If you want to believe in God, repent, stop actively practicing sin, pray for God to give you faith, and watch what happens. I'm hesitant to give you spoilers but trust me, things will change.
Definitely don't marry this girl, your chances of being unfaithful are through the roof.Here is my problem: Am I messed up for thinking that I might be able to do "better" or find someone more attractive than what I have? Coronavirus aside, during normal times, when I am alone, I can't help but to benchmark my girlfriend versus other women I am looking at as I drive or walk streets, etc.
Why can't I just be happy with what I have?
More specifically, I have a good friend who lives in Prague.. And we have already planned a trip to some Catholic/conservative countries with beautiful women for late next spring (Poland/Slovenia/Lithuania). The whole purpose for me going on this trip is to find someone potentially "better" (more physically attractive/conservative) than what I already have.
For some reason, meeting a foreign girl not constantly exposed to the United States cesspool appeals to me. Its almost as if I need to go on this trip, not find someone I deem as "better", and return. After that, I feel like my mind will be fine because I tried and didn't discover anything better. If that makes sense to my fellow board members?
Thanks for any responses in advance.
Thank you again. Slightly off-topic, what turned you off specifically to Jordan Peterson?You have a hard time "believing" because living in accordance to God's and the Catholic Church moral teachings is much harder than living in sin. Living in Sin is easy, and heck, you get to be the god of your own universe. You make up the laws as you see fit. Fornicate a little here, look at attractive women over there, but as long as you dont "cheat" you're good right? You get to make up your own moral code. Who needs God when you can be your own god?
I dont know what happened in your childhood, but from the little information you have given us, it seems you were "forced" to attend mass. As soon as you turned 18 and presumably starting to sin left and right, you could finally stop going to mass and just drop the religion all together. It's ok, many such cases here. However, you're almost 30 and its time to finally grow up from your teenage fedora angst and return to your faith.
We all have the internet here, and the information available to us is vast and plentiful. If you truly wanted to, you could investigate the faith and the Proofs provided for the existence of God given by Saints such as St Thomas Aquinas right now( I would also suggest you start with books by Edward Feser, followed by works by F.C Coppleston, Finally Give E Michael Jones a try on Bitchute and search videos on logos by him, but especially buy his book "Logos Rising"). But I know you haven't because the Sin you are committing is blinding you and worse, has you enslaved. As St Augustine said, " View attachment 25758
You can't possibly return to The Faith because as you insinuated, returning to your faith would mean you would have to stop being the "master" of your own universe(but in reality the devil's slave) and submit yourself to God's will. For many deeply entrenched in sin, this seems near impossible, they can't possibly fathom not have mindless, sterile sex, not watch pornography, not masturbate and not look at women lustfully. No, this is too "hard" for them. Speak to any atheist and the vast majority will be COOMER degenerates who cannot control their passions. They then rationalize their non-belief with faulty, elementary arguments because it lets them continue in their degeneracy.
I would suggest you start doing your research anyway, even if you dont think anything will happen by it... ironically, i started believing in God again when I was 29. To add to it, it was Juden Peterstein (also known as Jordan Peterson) who started the cogs of belief for me with his biblical series on YouTube. The rest was history. Funny enough, my last ex-gf was also crucial in my eventual return to Catholicism. It was a slow ride, but finally this year, I started attending church again, did my first confession, took my First Communion and been attending church every Sunday. I love going to church on Sunday and can't imagine myself ever missing Sunday Mass(Traditional Latin Mass of course, avoid Norvus ordo).
I'll leave you with one last St. Augustine quote:
View attachment 25759.
Then ask yourself this question "Do you deserve a good woman?" and read Roosh's article with the same name. You can demand from others only qualities that you already possess. If your being is not centered around God, you will meet only secular girls. And secular marriage is big randomness because there is no center. Without God, there are no real conservative values, only temporal, pragmatic agreements."Evil is the vulgar lover who loves the body rather than the soul, inasmuch as he is not
even stable, because he loves a thing which is in itself unstable, and therefore when the bloom
of youth which he was desiring is over, he takes wing and flies away, in spite of all his words and
I liked him as well until a little over a year ago. How credible can a self help guru be when he's in and out of rehab for benzo addiction? Why should I listen to him on how to be a good parent when his daughter is a complete whore? His whole brand is being this renegade intellectual, yet when confronted on the Jewish Question he "can't do it" (his words). I think his quick rise to fame was artificial, he's probably controlled opposition to keep the right wing individualist and athiestThank you again. Slightly off-topic, what turned you off specifically to Jordan Peterson?
Personally, I found that as I started to learn more about the Catholic Faith, the less I needed to hear JP. He only has a basic understanding of Christianity and his focus is mostly just on the Old Testament... Eventually I stopped following him completely around late 2018 when huge doubts about him became too apparent. Cortes above also touched on some of concerns I also had.Thank you again. Slightly off-topic, what turned you off specifically to Jordan Peterson?