendar -- that "consolidation of gains" became like passive income that had been building up in the background. When I was low on cash and really desperate, those funds were just there for me. Not once did it cross my mind that pounding a fifth of Tito's would be a good idea, because it just hadn't been an option for so long. Even when I was thinking about divorce. Even when I was thinking about a custody battle.
This wagon ride has a happy ending though. After a summer of reconciliation, wifey is pregnant again. This was not something we were planning (nor are we prepared for it), but we're both super excited to welcome another little gremlin into the world. As I pass through each phase of fatherhood, I find myself enjoying it more than I could have possibly imagined. People from all corners of your life will give you their thoughts on parenthood and what it means to them. Here's mine: it is the most life-affirming and terrifying thing in the world to know that you can love someone this much and in such a way. It's mind-blowing, and I would never be able to be a dad if I hadn't climbed on the wagon.
I'm gonna keep thing thing rolling. Sign me up for number 7.
Wow man! congratulations! Excellent will power and resolve.
I think this last year and all its additional stressors have been very challenging for a lot of people in their relationships. Mine has certainly had its challenges this year.
I haven't necessarily had a drinking problem, but I have my own maladaptive behaviors such as been way too reactive in life situations and I need to call on that inner calm that you are talking about to get through. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I fail.
I too, have a little kid and another on the way, and it really makes it seem like its do-or-die keeping you stuff together to be a good dad and good family for your kids.
Congratulations again!
I love Lizard of Oz. He doesn't seem to be active here any more. His advice and wisdom helped me to complete a one year wagon some time ago, something that I didn't think was possible. I'll be forever grateful for this anonymous man on the internet. I was able to learn a lot about my motivations to drink, and how to change my behaviour. The advice to recognise our desire to drink, and then dismiss them, was incredible advice. And once you understand this simple advice and how to apply it, it works. However, it didn't work for me in the long term, although I admire people in my situation with such self control. I've concluded that prayer is the only and best solution for me. To begin every day on my knees begging for God to keep me away from temptation, and when temptation comes during the day to close my eyes and pray again. While it might be admirable to use my own self control to control my alcohol problem, I'm putting it now in God's hands
So I've read through around 30 pages or so of this thread... I do want to read it all and perhaps I will get round to it over time. It's been fascinating for me being a more recent member of RVF just how dramatic the contrast is with the ethos now vs. previously, and how markedly different the types of members were, but thank God RVF is leading men towards Truth now instead of vanity.
However, there were nuggets of wisdom and I saved a few inspirational quotes from LoZ to help me on my journey towards abstinence from alcohol. The book referenced by Allen Carr has been particularly helpful, I'm reading that one now.
I would like to revamp this wagon and get it rolling again! I've suffered from the consequences of ill drinking for far too long, and while I've never been physically dependant, as LoZ says many times in his posts, it's not the physical dependence for most but the intensity of ones attitude towards life that causes the obsession, as alcohol just fans the flame of your passions, and results in the inevitable fall from grace. Just two nights ago I had such an occasion and went way too far on a solo bender, and it has ruined my prayer rule and routine in general, so it's time to reign it in.
My plan is that in the next few days I will update this forum with my goals of abstinence and start to replace the wheels of this old, dilapidated drinking wagon. She's seen and heard some tales over the years, and it's time now for another adventure into the fold, out into the wild west of sobriety, clarity and self-control... I'm hoping that later this week I can start the year-round journey. Maybe we can say a prayer or two on our travels, something she was not so familiar with in days of yore, when these former travellers were mostly talking about bangs and bucks... If anyone is thinking the same, and wants to join me, let me know it would be good to have a partner in this fight.
Read the OP for instructions on how to proceed if you want to jump on with me.
However, there were nuggets of wisdom and I saved a few inspirational quotes from LoZ to help me on my journey towards abstinence from alcohol. The book referenced by Allen Carr has been particularly helpful, I'm reading that one now.
I would like to revamp this wagon and get it rolling again! I've suffered from the consequences of ill drinking for far too long, and while I've never been physically dependant, as LoZ says many times in his posts, it's not the physical dependence for most but the intensity of ones attitude towards life that causes the obsession, as alcohol just fans the flame of your passions, and results in the inevitable fall from grace. Just two nights ago I had such an occasion and went way too far on a solo bender, and it has ruined my prayer rule and routine in general, so it's time to reign it in.
My plan is that in the next few days I will update this forum with my goals of abstinence and start to replace the wheels of this old, dilapidated drinking wagon. She's seen and heard some tales over the years, and it's time now for another adventure into the fold, out into the wild west of sobriety, clarity and self-control... I'm hoping that later this week I can start the year-round journey. Maybe we can say a prayer or two on our travels, something she was not so familiar with in days of yore, when these former travellers were mostly talking about bangs and bucks... If anyone is thinking the same, and wants to join me, let me know it would be good to have a partner in this fight.
Read the OP for instructions on how to proceed if you want to jump on with me.
So after drinking my last beverage, a foul-tasting cheap vodka brand, on the close of Lazarus Saturday: the one year drinking wagon begins. Although my ambition is to quit completely, I will comply with the challenge and reflect on it after the first year's done, setting off again after it.
I'll aim to post an update every month or so, just to keep score and mark any difficult occasions. I'm looking forward to it
I'll aim to post an update every month or so, just to keep score and mark any difficult occasions. I'm looking forward to it
Just checking in with you gentlemen to celebrate the fact that today marks a full seven years since the last time I had even a sip of alcohol.
It was not easy. It's still not easy. I still miss it immensely. But the idea of taking that clock that says "SEVEN YEARS" and re-setting it to "ONE DAY" has given me the strength to not give in.
So. I'm not giving in. I am starting my eighth year, right now.
Thank you gentlemen, thank you Lizard of Oz, and good luck to us all. We can do this.
It was not easy. It's still not easy. I still miss it immensely. But the idea of taking that clock that says "SEVEN YEARS" and re-setting it to "ONE DAY" has given me the strength to not give in.
So. I'm not giving in. I am starting my eighth year, right now.
Thank you gentlemen, thank you Lizard of Oz, and good luck to us all. We can do this.
Today completes 8 years on the wagon.
The beauty of such a long wagon is the temptations and lifestyle of drinking have long since faded into the background. And as I have mentioned in previous wagon posts it’s awesome to think how much I have grown and changed in this time.
To guys looking or trying to quit drinking. I've been there. One of the challenges you face is that turning to drink becomes a solution to feelings of anxiety, depression, boredom, etc. At some point that habit forms and you get in too deep with the sauce.
This year I started to get more interested in the role of the subconscious mind in how it can influence our lives. For guys unfamiliar with the it, the key thing to understand is that our subconscious mind represents at least 95% of our actions. Most of the time we act on a motivation/behavior that is coming from place we are not consciously aware of.
Since most people don’t have good relationship with their unconscious mind, if you can harness yours then it has massive power and potential to change you. One of the quirks of the subconscious is that it takes everything literally, and will believe whatever you tell it. So, unlike the conscious mind it is unable to know what is true. With the subconscious mind you can imprint a reality and your subconscious mind will begin to create it.
There is no one size fits all solution to accessing your subconscious as you can use either self hypnosis or meditation to get your mind in an alfa state. Before I fall asleep, I start to count down from 100 and I open by eyes every odd number so 99, 97, 95 etc., while closing them on every even number 98, 96, 94 etc. until I start to get into an alfa state. Once I have entered the alfa state, I begin to visualize my control room. I went to a hypnotherapist before who hypnotized me and helped me create it. Essentially, once I am in that room in my mind, I can access a control grid that I can use to “turn up” emotions and behaviors. All I do is visualize myself turning up different switches to feel more relaxed, or feel more grateful, whatever emotion and behavior I want more of. It’s maybe a 10 minute process, but you will sleep amazing and wake up rejuvenated.
In the morning, I spend 15 minutes with a meditation practice that involves the Wim Hoff breathing technique while listening to binaural beats with headphones on. During this exercise, when I start to enter the alfa state and I begin to repeat positive affirmations like “I am confident”, “I am relaxed”, “I am energetic” and so on. Basically, whatever emotion and behavior I want to project throughout my day. The thing is after a few days of doing this you will start to manifest these emotions and behaviors in your life and at that point it’s almost like you have found a cheat code to a better you.
If you are curious to learn more, I would recommend “The Genie Within” by Harry W. Carpenter. The $1 kindle book on Amazon is one of the best I have read on the subconscious. The author had incurable illness as a child and all the Doctors thought he would not survive. His family eventually took to a Christian Scientist friend who instilled in his mind that he could get healthy and he did. That experience led him on a lifelong journey to learn about the power of the subconscious and this book is what he discovered.
Hopefully, this post was not too long, sign me up for year 9 and good luck to all my fellow wagoners.
The beauty of such a long wagon is the temptations and lifestyle of drinking have long since faded into the background. And as I have mentioned in previous wagon posts it’s awesome to think how much I have grown and changed in this time.
To guys looking or trying to quit drinking. I've been there. One of the challenges you face is that turning to drink becomes a solution to feelings of anxiety, depression, boredom, etc. At some point that habit forms and you get in too deep with the sauce.
This year I started to get more interested in the role of the subconscious mind in how it can influence our lives. For guys unfamiliar with the it, the key thing to understand is that our subconscious mind represents at least 95% of our actions. Most of the time we act on a motivation/behavior that is coming from place we are not consciously aware of.
Since most people don’t have good relationship with their unconscious mind, if you can harness yours then it has massive power and potential to change you. One of the quirks of the subconscious is that it takes everything literally, and will believe whatever you tell it. So, unlike the conscious mind it is unable to know what is true. With the subconscious mind you can imprint a reality and your subconscious mind will begin to create it.
There is no one size fits all solution to accessing your subconscious as you can use either self hypnosis or meditation to get your mind in an alfa state. Before I fall asleep, I start to count down from 100 and I open by eyes every odd number so 99, 97, 95 etc., while closing them on every even number 98, 96, 94 etc. until I start to get into an alfa state. Once I have entered the alfa state, I begin to visualize my control room. I went to a hypnotherapist before who hypnotized me and helped me create it. Essentially, once I am in that room in my mind, I can access a control grid that I can use to “turn up” emotions and behaviors. All I do is visualize myself turning up different switches to feel more relaxed, or feel more grateful, whatever emotion and behavior I want more of. It’s maybe a 10 minute process, but you will sleep amazing and wake up rejuvenated.
In the morning, I spend 15 minutes with a meditation practice that involves the Wim Hoff breathing technique while listening to binaural beats with headphones on. During this exercise, when I start to enter the alfa state and I begin to repeat positive affirmations like “I am confident”, “I am relaxed”, “I am energetic” and so on. Basically, whatever emotion and behavior I want to project throughout my day. The thing is after a few days of doing this you will start to manifest these emotions and behaviors in your life and at that point it’s almost like you have found a cheat code to a better you.
If you are curious to learn more, I would recommend “The Genie Within” by Harry W. Carpenter. The $1 kindle book on Amazon is one of the best I have read on the subconscious. The author had incurable illness as a child and all the Doctors thought he would not survive. His family eventually took to a Christian Scientist friend who instilled in his mind that he could get healthy and he did. That experience led him on a lifelong journey to learn about the power of the subconscious and this book is what he discovered.
Hopefully, this post was not too long, sign me up for year 9 and good luck to all my fellow wagoners.
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