5 Reasons Why You Should Never Experiment With Casual Sex

SingularityOne

Woodpecker
Orthodox
Game fakes certain genuinely appealing characteristics in order to short circuit the mate seeking "algorithms" in many women's heads. Promiscuous women are more happily faked out because they too are looking for a sexual fix, though only with a good enough man to give them the validation fix they are desiring as well.

Proverbs 7:10-15
10 And there a woman met him,
With the attire of a harlot, and a crafty heart.
11 She was loud and rebellious,
Her feet would not stay at home.
12 At times she was outside, at times in the open square,
Lurking at every corner.
13 So she caught him and kissed him;
With an [c]impudent face she said to him:
14 “I have peace offerings with me;
Today I have paid my vows.
15 So I came out to meet you,
Diligently to seek your face,
And I have found you.

The Bible clearly depicts this harlot as seeking out some man, any man almost, but when she meets the foolish man, she acts as if it was just exactly him that she had been looking for.

Anyway, women looking for men to marry will not be so easily fooled by Game, but they are looking for many of the same attributes that Game fakes.

They want a confident man who can manage difficult situations (S*** Tests from Harlots, Genuine Tests from Virtuous Women).
They want an entertaining man who is interesting and is also interested in their lives.
They want a man who doesn't put them on a pedestal, but instead, that they can imagine FOLLOWING for the rest of their life.
Since they want to FOLLOW a man, he better be able to take the initiative and lead in all sorts of situations.

Make eye contact and start a conversation in an interesting way. But, make your goal finding out about her and her life and not finding a way into her pants.

Smirks still work on all women it seems. Practice one just to have it in your back pocket. You don't have to use it to hit on a girl, you might just use it as a conversation piece or to make yourself more interesting with random everyday women. (Note: Smirks are not as useful with men and could get you punched if employed incorrectly).

Now, all of the physical aspects of Game are still empirically true, and so, if you want a solid foundation for your relationship that will last, you'll avoid as much of the physical tricks and traps as you possibly can. Don't make excuses to touch them, don't "escalate," don't do things that married couples do before you're married to her (kissing, etc.). None of that! You'll just short circuit both your brains, and believe me, you need all of both your brains working at full capacity to prayerfully figure out if you're compatible and will form a Godly union.

Demonstrate this not just by your actions, but also by your words and questions that you ask.

Interactions with Christian women can be much more open and honest. You don't have anything to hide in the sense of ulterior motives. Though, unwind your own story slowly and interestingly to give yourself the best chance to be appealing to them. I mean come on, Jesus was a master storyteller. He also had a bunch of chicks that followed Him around and took care of His needs (Godly, Holy needs obviously).
All of this makes sense.

How do s*** tests and genuine tests differ?

What do you mean that you can be more open and honest?
 

Kadikoy

 
Banned
Orthodox
If only you would tackle male culture as much as you tackle feminism... We would be living in a completely different world! Roosh has apparently changed, but his audience not so much. As much as I hate feminism, it isn't exactly it's fault that secular men are whores. This has been the case since before feminism or even the 70s sexual revolution. The first Playboy edition was lauched in the early 50s, a time where double standards were still very strong, most women were still highly expected to be virgins while promiscuity among men was not only accepted but even encouraged. Promiscuous men are not whores or whoremongers anymore but "womanizers", "chads", etc. It is ridiculous to blame women for secular men being whores. Porn was created by and for men. Men make up 70% of porn consumers. Depravity and promiscuity are rampant, encouraged and deeply rooted in male culture much more than they are in female culture. Promiscuity among women is only recently starting to become accepted. I've come across statistics that show that men apparently also cheat on at higher rates than women. The double standards when it comes to promiscuity is not only pathetic but also useless. You're never gonna have a christian society or traditional women as long as promiscuity among men is accepted, because it is an inevitable outcome that a time will come where rates of promiscuity are also gonna increase among women in such society
Women make up 95% (?) of non-visual porn addicts, aka romance novels, Fifty Shades of Grey, etc. What was that about being 'fair' to women whilst you unfairly bash men? Women get aroused by and addicted to different things than men and have their own very destructive addictions, some of which can be hidden behind the cover of a book or are 'acceptable' to modern society. Nice rant, but wholly unbalanced.
 

Thomas More

Crow
Protestant
I would say that some lessons of game are true. How could it be otherwise? Should you use game to rack up notches? No. This has drawbacks that have been obvious throughout history, to all cultures, not just Christianity.

However, can every man benefit from knowing how to use Agree and Amplify, and can every man benefit from an understanding of the concept of a sh*t test? The answer to both of these questions is yes. Some men find these two things trivially obvious from the start, and dismiss them. God bless these men, or I could say, God has blessed these men. Some don't see or understand these things, and could benefit greatly from this knowledge.

How many Godly men suffer all their lives, and could have used this knowledge? Seeking after Godliness does not guarantee that men will always apply common sense to life's problems.

Likewise, a lot of men make mistakes in the way they handle their finances, and a lot of men make mistakes in the areas of diet and fitness. Men who understand these things should help their fellow men understand them. I would add knowledge of wise career development to the list of key topics. Learned wisdom in these areas of finding and keeping wives, finances, career, and fitness should be cultivated and taught. Not all men absorb this knowledge instinctively growing up, or are taught these things by fathers or mentors.

Obviously, these are all in addition to the primary issue of how to seek God, and how to live a righteous life. However, the fact that God comes first does not mean these other issues should be aggressively and purposely ignored.

To be explicitly clear, I do not advocate casual sex. However, I am against dismissing and condemning all of the basic concepts of male-female relations that have been worked out by the red pill community in recent years. This knowledge can certainly be applied successfully and usefully by Christians while maintaining an uncompromising observance of God's commandments. This is true for successful male-female relationships just as much as it is true for other basic life lessons.
 

lizziedan

Chicken
Woman
Catholic
Hi Roosh, you should check out Sy Roger's work on sexual healing. I heard his talk in Dublin in the 90s, pre-internet days Such a powerhouse of encouragement and practicality. I pray For you a lot.
 
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Kadikoy

 
Banned
Orthodox
Timely article for me, unfortunately.
Despite being a big follower of Roosh via Babylon Road, American Pilgram, and articles / streams, and cleaning up my life personally; I still recently lost myself via the sin of premarital sex.

I have since repented of this sin though private confession with my Priest. However, rooshv article is spot-on in that the negative affects linger & last after repentance.

Why did this happen? Imo, probably a lack of Faith. Since confession, I have doubled my prayers, sought guidance from my Priest, & removed the negative influences from my life.

I wish I could have just listened to Roosh’s advice on this before, but I seem to always have to try things on my own . It seems that I need to learn how to date from a Christian perspective. I need to be a MAN and set boundaries from the start, that I will not entertain sex before marriage. If the woman I date are opposed to that, they aren’t the right one anyways. Please include me in your prayers Kings / Queen
May I suggest ditching all notions of 'dating'? Perhaps replace the word 'dating' with 'courtship.' Or with 'waiting and praying.' 'Dating' is a wholly un-Christian and secular phenomenon. It traps are so varied and multitudinous as to be astounding. The Bible clearly states that parents are to find spouses for their children. It does not say go look for a spouse on your own. This is supposed to happen within the Church community or very close to it. Approval from elders and pious people living out the faith that know you and your struggles well, from one's priest, etc. Baby steps. No rush.
 

get2choppaaa

Hummingbird
Orthodox
No, I'm agreeing with you. People experience grace and sin differently. For example, there are gays and heterosexuals with a heavy sex drive, and there are asexuals who do not desire sex. It is obviously easier for an asexual to remain single and celibate.

I discussed chastity with a nun, who explained that nuns or not supposed to have deep friendships that displace their devotion to God. It makes me think about men who purchase sex. This is bad in every religion, and even among atheists. But I wonder how much worse this can be than wasting your whole life chasing transient relationships in a Sisyphean cycle. Ironically, a monogamous gay marriage might be less spiritually distracting than a hedonistic PUA lifestyle.

Groucho once offered show tickets to a priest. But the priest declined, saying that he was having dinner with his mother. Groucho said "I thought you guys weren't allowed to have mothers!"


So habitual homosexual fornication (embracing a continued lifestyle without repentance) might be less damaging than heterosexual causal fornication?

That's a new one to me. We are more than mere beasts, but homosexual lifestyle elevates pursuit of carnal passions to a new level since there is no matriculation of that relationship other than sexual acts.

My understanding is that the only sin not able to be forgiven is the one not repented for.

For myself:
I can say that I wish I had waited longer than I did and took my faith vows as seriously as I was raised to. I am sure compared to some on the forum my history isn't that voluminous... But I had a period before meeting my current wife where I was living a pretty sinful lifestyle. No doubt casual sex conditions you to look at women in an objectified manner. Even now, being married and having a wonderful wife who is very attractive, I still recognize there are times when that way of thinking pops in my head and I have to tune it out.

While my wife now knew I wasn't s saint when we were dating... I was pretty embarrassed when I told her about the life I led before meeting her after getting divorced from my first wife. I kept finding myself with really broken and lost women, who were not helping me go down the path toward salvation. Society tells you it's cool to brag about your notch count... But in reality that notch count could really damage your view of women while also pushing the quality women away once you've been truthful with them.

As the article points out, there are times where flashbacks to previous encounters occur and I feel guilty about those things for my wife now, who does not deserve that. Also, the more failed bonding experiences you have the worse you view the other sex. I understand why women think so poorly of men and men so poorly of women. While men are more able to overcome this then women... It still affects your outlook. Trust is one of the hardest things to repair, and when you view women like untrustworthy whores, it's not likely that you're going to be attracting quality people.

I'm quite lucky my situation worked out, and I think it was only because we were introduced by family (which i think is how it ideally should be) and both came to The Church together and made it the center of our relationship that it has worked out.
 
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infowarrior1

Crow
Protestant
If only you would tackle male culture as much as you tackle feminism... We would be living in a completely different world! Roosh has apparently changed, but his audience not so much. As much as I hate feminism, it isn't exactly it's fault that secular men are whores. This has been the case since before feminism or even the 70s sexual revolution. The first Playboy edition was lauched in the early 50s, a time where double standards were still very strong, most women were still highly expected to be virgins while promiscuity among men was not only accepted but even encouraged. Promiscuous men are not whores or whoremongers anymore but "womanizers", "chads", etc. It is ridiculous to blame women for secular men being whores. Porn was created by and for men. Men make up 70% of porn consumers.

Men are shamed for being virgins. That not fornicating makes them "losers".
 

Lawrence87

Kingfisher
Orthodox
Men are shamed for being virgins. That not fornicating makes them "losers".
I think it's important to change this rhetoric. We need to turn it around so that folks who make their entire existence around getting sex and cannot go for a day without touching their weiner too much are the losers, because really that's how it is.

A man who can withstand the tide of the culture and refrain from fornication is a stronger man than any I know. They should be lauded as cultural heroes (assuming they do it for the right reasons, and don't have the mindset of a sex-obsessed loser like an incel)
 

infowarrior1

Crow
Protestant
A man who can withstand the tide of the culture and refrain from fornication is a stronger man than any I know. They should be lauded as cultural heroes (assuming they do it for the right reasons, and don't have the mindset of a sex-obsessed loser like an incel)

The other side of the culture of fornication. The increasing numbers of Men like this who stew in their self-pity, depression and envy and reinforce this with each other.

Gatherings like PUAhate are truly demon haunted places. Only Christ can save them and realign their values away from the degenerate world that Satan has perpetuated and promoted.
 

Lawrence87

Kingfisher
Orthodox
The other side of the culture of fornication. The increasing numbers of Men like this who stew in their self-pity, depression and envy and reinforce this with each other.

Gatherings like PUAhate are truly demon haunted places. Only Christ can save them and realign their values away from the degenerate world that Satan has perpetuated and promoted.

In some regard I feel sorry for incels, because they have truly fallen for the idea that having a sexual relationship is all that is to be desired in this world, and they are enraged that they cannot attain it. But it's like, just stop focusing on that, there's more to life than getting your end away, and more often than not it creates more trouble than its worth (definitely true in the context of a secular relationship). If they devoted all the energy that they spend whining about women and spent it instead on prayer, going to church, working out, stopping porn, and realizing their individual potential as men, rather than making their entire existence about women, they would be a lot better off, not only in regard to finding a good woman, but also in regard to just being happy without one.

Our culture is so sex focused it's unreal.
 

Ah_Tibor

Pelican
Woman
Orthodox
I think the sweet spot for getting married is mid-to-late 20s. An old guy once gave me some unsolicited advice that the older you get, the harder it is to merge lives-- not necessarily because of any particular faults but people get set in their ways by their 30s. We get used to our habits and routines, and it's much easier to create those routines with somebody than trying to force them together, which leads to conflict.

There's an old movie (I think it's based on a short story or novel) called "The Enchanted Cottage" where there's a disfigured WWI vet whose fiance leaves him, and he gets together with a plain/homely girl as a marriage of convenience. The cottage transforms them into beautiful people-- but, plot twist (surprise!), it's their love that transforms them, not the cottage.

 

ItsK

Pigeon
Woman
Catholic
The greatest and highest pleasure you can experience in life is to worship God with all your heart, all your soul and all your might. There is really nothing that can compare to the ecstasy of worshipping God together with the all saints and the angels in heaven. That is your true purpose in life, and you'll never feel more fulfillment doing anything else.
 

gent

Sparrow
Catholic
The greatest and highest pleasure you can experience in life is to worship God with all your heart, all your soul and all your might. There is really nothing that can compare to the ecstasy of worshipping God together with the all saints and the angels in heaven. That is your true purpose in life, and you'll never feel more fulfillment doing anything else.
Amen. Yet for some reason I can find it so hard to just stand and pray for 5 minutes.
 

DeusLuxMeaEst

Pelican
Orthodox Catechumen
Gold Member
I think the sweet spot for getting married is mid-to-late 20s. An old guy once gave me some unsolicited advice that the older you get, the harder it is to merge lives-- not necessarily because of any particular faults but people get set in their ways by their 30s. We get used to our habits and routines, and it's much easier to create those routines with somebody than trying to force them together, which leads to conflict.

There's an old movie (I think it's based on a short story or novel) called "The Enchanted Cottage" where there's a disfigured WWI vet whose fiance leaves him, and he gets together with a plain/homely girl as a marriage of convenience. The cottage transforms them into beautiful people-- but, plot twist (surprise!), it's their love that transforms them, not the cottage.


I completely agree. I've detailed these problems in other posts. I believe it will be harder and harder to merge lives with a woman and get married now.

If I could go back in time I'd remain a virgin, pray, go to church constantly, and marry a woman in my church, but it wasn't meant to be.

This information is important to get to the masses because most men think sex is no big deal. Once you go down the game and fornication path, the inevitable result is deep depression.

I find it difficult to explain it in words...when I see I a happy couple in church with their children it makes me feel like an utter and complete failure in the family departnent. I sometimes have to hold back tears. Real talk.

All the hookups and fornication are a giant scar on my soul.
 

Ah_Tibor

Pelican
Woman
Orthodox
I completely agree. I've detailed these problems in other posts. I believe it will be harder and harder to merge lives with a woman and get married now.

If I could go back in time I'd remain a virgin, pray, go to church constantly, and marry a woman in my church, but it wasn't meant to be.

I don't think it's impossible, though; practical advice is general, not cut-and-dry. Anything worth doing means you're going to make a lot of mistakes.

Young people getting married often have a lot of issues, too.
 

Going strong

Crow
Orthodox Inquirer
Gold Member
Look at me as an example. What percentage of female Orthodox virgins with a proper upbringing would select me as a husband? Would their fathers allow me to marry their daughters? If I had a pure daughter, and she brings home a middle-aged man who went on a decades-long sex bender around the world, I would chain her up in the basement until she changed her mind, because while that man is a Christian now, I do not want to be anxious that he will simply go back to his old ways and harm my lovely daughter.

So, being an intelligent, truth-seeking and perceptive man, you very well realize what is quoted above. And I think it might be a quite big problem for your immediate future.

Because, not only will it be difficult for you, as you've said on this thread (and in another thread, where I remember you saying, "I might have to prepare to, gulp, full monk life with no wife"), to find a good pure Orthodox woman, but, if you do, your conscience will nag at you, saying "am I destroying/lowering this woman's options, and shouldn't her father keep her away from me?".

Big problem, as your conscience might make you sacrifice yourself, your happiness, in order to (apparently) protect the likely happiness of a (younger, less damaged) good pure Orthodox woman interested in you.

All this, and certainly you know it, means that you have low chances in your quest for happiness through marriage, in the US. Your age and past history are big hurdles.

In Eastern Europe, now : I know well the personality of good Orthodox women of EE, and, your odds at success would be a bit higher but not very good either. For the same reasons, maybe also for monetary relative constraints.

So, that's why you should keep your mind open to, at some point in the next years, travelling (even if you're tired of it) abroad, to Latin America or Asia. There, you'd have a good chance at finding a good faithful pure Christian woman (Catholic, probably, but she'd convert to Orthodoxy quite certainly, under your guidance).

I was in a situation quite comparable to yours, regarding age and "PUA"past, and I have found a good, faithful, God-fearing, intelligent Christian wife, in Latin America. In Europe it was a desperate quest.

So, well, if I might give you an advice it's, do Not despair, don't think it's over because of your age and past. In some Christian countries of the world, you can still find good pure Christian women, whose fathers would absolutely approve of you.
 

stugatz

Pelican
Catholic
This is a brilliant article, mainly because I was a fornicator in college - had a very unusual high school period where I moved often, and as a result had few friends and (as a result) no sexual experience before starting college.

I became addicted to dating, women, game, etc. because I felt the need to "make up for lost time". My logic was, "I'm going to become a ladies' man who has his pick, THEN calm down and settle with one woman for the rest of my life when I know I've gotten a good choice. I don't want to just be with someone who's 'fine', I want the cream of the crop because I'd better have a good reason to be monogamous." I was so obsessed with this, it was to the detriment of just about everything else in my life - all of my passions and hobbies were abandoned to chase women, and I was a mediocre student at best during this stage. Mediocre worker, too, with all the jobs I had during that period.

It poisoned my mind for the better part of my twenties, and I've been celibate for about seven years now. I'm afraid to start dating again when I'm ready, though - I'm afraid that I might fall into my old habits again. I'm also ashamed of how I used to be, and don't want some poor woman who behaved herself to get stuck with a tainted individual like me. (I'm most ashamed of the fact that I had a virulent hatred for women in this stage of my life, and viewed them as adversaries to be bested, like relationships were a game of Chess or Go.)

I've actually jokingly told people that if I don't get this figured out by 40, I'm just gonna give up and become a monk. However, "romance and dating was a bust for me, so this was my backup option!" is likely not going to be seen as a good reason for that life.

If I end up being a lifelong bachelor, that might end up being my penance for an ill-spent young adulthood.
 
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PhatEarf

Sparrow
Protestant
I engaged in casual sex for 20 years, and wasn't very successful at it, imo, and always wanted a hotter woman, a better lay. Eventually the hottest woman I was with said I had to marry her or move on because she wanted children. I was wary of marriage, and it was a contract with the State, not a religious ceremony, but I did it anyway because I enjoyed the sex and having kids sounded cool, too. I wasn't in to race realism or saving the White race or anything like that at the time. Well, guess what, I repented and returned to the Lord, and this was too much for my atheist bride which led to our divorce. Now she has forcibly vaccinated my oldest child, and will likely do the same to the youngest. If you don't think your children can suffer from your original sins, think again.
 
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