Actions you can undertake to make your wife respect you

A little about me. I am currently in the UK waiting for my wife’s visa to clear so she can join me here. I feel though I have been unfortunate lately. I lost my job, essentially due to this Coronavirus outbreak. The day after, I got harassed repeatedly by a group of youths in a car whilst she was on the phone to me. I was yelling at them and very aggressive to them, but couldn't get close to the car and would have got run over if I had tried.

Although she would never say it, I feel like things like this can cause a woman to lose respect for a man. If a boss only makes one man, out of a 4 man team, redundant that is disrespecting him. If a group of youths see a man walking alone and feel the need to shout and throw things at him (albeit with such poor aim they do not even hit their intended target) that is disrespecting him. If these 2 entities disrespect this man why should his wife respect him?

Can someone offer any insight into this situation?
 
If you can get back on the job market quickly I see no reason why you couldn't keep her respect in the long run. It seems that she i s moving to the UK with you so she will be dependent on your guidance for a certain period at least.

Do you have a reason to suspect that she is disrespecting you? If she sees that you know what you are doing and what your goals are, she will probably always want to stay around you and follow your lead.
 
I am searching new jobs everyday. This Coronavirus situation means that very few companies are actively hiring at the moment. But yes she can see that I am trying my utmost to apply with different companies, recruiters etc. Doing the online tests etc.

Everyone is going to pieces at the moment and even before all this, my paranoia levels were going up and up. My old boss was an angry, paranoid mess. So working in that environment was not good for my mental state.

I haven’t noticed anything really serious with her yet though. She seems to say “I love you” less and make fun of me more. Is that a sign?
 
Were you the last to arrive at your team? That might explain why they let you go first. Last come, first go. That's how it usually works.

Anyway, you mention paranoia. That might be the problem and not her.
 
Now I am really unsure what to do with what I just discovered. My wife gave me access to her Yahoo email a while ago. I sent her something and wanted to check for it in her Inbox so I logged in. I noticed something in the Trash folder. It’s a message from TransferWise that the equivalent of about $150 (in her currency) is to be deposited in her account tomorrow and the name of who it is from is a random man. A name she has never mentioned before.

I don’t know what to think…
 

Papaya

Crow
Gold Member
Is there only the one transaction via TW that you can see?

Have you googled / searched the man's name ?

Are you currently sending her money?
 
Yes only 1 that I can see from him.

The name as it appears on the email ends in Jr. (i.e. Junior) When I search for the name like "XXXX XXXXXXXX Jr." it gives 1 result on Facebook of a bald guy who looks about 50. I am 28 and she is 24.

Yes I have been sending her money. It was a requirement for the UK visa.
 

Papaya

Crow
Gold Member
Unkown_Killa said:
Yes only 1 that I can see from him.

The name as it appears on the email ends in Jr. (i.e. Junior) When I search for the name like "XXXX XXXXXXXX Jr." it gives 1 result on Facebook of a bald guy who looks about 50. I am 28 and she is 24.

Yes I have been sending her money. It was a requirement for the UK visa.
Are there any more incoming payments via any other platforms?

How did you meet her?

How long ago?

Im starting to sense theres more to this story that you havent shared. If youre going to come here and ask for help you should be more forthecoming with the relevant facts. Its an anonymous forum so as long as you dont give personal details no one will know... or care. But be prepared for some harsh truth
 

Papaya

Crow
Gold Member
As far as your OP. Yes a woman can and will lose respect for a man if her perception of him is degraded. But way more impact-full to how she sees you than a bunch of punks yelling at you or even the loss of a job is how you see yourself.

Those other things are transitory externals. They can and will change. But your inner dialogue is at the core of who you are as a man and a woman responds to that on an instinctual level.

You need to stop being "fear" (negative) driven and focus on being a "desire" (positive) driven man.

In other words focus on what you want rather than what you dont want. This is applicable to ALL aspects of life be they, financial, spiritual, emotional, etc.

Nothing is more compelling to a woman than a man who knows what he wants and is boldly going after it. She wants a man that leads the way so she can follow
 

Papaya

Crow
Gold Member
How much time have you actually spent together physically?

Do you have previous experience with Filipino culture?
 
In total about 3 months together physically.

Yes I took my first trip there about 6 months before meeting her. That was basically just a quantity mission though. I decided after that trip that I actually wanted to have a meaningful relationship with one.
 

Papaya

Crow
Gold Member
Im not one to over react and be led by cynicism but I can see your reason for concern.

You really dont know her very well and it would seem you jumped into this situation rather quickly

I think Id contact the bloke that sent her the money and see if he'll tell you the nature of the transaction. (Ideally without disclosing "Im her husband")

No use confronting her since if she was up to no good then you wont get an honest answer anyway
 

Brodiaga

Ostrich
Gold Member
Your wife will not respect you if you don't respect yourself.

Losing a job in the middle of the current coronavirus crisis is not a good reason to lose self respect. Neither is being attacked by some scum in a country where you can't even carry a weapon to defend yourself.

If I tried to marry and a girl from FilipinoCupid and bring her to a Western country where my position in marriage is weak by law, I would do my due diligence first. It would probably include things like trying to seduce her using a fake profile and looking at her email and chat history.

I met a girl on FC a few years ago and was considering getting serious with her. One thing that stopped me was her facebook profile full of glamorous attention whoring pics and a thousand followers and "admirers". She was very careful and kept a clean public profile (just her pics alone, no guys, no excessive nudity, nothing vulgar etc) but still, better be safe than sorry.
 
Thank you for your help guys. I appreciate assistance from the senior members of this forum.

PapayaTapper said:
I think Id contact the bloke that sent her the money and see if he'll tell you the nature of the transaction.
I am unsure how I would even approach him about it to be honest? Like what kind of thing I could write to him as an initial message?
 
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