Advice On What One Should Do If They Are Not "Equally Yoked" with Their S/O

Shedlight11

Pigeon
Woman
Hello Ladies,

Hope everyone is doing well. I am in need of some advice. I have been in a relationship for two years. I am 24 years old.

Everything was good in the beginning, but once the pandemic came,I realized the truth of the world and was led to God's light. I realized how different we were as couple. Something is lacking on a deep level.

He is a kind man with a good heart, but he is extremely secular. All he cares about is sports, TV and social media. He does not care about the issues of the world or the corruption. He lacks faith. Religion to him is reading a bible verse a night and going to bed. He is not aware of Christ and the depth of being a Christian (not shaming him because everyone is on different paths in their faith)

He complies with the mask mandates and doesn't value freedom. He often puts work before anything else and I feel would martyr to his corporate job. I work in a school and am on the verge of quitting due to forced masks, testing and indoctrinating the children. Our passions are just not the same. It is hard to submit to a man who is extremely submissive himself.

I am also 99% sure his sister is into witchcraft. She is dark and has pentagrams hanging in her home and even dresses her child in pentagrams as well. She has also defended witches saying "they are good people". This doesn't have much to do with our relationship, but it bothers me. I don't pass judgment on her, but I do not agree with her ways and try to shed wisdom any way I can.

I am unsure of what to do. He is a good man, but I fear that when things get tough in the future, he will not be willing to give up his comforts. I do not exactly "feel safe" in the climate of the world with him.

He does not take care of himself mind, body and soul. He eats fast food all of the time and does not appreciate when I cook or clean. He doesn't value those sorts of things.

There is also slight depression and anxiety in the mix as well. He is on medication and I am HIGHLY against pharma and believe in a more holistic way of life.

I have expressed my concerns and he simply doesn't get it. He gets very upset, sometimes even crying which makes it super hard for me to leave with a clear head. I do not want to be responsible for hurting someone.

What is the best way to go about this? I pray on this issue all of the time. Is this an issue with me? Am I being selfish?I do not want to be harsh and I am trying not to sound like a typical female blowing off a good man.

Trying my best to walk in Christ everyday.

God bless you all and thank you.

-C ;)
 
Man what is with society and witchcraft these days? .... I have been dating the last couple years and seem to have found "the one" now, and I find it's best if you're not spiritually at least in the same vicinity, to just move on if you're not married yet. It's far easier for all sides involved; you'll both be the better for it 9 times out of 10. Not only is it not a selfish move for you, it's the best for him as well to give him a healthy "shock" to the system so he can get his priorities straight in life (which might take a couple years, years which you shouldn't waste of your life). Sad but necessary reality of dating- God comes first, always.

If you're married, then obviously you should try to figure it out and help become more serious, and work with your pastor for guidance.... Just my 2 cents!
 

Shedlight11

Pigeon
Woman
Agree. You can't even imagine the evil until you see it first hand. I never thought this stuff was real until I was awake and tsarting picking up on the symbolism and how people act and speak. She's VERY dark.

Not married. I do agree that God comes first always. I feel like it is hindering my walk with Christ in a sense.

and like you said, it's not fair to him which I have tried explaining.

Thanks for your input.
 

Joe316

Robin
"Partner" is a term homosexuals first used to describe the counterpart of their fleshly union.

Hope everyone is doing well. I am in need of some advice. I have been in a relationship for two years. I am 24 years old.

God doesn't recognize "relationships" of two years. He recognizes marriage. Before marriage comes engagement, and before engagement comes courtship. But courtship doesn't last two years and doesn't include fornication. And this secular guy would never stay with you, if it weren't for the latter. "Unequally yoked" applies exclusively to marriage. The other stuff you shouldn't do at all.
 

Ah_Tibor

Woodpecker
Woman
If you're not married and can't see yourself married to him in ten years, I'd cut my losses.

I once received the advice of putting everything on the table and try your best for a month. Don't worry about it one way or the other, just see if it gets better or worse. Talk about *everything*. Don't stay in a mediocre relationship just because you're scared of being alone or because baby fever sets in.
 

Shedlight11

Pigeon
Woman
"Partner" is a term homosexuals first used to describe the counterpart of their fleshly union.



God doesn't recognize "relationships" of two years. He recognizes marriage. Before marriage comes engagement, and before engagement comes courtship. But courtship doesn't last two years and doesn't include fornication. And this secular guy would never stay with you, if it weren't for the latter. "Unequally yoked" applies exclusively to marriage. The other stuff you shouldn't do at all.
 

Ah_Tibor

Woodpecker
Woman
Also, I don't mean to be rude, but your boyfriend sounds like a weenie. We feel that viscerally.

If you've gotten to the point of asking advice from wacky strangers on an internet forum, you probably know what your answer is. He sounds like the type who would make you feel guilty if you split up--so if you make that decision, gather as much moral support as possible. Talk to people who love you. Eat good food, drink enough water, take walks in the sunshine, and get some sleep. Do things YOU like to do and do not feel guilty.

If you stay with him, there's a whole mess of behaviors that you're not comfortable with. So either you adjust your expectations or he has to change. And it is hard to change another person.
 

Shedlight11

Pigeon
Woman
Also, I don't mean to be rude, but your boyfriend sounds like a weenie. We feel that viscerally.

If you've gotten to the point of asking advice from wacky strangers on an internet forum, you probably know what your answer is. He sounds like the type who would make you feel guilty if you split up--so if you make that decision, gather as much moral support as possible. Talk to people who love you. Eat good food, drink enough water, take walks in the sunshine, and get some sleep. Do things YOU like to do and do not feel guilty.

If you stay with him, there's a whole mess of behaviors that you're not comfortable with. So either you adjust your expectations or he has to change. And it is hard to change another person.
You hit the nail on the head with the guilt. That's where I struggle with the faith and being selfless and not selfish. Thank you
 

Shedlight11

Pigeon
Woman
Is he trying to get off them or is he fine being on them indefinitely?
He is fine being on them indefinitely. No drive to change for himself ( I don't want someone to change for me, but for themselves)I I don't want to tell him what to do of course, but I try to think in terms of the future. Potentially marrying someone who is medicated makes me nervous, especially knowing the wickedness behind harma. Plus I do feel like it taints the reproductive organs and even the next generation of children to come. Also makes people lethargic and not really aware on a spiritual level, hence why the faith is lacking.
 

Starlight

Woodpecker
Woman
He is fine being on them indefinitely. No drive to change for himself ( I don't want someone to change for me, but for themselves)I I don't want to tell him what to do of course, but I try to think in terms of the future. Potentially marrying someone who is medicated makes me nervous, especially knowing the wickedness behind harma. Plus I do feel like it taints the reproductive organs and even the next generation of children to come. Also makes people lethargic and not really aware on a spiritual level, hence why the faith is lacking.
It’s ok to let him know what you are and are not ok with. Some people might call it an ultimatum but it’s really just letting him know what your lifelong expectations are from him. That is not unreasonable. On the flip side, have you thought about your own imperfections (you don’t have to tell us)? Sometimes it’s easy to point out others flaws while ignoring our own. After all, you have been with him for two years. Is there something in your own self that has kept you from moving on? It seems pretty obvious (at least to me) that you’re looking for an excuse to leave the relationship.
 
He is fine being on them indefinitely. No drive to change for himself ( I don't want someone to change for me, but for themselves)I I don't want to tell him what to do of course, but I try to think in terms of the future. Potentially marrying someone who is medicated makes me nervous, especially knowing the wickedness behind harma. Plus I do feel like it taints the reproductive organs and even the next generation of children to come. Also makes people lethargic and not really aware on a spiritual level, hence why the faith is lacking.

what medication is he on? if my wife was on any medication I would not have married her.
 

MtnMan

Woodpecker
It really sounds like you need to move on. I can only assume from your description that your attraction for this man is fading, and your world views are very misaligned. You need some level of those two things for a relationship to work long term. What happens when you have children? You really need to be on a similar page for so many things when dealing with children.
 

MtnMan

Woodpecker
Anti-depressant meds. I am anti-medication period. I won't even take an Advil. I found this out later in the relationship, but I agree with that statement.
Just this alone is going to eat at you. I dated a girl in college who used adderall, which I thought she did not need. That disagreement alone ate away at me. Its a terrible feeling. Marriage and children is hard enough without these huge divides between a couple.
 
Anti-depressant meds. I am anti-medication period. I won't even take an Advil. I found this out later in the relationship, but I agree with that statement.

You should have mentioned this in your first post. This is a huge red flag and explains his non-chalant attitude. You can research how bad SSRI are for you and the potential long-term damage they do on the brain. Why is he on them in the first place? If he is not even man enough to face his anxiety without medication then he is not suited for marriage.
 

Shedlight11

Pigeon
Woman
You are completly right! It would be a disservice to both him and I to continue this knowing the potential issues that can occur in the future.
 

Shedlight11

Pigeon
Woman
You should have mentioned this in your first post. This is a huge red flag and explains his non-chalant attitude. You can research how bad SSRI are for you and the potential long-term damage they do on the brain. Why is he on them in the first place? If he is not even man enough to face his anxiety without medication then he is not suited for marriage.
I will look into it. I do believe that medication does cause people to be withdrawn lethargic and disrupts the natural state of the body and brain. So, allegedly he was having severe anxiety attacks in his late teenage years. It was to the point of not being able to leave his bed. His mother encouraged him to go on medication. He has never came off of them since.

No will to change, better himself or put his trust in God.
 

TexasJenn

Sparrow
Woman
Since you're not married, it's pretty much a no-brainer to move on. I'd invite him to spiritual counseling first, to give it a chance. But it sounds as if you're on completely different pages spiritually and that's unlikely to change, meaning this is probably not a good match for marriage.
 
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