Anxiety over my sins?

[Enhanced Eddie]

Blessings.

I grew up in the Christian faith and have never denied it totally, but I have strayed off the path for more than a decade.
This Easter I returned to Christ fully, and I have been in much upheaval since that day.
I have lived a life of sin, in particular fornication. I am very worried about the lost time and the late hour.

Have any of you experienced this anxiety over sins committed in the past?
If so, how have you dealt with it?
I understand that our sins are forgiven through Jesus Christ but I fear the coming suffering this world still holds for us.

Thank you.

Eddie

 

[SingularityOne]

 

[motardpdx]

Blessings.

I grew up in the Christian faith and have never denied it totally, but I have strayed off the path for more than a decade.
This Easter I returned to Christ fully, and I have been in much upheaval since that day.
I have lived a life of sin, in particular fornication. I am very worried about the lost time and the late hour.

Have any of you experienced this anxiety over sins committed in the past?
If so, how have you dealt with it?
I understand that our sins are forgiven through Jesus Christ but I fear the coming suffering this world still holds for us.

Thank you.

Eddie

Dear Eddie,
If what you state is true, I'll respond to your truth claims and hopefully encourage you in your faith. You mention that you have never "totally" denied your faith? Jesus took special care in restoring Peter after he denied 3 times of ever knowing him. You mentioned you have "fully" received the sacraments? I would encourage you to get baptized if you have not already. You state living "a life of sin" but the book of Psalms encourages us, "Remember not the sins of my youth, or my transgressions; according to thy steadfast love remember me, for thy goodness’ sake, O Lord" You also mention "anxiety over sins committed in the past" your newly found faith is fragile and needs to be encouraged, either through this forum, fellowship, church, or with your priest/pastor. You ask, "how have you dealt with it" this is dealt with in a manner of seconds, minutes, hours, days, months and eventually years. Peter the Apostle reminds us, "grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity." Eddie it's healthy and mature to "fear the coming suffering this world still holds for us" Jesus reminded us all, "beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves." encouraging words of diligence, sober spirit, and be on alert but also a warning of a time that is coming. Eddie, the scripture reminds us about what to do with "fear" of man and the "world" reassuring us, "do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul; rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell." Peace be with you...

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[JustinHS]

“Scrupulosity.” Look it up.

I’ve read that Martin Luther suffered from scrupulosity, which is evident in his teachings.

I’ve also suffered from scrupulosity early on in the faith. This was helpful during those times: https://blogs.ancientfaith.com/glor...-thoughts-depression-anxiety-soul-body-brain/

 

[Stoyan]

I used to have anxiety about my previous sins that I have committed in my life. My father used to tell me, "If you have pooped on the floor, clean up the poop, and don't do it again." He meant that if one has committed sins, then one should try to clean up after himself, means to amend the sins in some way. How exactly it varies from sin to sin. The second part of his saying means to use that as a lesson, think about it, and don't do something like that ever again.

You cannot return the past, but you can clean up after yourself to some extent, and you can control the future by intention to not do sin ever again. Think about what if you could have gone back in time to before you committed that sin, what would you do? The answer to this question, or something similar taking into account present circumstances, is what you should do now.

 

[paternos]

I used to have anxiety about my previous sins that I have committed in my life. My father used to tell me, "If you have pooped on the floor, clean up the poop, and don't do it again." He meant that if one has committed sins, then one should try to clean up after himself, means to amend the sins in some way. How exactly it varies from sin to sin. The second part of his saying means to use that as a lesson, think about it, and don't do something like that ever again.

You cannot return the past, but you can clean up after yourself to some extent, and you can control the future by intention to not do sin ever again. Think about what if you could have gone back in time to before you committed that sin, what would you do? The answer to this question, or something similar taking into account present circumstances, is what you should do now.

From my own experience I can say that I didn't see my relation to god clearly and pushed him away myself.

My earlier concept of God was an angry judgmental father in heaven. Who constantly said and looked over my shoulder what are you doing boy?

In my process of baptism, bible reading, church, I learned that God is a compass to me, mirror, Jesus is an inspiration to me, to go when I don't know what to do, I never had got to know my father basically.

Do you have an icon or cross on your wall? Just very practical, but in my bad days, I pushed God away, I didn't let him in my house. Spend time with him, take the criticism and you'll learn he is the bringer of life.

 

[get2choppaaa]

He who comes to Christ, even at the 11th hour... Is still welcome in the Kingdom.

 

[Enhanced Eddie]

Thanks everybody for your replies, they have been very helpful. I feel better about this now and I believe this fear is not truly Christian, is it? Is fear not the opposite of faith?

Ultimately I believe it is about getting back on the right path... stop sinning and instead doing good in the world as much as we can. This is how we can earn our redemption. God gives us a second chance.

 

[Penitent]

I feel better about this now and I believe this fear is not truly Christian, is it?

Fear is good for beginners, because it is a strong motivator to stop sinning:

• "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom." - Proverbs 9:10
• "...and by the fear of the Lord men depart from evil." - Proverbs 16:6.
• "O Lord, implant in me the root of good, Thy fear in my heart." - Prayer of St. John Chrysostom, according to the number of the hours of day and night

After we have made some progress in the spiritual life, we can move on from fear:

• "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love." - 1 John 4:18

God gives us a second chance.

God gives us as many chances as we need. As long as there is still breath in us, we can choose to turn to repentance and God will accept us.

 

[Cynllo]

Would the father want his prodigal son to return, only to lock himself in his room, crying and listening to Papa Roach? No, that's what Satan wants, fren.

 

[Yeagerist]

I'm glad that you're sincere in your repentance bro. That's all that matters to the Lord at the end of the day, He looks at the heart, not outside appearance.

If you're able to, it would be greatly helpful to find some Orthodox parish to go to.

On a side note, I think your apprehensions stem more from facing the outside world especially with everything that has been going on, and you're feeling the burden of "carrying" the truth, so to speak, in a world filled with deceptions. It's gonna be a lonely journey. I could relate to this since I feel the same way.