A story of a divorced man who lives with his wife and children

squiggly

Sparrow
I met a guy the other day, through another friend, and we were having a chat over beer.

He was telling me how he got divorced a couple of years ago, but his wife had moved back in to his house with the kids. Apparently she was struggling to live alone, presumably to afford rent or whatnot.

That got me thinking. This is a man, who claims to be divorced, yet is living with the mother of his children, with the children, as parents to said children, under the same roof.

And that got me thinking - that's one hell of a thing.
 

kel

Pelican
I didn't know this until my teens, but growing up my neighbors had been divorced for a while, but they still lived together while their kids were dependents.

Once the kids were gone, the woman moved elsewhere and the dude stayed there and we started seeing his new girlfriend or whatever. Tbh I admired them in retrospect. Stay together for the kids style. Kids needs stability and both their parents every single day, they recognized that and put themselves aside to provide that for the kids.
 

Rob Banks

Pelican
A foo for letting her back into the house. The children of course, should have been allowed home when necessary. This will end the second time the way it ended the first.
Yeah, what an utter fool this man is for trying to unite his wife and kids under his roof. Now, his marriage and family might (gasp) come together again. What a mistake that would be!
[/sarcasm]
 

!!!???!!!

Sparrow
valid point
Stop and think about why she moved back in, presumably because she cannot afford rent. Not because presumably, she wishes to reunite her family, or that she regrets getting a divorce, or that she simply misses have a companion, but because rent is too expensive. Once again, this is only presumable. But motivation matters, how much can this guy really do to reunite his family? Why will he be ore successful in reuniting it than he was in the first place when it came to keeping things together. Seems dangerous!
 

Rob Banks

Pelican
↑ Because you somehow have telepathic knowledge of what this man and woman are feeling in their hearts and what their motivations are...

Furthermore, even if this woman did have ulterior motivations for moving back in, would it be wrong for this man to use that to his advantage in order to try and get his family back together?
 

!!!???!!!

Sparrow
I don't have telepathic knowledge, but OP did mention her motivation is not being able to pay rent, he says it in the first post and all we really have to go on is OP.

It wouldn't be wrong for the ex husband to try and get his family back together, I don't think I said that, but it is a pretty crazy gamble.
 

Rob Banks

Pelican
↑ Just because she says she can't afford rent doesn't necessarily mean she doesn't also want to spend time with him. It could be that she is (consciously or subconsciously) considering reuniting with him but she doesn't want to come out and say it because she isn't sure yet, so she wants to maintain plausible deniability.

I'm speaking from personal experience when it comes to this.

In any case, I don't think you can fault the man for trying to reunite his family, even if it ultimately fails (unless there are obvious signs that it won't work, such as the wife openly dating some other guy, which doesn't seem to be the case here).
 

!!!???!!!

Sparrow
I can really only go off the info that OP gives us, and he really only mentions $$$...And if she isn't sure about re uniting yet, I imagine that doesn't bode well for their chances.

I don't fault the guy, I just don't think it will work. Can a leopard change its spots? We will find out I suppose.
 

squiggly

Sparrow
My understanding is she was struggling to live alone due to $$$ (lack of), obviously they had some contact due to children, and at some point she asked if she could move in "for a while", but it seemed that while turned into a ongoing arrangement. I didn't ask if they had resumed intimacy, but he still referred to her as his ex wife that he divorced. But was now living with him with their children.

I don't know what happened to them, it was a while ago...but I just thought...what must it be like to live with the mother of your children, with your children, raising them together under the same roof, but still say you are not a husband and wife.

He was putting a brave face on it....say how he didn't might to help her out in a time of need....but I could tell he was hiding some deeper feelings about it.
 

!!!???!!!

Sparrow
Thats a big issue. If he was truly over her, over the relationship, and felt the need to help the mother of his children out of empathy then what he did was admirable, if maybe a bit foolish. If he was hoping to make some sort of covert contract with her (intimacy/affection in exchange for security/provisioning) then well....everyone on this forum knows how betas are treated.

I am also concerned about the sort of example he sets for his children in this regard. What will his sons learn about what to expect from women? What will his daughters learn about how to treat men and what sort of men to look for?
 

Cristiano

Newbie
I wanted to put things into positive perspective but I'm not allowed to post pictures.

So, let's say I follow that guy mentioned in OP on social media.

He's got money sorted. When his ex wife and kids first moved in, he was too self involved in learning how to play the piano. And recently, he was seen playing chess with one of his sons.(edit: forgot the lousy s)

He likes to consider himself a man on a mission.

Thank you,
God bless.
 
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