Anger

DelMarMisty

Robin
Woman
Does anybody else struggle with this sin? It's one where I feel ashamed when I approach God to pray because I've struggled with it for a long time and when I think it is getting better, one thing can tip me over the edge. I know most psychologists say "find the source of your anger" and maybe that is true to some extent, but I believe it is a spiritual battle. Not only this, when I'm angry I am capable of saying nasty things, as opposed to say a member of my family who has trouble saying mean things even during an angry episode.
 

Zep

Pelican
1. Your anger is not a sin. Keep "Shame" out of this.
2. Behind anger is PAIN.
3. Find the pain, this is what shrinks mean when they say "find the source of your anger".
4. This is the hard part, not just intellectually understanding where the pain/anger comes from, but actually feeling the pain that causes the anger. If you have the courage and fortitude to go through this, your anger will disappear. I have personally seen this process occur through a friend of mine.
 

DelMarMisty

Robin
Woman
1. Your anger is not a sin. Keep "Shame" out of this.
2. Behind anger is PAIN.
3. Find the pain, this is what shrinks mean when they say "find the source of your anger".
4. This is the hard part, not just intellectually understanding where the pain/anger comes from, but actually feeling the pain that causes the anger. If you have the courage and fortitude to go through this, your anger will disappear. I have personally seen this process occur through a friend of mine.
Hey thanks for your response. How would one even start trying to find the pain/anger? Process of deep self-reflection, perhaps?
 

Vigilant

Kingfisher
Woman
Does anybody else struggle with this sin? It's one where I feel ashamed when I approach God to pray because I've struggled with it for a long time and when I think it is getting better, one thing can tip me over the edge. I know most psychologists say "find the source of your anger" and maybe that is true to some extent, but I believe it is a spiritual battle. Not only this, when I'm angry I am capable of saying nasty things, as opposed to say a member of my family who has trouble saying mean things even during an angry episode.
Firstly only God defines sin. How do you know if your anger is sin?
Anger is not sin. It depends if the anger is righteous or not.
Saying nasty things can be sinful, but then again it needs clarification and context.

God says what most people assume are nasty. If one is saying nasty things in reaction to being unrighteously provoked then it is a useful sign to process and work out one's salvation in fear and trembling (reverence). These are tests to sanctify us, causing us to mature in holiness and build our faith.
Sins against us are opportunities to navigate our ethics towards Christ first then to our neighbour.
 

stugatz

Pelican
when I'm angry I am capable of saying nasty things, as opposed to say a member of my family who has trouble saying mean things even during an angry episode.
I struggle with self-control during anger myself, it's probably my worst deadly sin. I'm also not helped by the fact that I have a really acid tongue and have been known to really hurt relatives & friends if I start ranting and say things I can't take back. (When this was worse, I would actually think of insults to use later if I got into an argument with someone that I'd been butting heads with. I'd almost rehearse the conversation in advance.)

Mine stems from the fact that I've felt like I was dealt a bad break in life, and have never had it easy. I sit around thinking about how much further along I'd be now if I were luckier and had had a more stable upbringing. It's toxic, but at least I know where the source of the problem is, and it's been improving.

Finding the source is useful, it gives you a sense of perspective. Although learning how to deal with it comes when you let go of your pride - which is hard when it comes to anger, since it feels SO good to release it.
 
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TexasJenn

Robin
Woman
Can you identify the root of your anger? With whom or what are angry, deep down? This could be someone or something from way back. Your answer doesn't have to "make sense."
 

Atlas Shrugged

Sparrow
Woman
I have a problem with anger and it’s not good. At least for me. I look at the world and i dont have the right word to describe how lost and evil and hopeless i feel it is. I read some story about some stupid trans or gay thing related to kids and I internally flip out. It’s not good for the body. In my head that anger turns into me going all terminator on everyone so that’s probably why God has not granted me superpowers. I’d be zapping humans left and right. Only thing that helps bring me down is prayer. Obviously. But that’s not the top of my sin list. I pray all the time to be less judgmental cause I really cannot stand male/female sluts and morbidly obese people. That also sets me off. I know, more prayer. Because they are Gods children too. I just can’t be around them. I can’t wait to have a log cabin in the woods. I need to start saving for that cause earth is not getting any better. I’ll add you to my ever increasing prayer notecards. Please pray for me as well. Thanks.
 

Vigilant

Kingfisher
Woman
Maybe it's not the anger-- you can't really control that--but how you respond. I get angry at my husband and do the I'M FINE thing a lot, which probably isn't the most constructive way to deal with things.
Yes, like F.I.N.E...
Fine,
Insecure,
Neurotic,
Emotional

:laughter:
(edited)
 

Ah_Tibor

Woodpecker
Woman
Yes, like F.I.N.E...
Fine,
Insecure,
Neurotic,
Emotional

:laughter:
(edited)

It is something I want to work on. I tend to shut down when I get extremely angry, which is helpful if you are in a stressful situation-- but it is probably not helpful in a marriage.

My husband is a combination of loud but occasionally passive-aggressive. His dad is quiet but thoughtful and his mom has a tendency to get dramatic or excessively emotional about things. I've had to curb my own anger dealing with her for the past year, like her blocking us from entering the house because I work with PEOPLE, but then having her say things to our son like, "who's your favorite grandma?"

I try to keep some semblance of humility and my pride in check.
 

Vigilant

Kingfisher
Woman
It is something I want to work on. I tend to shut down when I get extremely angry, which is helpful if you are in a stressful situation-- but it is probably not helpful in a marriage.

My husband is a combination of loud but occasionally passive-aggressive. His dad is quiet but thoughtful and his mom has a tendency to get dramatic or excessively emotional about things. I've had to curb my own anger dealing with her for the past year, like her blocking us from entering the house because I work with PEOPLE, but then having her say things to our son like, "who's your favorite grandma?"

I try to keep some semblance of humility and my pride in check.
Seriously though, I think you pausing with "fine", is wise. It is a time to process your response.

We each have our own patterns of coping and relationship dynamics are humorous at best, destructive at worst.
It's like walking the tight rope, the narrow way as a pilgrim.
 

Ah_Tibor

Woodpecker
Woman
Seriously though, I think you pausing with "fine", is wise. It is a time to process your response.

We each have our own patterns of coping and relationship dynamics are humorous at best, destructive at worst.
It's like walking the tight rope, the narrow way as a pilgrim.

Maybe. I try to not say things that can't be taken back.

I dated a guy when I was 19/20 where I yelled some nasty things at him at the end, just because I was angry. I don't think we were a good match at all, but I do regret acting like that.

Even though there's a bit more wiggle room in a marriage, you're stuck with things you said for the rest of your life.
 

Vigilant

Kingfisher
Woman
Maybe. I try to not say things that can't be taken back.

I dated a guy when I was 19/20 where I yelled some nasty things at him at the end, just because I was angry. I don't think we were a good match at all, but I do regret acting like that.

Even though there's a bit more wiggle room in a marriage, you're stuck with things you said for the rest of your life.
Yes, a good reminder that we are judged by God and man on every idle word we utter.

Idle meaning useless, and more specifically words that don't glorify Christ.
 

DelMarMisty

Robin
Woman
I struggle with self-control during anger myself, it's probably my worst deadly sin. I'm also not helped by the fact that I have a really acid tongue and have been known to really hurt relatives & friends if I start ranting and say things I can't take back. (When this was worse, I would actually think of insults to use later if I got into an argument with someone that I'd been butting heads with. I'd almost rehearse the conversation in advance.)

Mine stems from the fact that I've felt like I was dealt a bad break in life, and have never had it easy. I sit around thinking about how much further along I'd be now if I were luckier and had had a more stable upbringing. It's toxic, but at least I know where the source of the problem is, and it's been improving.

Finding the source is useful, it gives you a sense of perspective. Although learning how to deal with it comes when you let go of your pride - which is hard when it comes to anger, since it feels SO good to release it.
Ahh I empathise and understand this. My anger stems from similar things. The thing is also, much like you used to do, I plan ahead too. I even go as far to say them out of nowhere in my mind when I have an off day (much less now, thanks to prayers). And the pride, doesn't allow me to let it go... It is torturous. My anger also stems from the inability to forgive people, so the wrongdoings are in my mind constantly. Pride and anger is a futile mix.
 

DelMarMisty

Robin
Woman
I have a problem with anger and it’s not good. At least for me. I look at the world and i dont have the right word to describe how lost and evil and hopeless i feel it is. I read some story about some stupid trans or gay thing related to kids and I internally flip out. It’s not good for the body. In my head that anger turns into me going all terminator on everyone so that’s probably why God has not granted me superpowers. I’d be zapping humans left and right. Only thing that helps bring me down is prayer. Obviously. But that’s not the top of my sin list. I pray all the time to be less judgmental cause I really cannot stand male/female sluts and morbidly obese people. That also sets me off. I know, more prayer. Because they are Gods children too. I just can’t be around them. I can’t wait to have a log cabin in the woods. I need to start saving for that cause earth is not getting any better. I’ll add you to my ever increasing prayer notecards. Please pray for me as well. Thanks.
At the moment, much like you, I just can't seem to hack obese/fat people as well, especially ones who tell me that avocado is healthy and that they are getting vaccinated to protect themselves because they are 'scared' of the virus. Whilst I've seen them for years gorging on Lindt chocolate and KFC.

Ah, Lord have Mercy. I will pray for you sister.
 
Maybe it's not the anger-- you can't really control that--but how you respond. I get angry at my husband and do the I'M FINE thing a lot, which probably isn't the most constructive way to deal with things.

It's better to straight up say what the issue is. So that it can be dealt with. People can't read minds after all.

Never get the other person in a no-win situation. Like saying :"You always do this" or "you never do so and so".

The problem is x. Let solve x. If you want to vent about your day say so. If it humanly insurmountable lay your burdens on God(1 Peter 5:7) at least God may solve said problem far better than stewing in it.
 

Feyoder

Kingfisher
Does anybody else struggle with this sin? It's one where I feel ashamed when I approach God to pray because I've struggled with it for a long time and when I think it is getting better, one thing can tip me over the edge. I know most psychologists say "find the source of your anger" and maybe that is true to some extent, but I believe it is a spiritual battle. Not only this, when I'm angry I am capable of saying nasty things, as opposed to say a member of my family who has trouble saying mean things even during an angry episode.

Yes you can control what comes out of your mouth--no matter how angry you are. Bite you darn tongue if you need to.
 
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