Am I "Settling" or is There Something Wrong With Me?

Beaker

Sparrow
Here is my problem: Am I messed up for thinking that I might be able to do "better" or find someone more attractive than what I have? Coronavirus aside, during normal times, when I am alone, I can't help but to benchmark my girlfriend versus other women I am looking at as I drive or walk streets, etc.

Why can't I just be happy with what I have?

More specifically, I have a good friend who lives in Prague.. And we have already planned a trip to some Catholic/conservative countries with beautiful women for late next spring (Poland/Slovenia/Lithuania). The whole purpose for me going on this trip is to find someone potentially "better" (more physically attractive/conservative) than what I already have.

For some reason, meeting a foreign girl not constantly exposed to the United States cesspool appeals to me. Its almost as if I need to go on this trip, not find someone I deem as "better", and return. After that, I feel like my mind will be fine because I tried and didn't discover anything better. If that makes sense to my fellow board members?

Thanks for any responses in advance.
Definitely don't marry this girl, your chances of being unfaithful are through the roof.
 

Waverer

Robin
As the first reply says, this is very, very normal. You could find someone better if you wait or move on ... but you could find someone worse. As someone about a decade older than you, I have definitely seen men in their mid 30s marry someone better than they were with in their mid 20s. I have also seen them marry people who are obviously and objectively worse than the girlfriends they once had. Not very helpful, I know - but I guess the message is: she could possibly be the best wife out of any girl you will date in the next ten years. In five years, she will probably be off the market, and so will a lot of women like her. You may not prefer the options that remain.
 

Advorsor

Pigeon
You have a hard time "believing" because living in accordance to God's and the Catholic Church moral teachings is much harder than living in sin. Living in Sin is easy, and heck, you get to be the god of your own universe. You make up the laws as you see fit. Fornicate a little here, look at attractive women over there, but as long as you dont "cheat" you're good right? You get to make up your own moral code. Who needs God when you can be your own god?

I dont know what happened in your childhood, but from the little information you have given us, it seems you were "forced" to attend mass. As soon as you turned 18 and presumably starting to sin left and right, you could finally stop going to mass and just drop the religion all together. It's ok, many such cases here. However, you're almost 30 and its time to finally grow up from your teenage fedora angst and return to your faith.

We all have the internet here, and the information available to us is vast and plentiful. If you truly wanted to, you could investigate the faith and the Proofs provided for the existence of God given by Saints such as St Thomas Aquinas right now( I would also suggest you start with books by Edward Feser, followed by works by F.C Coppleston, Finally Give E Michael Jones a try on Bitchute and search videos on logos by him, but especially buy his book "Logos Rising"). But I know you haven't because the Sin you are committing is blinding you and worse, has you enslaved. As St Augustine said, " View attachment 25758

You can't possibly return to The Faith because as you insinuated, returning to your faith would mean you would have to stop being the "master" of your own universe(but in reality the devil's slave) and submit yourself to God's will. For many deeply entrenched in sin, this seems near impossible, they can't possibly fathom not have mindless, sterile sex, not watch pornography, not masturbate and not look at women lustfully. No, this is too "hard" for them. Speak to any atheist and the vast majority will be COOMER degenerates who cannot control their passions. They then rationalize their non-belief with faulty, elementary arguments because it lets them continue in their degeneracy.

I would suggest you start doing your research anyway, even if you dont think anything will happen by it... ironically, i started believing in God again when I was 29. To add to it, it was Juden Peterstein (also known as Jordan Peterson) who started the cogs of belief for me with his biblical series on YouTube. The rest was history. Funny enough, my last ex-gf was also crucial in my eventual return to Catholicism. It was a slow ride, but finally this year, I started attending church again, did my first confession, took my First Communion and been attending church every Sunday. I love going to church on Sunday and can't imagine myself ever missing Sunday Mass(Traditional Latin Mass of course, avoid Norvus ordo).

I'll leave you with one last St. Augustine quote:

View attachment 25759.
Thank you again. Slightly off-topic, what turned you off specifically to Jordan Peterson?
 

Mithras

Newbie
I would also add that the attitude "I'm ready to leave a relationship when someone better comes" is dishonest and despicable. It would be unacceptable in any traditional, non-decadent civilization. When you started a relationship with a woman (you live and have sex with her) you made a decision and with decision comes the responsibility to face the consequences of that decision, no matter how bad or good they are. Being absolutely loyal to your partner, even if she is not best, is more fulfilling than volatile profane happiness.

Firstly, you should get clear on your values. Physical attractiveness is important to some extent, but solely it cannot be the primary factor. Is your current partner attractive or not to you? If yes, then leaving her just because you want someone more attractive is fundamentally wrong.

"Evil is the vulgar lover who loves the body rather than the soul, inasmuch as he is not
even stable, because he loves a thing which is in itself unstable, and therefore when the bloom
of youth which he was desiring is over, he takes wing and flies away, in spite of all his words and
promises." Plato
Then ask yourself this question "Do you deserve a good woman?" and read Roosh's article with the same name. You can demand from others only qualities that you already possess. If your being is not centered around God, you will meet only secular girls. And secular marriage is big randomness because there is no center. Without God, there are no real conservative values, only temporal, pragmatic agreements.

If you get clear on your values, you will need to make a final decision. Whatever it will be, change must start from you.
 

Cortés

Woodpecker
Gold Member
Thank you again. Slightly off-topic, what turned you off specifically to Jordan Peterson?
I liked him as well until a little over a year ago. How credible can a self help guru be when he's in and out of rehab for benzo addiction? Why should I listen to him on how to be a good parent when his daughter is a complete whore? His whole brand is being this renegade intellectual, yet when confronted on the Jewish Question he "can't do it" (his words). I think his quick rise to fame was artificial, he's probably controlled opposition to keep the right wing individualist and athiest
 
Thank you again. Slightly off-topic, what turned you off specifically to Jordan Peterson?
Personally, I found that as I started to learn more about the Catholic Faith, the less I needed to hear JP. He only has a basic understanding of Christianity and his focus is mostly just on the Old Testament... Eventually I stopped following him completely around late 2018 when huge doubts about him became too apparent. Cortes above also touched on some of concerns I also had.

I would still recommend his Biblical series on YoutTube if you are an atheist. It worked for me and many others to finally start searching for God again, so at the very least, I am thankful that he had that effect on me. Again, I think it's a good gateway to God if you're an atheist but eventually you will outgrow JP.
 

bmw633

Robin
A year into relationship and moving in together is not enough time to see whether or not she is a covert narcissist. She may still be putting on an act to rope you in.

There are always hotter looking women out there, but looks are fleeting. If you are lukewarm to the GF, you should do her a favor and break up.
 

RoadKill

Sparrow


You've already decided it's over, you just don't know it yet. You need time to mature and work on yourself. Focus on being content with being alone. When you don't need a woman to feel complete, the right one will be sent to you; and when you least expect it. Learn to love yourself before trying to love a woman. When you love yourself and are confident being you and with nobody else, women will find you stable and attractive.

She may be too good for you and you'd do her a great dis-service by keeping your relationship with her. I can see you marrying her, having a kid with her and walking out on both of them in short order. You have no concept of love and commitment right now.

You have some serious work ahead of you. I suggest getting involved with a church group that feeds the poor and homeless and serves the destitute. Get involved with some charity work that serves cancer patients and kids with severe illnesses. Or see about serving orphans or poverty stricken kids. It's a life-changing experience that will shift your focus away from yourself and will give you perspective on life, grace, mercy, love and GOD.

RK
 
Don';t marry. You still have time to relocate and find traditional families who likely have a virgin daughter. Prove your worth to the family and be a Godly man, and you will end up with a Godly woman. Do this if having a family be your goal. But if you have work to do, do not move. Now the nature of the work in question should determine your move. Are you doing the Lord's work? Or are you filling a position in the worldly system to secure your month-to-month expenses to continue a life of not doing the Lord's work?

I live in some very disreputable places to do the Lord's work, but I know it is because these things must be done. I see many beautiful women yet have not talked to one who is waiting for a Godly man. Their world is shallow, hollow, and rotten. Do not give in to it.
 
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