33 Things Christian Men Should Know About Women

[TheosisSeeker]

This thread has descended into a pointless discussion over weight.

Being overweight is unhealthy. Period.

Men do not want to date overweight women.

People should attempt to get obese people to exercise and eat healthy.

The females arguing in favor of fat women are most likely fat themselves. Not just that, this fat woman alliance is not to the benefit of anyone, not even the women. It's a defense mechanism so everyone in the group stays fat. God forbid one loses weight because the other females know she will then be superior, more attractive, get better men, and make the others in the group feel worse.

It's just a way to keep a person down so they don't become better or above the level of the group. Don't delude yourselves that it's anything else, and they aren't friends cause real ones want to help you rise.

 

[Camellia]

"Fat shaming" is a standard practice in Argentina. In fact, people will have nick names based on their physical defects or characteristics and I've never seen anyone fall apart because of it. I think the difference is that Argentinians don't take themselves too seriously and are able to laugh at themselves. I remember, the first time we went back to Argentina to visit after moving to the States, the first comment people made was about my husband's weight. Someone padded his belly and said: "I can see life is treating you well" lol. Thankfully, he has pretty thick skin, so he didn't get offended. I realize that this is inconceivable in a very sensitive society like this one, where big egos run life, but from what I've seen, many other countries do it. An Irish neighbor once told me she thought I was my kids baby sitter because I'm dark-haired and they're super blond. People who hear this think she's racist, but to me, that sounds perfectly normal!

I asked my husband what he thinks about a man marrying a fat but virtuous woman and he said: "good luck with that". He said that it doesn't even matter whether a girl is pretty or not, as long as she's slim. I think most men would agree with this. I know my husband ultimately married me because he thought I was going to be a godly mother and wife, but I would be lying if I said physical attraction has not played an important role in keeping our marriage strong for so many years.

 

[messaggera]

A survey of fat women was taken. They asked them if they would rather be fat or blind. Most of them said they would rather be blind. The reason they gave was because if Most of them said they would rather be blind. The reason they gave was because if you are blind then people want to help you.u. People who fat-shame have no compassion. It is not a very Christian thing to do.

Would you be so kind to provide the link to access this survey you mentioned?

It is not wrong to shame (directly to and not gossip) an individual’s behaviour that leads one to sin; however it is wrong to invoke malice without the intention to provide Christian Charity to an individual.

There is a strong argument for spiritual deadness for those women who said “they would rather be blind than fat because if you are blind then people want to help you.”

Those individuals’ responses are an indicator emotional and mental instability - playing the victim instead of taking accountability for their own behaviour that has placed them in the circumstances.

How offensive this is to blind individuals!
The circumstances are different. One did not chose to be blind and has no control, as were, the obese women do have control. Being physical blind is not a sin; but pride and gluttony are sinful behaviours.

It is. However for some men it actually works. As it worked for Kittytantrum.

Some take it as constructive criticism. But others don't take it so well. If fat shaming is horrible then so is all shaming period.

When society allows culture to dictate moral values we end up with the acceptance of murdering babies in the womb, individuals self identifying by their lust for sexual debauchery, and the sexual mutilation of children.

If we were to remove shame, how would society instill the needed uncomfortable feeling of guilt or of being ashamed based on the individual chosen behaviours that rot society, and soul?

There is nothing wrong with telling someone “you should feel ashamed of yourself!”

 

[Kitty Tantrum]

Someone padded his belly and said: "I can see life is treating you well"

That's what we need more of. I had professor from Spain back in college who talked about similar experiences from when he went back home to visit family. Weight gain can be pointed out lovingly and very gently in the early stages, but around here these days, even something as relatively tactful as this, is likely to be viewed by the masses in the same vein as going up to a random person on the street and calling them a disgusting hambeast and suggesting that they should kill themselves. It's like all sense of proportion and context have been banned from the public consciousness with regard to this issue.

(And not to get even MORE tangential, but I think that overall the atomization of the American people has caused a rift where now many perceive no difference between dealing with family/very close friends, and dealing with strangers on the street. Familiarity no longer confers any increased sense of either privilege OR obligation to speak up about anything that might cause anyone discomfort. We're all just supposed to shut up unless we are saying Nice and Polite things.)

It's cruel to use shame as a tool just to hurt someone's feelings, no matter who they are, and whether your criticisms/observations are true and accurate or not.

But it is good to use shame as a tool to encourage improvement, understanding, repentance, etc., from the people in your rightful circles of influence. As a mother, I have had to do this for my children at times, whether I wanted to or not.

Shame feels bad, but that doesn't mean we ought to be protected from ever feeling it.

Think about it: the mechanism by which progressivism seeks to stamp out all speech that can be construed as "fat-shaming" - is, in fact... SHAME. We're "supposed" to feel ASHAMED of mentioning someone's weight and making any kind of distinction between healthy and unhealthy. EVEN OUR OWN.

It is only "acceptable" to use shame to curtail and police certain kinds of speech... and NOT OKAY to use it to discourage and curtail actual self-destructive behaviors?

That tells me everything I need to know.

 

[TMarie]

Would you be so kind to provide the link to access this survey you mentioned?

It is not wrong to shame (directly to and not gossip) an individual’s behaviour that leads one to sin; however it is wrong to invoke malice without the intention to provide Christian Charity to an individual.

There is a strong argument for spiritual deadness for those women who said “they would rather be blind than fat because if you are blind then people want to help you.”

Those individuals’ responses are an indicator emotional and mental instability - playing the victim instead of taking accountability for their own behaviour that has placed them in the circumstances.

How offensive this is to blind individuals!
The circumstances are different. One did not chose to be blind and has no control, as were, the obese women do have control. Being physical blind is not a sin; but pride and gluttony are sinful behaviours.



When society allows culture to dictate moral values we end up with the acceptance of murdering babies in the womb, individuals self identifying by their lust for sexual debauchery, and the sexual mutilation of children.

If we were to remove shame, how would society instill the needed uncomfortable feeling of guilt or of being ashamed based on the individual chosen behaviours that rot society, and soul?

There is nothing wrong with telling someone “you should feel ashamed of yourself!”

My conscience won't let me fat-shame. God will judge me if I am wrong. If He tells me on judgement day that I should have fat-shamed, then I will ask Him to forgive me. For the record, I am not a fat person. I am 5'6" and 120 pounds.

I could not locate the actual survey. Here is an article regarding the survey. The study was published online in the American Journal of Public Health. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1384026/The-women-blind-fat.html

 

[infowarrior1]

That's what we need more of. I had professor from Spain back in college who talked about similar experiences from when he went back home to visit family. Weight gain can be pointed out lovingly and very gently in the early stages, but around here these days, even something as relatively tactful as this, is likely to be viewed by the masses in the same vein as going up to a random person on the street and calling them a disgusting hambeast and suggesting that they should kill themselves. It's like all sense of proportion and context have been banned from the public consciousness with regard to this issue.

(And not to get even MORE tangential, but I think that overall the atomization of the American people has caused a rift where now many perceive no difference between dealing with family/very close friends, and dealing with strangers on the street. Familiarity no longer confers any increased sense of either privilege OR obligation to speak up about anything that might cause anyone discomfort. We're all just supposed to shut up unless we are saying Nice and Polite things.)

It's cruel to use shame as a tool just to hurt someone's feelings, no matter who they are, and whether your criticisms/observations are true and accurate or not.

But it is good to use shame as a tool to encourage improvement, understanding, repentance, etc., from the people in your rightful circles of influence. As a mother, I have had to do this for my children at times, whether I wanted to or not.

Shame feels bad, but that doesn't mean we ought to be protected from ever feeling it.

Think about it: the mechanism by which progressivism seeks to stamp out all speech that can be construed as "fat-shaming" - is, in fact... SHAME. We're "supposed" to feel ASHAMED of mentioning someone's weight and making any kind of distinction between healthy and unhealthy. EVEN OUR OWN.

It is only "acceptable" to use shame to curtail and police certain kinds of speech... and NOT OKAY to use it to discourage and curtail actual self-destructive behaviors?

That tells me everything I need to know.

What I see in culture is the discouragement of responsibility among women. Even constructive criticism is made out to be abusive rather than necessary and good.

That among other things ensure that the person stays as irresponsible child rather than an adult that actually do acknowledges cause and effect and thereby is empowered to take actions to correct said course.

Necessary improvement cannot occur unless people see a connection between their free will choices and the responsibility for the consequences. And also bears the pain of doing so. And one doesn't have to hear the weight of responsibility alone for King David laid his burdens on God.

Likewise the phenomenon of young women partying in their 20's and being promiscuous and only considering themselves ready in their 30's and 40's have already pretty much lost 10+ of their prime years already and have ruined their ability to bond to their future husband by the time they consider themselves ready.

I would prefer Godly older women to keep younger women from this waste of life. But this appears to be the regular script in our current West.

 

[infowarrior1]

That's true to a point - and no amount of inexperience can gloss over significant asymmetry or other obvious deformity.

But a young man who has basically never been around a naked woman, never been with a woman sexually, never been exposed to pornographic imagery, etc. will not have set the same baseline for himself as a man who has looked at a lot of pornography, seen a lot of naked women, been with a lot of women sexually, and has developed, ehhh... robust personal tastes and expectations based on past experience.

A man who has been with a lot of "hot" women, or wired his brain up with porn-level expectations, often thinks 20-30 pounds overweight is disgusting and "unbangable." FWIW with 20-30 pounds left to go until I'm down to a good weight, it's hard to argue with that, I'm not even saying this is unreasonable.

(Although it's interesting that many of these men have had no problem lowering their fitness standards for a "slump buster" - an "ugly" woman chosen for easy fornication when they have not fornicated in a while - but for marriage, they won't settle for anything but the absolute best they think they can get - and they want her to show up in tip-top shape instead of having to help her get there. They would compromise and sacrifice to satisfy their base sexual urge, but they will not compromise or sacrifice to offer themselves up in marriage as a sacrament for the glory of God. I dunno. Priorities seem kinda sus.)

Just to comment again on this phenomenon I see this tweet:


I think there is truth to the fact that porn helps distort aesthetic preferences away from God's original designed preferences. Whether overly large breasts(like larger than her head) or ultra-thin boyish looking frames and so on. Whereas God's original designed preferences are far better proportioned where everything is the right size and place according to the Golden Mean in addition to symmetry:

Golden mean (philosophy) - Infogalactic: the planetary knowledge core

infogalactic.com

When a person's base urges get distorted its interesting that they just as often go dumpster diving for the sake of lust. Its like a glutton eating horrible food for similar reasons. It all gets unbalanced. Even quality control goes out the window since one becomes such a slave to sin.

 

[Starlight]

My conscience won't let me fat-shame. God will judge me if I am wrong. If He tells me on judgement day that I should have fat-shamed, then I will ask Him to forgive me. For the record, I am not a fat person. I am 5'6" and 120 pounds.

I know what you mean (in reference to your last few posts) regarding “fat-shaming.” I definitely do not condone kicking a dog when it’s down and would never support that. There definitely is a difference between rightful “tough love” and just being a jerk. And I think that’s where nuance really becomes important because each individual is different and, just as importantly, our relationships with each person we know are different.

That being said, the term “fat shaming” has really become such a loaded term with the Fat Acceptance and Body Positivity movements so that any criticism over a person’s weight is met with immediate backlash. No one is allowed to talk about it… And then, even worse, obese is projected as “normal” all over the media.

On a side note, no one has a problem pointing out if someone is drinking alcohol to excess... but pointing out that someone is eating to excess is “fat shaming”? Where is the difference really?

 

[infowarrior1]

I know what you mean (in reference to your last few posts) regarding “fat-shaming.” I definitely do not condone kicking a dog when it’s down and would never support that. There definitely is a difference between rightful “tough love” and just being a jerk. And I think that’s where nuance really becomes important because each individual is different and, just as importantly, our relationships with each person we know are different.

That being said, the term “fat shaming” has really become such a loaded term with the Fat Acceptance and Body Positivity movements so that any criticism over a person’s weight is met with immediate backlash. No one is allowed to talk about it… And then, even worse, obese is projected as “normal” all over the media.

On a side note, no one has a problem pointing out if someone is drinking alcohol to excess... but pointing out that someone is eating to excess is “fat shaming”? Where is the difference really?

Really explains the regression to an infantile state of many people who throw tantrums. But those people are also in positions of power and influence. Its quite sad and pathetic.

 

[TMarie]

What I see in culture is the discouragement of responsibility among women. Even constructive criticism is made out to be abusive rather than necessary and good.

And in culture we often fail to see the discouragement of responsibility of men. They are told to go out and party and have fun etc. while they are young. That is the message that is being sent out to them today. It is not good advice. They should be looking for a future bride while they are young and before their innocence is destroyed with the harsh reality that comes with a promiscuous life. They often end up disappointed, disgusted and regretful.

Likewise the phenomenon of young women partying in their 20's and being promiscuous and only considering themselves ready in their 30's and 40's have already pretty much lost 10+ of their prime years already and have ruined their ability to bond to their future husband by the time they consider themselves ready.


I would prefer Godly older women to keep younger women from this waste of life. But this appears to be the regular script in our current West.

I think the issue is more complicated than just having older women talking to them. Aren't the men also partying in their 20's and being promiscuous? Where are these young women going to find men who are serious about a relationship and who don't just want to have fun with them?

 

[TMarie]

I know what you mean (in reference to your last few posts) regarding “fat-shaming.” I definitely do not condone kicking a dog when it’s down and would never support that. There definitely is a difference between rightful “tough love” and just being a jerk. And I think that’s where nuance really becomes important because each individual is different and, just as importantly, our relationships with each person we know are different.

That being said, the term “fat shaming” has really become such a loaded term with the Fat Acceptance and Body Positivity movements so that any criticism over a person’s weight is met with immediate backlash. No one is allowed to talk about it… And then, even worse, obese is projected as “normal” all over the media.

On a side note, no one has a problem pointing out if someone is drinking alcohol to excess... but pointing out that someone is eating to excess is “fat shaming”? Where is the difference really?

The difference is in the word "shaming". People don't need to humiliate someone to get their point across to them.
Here is the definition of shaming.
ADJECTIVE
causing feelings of shame
NOUN
the act or activity of subjecting someone to shame, disgrace, humiliation, or disrepute especially by public exposure or criticism.

 

[Artificial Consensus]

^^ Women shame men all the time. What's the problem with a man or a family member or another woman, shaming a female for being fat.

 

[TMarie]

^^ Women shame men all the time. What's the problem with a man or a family member or another woman, shaming a female for being fat.

I don't get the logic here. Does it make men feel better if a man can shame a fat woman because they were shamed?

 

[Starlight]

Does it make men feel better if a man can shame a fat woman because they were shamed?

Log off and go to sleep.

 

[Artificial Consensus]

What I'm saying is that if females use shaming all the time, what's the problem with a man shaming a woman because she's fat and it's a huge health risk.

 

[TMarie]

Log off and go to sleep.

Good advice!

 

[infowarrior1]

And in culture we often fail to see the discouragement of responsibility of men. They are told to go out and party and have fun etc. while they are young. That is the message that is being sent out to them today. It is not good advice. They should be looking for a future bride while they are young and before their innocence is destroyed with the harsh reality that comes with a promiscuous life. They often end up disappointed, disgusted and regretful.

I think the issue is more complicated than just having older women talking to them. Aren't the men also partying in their 20's and being promiscuous? Where are these young women going to find men who are serious about a relationship and who don't just want to have fun with them?

Jordan Peterson is telling men to clean their rooms and take responsibility. So are countless Pastors doing what is similar.

Articles which although slanderous does something similar.

"Men need to step up" is the constant refrain.

I don't see too much of the converse except in rarer instances. The counter to the secular culture isnt as strong in certain departments.

Again what you say is true. But there is a huge percentage of male virgins not participating in said scene up to 30%. If you do the research.

 

[TMarie]

Jordan Peterson is telling men to clean their rooms and take responsibility. So are countless Pastors doing what is similar.

Articles which although slanderous does something similar.

"Men need to step up" is the constant refrain.

I don't see too much of the converse except in rarer instances. The counter to the secular culture isnt as strong in certain departments.

Again what you say is true. But there is a huge percentage of male virgins not participating in said scene up to 30%. If you do the research.

Very Interesting. Here is what I found. It is from 2011. I could not find anything more recent. " No less than 27 percent of 15- to 24-year-old men have never had any form of sexual contact up from 22 percent in 2002. Meanwhile, 29 percent of females in that age bracket have never had sex, also up from 22 percent at the time of the last study". https://www.livescience.com/13072-sex-stats-virgins-rise.html

 

[Tex Cruise]

Very Interesting. Here is what I found. It is from 2011. I could not find anything more recent. " No less than 27 percent of 15- to 24-year-old men have never had any form of sexual contact up from 22 percent in 2002. Meanwhile, 29 percent of females in that age bracket have never had sex, also up from 22 percent at the time of the last study". https://www.livescience.com/13072-sex-stats-virgins-rise.html

29% of 15- to- 24-year-old females are under 18, and never lie...

 

[traelo]

29% of 15- to- 24-year-old females are under 18, and neverlie...

Why do women lie more than men? Because we’re ‘nicer’ | Anouchka Grose

Soothing untruths show human socialisation at its most crafty and sophisticated – no wonder women are so good at them

www.theguardian.com

Guess What Men and Women are STILL Lying About

The old notion that men multiply their number of past sexual partners by three to seem like they've gotten more action while women divide by three to seem like they've gotten less is nothing new, so it's unsurprising that research confirms that both sexes really are lying. Remember that whole...

www.glamour.com

Most Young Adults: Oral Sex Is Not Sex

Most young adults agree penile-vaginal intercourse is sex, but less than one in five think that oral-genital contact counts as “having sex,” according to 2007 survey of undergraduate college students.

www.webmd.com

The survey involved 477 undergraduate students, mostly white heterosexual females, enrolled in a human sexuality class. The majority (98%) of participants was age 24 or younger; the average age was 20.7 years.

The participants answered the following question:

“Would you say you ‘had sex’ with someone if the most intimate behavior you engaged in was ...”

• Penile-vaginal intercourse?
• Penile-anal intercourse?
• Oral contact with partner’s genitals?
• Partner’s oral contact with your genitals?
• Partner touches your genitals?
• You touch partner’s genitals?
• Oral contact with partner’s breasts/nipples?
• You touch partner’s breasts/nipples?
• Deep kissing?
• Partner’s oral contact with your breasts/nipples?
• Partner touches your breasts/nipples?

Among the survey’s notable findings:

• Only 20% of those surveyed said oral contact with their partner’s genitals would constitute sex.
• Almost 80% of participants considered penile-anal intercourse as sex.