30 Days of Group Praying for Tradwife and Nofap

Jive Turkey

Woodpecker
Good

God doesn't grant wishes in my worldview and i think this type of thinking is a distorted view of the Bible pushed by highly sheltered wealthy evangelicals who haven't fully understood or accepted the nature of masculinity/feminity or humanity in general. Suffering is just part of the gig of being here and Jesus made that clear in the gospels. I wouldn't want someone to lose their faith or have it damaged by latching onto this pervasive wish granting ideology in the mainstream church.i don't believe this is what prayer is intended for but you'll see prosperity teachings all over the place. Not to say God won't bless you, but you need to prepare for any outcome at any time. Life's short so i believe you should plan accordingly and not let the whims of loneliness or your flesh dictate your satisfaction with life. Pray to become a man of character and if you find a great wife so much the better. If you don't have that character in place you wont make a very good husband anyway.
These are pretty good points, especially the part about praying to be a man of character. I have been praying for this on and off for good while now. It is important to be a man who is ready to be a good husband. Even though my last relationship ended with a secular girl, I prayed for patience and forgiveness and made good strides. Of course I still battle pride and harshness and all these things, but that is one prayer I can testify to having been answered.

But I also think that God is open to granting us certain things. I think within His will there are many options as to what is permissible, hence us having free will. If it is truly in my heart to marry God may help me become married. If it is truly in my heart to become a monk or a priest He may allow that as well, so long as these things can conform to His ultimate design. I don't believe we have a fixed path in life. But I may be wrong about this. You make your point well and it is definitely something to consider. I will probably ammend my prayers and focus more on praying to be able to abide in and accept his will. But for now I will also continue with this thirty day prayer.


Edit: Day 8 (?) Completed. I have prayed for all of you. And want to reiterate my love for the brothers here!

Also, I may take a break from the internet next week, so if I don't post do not think I have forgot or abandoned the project. I will probably write down the names I have so far.
 
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Jive Turkey

Woodpecker
Update: just got done praying. For whatever reason today it was so hard to pray. It took me almost 30 minutes to sit down and do it, then I kept getting distracted with random thoughts. After those went away I began to just blank and lose my train of thought. But these are the days when we strengthen our spiritual muscles! I am going strong on nofap, this has been one of the easiest runs I have had. The prayer works guys. Anyone struggling, pray regularly, not just when it is hard. And for whatever reason, praying for other, specific people, has helped more than when I was just praying for myself. I think of the early Church and what beautiful and harmonious communal conditions many of them must have had. I suppose this is an image of heaven.
 

Jive Turkey

Woodpecker
Two weeks (I think) has been completed as of today! I don't know that I have ever before in my life prayed for two weeks without missing a day, and certainly not for the same thing. I have to say it was not of my doing. God is transforming my heart. He is clearing and creating the path for me and I just have to walk it. The Lord God is good! He is blessing us. I have to say, although unrelated this prayer has been so good for my heart and my disposition regarding the plandemic. I am optimistic about the outcome, for no particular reason, but I think some new unforeseen good will come of this. Will it be Heaven on Earth? No. But it will be God's will. I love all of my brothers and sisters here on this forum ♥️
 

newcomer

Sparrow
Orthodox Inquirer
I'm familiar with the type of evangelical you're talking about but I don't think...or at least I hope that's not what these guys are doing exactly. I think you're kind of right though about trying to make God follow a human man's plan. Again, I don't think these guys are demanding anything from God so much as asking.

But it's a good question...is it better to maybe just ask God for understanding and perseverance than for something specific?
I remember priestmonk Kosmas talking about praying for a spouse. I see nothing wrong with that - God will give you a spouse if he sees it is necessary for your salvation. It is better to marry than to burn with passion and its downright impossible (at least where I live) to find good wife material, thats why I need to pray for it.
I kind of get what @Nate_Drake is trying to say but a praying for a good spouse is not the same as praying for a nice car or wealth (prosperity gospel).
 

Jive Turkey

Woodpecker
Update: last night I had a massive migraine and did not pray for the specific members, but did pray for the forum in general.

Also, I downloaded the Christian dating app Upward, and matched with a few nice girls. One girl I hit it off with, but then she cancelled the date because she had an "out of town family emergency". Who knows, she seemed nice, complemented me, suggested we hang out and seemed very eager over text, but since the emergency I haven't heard from her.

Another girl I have arrangements with to get coffee after church this Sunday. I spoke with her for a few days over text and I called her on the phone tonight. We spoke for two hours and had a very good conversation. She is theologically sharp and seems to have good values. I will proceed with caution because if I "click" with someone, I tend to throw myself in and try really hard to make things work even if there are compatibility issues.

By the way, for the guys cynical about online dating, very understandable. I'm head honcho of the big girl rodeo when it comes to Tinder, but on Upward I actually match with really nice and pretty girls, and most of them respond to your messages as well. Far fewer are using the app for validation, though some definitely are.

I would encourage anyone here to try it and use it respectfully and judiciously.


If the date sticks I am excited to report back to you all!
 

Jive Turkey

Woodpecker
This is something I may need to undertake.
The sins of the flesh and lust are something I've struggled with for a long time.
Have you been praying for help and a new heart that despises lust and pornography daily? Since I began these daily prayers my struggle has been very light. Also in a moment of direct temptation it is good to say a quick Jesus prayer, almost reflexively.
 
Have you been praying for help and a new heart that despises lust and pornography daily? Since I began these daily prayers my struggle has been very light. Also in a moment of direct temptation it is good to say a quick Jesus prayer, almost reflexively.
I'm praying but not for that in particular, so I will begin to include that. I do say the Jesus prayer often throughout the day.
 

TheLongGame

Chicken
Orthodox
I'm on day 60 now right now. Feeling good. Jerking off straight up depresses me, not exactly sure why, I think it's related to energy and hormone levels. I'm pretty sure testosterone helps with dealing with shit and keeps your mood high. A lot of difficult and dramatic life stuff happened recently and nofap is really helping me stay positive and optimistic about the future (there's a lot of reasons to be actually, even if random weird stuff happens).

Nofap is just good for you, the same way have a high-quality meal is relative to snacking on junk food. I started doing it at 22 and it completely changed my life for the better.
 
I was doing very well at the beginning of May, and I lapsed near the middle of July and I have not been able to be consistent. I asked a female friend to be my accountability partner, but it's turning out that was a very bad plan. I know with God's help and with others help I can do it. I went a whole year in 2018 without relapsing. I was working out, eating right, my prayer life was better. I'm just in a rut right now.
 

Mortay

Sparrow
Wow I just found this thread. Please pray for me.

I recently encountered a Christian woman with strong moral convictions. We have been texting back in forth for 3 weeks now and went on one date. I am not sure what will come of it. I am praying for discernment and for the strength to deny myself as we continue the courtship.

I will also keep my prayers for the other men on this thread.
 

Solitarius

Sparrow
"Saint Remigius writes, that if children be excepted, the number of adults that are saved, is few, on account of the sins of the flesh. "Exceptis parvulis ex adultis propter vitiam carnis pauci salvantur". In conformity with this doctrine, it was revealed to a holy soul, that as pride has filled Hell with devils, so impurity fills it with men. Saint Isidore assigns this reason. He says that there is no vice which so much enslaves men to the Devil as impurity. "Magis per luxuriam, humanum genus subditur diabolo, quam per aliquod aliud" - Saint Isidore. Hence Saint Augustine says, that with regard to this sin, the combat is common, and the victory rare. Hence it is that on account of this sin, Hell is filled with souls.​


All that I have said on this subject, has been said, not that anyone present, who has been addicted to the vice of impurity, may be driven to despair, but that such persons may be cured. Let us then come to the remedies. There are two great remedies; prayer and the flight of dangerous occasions. Prayer, says Saint Gregory of Nyssa, is the safeguard of Chastity. "Oratio pudicitiae praesidium et tutamen est". And before him, Solomon, speaking of himself, said the same. "And as I knew that I could not otherwise be continent, except God gave it, . . . I went to the Lord, and besought Him" - Wisdom 8:21. Thus it is impossible for us to conquer this vice without God's assistance. Hence, as soon as a temptation against chastity presents itself, the remedy is to turn instantly to God for help, and to repeat several times the most holy names of Jesus and Mary, which have a special virtue to banish bad thoughts of that kind. I have said immediately, without listening to, or beginning to argue with the temptation. When a bad thought occurs in the mind, it is necessary to shake it off instantly, as you would a spark that flies from the fire, and instantly to invoke aid from Jesus and Mary.​


As to the flight of dangerous occasions, Saint Philip Neri used to say, that cowards - that is, they who fly from the occasions - gain the victory. Hence, you must, in the first place, keep a restraint on the eyes, and must abstain from looking at young females. Otherwise, says Saint Thomas, you can scarcely avoid this sin. Hence Job said: "I made a covenant with my eyes, that I would not so much as think upon a virgin" - Job 31:1. He was afraid to look at a virgin; because from looks it is easy to pass to desires, and from desires to acts. Saint Francis de Sales used to say, that to look at a woman does not do so much evil, as to look at her a second time. If the Devil has not gained a victory the first, he will gain it the second time. And if it be necessary to abstain from looking at females, it is much more necessary to avoid conversation with them. "Tarry not among women" - Ecclesiasticus 42:12. We should be persuaded that, in avoiding occasions of this sin, no caution can be too great. Hence we must be always fearful, and fly from them. "A wise man feareth, and declineth from evil: the fool leapeth over, and is confident" - Proverbs 14:16. A wise man is timid, and flies away; a fool is confident, and falls." This is from a sermon given by S. Alphonsus Liguori on impurity, it can be found in its entirety for free online. God will certainly assist with His grace those who earnestly seek to fulfil His Holy Commandments.​
 

Wammer44

Pigeon
Not a whole lot man. I noticed she was also into cycling, & approached with that common interest. Came to find out she was also from my hometown, so we had more commonality. Not to put much weight into a first date, but great potential hopefully.

We’re going on a leisurely bike ride to the gelato shop. Christian dating is new to me too. I quit drinking, so have to be more creative than old times lol.
Updates…My cold approach flaked & said she caught Covid lol. Can’t put too much weight in these things, but it did help jumpstart this self-improvement process…

NO FAP: guys I’m in my early 30’s and have been a coomer since 13. I have managed 3 7-day streaks and I’m at my best during those. I completely see the benefit to no fap now, and am hungrier than ever to stop for good (day 3 rn). For me, the motivation & mental clarity is my main benefit. I have not looked at porn since my original post, but I have still coomed to fantasies in my head.

FITNESS: Raced in my first ever mountain bike race and placed 6th. Have been cranking out 70+ mile rides on the weekends. Started lifting 4 weeks ago and am seeing gains. Have also been very focused on eating right, nutrition, & sleep. The main benefit has been mental & spiritual

DATING: Kings…I’m still not ready. I am on the apps and use filters to limit who I see (by faith, children, etc.). I’ve got some decent matches, however, they do not go far. I live in a heavy SBC/Pentecostal area; I am struggling connecting with them, most recently being told I have religion but not a relationship. Idk what that even means. The apps have not been good for my self esteem.

I’ve been on several dates this month with an agnostic who I feel like I connect with on every level BESIDES faith. However, I turned her down because I can’t fathom that difference in beliefs long-term. It’s been hard on me, because I struggle connecting with the woman I desire the most, & it seems to go well with those with different beliefs. This is partly due to my degenerate times spent in my 20’s, as those are the woman I’m used to talking too.

Despite my healthy & active lifestyle, my decent looks & physique, my job & my wealth, & my Christian Faith; this is not enough. I know this is flawed, but to be candid, I always held the belief that if I was a Christian & went to church, God would deliver me a trad wife sort of out of the blue. At my age, I’ve swallowed the pill that this isn’t the case.

What is more attractive is self-confidence, not being nervous, having your mental game together, eye contact, being interested in others, social network, & being able to hold a conversation. As an autist, I struggle with all of those things. In addition to no fap & my continued fitness regime, I intend to work on all of the aforementioned items above these next 30 days.

Appreciate everyone’s posts, I intend to read them all tonight. Keep me in your prayers, yall are in mine
 
@Warhammer44.....
Brother, I thank you very much for your "update".
I want to give you honest words of motivation and hope, in love....

The noFap action will have tremendous positive effects. I remember when I did this sinfull and pertverted thing, which the world now teaches is "healthy"..... How much conscience cried, and Im sure it opens the doors to "effiminate" spirits, which of course hinders your success in finding a (godly) woman. Its terrible and ripps you off of your masculine energy. GOD wants you to have Sex physically, with a real female body, thats for SURE.

I CONGRATULATE you, that you skipped the dating with the "Agnostic", you avoided a trap. If she is not interested about SOUND DOCTRINE, of the one true GOD, she will bring you huge trouble, sooner or later. Believe me, thats for sure also.

The most important thing I want to write you, which came into my mind today at work is regarding the "cold approach" and dating.
First, I myself have "fallen" in the last weeks. I was tempted very hard and was put into "mental glitches", which are very hard to escape.... But I got delievered yesterday. I found myself in very vulnerable situations, also being weak, and wounds were opened again. But the "game" is not over. I was NOT prepared and foolish enough to enter extremely dangerous territory.....

I confirm to you that "preperation" is very important. And as an Autist, you can be THANKFULL to the LORD, because he might do even GREATER works through you, for his glory! Im not sure, but its worth to check this out: Autism might be caused by a unclean spirit and might be "cast out". If its PHYSICAL (maybe generational curse), dont worry either.... The HOLY SPIRIT is your master and he can deal with these sorts of restrictions. GOD used in the OT very weird dudes, also crippled, in the times of Judges to do his will. This is rather a BLESSING!
Regarding preperation..... in Biblical language its called "made WHOLE".... so that you are pure in spirit- when you have this you are ready to present your "true self".... which of course is necessery to attract the right woman.

Im sure brother Roosh was right, the Holy Spirit will put the right words on your lips when you are WHOLE and spirit filled.
Many concepts of "Pick Up Arts" can be found in the Bible also, but GODS WORD of course is the Diamant.

If you are interested I can provide you a small guide on how to start conversation and some basic principles, which match with the Bible to have some "training wheels". Its like a mixture of "Game technology", but based on GODS word.... suited to the actual times we live in.
If you are sceptical you can also wait, if I can prove that this works, no problem.

The Idea that GOD will provide you a good wife, if you be nice and go to church is just OUTDATED, in my opinion. This worked back in the days where christian principles were present in culture.The seasons have changed, see the book of Ester for example. Now we are in the middle of a huge conspiracy and everything is much harder than before. But GOD will provide, if you seek....
You are here in one of the best places, a secret gold chamber.

I wrote allready, that Im getting old and burned out..... If I cant succeed in this area I would love to pass the torch on younger guys and if people like you suceed, that would bring me the same satisfaction as if I have suceeded!

I again recommend you this guy for "preperation". I must say he is very charismatic, yet humble..... and his wife also seems to be very nice, I think right now.
The Biblical Way To Date
0000-----vlad.jpg

You see, this guy also has "physical restrictions".....
 

Jive Turkey

Woodpecker
Well howdy fellers, I have a bit of an update for you. I have went on two dates since beginning this project.

The first was last Sunday. Nice girl, met on Upward, she seemed pretty in her pictures. She alluded that she was tall, which didn't bother me, because I was still taller than her. When she shows up she was ginormous, definitely taller than she said and very big boned, plus a little chubby. Nice girl, but basically catfished me. She also reversed her stance very quickly to align with mine over trivial matters which I found odd.

Second date was earlier today. This girl looked as good or better than her pictures so I was happy with that. She was really sweet and pleasant, good conversationalist and had good perspectives which I really appreciated. The huge, major sticking point for me, is that she is Orthodox and proclaimed that she does not believe gay sex is a sin. I am not making this up. It was brought up because she mentioned that she is liberal and I invited her to explain, no judgment from my end.

I am probably gonna go on another date with her, because I did enjoy my time with her, but I feel like this is ultimately a suicide mission because if she basically writes off doctrine because of her feels, I think we will have bigger problems later on down the road.

I have begun entertaining the idea, that if I don't get married by 35 that I may become a monk.
 

Max Roscoe

Pelican
Orthodox Inquirer
Haha, well as a guy a little bit older, the 35 year old thing made me laugh.
There's still plenty of time. I'm a few years older and just now several friends are getting married for the first time, some are over age 40.
I didn't really hit big success with women until 30, when they really start to notice you.

I am really enjoying all the positivity in this thread, particularly during the lockdown times.

A couple of points I will make:
1) If you are struggling with a big change (ie giving up masturbation / fornication) consider doing a fast at the same time. Your body will be reacting to the lack of food and will feel differently than it normally does, and this will be a constant reminder to you of your goal and can help keep you from slipping.

2) The orthodox girl who doesn't believe gayness is sinning... My old self would have said as long as she isn't gay herself then it doesn't matter how she judges others, but I now have 2 close family friends who are claiming they are "lesbian." I have a more liberal view on homosexuality in that I'm open to the idea that some of it is a naturally occuring thing that a certain percentage of people will have a same sex attraction (whereas the vast majority of it is created in our society ie Nature vs Nurture).

But the difference is whether you act on that attraction or not. You sin if you fornicate or lie with someone of the same sex. If you are merely attracted only, it's no different than me being attracted to curvy latinas, as long as we don't act on our desires, but acting on a homosexual or heterosexual desire out of marriage is sinful.

A sick society is one that encourages people to sin, and a mother that doesn't stop her daughter from claiming she is lesbian is a very real threat to your family in 2021. It's fine if she doesn't want to condemn others for gayness, but if she is truly not opposed to the idea of homosexuality, I don't see how she could be a good wife. If this woman won't be able to tell her daughter "No you are not a lesbian, that's ridiculous" then you will be on your own. Schools and classmates and corporations are all encouraging gayness today.

If she truly doesn't believe gay *sex* is a sin, as you stated, then she needs to discuss that with her priest.
 
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