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Anyone else feel general dislike toward members of your own ethnic group?
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<blockquote data-quote="TravelerKai" data-source="post: 1020727" data-attributes="member: 7561"><p>In my opinion it's actually a lack of leadership, not loyalty to family. Loyalty in itself is not a bad thing. What makes people think it is, is when bad decisions are made on behalf of loyalty, without taking any leadership into account. </p><p></p><p>I gave an example a while back about a old college buddy of mine that took control of his dad's crabbing business and kicked his dad and brother out of it, all because he took leadership and transformed it with fresh ideas. I lost count of all the times he would be crying and pissed off about how his family was shitting on him our first two years in school. He sucked it up and stepped up. Got a business degree with accounting, became fluent in Spanish, and took it over. </p><p></p><p>Another one was disavowed by his father because he joined the military and refused to do what he was told. Now they have an amazing relationship and he runs businesses. The military helped him get some discipline that he knew he lacked. HE father did not agree, but even if you disagree, you need to act with conviction and have a plan. He had a plan and it worked out in due time. </p><p></p><p>Here is the thing about leadership. You cannot <strong>effectively</strong> lead others, if you are <strong>unwilling to serve others first</strong>. Sacrificing and serving your family helps to build the foundation for that. Family is your first company. You can run it into the ground, or learn how to work with others, serve them to gain respect, then lead the family into the future. It translates outside the house and will serve you well.</p><p></p><p>As a young man you have to eventually brush off petty feelings about family and move forward and start making attempts to guide them, because nothing is worse than selfishly disappearing for many years, only to come back when they cannot even take care of themselves. Do you expect them to trust you past a stranger at that point?</p><p></p><p>It's better to maintain the trust first, then work from within the system, and transform it into what you want it to look like. Building a solid family system is not always buildable overnight. For every family that pulls up in one generation, there are many that took 3-5. Look at Trump's family. You think that is all him? No. Either his grandfather set the tone or someone way earlier than him first. Look at Romney's family. Many Jewish ones, Orthodox and Non-Orthodox. Someone set the tone a long time ago so that no one has to try to overhaul the whole family. </p><p></p><p>Chinese are no different. Most had to start over after the 70s from scratch, while some did not. My wife's great grandmother came from a successful family before the 70s and it followed the family regardless of the political effects. Her mother's side, even more so, they were doctors, etc.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TravelerKai, post: 1020727, member: 7561"] In my opinion it's actually a lack of leadership, not loyalty to family. Loyalty in itself is not a bad thing. What makes people think it is, is when bad decisions are made on behalf of loyalty, without taking any leadership into account. I gave an example a while back about a old college buddy of mine that took control of his dad's crabbing business and kicked his dad and brother out of it, all because he took leadership and transformed it with fresh ideas. I lost count of all the times he would be crying and pissed off about how his family was shitting on him our first two years in school. He sucked it up and stepped up. Got a business degree with accounting, became fluent in Spanish, and took it over. Another one was disavowed by his father because he joined the military and refused to do what he was told. Now they have an amazing relationship and he runs businesses. The military helped him get some discipline that he knew he lacked. HE father did not agree, but even if you disagree, you need to act with conviction and have a plan. He had a plan and it worked out in due time. Here is the thing about leadership. You cannot [b]effectively[/b] lead others, if you are [b]unwilling to serve others first[/b]. Sacrificing and serving your family helps to build the foundation for that. Family is your first company. You can run it into the ground, or learn how to work with others, serve them to gain respect, then lead the family into the future. It translates outside the house and will serve you well. As a young man you have to eventually brush off petty feelings about family and move forward and start making attempts to guide them, because nothing is worse than selfishly disappearing for many years, only to come back when they cannot even take care of themselves. Do you expect them to trust you past a stranger at that point? It's better to maintain the trust first, then work from within the system, and transform it into what you want it to look like. Building a solid family system is not always buildable overnight. For every family that pulls up in one generation, there are many that took 3-5. Look at Trump's family. You think that is all him? No. Either his grandfather set the tone or someone way earlier than him first. Look at Romney's family. Many Jewish ones, Orthodox and Non-Orthodox. Someone set the tone a long time ago so that no one has to try to overhaul the whole family. Chinese are no different. Most had to start over after the 70s from scratch, while some did not. My wife's great grandmother came from a successful family before the 70s and it followed the family regardless of the political effects. Her mother's side, even more so, they were doctors, etc. [/QUOTE]
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