Hey, I was wondering if any of the 30+ guys here who basically spent their entire adolescence steeped in pickup and redpill forums managed to find God and actually get married, in spite of the sexual sins (and probably other sins) we've steeped ourselves in. I'm 36, and it feels more and more like my time has past to get married, which is probably a lie from the evil one. Still, anyone out there managed to find Christ, a godly wife, and a fruitful marriage?
Any former PUAs/Red Pill guys manage to get married and have Christian marriages?
- Thread starter BLMeToo
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I wasn't involved with the PUA community, just the sexual immorality part. I was exposed to pornography at a very young age and spent my adolescence addicted to it and fornication. I was a truly depraved, wretched creature that committed disgusting sins, but for some reason God saw fit to bless me with my wonderful wife at 26. We will be married 7 years this August and have a 5 year old boy, 2 year old girl, 11 month old girl and another boy due in August. We have both fully submitted to Christ.
You easily have another 10 years to go. Kids crank out fast, I'll have 3 under 3 soon
edit: 3 years pornography free. No slips. Praise God.
You easily have another 10 years to go. Kids crank out fast, I'll have 3 under 3 soon
edit: 3 years pornography free. No slips. Praise God.
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I was never in the PUA circles. That pre-dates me. But that didn't prevent me from engaging in an extremely sinful life of fornication for many many years. I was also an atheist and a liberal. But I did manage to get married a second time in my 40s. The woman I married was also not particularly religious (but was always good hearted and sensible). I've managed to marry, have children and transform my family into a godly family.
We attend mass regularly in a traditional Catholic parish, have good traditional Catholic friends, pray at meal times. We're home schooling now, and will send kids to Catholic school soon. But we could do better and this is a work in progress.
What I can tell you is that a man can lead his family in this direction. The first and most important is to work on your own holiness. Read the Bible, know your faith, avoid sin and pray. Do it seriously for yourself for awhile. As you learn your faith you gain the confidence to teach it and to lead your family in faith. In your prayers ask God to deepen your faith and to give you the grace to be a good teacher and a good leader.
You cannot do this if you are confused and full of self doubt. This is like exploring an unknown landscape - you must cut a trail yourself first and then go back and lead your family.
We attend mass regularly in a traditional Catholic parish, have good traditional Catholic friends, pray at meal times. We're home schooling now, and will send kids to Catholic school soon. But we could do better and this is a work in progress.
What I can tell you is that a man can lead his family in this direction. The first and most important is to work on your own holiness. Read the Bible, know your faith, avoid sin and pray. Do it seriously for yourself for awhile. As you learn your faith you gain the confidence to teach it and to lead your family in faith. In your prayers ask God to deepen your faith and to give you the grace to be a good teacher and a good leader.
You cannot do this if you are confused and full of self doubt. This is like exploring an unknown landscape - you must cut a trail yourself first and then go back and lead your family.
Way too many years of it here. Despite that, my wife and I are in our 7th year of a wonderful marriage now and have two daughters. We are trying our best to lead Christian lives and bring our girls up to be God fearing, discerning Christians. My self serving (previous) life costed me 7 years, minimum, that could have been spent with my wife and kids. We dated that long before I finally turned and realized that I needed to change course, at 38. We married when I was a few days from turning 39, and our first daughter was born 10 months later. A year and a half after that, our second daughter was born. Coming of age in the early 90s, I was steeped in secularism and materialism, as many of us were and still are. I have two great parents, but, unfortunately, they were sold the same bill of goods and encouraged my older sister and me to "live life, and whatever you do, don't get married or have kids until you're older." I don't fault them at all, but that was well-intentioned, bad advice. I'll be in my mid 60s, most likely, when my grandchildren come along, assuming my girls don't wait as long as I did.
Very true. Without having God in the first place in life, and being led by Him, man is just a poor, confused, blind creature incapable of leading himself, not speaking of leading others.
"And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch." Matthew 15:14
I don't, it's just the evil one trying to discourage me.
I do think, however, that as a society we should be marrying and starting families earlier in life, both men and women. I think even now at 36, though I'm overall healthy, that the older I get, the harder it will be to actually raise kids and bond with them, and that I could easily be in my 70's by the time I have grandkids. I don't want to be the old dad, but I have no choice.
I think as a whole we need to undo the mentality of getting married later in life, because not only has the birth rate plummeted, but our culture has yurned adulthood into a perpetual adolescence.
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Mark-David
Pigeon
I'm 35. Spent three years of my 20s very intensively into game /PUA. Literally the same night I read my first online Roosh article on game I went to a bar and had a "success." I was hooked after that, and even did what Roosh recounts in American Pilgrim - literally had one girl leave my home and another one arrive a very short time later the same evening. This bothered me for reasons I couldn't define until I eventually had a spiritual crisis, left it behind, and got married. Been happily married now for almost six years.
You're right. Getting married earlier is better. You have more children, and it is physically easier to do. Don't waste time.
Young men should have a goal of marriage before age 30. Women should try to marry before 24.
I absolutely agree. But what can we do to encourage/spare future generations from postponing marriage and family, especially given the rising costs of housing, inflation, and an increasingly materialistic culture? I worry that if I do have a wife and kids, that even if I encourage my kids to get married young, they'll look at me as a hypocrite because I didn't do the same myself.
I was into women since losing my virginity at 16. Things really ramped up when I went to Europe for 6 months after high school. Czech, Slovakia and Poland showed me a world a never dreamed of. Corfu brought it all together into a hedonism that would stay with me until after 30.
I was a terrible husband for the first few years of marriage (married at 30), as that life of hedonism kept an iron grip on me. I had developed a style, fitness and personality that made sex easy to obtain. Hedonism also convinced me that the women I was banging were only in it for the sex, too. But when you are in that world, you see and experience things that are horrible. Misogyny creeps its way into your mindset. You begin to lose hope. You become closed off to the women you hurt and you become cynical of women's intentions after seeing them do terrible things. You must become even more of a sociopath to stem those feelings.
I grew up Christian but never truly understood it. Not until my son was born when I was 35 did I realized how difficult is was for me to leave the life of pleasure behind. I began praying with my baby son every night. It was simple, but asking for help and the strength to see my mission through allowed me to find my current path. I stumbled a bit, but I am solid now. I love my wife and son more than I ever thought possible, and I am very grateful that my wife stood with me. Lord knows she had endless opportunities to leave.
I was a terrible husband for the first few years of marriage (married at 30), as that life of hedonism kept an iron grip on me. I had developed a style, fitness and personality that made sex easy to obtain. Hedonism also convinced me that the women I was banging were only in it for the sex, too. But when you are in that world, you see and experience things that are horrible. Misogyny creeps its way into your mindset. You begin to lose hope. You become closed off to the women you hurt and you become cynical of women's intentions after seeing them do terrible things. You must become even more of a sociopath to stem those feelings.
I grew up Christian but never truly understood it. Not until my son was born when I was 35 did I realized how difficult is was for me to leave the life of pleasure behind. I began praying with my baby son every night. It was simple, but asking for help and the strength to see my mission through allowed me to find my current path. I stumbled a bit, but I am solid now. I love my wife and son more than I ever thought possible, and I am very grateful that my wife stood with me. Lord knows she had endless opportunities to leave.
Yes, I am a former PUA, now with a happy family. I started learning pick up in 2008. Had a lot of success with women after that. When I was 33 I got tired of short term relationships and decided to get serious about finding an actual partner.
The most important thing I did was get clear on what I wanted in a partner. Before that I really didn't have any set criteria and just dated women who were pretty and amicable.
Very quickly after I got clear on what I wanted my mom introduced me to a nice church girl and we've been together ever since. We have a 1 year old daughter now and we have a good relationship.
36 is not too old at all. In the old days, that was often when men became eligible bachelors. I suggest going to church and make friends with people there, particularly older women because they love to play matchmaker. And don't be too picky about looks either. All women lose their luster when they hit the wall, but they never lose their integrity and work ethic.
I was always some kind of idealist. First I only dated girls with the goal to marry them. I mean I did not date someone if I could not imagine marrying her at the end of the process. And by dating I mean that I dated girls without sex and I did not even have sex as my primary goal. Yes, I was so pure when I was young. Then I had a girlfriend who I had sex with after a long dating period and it lasted many years. I really wanted to marry her but the relationship always went worse and worse. I became more beta by the time but I did not understand anything by then.
After the break up with her I had a bad case of oneitis that I tried to cure by picking up girls. That was the most sinful period of my life. I was not very "successful" but I have definitely sinned a lot. I gave up my old standard to only date a girl if I can imagine marrying her one day. By this time I have learned much about the nature of women.
I have finally found some PUA material and I exactly remember that I have used that knowledge on my later wife. So I have seduced her using the sinful knowledge. We started dating.
I was a healing blue pill beta with basic PUA knowledge by this time. But I had the standard that I do not "officially" date anyone who smokes. She was smoking by the time. I told her that to be my official girlfriend she must not smoke. And she quit smoking! I did not know the Red Pill by the time but just by having this standard I have asserted some dominance.
I have proposed her because I have felt something unique how well we go along... So it was still a move by the blue pill idealist in me.
By this time I have started to find Red Pill stuff on the Internet. In the political sense: how fiat money is a scam, who are all behind this, David Icke talking about how the globalist want to create a global pandemic and vaccinate everyone. Similar nonsense stuff, LOL. In health sense: how mainstream health advice makes you ill. And in women sense: I have read all the stuff on trp.red or whatever was the URL. How being a blue pill beta ruins everything. It shed light onto all my faults in my earlier life. I understood it all! I found so much useful information that I have became an information junkie by this time.
I have started to work on becoming a real leader. I have used some techniques to get rid of my blue pilled beta past and become the best version of myself. For me The Red Pill was not a sinful experience because I have used it for the purpose of my family that I was going to establish. I really think that much of the Red Pill knowledge is useful and not sinful in itself.
I have demanded that after marriage we will have a baby as soon as possible. We stopped consuming MSM. We started to eat healthy at home. And by the time our first baby was born we have created a healthy environment both physically and spiritually.
This is my story with PUA and Red Pill. I think that there is useful knowledge there and that part is not inherently sinful if used right. You have to know how to attract women if you want a wife and your father does not buy you one! You have to know why and how not to become a pathetic beta if you want to avoid divorce! I will definitely teach some of that knowledge to my son when its time comes.
After the break up with her I had a bad case of oneitis that I tried to cure by picking up girls. That was the most sinful period of my life. I was not very "successful" but I have definitely sinned a lot. I gave up my old standard to only date a girl if I can imagine marrying her one day. By this time I have learned much about the nature of women.
I have finally found some PUA material and I exactly remember that I have used that knowledge on my later wife. So I have seduced her using the sinful knowledge. We started dating.
I was a healing blue pill beta with basic PUA knowledge by this time. But I had the standard that I do not "officially" date anyone who smokes. She was smoking by the time. I told her that to be my official girlfriend she must not smoke. And she quit smoking! I did not know the Red Pill by the time but just by having this standard I have asserted some dominance.
I have proposed her because I have felt something unique how well we go along... So it was still a move by the blue pill idealist in me.
By this time I have started to find Red Pill stuff on the Internet. In the political sense: how fiat money is a scam, who are all behind this, David Icke talking about how the globalist want to create a global pandemic and vaccinate everyone. Similar nonsense stuff, LOL. In health sense: how mainstream health advice makes you ill. And in women sense: I have read all the stuff on trp.red or whatever was the URL. How being a blue pill beta ruins everything. It shed light onto all my faults in my earlier life. I understood it all! I found so much useful information that I have became an information junkie by this time.
I have started to work on becoming a real leader. I have used some techniques to get rid of my blue pilled beta past and become the best version of myself. For me The Red Pill was not a sinful experience because I have used it for the purpose of my family that I was going to establish. I really think that much of the Red Pill knowledge is useful and not sinful in itself.
I have demanded that after marriage we will have a baby as soon as possible. We stopped consuming MSM. We started to eat healthy at home. And by the time our first baby was born we have created a healthy environment both physically and spiritually.
This is my story with PUA and Red Pill. I think that there is useful knowledge there and that part is not inherently sinful if used right. You have to know how to attract women if you want a wife and your father does not buy you one! You have to know why and how not to become a pathetic beta if you want to avoid divorce! I will definitely teach some of that knowledge to my son when its time comes.
No. I’m about to be 33 and now are when things are really starting to come together. Going out and pulling has required the least amount of effort on my part than it ever has. I’ve come so far in my journey. I love being single and having options. Seeing the horror some people I know go through is enough to never go the marriage route.
I want the best for everyone no matter how you view life or what you believe in. I’m happy just for the fact that you’re making yourself a better person reading Roosh’s material. It’s all thanks to him I’m the man I am today and how I view the world. I see no changes coming soon and I’m going to cherish everything he wrote before his big transition. I love his writing.
I want the best for everyone no matter how you view life or what you believe in. I’m happy just for the fact that you’re making yourself a better person reading Roosh’s material. It’s all thanks to him I’m the man I am today and how I view the world. I see no changes coming soon and I’m going to cherish everything he wrote before his big transition. I love his writing.
Somewhere I may have recounted this but I recall the first time I ever came across redpill was early to mid in my professional career, as I knew I would be destined for a solid material life/success and wondered why the west was so bad at producing any women who were suitable marriage candidates. Specifically, I remember on a break late night working searching for such ideas to explain things and I came across Roosh talking about how girls in other countries were far better and it resonated as a likely explanation. Like @hkhathaj (though I wouldn't call myself idealist) I always knew what was right and was orthodox, and while not a deal breaker if the girl is christian, I always found myself to be an uncommon combination in America where few people were actually religious and if they were, it was totally unlike a devoted orthodox person. What's more, even if you were roman catholic and had sensibility about religion in a sense, they were just as staunch a defender of their faith (even though few know barely anything about it). These kind of things lower the possibility pool dramatically, especially in an age materialism and modern women working type stuff reigned.
Anything can happen and I'm not despairing because even among my sins I still trust God, I just have become skeptical that when you look at history this sort of thing where tons of men, even really solid men, get locked out is all that uncommon. They died in wars. They were sent overseas to conquer since nothing was left for them. There's a reason most of us descended from relatively few men, overall.
I am totally opposed to the idea pushed that you'll attract what you are like, since I know many examples of that not being the case, as long as you aren't a total degenerate (and as a repentant person you aren't, especially). God can work through that and has many times, what's more, it is far more important for the woman to have particular characteristics since it's easier for men with time to commit if the situation is right, while the opposite is not true (less harmonious).
Far more men want to get married than is portrayed, and the reason is that we have a gynocentric society and media. The question is, and always has been for this forum, is the poster matching up characteristic wise in life to someone who should demand/require/desire the particular type of woman that he has in mind?
Anything can happen and I'm not despairing because even among my sins I still trust God, I just have become skeptical that when you look at history this sort of thing where tons of men, even really solid men, get locked out is all that uncommon. They died in wars. They were sent overseas to conquer since nothing was left for them. There's a reason most of us descended from relatively few men, overall.
I am totally opposed to the idea pushed that you'll attract what you are like, since I know many examples of that not being the case, as long as you aren't a total degenerate (and as a repentant person you aren't, especially). God can work through that and has many times, what's more, it is far more important for the woman to have particular characteristics since it's easier for men with time to commit if the situation is right, while the opposite is not true (less harmonious).
Far more men want to get married than is portrayed, and the reason is that we have a gynocentric society and media. The question is, and always has been for this forum, is the poster matching up characteristic wise in life to someone who should demand/require/desire the particular type of woman that he has in mind?
As much as I'd like a family and would be a good parent and husband (I believe), there are some shockingly brutal examples of friends having to deal with their wives that make the whole thing a daunting scenario on average. I personally don't think I'd ever marry such a a woman, but the truth is that when that's the case you are at a way higher risk of never getting married. Especially nowadays.
It is funny that there is a grass is always greener thing going on. I think modern life's atomization is the worst part of being single, but not having to deal with women's bullshit is a pretty big perk. Not having a family and experiencing kids is a big drawback to being single, especially if you have good qualities and can provide.
Parents pretty much being hands off is one of the big reasons why particular matchmaking doesn't happen anymore, and it is a loss, since mostly this is do to self centeredness or an idea of romantic love that is generally BS and a feminine aspect of the society.
Personally speaking in my opinon playing the pick up game gets old and boring
Getting married and having a family life gives pleasure that endures.
I myself never envied casanova types
I thought it was frivolous crap.
Pl
Getting married and having a family life gives pleasure that endures.
I myself never envied casanova types
I thought it was frivolous crap.
Pl
On average. That is the key. If you study the theory of Red Pill for marriage (I was a reader of the Married Red Pill thread) you will easily see the errors that most men commit. It is very easy to be better than 90-95% just because those people do not have the right direction how to become a proper husband. (And that is in line with christian teaching I refer to the Red Pill because that is what I know better until now, I have to admit.)
I would not say that it is possible to handle the most corrupt women. But if your choice of woman is at least somewhat sane then you have a good chance to maintain a good relationship. If you do your best and with the help of God.
Just one example: once we were working together with a colleague late into the night. His wife nagged him on the phone every 20 minutes and he always tried to calm her down with promises that he will go home soon. I have sent a message that we will work late and I don't yet know when I will be able to go home. Later she sent me a message that the children and she went to sleep and my dinner is in the fridge. This is the difference of relationship that being the oak tree that you have to be can achieve. I think that the oak tree metaphor is very positive in the Married Red Pill community.
This same colleague was now nagged by his wife that they should get vaxxed and he could not resist. He told me that he is too tired to fight against the world and even against his wife. He just submitted and took the vax. My wife is totally on my side in this pandemic even though her whole family is on the vax side. We don't have any conflict about it. She only complained that it is hard for her to have this conflict with the world: even neighbors started to nag her about the vax. I have assured that I will help her emotionally and maybe we will go undergrund if really necessary. Either openly anti-vax or underground but our covenant is not threatened by outside forces.
You know you always have the threat that you may fail at some point. Maybe I am too confident. But that does not mean it is better to not even try it! A man has to take risk to achieve goals.
I discovered the hardcore PUA stuff like what Roosh used to do after I'd met my wife to be. I was basically searching around online, looking for advice on women and which way to go with my life. While I recognized that much of what the PUA crowd said about women and relationships was true and explained my previous experiences with women better than mainstream ideas, I also didn't like the path that I imagined the PUA lifestyle would take me down, so I decided to get married and have a family instead.
Having dinner with Ross Jeffries was the beginning of the end for my "PUA" life. I realized I had no interest in being like that at his age. Maybe if we pray for him enough he will come around as well.