Any former PUAs/Red Pill guys manage to get married and have Christian marriages?

I absolutely agree. But what can we do to encourage/spare future generations from postponing marriage and family, especially given the rising costs of housing, inflation, and an increasingly materialistic culture? I worry that if I do have a wife and kids, that even if I encourage my kids to get married young, they'll look at me as a hypocrite because I didn't do the same myself.
You're over thinking things far into the future that you have no control over. I'm in my late 30s, I missed a couple of great opportunities for relationships/marriages because I was blinded by the PUA stuff in my early 30s, to be fair I never would have met any of those women otherwise, I had spent the preceding years dutifully going to church and being single for a decade. I've since repented of my sins and gotten back to Christ and I'm much more prepared for marriage than I would have been, despite my regrets. Fortune has found me back in the US taking care of disabled/aging parents for several years but I hope to return to my native EE periodically starting soon to try and find a woman to marry.

Sometimes I get caught up in the thinking about how old my kids will be if I don't get married until age X or which anniversaries I'll celebrate with my wife and how old I'll be, etc. Forget about it, if you want to make God laugh tell him about your plans. Props to my friends who got married in their 20s and practically have teenage kids now. God-willing I'll be married in my 40s and will do the best I can for my family for the rest of my life, however long God deigns that to be. I see the current "wandering in the desert" as a time of preparation spiritually, physically and financially in order to shoulder the burdens of parenthood in the future. The only time I might consider it "too late" to have kids where your advanced age will be a limiting factor in being part of their life and perhaps even becoming a burden is if you wait until 50+.

Replying to the OP, I know a guy who got married recently who had been a dedicated PUA, associated with some of the best-known names. I don't know how strong his spiritual life is, but at the very least it shows how leaving that life behind is possible. We agree that a feeling of disgust with the mechanical PUA lifestyle was a turning point for us. For any guys thinking they can play the field to find that special unicorn to marry, you are wasting your time. The years lost that you could have spent already raising your family are priceless. Don't overrate the importance of what the woman should be like besides basic Christian virtues, it's your job as a man to lead the family in the right direction.
 

lskdfjldsf

Pelican
Orthodox Catechumen
Gold Member
I was pretty burnt out by hookups and transactional dating by the time I found Roosh's website. I hit a serious point of frustration with women being slutty, easily manipulated, and with their actions constantly defying the conventional wisdom mothers and feminized society at large tend to impart. I never had any trouble with girls (tall with a good job), but after reading the first article, the light bulb went off and I thought "this explains it" followed by a good half hour of laughing.

Going down the feminism rabbit hole (basically, we've been lied to about female nature) led me down a dozen other rabbit holes -- race, immigration, religion. A year or two later, I opened up the Bible and went from there. I found a good woman, married, and started a family. Understanding female nature is critical to maintaining a solid marriage, and despite years of meaningless, destructive hedonism, I'm glad others had already connected the dots for me.
 

Blade Runner

Ostrich
Orthodox
Having dinner with Ross Jeffries was the beginning of the end for my "PUA" life. I realized I had no interest in being like that at his age. Maybe if we pray for him enough he will come around as well.
I remember this guy, was it sorta creepy, weird or just ... sorta stupid and oddly far fetched?

Where did you have occasion to do so?

I think the problem with the long time starvation of sex in the modern day for so many, religious and even including the less manly/capable, is that one has to experience how (in a certain sense since the early marriage thing doesn't really take place) overrated sex is, so to speak. But until you do, you are driven with a pent up urge. It's sad that this happens to many, to be honest.
 

Blade Runner

Ostrich
Orthodox
You're over thinking things far into the future that you have no control over. I'm in my late 30s, I missed a couple of great opportunities for relationships/marriages because I was blinded by the PUA stuff in my early 30s, to be fair I never would have met any of those women otherwise, I had spent the preceding years dutifully going to church and being single for a decade. I've since repented of my sins and gotten back to Christ and I'm much more prepared for marriage than I would have been, despite my regrets. Fortune has found me back in the US taking care of disabled/aging parents for several years but I hope to return to my native EE periodically starting soon to try and find a woman to marry.
Great points. I've thought the same myself - but I wasn't even really blinded by any PUA, I always sorta saw it for what it was. I sadly knew that meandering off the reservation was wrong, but I had also been (even with my other sins) devoted to church and still am, and I'm successful but in this generation is literally means almost nothing. Many are surprised (especially girls who can just pick up a phone and get crazy options/numbers of dates) that those of us who have done well and have quite a few things going for us (and are thus selective, why shouldn't we be) will have encountered so few quality girls in this generation it is very difficult. Especially if you are actually christian. Yes, you can meet great personality uggos here and there (when couldn't you do that?) or decent looking but combative personality types, but the key again is meeting the right people in the early to mid 20s. In multicultural America, I met girls that I clicked with personality wise and even though were attractive, but they would be non christian, skeptics, etc etc people would have a harder time being orthodox, let's say.

I think some women are collateral damage to the culture and the delay in life (don't look til your 30) but they have a lot more to blame on their own desire to get someone pretty far out of their league. I see this with douchy guys occasionally, but the past 20 years of women 5s or 6s thinking they are going to get men at least 2 points higher than they are is palpable.

I often wonder if the EE thing is truly accomplishable, Nick. Any insight or input there?
 

Blade Runner

Ostrich
Orthodox
I was pretty burnt out by hookups and transactional dating by the time I found Roosh's website. I hit a serious point of frustration with women being slutty, easily manipulated, and with their actions constantly defying the conventional wisdom mothers and feminized society at large tend to impart. I never had any trouble with girls (tall with a good job), but after reading the first article, the light bulb went off and I thought "this explains it" followed by a good half hour of laughing.

Going down the feminism rabbit hole (basically, we've been lied to about female nature) led me down a dozen other rabbit holes -- race, immigration, religion. A year or two later, I opened up the Bible and went from there. I found a good woman, married, and started a family. Understanding female nature is critical to maintaining a solid marriage, and despite years of meaningless, destructive hedonism, I'm glad others had already connected the dots for me.
Here we have yet another example where God didn't "penalize" in the same vein that he won't "reward" you necessarily, for being faithful or obedient to His will. Sometimes it happens, and sometimes it doesn't - our is purely retrospective analysis. It's one of the things that has bothered me about even faithful or religious people for years, and I am a devoted believer. There is a randomness in the world that we can and never will understand, and that's why we have the commandments, which are hard enough to keep - God knows we have no chance at understanding the rest.
 

MichaelWitcoff

Ostrich
Orthodox
I remember this guy, was it sorta creepy, weird or just ... sorta stupid and oddly far fetched?

Where did you have occasion to do so?

I think the problem with the long time starvation of sex in the modern day for so many, religious and even including the less manly/capable, is that one has to experience how (in a certain sense since the early marriage thing doesn't really take place) overrated sex is, so to speak. But until you do, you are driven with a pent up urge. It's sad that this happens to many, to be honest.
Had dinner with him at a mutual friend’s house. You get the distinct feeling that he is “doing something to you,” deliberately creating an effect of sorts, and I felt like I had to shower after being around him. Just a dark, dirty energy that is not stemming from a good place.
 

lskdfjldsf

Pelican
Orthodox Catechumen
Gold Member
If rewards and punishment were a guarantee, everyone living would be a believer. The lack of both is the basis of faith. The world we're living in today will never make sense and there's definitely a randomness to it that defies logic, but it's the next world where rewards and punishment will be handed out with absolute certainty.
 
Great points. I've thought the same myself - but I wasn't even really blinded by any PUA, I always sorta saw it for what it was. I sadly knew that meandering off the reservation was wrong, but I had also been (even with my other sins) devoted to church and still am, and I'm successful but in this generation is literally means almost nothing. Many are surprised (especially girls who can just pick up a phone and get crazy options/numbers of dates) that those of us who have done well and have quite a few things going for us (and are thus selective, why shouldn't we be) will have encountered so few quality girls in this generation it is very difficult. Especially if you are actually christian. Yes, you can meet great personality uggos here and there (when couldn't you do that?) or decent looking but combative personality types, but the key again is meeting the right people in the early to mid 20s. In multicultural America, I met girls that I clicked with personality wise and even though were attractive, but they would be non christian, skeptics, etc etc people would have a harder time being orthodox, let's say.

I think some women are collateral damage to the culture and the delay in life (don't look til your 30) but they have a lot more to blame on their own desire to get someone pretty far out of their league. I see this with douchy guys occasionally, but the past 20 years of women 5s or 6s thinking they are going to get men at least 2 points higher than they are is palpable.

I often wonder if the EE thing is truly accomplishable, Nick. Any insight or input there?
If you mean moving to EE and meeting a woman/starting a family then yes it's doable, but potentially very difficult. It makes sense for me because it's my native land, though I was born and raised in America so I was a "third culture kid". I know a handful of guys from the UK who moved to EE and half are married thus far but none are firm Christians. For American guys to make the move is a much taller order because they aren't even EU citizens, so logistics like residency and work/taxes get more complicated. Culturally it's also very different and although you can get by with English in most big cities, you're condemning yourself to an expat ghetto unless you are really dedicated to learning any of the inevitably challenging and fairly niche languages in the region. It'd be more realistic to meet a woman to marry and bring her back to the US but that's a tough hill to climb by itself.

Anyone considering such options would be wise to travel to a prospective country multiple times and really try to discern whether such a move makes sense, it is definitely not for the majority. Meeting a potential mate during such a trip would make things much easier and less risky than relocating as a single man. For American (or at least culturally American) men, I would suggest moving away from your liberal city/metro area if that's where you live and trying to meet someone through your church or local social network, at most to move to a more conservative state because relocating abroad is a huge commitment with no guarantee of success. EE has its own challenges and those countries are under constant cultural assault from the EU and the mass media promoting gayness, feminism, attacking Christianity, etc. The average millenial or younger woman in the big cities is not that much more conservative than their counterparts in Western Europe or the US and they are all potential prey to the toxic propaganda that comes out of their smartphones.
 
Hey, I was wondering if any of the 30+ guys here who basically spent their entire adolescence steeped in pickup and redpill forums managed to find God and actually get married, in spite of the sexual sins (and probably other sins) we've steeped ourselves in. I'm 36, and it feels more and more like my time has past to get married, which is probably a lie from the evil one. Still, anyone out there managed to find Christ, a godly wife, and a fruitful marriage?
Initially joined this forum to discuss pick up game, but woke up, accepted Christ and got lucky marrying an amazing woman. Not everyone will be as lucky.

How is your walk with the Lord? If you are nowhere near living a Godly life, you are not ready for the struggles and hardships of leading a healthy, fruitful marriage. If you got married today without accepting Christ, I'd bet some good money you'll end up divorced within a few years.

However, it's not too late for you. The past two decades you wasted on chasing thots was valuable time you could have spent looking for a strong, loyal, Christian girl. I suggest you date to marry from now on. Don't waste any more time.
 

Blade Runner

Ostrich
Orthodox
In 1864 Rhett Butler was 36 and Scarlett O'Hara 20, and they made a match :laughter: This kind of thing has been happening for a long time.
I think it's far more reasonable and do-able than anyone lets on to nowadays even, the problem is that you'll get a first roadblock scenario where the social understanding is that it shouldn't happen for some stupid reason (in the West). If you are actually fit and with it, together and the younger girl has no problem with it, people will eventually make excuses for their former silly age gap shaming position and just reward the girl for "going after who she loves" or some other bullshit.
 

Philosopher

Kingfisher
Orthodox
Hey, I was wondering if any of the 30+ guys here who basically spent their entire adolescence steeped in pickup and redpill forums managed to find God and actually get married, in spite of the sexual sins (and probably other sins) we've steeped ourselves in. I'm 36, and it feels more and more like my time has past to get married, which is probably a lie from the evil one. Still, anyone out there managed to find Christ, a godly wife, and a fruitful marriage?
I did, see my Honeymoon from Hell thread. Same age as you
 

thetruewhitenorth

Sparrow
Orthodox
Hey, I was wondering if any of the 30+ guys here who basically spent their entire adolescence steeped in pickup and redpill forums managed to find God and actually get married, in spite of the sexual sins (and probably other sins) we've steeped ourselves in. I'm 36, and it feels more and more like my time has past to get married, which is probably a lie from the evil one. Still, anyone out there managed to find Christ, a godly wife, and a fruitful marriage?
I spent all my 20s and early 30s leading a sinful life (pornography, some hook ups, alcohol). Probably not too the extreme like some of the PUA guys I had known.

However, Lord never left me, he allowed me to meet my wife when I was ready for it. We have a child and second one is on the way. We're working on our faith together, she is way more pious than me. Trying to go to church whenever we can, even though its not easy with a small child on hands.

Do not lose hope, your time hasnt passed by any means. I would say, if I may, consider foreign born women of Christian upbringing. You'll have more chances that way.

Also, say Latin American or Asian women dont care as much about age difference as western ones. You could meet a good, Godly woman under 30, so you'll have plenty of time to pop 2-3 kids.
 
I discovered the hardcore PUA stuff like what Roosh used to do after I'd met my wife to be. I was basically searching around online, looking for advice on women and which way to go with my life. While I recognized that much of what the PUA crowd said about women and relationships was true and explained my previous experiences with women better than mainstream ideas, I also didn't like the path that I imagined the PUA lifestyle would take me down, so I decided to get married and have a family instead.

I still think of myself as being a "red pilled" man. I think the philosophy of red pill brings up many excellent points about the nature of women, that modern men definitely need to know. I enjoy watching red pill themed videos on YT, and there are actually some with people who do it from a Christian perspective. And as I read the Bible, I am amazed at how "red pilled" it is about women, and how men need to be vigilant and strong to not be brought down by them. In the ancient world, women potentially could be just as dangerous, or even more so, than now. And the Bible tells of many examples.

Back in the late nineties was my "heyday" for dating and going to clubs. I was not aware of pua back then. I'm over six feet tall, but only average looking, and was in college at the time. I did not do so well with the ladies, except for one night, when a wealthy friend of mine let me borrow one of his super expensive Brooks Brothers suits (we were the exact same size). I went to a club and suddenly the most beautiful women wanted to dance with me! Lol Well, that was an eye opening experience... I didn't take anyone home, but then I didn't know game and was way too much of a nice guy.

The internet, a new thing, was what helped me. I would meet women in chatrooms and then start dating them. I was looking for long term girlfriends and not one night stands. I actually met some good women this way, that lead to real relationships. I probably should have married one of them, who was a solid person and thought I was the one.

I was fascinated with the pua movement as it began to form. I kind of wish I had known game back when I went to clubs, because I struck out every single time. What's ironic is that my biological father was an "alpha chad" who did so well at them. And even into his sixties, he would bring women back to his apartment for one night stands. I would sometimes hear their voices in the background of a phone conversation. I have not seen him since I was two, in part because my "alpha widow" mother got fed up and left the state. I always played with the idea of visiting him, but never actually did, for multiple reasons. I would generally call him once a month for around twenty minutes. The guy was very personable and charming, but without a sense of responsibility. I'm his only child, at least as far as he knows.

My father was sort of a legend in his era. At one time he lived in a large apartment building, directly across from an international modeling agency. He would see the many beautiful women going in and out of their doors each day, and keep an eye on them. When he noticed one who definitely noticed him, he would shout for them to stop just looking and instead cross the street and get to know him! Lol This actually worked for him quite well, and he was sad to see the agency eventually move away.

When he was in the army, serving in Korea during the war, he looked older than he was. On an R & R, he bought a quality suit and pretended to be a journalist, while visiting the bars and clubs. He ended up picking up a lovely young female captain and spending the night with her. But the next morning, she managed to figure out that he was enlisted, and not a journalist! She was horrified and swore him to secrecy, for the sake of her military career!

He is now at a VA nursing home, and not in the best shape. I have not talked to him on the phone in a long time. I did send him a Philippines postcard when I moved here, but I received no reply. I should have visited him years ago, when he was in much better shape and lived in his apartment. But I did not want to "crimp his style," and interrupt his Don Juan lifestyle. He had three brothers who were dedicated family men, and I suppose when they die, they will be surrounded by loved ones.

I have been with more women than the "national male average," but a part of me is not satisfied with that. I think about how if I had known game, I could have done vastly better. And yet I could also have a bad case of herpes right now, along with a higher scorecard. I realize the pua lifestyle is ultimately a dead-end, but I suppose it bothers me that others had their crazy fun, and yet I did not, despite the father I had (who left the picture when I was only two, and he never paid child support).

And yes, I feel guilt before God about feeling this way. I should just be grateful for the blessings in my life, and the Filipina by my side. An event that churned these matters up in my mind was moving to the Philippines. I see so many young and attractive women here, who at times actually show definite interest in me. I realize it is more for financial security, but still. And I will say that for my age, that I look good. I am tall and relatively fit. Being a middle aged guy, I suppose this is the stuff of a mid-life crisis! Lol

I suspect because I did not have to my mind "sufficient fun" as a young man, that a part of me wants to get my fill now, in middle age, in this to me, exotic country. And because my relationship with a college educated single mom of four is troubled (she is very bad with money, bipolar, sexually abused as a child, uses sex deprivation as a tool, her four kids hate me, the biological father is a deadbeat who pays for nothing and will not help with their future college expenses, she has a mountain of debt, her father manipulate things from the shadows, I have all the responsibility, none of the authority, etc.), I don't feel the strong bond that I should. She works as a bookkeeper for a medium sized corporation, but is not paid very much, which is common here.

We now have a large house together that I can barely afford, rather than the child/children that we had both wanted. But she was in her late thirties when we got started trying, and two miscarriages resulted. At this point I am not sure if we will ever have children together. But a friend back in America gave me some good tips about nutrition during pregnancy to prevent miscarriage, which I sorely wish I had known about earlier. I feel like my Filipina partner should have googled, "nutritional tips to avoid miscarriage," rather than watching countless mindless Tik Tok videos. But then I should have thought about doing that same google search, after the first miscarriage. I just didn't realize nutrition could potentially solve such a problem.

I need to redouble my efforts at daily prayer, regular fasting and daily scripture study. I do go to Mass with my partner, almost every week.

Well, this thread sure brought up many issues in my life! Lol Any insights on what I wrote would be appreciated. Thank you.
 
Last edited:
Top