thedarkknight
Kingfisher
SPOILER ALERT: This post may contain whining
I'm 26 and qualified from medical school two years ago. I then spent two years doing my compulsory junior doctor training in the NHS. I decided not to apply for speciality training this year, so I have one year " off the treadmill." I planned on doing a locum job in cardiology but that fell through two days ago. Now I am doing as and when 13 hr acute medicine shifts for two days/ nights a week.
By the end of the second year, I had become visibly miserable at work. I wasn't lazy and made no major mistakes but nurses would ask me why don't I smile. I did extra shifts because I adopted the mentality of earn money and don't fuck up, which at 26 and two years into a lifelong career is worrying. On the last day of the rotation, a senior spoke to me one on one asking me that many seniors thought I was depressed and that it was obvious I hated me job. I was very quiet but my body language screamed that I would rather do anything than my job. He advised me not to rush in deciding what I want to do. I want to do internal medicine but have had four months of psychiatry followed by four months of general surgery, I haven't dont any internal med since the start of December.
My plan as of right now is,
1)Do occasional acute medicine shifts to brush up skills and earn money
2) Sign up to language courses at my old university
3)Try to get more teaching / papers published from the hospital I worked at over the last two years
4) Taking the first stage of the medicine post grad exam in September
5) have fun and learn game
Have I fucked up and am I in a right mess?
It's just strange that two years ago I was such a go getter . I got four papers published in journals and was hitting it hard. Now....I would count down the hours left at work... daily.
I was thinking where I'd want to go win this medicine business. I don't need tons money and am a low key guy with no desire to climb up the ladder. I was raised from a very humble background and I kinda kept the same kind of mentality despite getting these qualifications. I just want to enjoy and be good at my job. That's it.
TDK
I'm 26 and qualified from medical school two years ago. I then spent two years doing my compulsory junior doctor training in the NHS. I decided not to apply for speciality training this year, so I have one year " off the treadmill." I planned on doing a locum job in cardiology but that fell through two days ago. Now I am doing as and when 13 hr acute medicine shifts for two days/ nights a week.
By the end of the second year, I had become visibly miserable at work. I wasn't lazy and made no major mistakes but nurses would ask me why don't I smile. I did extra shifts because I adopted the mentality of earn money and don't fuck up, which at 26 and two years into a lifelong career is worrying. On the last day of the rotation, a senior spoke to me one on one asking me that many seniors thought I was depressed and that it was obvious I hated me job. I was very quiet but my body language screamed that I would rather do anything than my job. He advised me not to rush in deciding what I want to do. I want to do internal medicine but have had four months of psychiatry followed by four months of general surgery, I haven't dont any internal med since the start of December.
My plan as of right now is,
1)Do occasional acute medicine shifts to brush up skills and earn money
2) Sign up to language courses at my old university
3)Try to get more teaching / papers published from the hospital I worked at over the last two years
4) Taking the first stage of the medicine post grad exam in September
5) have fun and learn game
Have I fucked up and am I in a right mess?
It's just strange that two years ago I was such a go getter . I got four papers published in journals and was hitting it hard. Now....I would count down the hours left at work... daily.
I was thinking where I'd want to go win this medicine business. I don't need tons money and am a low key guy with no desire to climb up the ladder. I was raised from a very humble background and I kinda kept the same kind of mentality despite getting these qualifications. I just want to enjoy and be good at my job. That's it.
TDK