I was diagnosed four years ago, I knew I had Adhd ( an inability to sit still ).
I'm on 60mgs right now and want to say something that I think is important.
Adderall and other consciousness influencing drugs can help you realize that 'consciousness' is chemical. This can be a great thing, because it can mean that the 'hell' you are going through for no apparent reason, is a brain chemistry issue.
Take any street you've walked down at least fifty times and are very familiar with. You probably have a set of feelings and thoughts associated with it.
Now take adderall, note the interpretation of the same street. It will be different.
Or, take LSD, the interpretation of the street will be extremely different.
Same street, different experience of it due to a difference in brain chemistry.
I would recommend Adderall to people who have been depressed if only to show them that their brains are in fact, capable, of much better functioning, and to show them that there is another world other than the one they are sadly stuck in. It can crack the bubble for a few hours.
When I was on LSD 30 yrs ago, my body felt like a meat jacket, it was clear to me that I was a spirit inhabiting this body thing, I also felt love, pure love, and joy. It was incredible, however, this is like putting a turbo-charger on a car and pushing the engine to 12000 rpms, it will burnout, similarly if you take too much LSD you will fry your circuits, we are just not designed for this kind of constant elevated experience. We must come down.
When we come down we are 'down to earth' again and need to operate in this dimension with its relative parameters. We have an 'ego' or personality to interface with the world. That's it function, to interface with the material world.
I have been thinking lately about my drop-off of interest in women and sex. I'm 50 something so this is normal apparently and a result of lowering testosterone. What I notice I'm craving more these days is connection and love. If someone half-decent offered me sex I probably wouldn't take it, actually I've met a couple of much younger Pua's who have refused sex simply because they were 'bored of it'...they'd rather do other activities than engage in empty, connectionless, sex.
Back to Adderall, I'm on 60 mgs right now so I'm rambling a tad.
It can work, I can sit still for about 3 hours, but it won't think for you, it has made the conditions necessary ( sitting still ) available to me so that I stand a fighting chance of disciplining my mind. It's still difficult. I see this Persian man in the coffee shop studying 8 hours a day, monday to friday, I'm stunned, a little envious, this guy studies at least 40 hours a week, dammit, if I could do that my life would be completely different. There he is, every day, working on very very complex stuff, 8 hours a day, and when I talk to him we joke about this and that, in other words, he's normal, has friends, family and girlfriends. Why can't I be like that?
There is a down side to Adderall, and that is the crash. After about 3 or 4 hours of the good part I start to notice I get in a reeeeally bad mood. People make me sick, I want to punch them, I hate them, I hate the world, this is typical btw, I've spoken to others who state the same. It's a dopamine or serotonin crash I guess, and it is very unpleasant. The movie "Limitless" with Bradley Cooper, is clearly about Adderall type stimulants.
The only thing you can do is to eat after 3 hours. Adderall kills appetite, you have to force yourself to eat, otherwise the crash is going to be very nasty. Eat a massive bowl of spaghetti, or a big meal with chicken and carbs, it can make a big difference in the severity of the crash.
One day I will stop taking these things. I have had enough of the ups and downs now, and will try to figure out a better and healthier way into this state using diet and yoga.
That's it for now, hope this helps someone.
