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The Psychology Of Complaining
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<blockquote data-quote="Philonous" data-source="post: 1501079" data-attributes="member: 22043"><p>So, you thought you married a diamond, but instead she turned out to be a bit more like the lump of coal that has yet to be made a diamond. Perhaps she will be made such, but it may take all your future years of marriage to achieve it—and even then she might not be the perfect counterpart to your soul, or the one truly meriting St. Chrysostom’s “eternal marriage in heaven”.</p><p></p><p>Divorce her?</p><p></p><p>Do that and you’ll dispirit the whole earthly community that stood by and supported your marriage. You’ll leave your wife with a permanent psychological mar, and if you already have children, then you’ll psychologically warp them, too.</p><p></p><p>And so you start to see the loving wife and children are all a reflection—however imperfectly—of the more perfect family you’ll have in heaven. Accept them as being that much, then rely on the Paraclete for your own comfort. You’re here to serve God in this world, just as Christ did.</p><p></p><p>In contrast, this world doesn’t owe you a thing.</p><p></p><p>And what’s the alternative?</p><p></p><p>The alternative is you mope around as a man with a weak character, one easily beset with his own sorrows—cries tears for his own agonies before and beyond anyone else’s. Fails to contain himself, to subdue himself—a “girly man” in the truest sense. If he has any sons they lose all respect for him, as now they have to fulfill the role of the family’s male leader—do so at the expense of what would otherwise be their own childhood and/or young adulthood.</p><p></p><p>There was a time when America taught husbands and fathers to honor such ideals. That time has passed, and we have completely lost our country. Yet the above model doesn’t change. It is reality.</p><p></p><p>[MEDIA=youtube]DHEMOYHBBWk[/MEDIA]</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Philonous, post: 1501079, member: 22043"] So, you thought you married a diamond, but instead she turned out to be a bit more like the lump of coal that has yet to be made a diamond. Perhaps she will be made such, but it may take all your future years of marriage to achieve it—and even then she might not be the perfect counterpart to your soul, or the one truly meriting St. Chrysostom’s “eternal marriage in heaven”. Divorce her? Do that and you’ll dispirit the whole earthly community that stood by and supported your marriage. You’ll leave your wife with a permanent psychological mar, and if you already have children, then you’ll psychologically warp them, too. And so you start to see the loving wife and children are all a reflection—however imperfectly—of the more perfect family you’ll have in heaven. Accept them as being that much, then rely on the Paraclete for your own comfort. You’re here to serve God in this world, just as Christ did. In contrast, this world doesn’t owe you a thing. And what’s the alternative? The alternative is you mope around as a man with a weak character, one easily beset with his own sorrows—cries tears for his own agonies before and beyond anyone else’s. Fails to contain himself, to subdue himself—a “girly man” in the truest sense. If he has any sons they lose all respect for him, as now they have to fulfill the role of the family’s male leader—do so at the expense of what would otherwise be their own childhood and/or young adulthood. There was a time when America taught husbands and fathers to honor such ideals. That time has passed, and we have completely lost our country. Yet the above model doesn’t change. It is reality. [MEDIA=youtube]DHEMOYHBBWk[/MEDIA] [/QUOTE]
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