Age gap

BraveWarrior

Pigeon
Catholic
I don't think the age gap really matters until old age. You basically have to descend together and grow ugly at a similar rate. If you start to look like a grandpa I don't see how a younger woman would stay attracted to you.

Look at Jeff bezos, he lifts weights and wears the best clothes but he still looks like an old grandpa. They want a young looking guy. I think once you cross the age gap of over 10 years this becomes a problem.

I'm 35 and per weird chance I met and clicked with a 20 yr old. We have a real chemistry but I'm starting to get gray hairs and she's so young I'm not dumb enough to think she wouldn't eventually go back to some fun kid her age.
Like her mom is 55 and I remarked how weird it'd be if her mom had an elderly 70yr old husband...because it'd be that way with us so I'm not optimistic.

I think men can look good 35-45 and be capable of pulling young women but once you get into those grandpa years it becomes a big problem. Don't kid yourself that your "masculinity" and money will compensate for looking like an old guy. I see rich guys in their 50s hit on young women and it's pathetic.
If age gap mattered I think God would have mentioned it in the bible.

I'd say it doesn't matter period. The only reason people care about it at all is because of a feminist culture which seeks to prevent older men from exercising power and control over younger women. (Ever wonder why most of the hysteria of age gaps comes from older men younger women? meanwhile a teacher sleeps with a male student and people cheer it on.)

and we all know where feminism has gotten us.
 

Hypno

Crow
I don't think the age gap really matters until old age. You basically have to descend together and grow ugly at a similar rate. If you start to look like a grandpa I don't see how a younger woman would stay attracted to you.

Look at Jeff bezos, he lifts weights and wears the best clothes but he still looks like an old grandpa. They want a young looking guy. I think once you cross the age gap of over 10 years this becomes a problem.

I'm 35 and per weird chance I met and clicked with a 20 yr old. We have a real chemistry but I'm starting to get gray hairs and she's so young I'm not dumb enough to think she wouldn't eventually go back to some fun kid her age.
Like her mom is 55 and I remarked how weird it'd be if her mom had an elderly 70yr old husband...because it'd be that way with us so I'm not optimistic.

I think men can look good 35-45 and be capable of pulling young women but once you get into those grandpa years it becomes a big problem. Don't kid yourself that your "masculinity" and money will compensate for looking like an old guy. I see rich guys in their 50s hit on young women and it's pathetic.

Spro, I'm going to disagree with much of what you wrote.

First, a lot of woman don't think Bezos looks that bad. He looks better now than 25 years ago. You could say he looked like more of a grandpa then.

Screen-Shot-2015-07-15-at-8.05.26-AM-620x444.png


I think you are just projecting your fears onto all women. There certainly are women who prefer more mature looking men, and the societal stigma against that is fairly new in history and is quickly eroding.

Older men marrying younger women was more common in the past - Joseph and Mary is the archetype. (Interestingly, the Bible doesn't tell us whether Joseph was jacked or looked like a grandpa). This was more common as recently as even 200 or 100 years ago as well.

Second, physical appearance is the least important. The most important is emotional maturity and life goals. Few men in their 20s are ready emotionally or financially to have kids, so a a 35/24 gap addresses this better than 20/20 or 35/35. (I note you didn't use the half plus 7 rule, and instead made a more extreme example of 35/20). If you are married to someone, having alignment about when to have kids and how to raise them is probably the biggest issue in your marriage.

Are you married yet? If you are 35, are you seeking a wife who is 35? Are you ready for the risk of miscarriages or to have the pressure to have a baby almost immediately? A friend of mine was 40 when he married a 29 year old. He had already built a successful business, had traveled extensively, and was financially and emotionally ready for a family. A woman who is ready to have a family will find that attractive.

Finally, the age gap matters less as you age, not more. When my friend reaches 75, his wife will be 64. The age gap will be barely noticeable at that time.
 

Spro23

Pigeon
Catholic
Oh I definitely go for younger women, no way I'd marry my own age. But I'm saying if you're well into middle age looking and she's only 29, don't be shocked and devastated if she cheats with some young guy with tattoos.

Remember Anthony Bourdain had that chick 20+ years younger. Yes he was famous, rich, cool, important, etc....but at the end of the day he looked like an old man and she cheated with a young guy and he couldn't emotionally accept that.
 

MartyMcFly

Kingfisher
Other Christian
Oh I definitely go for younger women, no way I'd marry my own age. But I'm saying if you're well into middle age looking and she's only 29, don't be shocked and devastated if she cheats with some young guy with tattoos.

Remember Anthony Bourdain had that chick 20+ years younger. Yes he was famous, rich, cool, important, etc....but at the end of the day he looked like an old man and she cheated with a young guy and he couldn't emotionally accept that.
You need to avoid women of all ages that are into social media and narcissistic. If the woman is always posting selfies on social media, she is high-risk. Bourdain's wife seemed like this. A lot of these types of women will cheat even when there is no age gap. Having children after marriage that are planned for (and because both of you actually want kids for reasons besides family pressure or to gain social status) likely helps. This will give the marriage even more meaning.

Bourdain showed too much neediness around his wife it seemed and she likely sensed it and lost respect for him (although she seemed high-risk anyways). It may seem cold, but you can't show you depend on anybody too much. A woman won't respect someone she can boss around. Bourdain should have had more confidence and it is quite surprising because on his show (I only watched one episode-where he went to China), he seemed relaxed and extroverted and the people seemed to genuinely like him. He could easily have done better and it is a surprise he didn't realize that.

However, you can also see that even among celebrities, there are some relationships where the age gap was not a problem. This is one example that comes to mind:

 

Hypno

Crow
Bourdain showed too much neediness around his wife it seemed and she likely sensed it and lost respect for him (although she seemed high-risk anyways). It may seem cold, but you can't show you depend on anybody too much. A woman won't respect someone she can boss around. Bourdain should have had more confidence and it is quite surprising because on his show (I only watched one episode-where he went to China), he seemed relaxed and extroverted and the people seemed to genuinely like him. He could easily have done better and it is a surprise he didn't realize that.

You raise a good point, that you still have to "game" once you are in a relationship. If your wife loses respect for you, then your marriage and family life will not be far behind. But contrary to the suggestion of some of the young guys here, I think a man who has a decade age advantage on a woman is more likley to maintain that respect. He will be more experienced and accomplished in life. He'll know how to do things and get things done. He'll have a bigger network. He will face challenges with equanimity. You will be more patient with other, especially children, because of your experiences and confidence. Women find those things attractive, and they are more important than how handsome or physically fit you are.

I'm not sure what happened with Bourdain, because the guy had beaten drug addiction and had achieved a lot of other successes. I would suggest that his neediness was despite his age, not because of it.
 

AwakenedApe

Sparrow
Agnostic
Spro, I'm going to disagree with much of what you wrote.

First, a lot of woman don't think Bezos looks that bad. He looks better now than 25 years ago. You could say he looked like more of a grandpa then.

Screen-Shot-2015-07-15-at-8.05.26-AM-620x444.png


I think you are just projecting your fears onto all women. There certainly are women who prefer more mature looking men, and the societal stigma against that is fairly new in history and is quickly eroding.

Older men marrying younger women was more common in the past - Joseph and Mary is the archetype. (Interestingly, the Bible doesn't tell us whether Joseph was jacked or looked like a grandpa). This was more common as recently as even 200 or 100 years ago as well.

Second, physical appearance is the least important. The most important is emotional maturity and life goals. Few men in their 20s are ready emotionally or financially to have kids, so a a 35/24 gap addresses this better than 20/20 or 35/35. (I note you didn't use the half plus 7 rule, and instead made a more extreme example of 35/20). If you are married to someone, having alignment about when to have kids and how to raise them is probably the biggest issue in your marriage.

Are you married yet? If you are 35, are you seeking a wife who is 35? Are you ready for the risk of miscarriages or to have the pressure to have a baby almost immediately? A friend of mine was 40 when he married a 29 year old. He had already built a successful business, had traveled extensively, and was financially and emotionally ready for a family. A woman who is ready to have a family will find that attractive.

Finally, the age gap matters less as you age, not more. When my friend reaches 75, his wife will be 64. The age gap will be barely noticeable at that time.
Jeff(57) and his 52year old girlfriend:
 

ZAMSKI

Robin
If age gap mattered I think God would have mentioned it in the bible.

I'd say it doesn't matter period. The only reason people care about it at all is because of a feminist culture which seeks to prevent older men from exercising power and control over younger women. (Ever wonder why most of the hysteria of age gaps comes from older men younger women? meanwhile a teacher sleeps with a male student and people cheer it on.)

and we all know where feminism has gotten us.

LOLZ please...

Maybe it isn't mentioned in the bible but any normal guy who goes out and socializes knows that it DOES! And why wouldn't it. It is biomechanics! You can't simply brush aside what nature intended (age gaps within reason) with religion and expect things to work out. Saying what you are saying is similar to how a lot of delusional guys think they can throw money at unrealistic age gaps and expect it to work.
 

BraveWarrior

Pigeon
Catholic
LOLZ please...

Maybe it isn't mentioned in the bible but any normal guy who goes out and socializes knows that it DOES! And why wouldn't it. It is biomechanics! You can't simply brush aside what nature intended (age gaps within reason) with religion and expect things to work out. Saying what you are saying is similar to how a lot of delusional guys think they can throw money at unrealistic age gaps and expect it to work.
Throwing money at age gaps doesn't work because if a very old dude uses money to attract a pretty young woman she is probably a gold digger.

Also "within reason" is extremely vague and undefined.
 

AwakenedApe

Sparrow
Agnostic
Throwing money at age gaps doesn't work because if a very old dude uses money to attract a pretty young woman she is probably a gold digger.

Also "within reason" is extremely vague and undefined.
I’m my opinion gold digger is a grey scale. Any sane woman wants a man who can provide for her children. Then the question is only optimizing her partner choice with the unfortuneate tradeoff for what she can attract between physical attractiveness and financial attractiveness. It’s a grey scale, not black and white. Some women will date a fat ugly 70 year old for his billions, but they are rare, many will date an average looking millionaire over a good looking surfer loser.

If you move to a poorer country without social welfare the tradeoff is more towards financial security over physical looks, in the west women will get pregnant with losers who will leave them as they know the state will always take care of them...
 

BraveWarrior

Pigeon
Catholic
many will date an average looking millionaire over a good looking surfer loser.
Yes, and those "many women", are choosing between money and looks, and would feel disappointed about marrying an average looking Christian man in his late 20's/early 30's who makes, say $70-90k a year and is still a virgin (as Christian men are supposed to be until marriage). Prioritizing standing out in money or looks, and not virtue, is a huge reason marriages fail.
 

Spro23

Pigeon
Catholic
^^^I don't understand why you pretend men are shallow for enhancing their options with worldly objects when the bible explicitly says a man must PAY for a woman.

1 Timothy 5:8
But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

No money = WORSE THAN UNBELIEVER

I guess worldly possessions do matter then huh?
Women are encouraged to snag a strong winner while you rip men for trying to make themselves more appealing to women. Women are taking full advantage of this and men are confused why doing what they're told leaves them destitute and alone.
 

renotime

Ostrich
Catholic
Gold Member
That sounds like the first semester of the first year for some people, not the entire experience.

In my case I spent much of the last two years at least crunching numbers for finance and econ courses and not much else. I took some of the graduate level courses as an undergrad so it wasn't a walk in the park. I played video games, hung out with my girlfriend, or went to visit family nearby on the weekends. I also read a lot. The usual young folk stuff Atlas Shrugged and whatnot. Don't regret any of that time either.

I learned a lot about my courses of study and life in general in those long hours on the quiet floor in the library so it's a bit sad to hear people discount their entire college experience to drinking, hook ups, and debt. It's definitely the norm for a lot of people though.

Regarding the age gap, if there's a larger one be prepared to put in a lot of 'instruction' especially if the girl lacked in the paternal upbringing experience. It can be trying at times because you actually do take the place of a parent. As long as you have patience and can tolerate watching someone fail at things you've long mastered, you'll be ok. You'll also need to be prepared for more youthful reactions good and bad. Rolling eyes in an argument, for example. Just small things but nothing warranting society's shame for age disparity between a couple.

You don't need a college degree to go to the library. It's largely a way to indoctrinate people into marxism. You were smart and got a worthwhile degree that lead to a job on wall street and went at a time before they hated white people.
 

motardpdx

Pigeon
Orthodox
Consider current culture, the redefining of marriage, global homo, LGBTQ agenda, this has destroyed the marriage concept for younger generations, marriage is now a broken institution. Many older women struggle to understand after having children and raising them why they struggle to stay within this failed structure? Career college educated women within the institutions, government, principalities are artificially inserted into these positions of power, creating a counterfeit hierarchy. Furthermore, women post fertility without the institution of marriage now fully rely upon the power of the state, weaponizing their feminism, creating a protected hierarchy, that will eventually bring about the destruction of western civilization.
the modern women is evil by design, created by feminism, Marxism, and globalism.
"So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit"
 

BraveWarrior

Pigeon
Catholic
I don't understand why you pretend men are shallow for enhancing their options with worldly objects
I don't understand why you think I'm pretending men are shallow
while you rip men for trying to make themselves more appealing to women.
Never did this whatsoever
when the bible explicitly says a man must PAY for a woman.

1 Timothy 5:8
But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

No money = WORSE THAN UNBELIEVER
Nice strawman. I never said a man should be an unemployed bum who can't support a family. You do realize there is a difference between not being super rich, and being unemployed and in poverty? It's called.... *drumroll*.... being middle class.
 

presidentcarter

Ostrich
Protestant
Gold Member
You don't need a college degree to go to the library. It's largely a way to indoctrinate people into marxism. You were smart and got a worthwhile degree that lead to a job on wall street and went at a time before they hated white people.
I think you must be talking about someone else here but ok you’re saying the same thing I am anyway - that many waste the experience. Not all, but many.

I thought this thread was about having a younger partner and the issues with that so let’s stay on course here.
 

renotime

Ostrich
Catholic
Gold Member
I think you must be talking about someone else here but ok you’re saying the same thing I am anyway - that many waste the experience. Not all, but many.

I thought this thread was about having a younger partner and the issues with that so let’s stay on course here.

No, I'm saying college is largely a waste of time.
 

Blade Runner

Ostrich
Orthodox
Consider current culture, the redefining of marriage, global homo, LGBTQ agenda, this has destroyed the marriage concept for younger generations, marriage is now a broken institution. Many older women struggle to understand after having children and raising them why they struggle to stay within this failed structure? Career college educated women within the institutions, government, principalities are artificially inserted into these positions of power, creating a counterfeit hierarchy. Furthermore, women post fertility without the institution of marriage now fully rely upon the power of the state, weaponizing their feminism, creating a protected hierarchy, that will eventually bring about the destruction of western civilization.
the modern women is evil by design, created by feminism, Marxism, and globalism.
"So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit"
This is spot on. Roosh has it recently in the end times article, which is that the trajectory has been to produce tech (19th and 20th century industrial revolution) and allow families and normalcy because it was required, only to pit everyone against each other so that fecundity crashes and everyone and everything is inverted - now that global tech is here. So much of what we took for granted wasn't good at all as @motardpdx points out, thinking our children are the same and that society needed women to do much more than what they are good and happy with doing. Everything currently is a counterfeit hierarchy, which is why the women cherry on top feature is so disgusting in many ways. It is bizarre that Christianity did more for women than any other single thing in the history of the world, and that basis has led to this state. It makes me nauseous in the sense that it's so obvious and no one wants to talk or be honest about any of it. But hey, the "progress" of the world was always bound for the end times, that's the point, isn't it?
 

The Beast1

Peacock
Orthodox Inquirer
Gold Member
He take lot of medicine from 'the vet' and is billionaire so have access to all anti aging regimen.

I think hormonal substance not permitted in orthodox church?
Jeffrey is famously on TRT, prescribed testosterone replacement therapy and hitting the gym.

There is no prohibition on such things beyond what Jesus said regarding excessive alcoholic drinking.
 
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