Are most married couples unhappy?

RoadKill

Sparrow
Talk about blackpilled. Going from reading redbeard’s thread to reading this thread is giving me two very different outlooks on marriage. Was thinking of getting married in my late 20s, can anyone give guidance on this? God bless.

Be content with yourself and stay single. Comfort your friends who decide to get married (that is, if they're allowed to have friends after marriage) once they are miserable.

If you make the mistake of getting married, bail when she shows signs of insanity or if she starts pulling you away from your family and friends. She sees you as her property alone and she don't want to share you.

If you make the mistake of getting married and have a kid or more than one kid, commit to raising that child(ren) as best you can and don't be the one to end the marriage. Kids need both parents to remain married until they become young adults. Pour all your energy into parenthood and be the kind of dad they can always count on for wisdom, guidance and security. Accept that your kid's needs are greater than yours. They are the cross you must carry daily. Don't spoil them. Teach them responsibility, perseverance and respect. Stay with their mother until your minimal fatherly obligation is met (18 years of age/graduate high school). After that, bail if you feel like it.

If you find yourself a single parent, under no circumstances should you re-marry. Stay single and commit your life to them until the youngest turns 18. Fight to have more time with them and don't let up. They'll need you.

RK
 

bucky

Ostrich
About the "your wife will stop having sex with you but she'll probably have lots of great sex with other guys" direction the last few posts are going in...I don't know. Obviously it happens. The thing with her not wanting to have sex with me has never happened to me personally in an LTR or a marriage, even when that was the only thing that was going well. I'd be verging on boasting if I tried to guess as to why, but I just want to say that it's never been a problem for me and I'm hardly superhuman, so I hope the young guys following along take the idea that almost all marriages are sexless for the husband while the wife inevitably goes out whoring behind his back with a grain of salt.

I do feel like a lot of my wife being still being very into me physically after almost ten years together comes down to 1) my being fit and athletic looking and 2) basic knowledge of game. I feel like RVF is moving away from #2 which is understandable because it has great potential to be used for evil, but a lot of the game basics are essential to keeping a woman happy in a relationship and are also fairly counter intuitive, so I wish there were an appropriate way to teach them to younger men without encouraging them to sin.
 

Maecenas

Sparrow
How long have you been married? After I left my wife, we started having hot frequent sex again. However, I felt burned forever by that point. My angry and distant approach to banging her was clearly a major factor in making her enjoy it more. We are both Christian, although I have become upset with God over how all of this has played out.

Some men get lucky with marriage, maybe 10-15 percent. For the rest, I don't think there is a winning play. I suppose it makes sense to roll the dice and see if you will be one of the lucky ones, but the odds suck.

I’ve never been married. How is it that I have a better grasp of how to make a marriage work than some of you who have been in a marriage for years and years????

“Some men get lucky with marriage” This is a terrible, pathetic, depressing view to have. So what now? You’re just going to attribute happy marriages to luck? That’s a great way to absolve yourself of any responsibility or ownership for the results in your life
 

Maecenas

Sparrow
It's simple. You don't.

It's the same concept as a person who has never had kids thinking they can write a book on parenting. It's absurd.

RK

Right, cause the mind cannot become aware of itself and the future and imagine scenarios that haven’t happened. I understand.

I’m really unimpressed with a lot of guys here and it’s making me realize I have absolutely nothing to worry about with my own masculinity, and that actually a lot of guys don’t meet my standards, and that I should be patient with guys still learning to be more of a man. But I’m still in the acceptance phase.
 

RoadKill

Sparrow
OMG! I don't meet your standards!? How do I sleep tonight?

I'm relieved, actually. If I met your standards, I'd tell you what you'd want to hear instead of what you need to hear. You're not in the acceptance phase, you're in the "I'm naive and I don't know jack about life" phase. You're also in the "I'm smarter than those bitter old men" phase. Here's a prediction; the older you get, the smarter us dumb old guys will become.

Now go marry a messed up woman and fix her, then come tell us how it's done.

RK
 

Maecenas

Sparrow
OMG! I don't meet your standards!? How do I sleep tonight?

I'm relieved, actually. If I met your standards, I'd tell you what you'd want to hear instead of what you need to hear. You're not in the acceptance phase, you're in the "I'm naive and I don't know jack about life" phase. You're also in the "I'm smarter than those bitter old men" phase. Here's a prediction; the older you get, the smarter us dumb old guys will become.

Now go marry a messed up woman and fix her, then come tell us how it's done.

RK
Yaaaaaaaaaa no. See ya

Edit: I’ve already been helping a “messed up” woman lol, one doesn’t need to be married to do that.

Also, wearing bitterness as a badge of honour, as a scar for the length of time you’ve been on this planet, is just plain flat out gross, and that’s exactly what I’m calling out on. Being young at heart is a choice and a mindset. I once read a book about a catholic priest who was subjugated in soviet camps for over 15 years, in the worst conditions you can imagine, and he lived with a lighter, happier heart that many of you who, boo hoo, have a wife and a home etc lol. I highly recommend checking out that book, I found it very touching

 
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RoadKill

Sparrow
Pride comes before the fall.

Did you consider that the priest is who he is and endured the trials because he wasn't married? You haven't felt true pain and betrayal until you've been betrayed by the one you trust and love. As much as you think you can comprehend it, you can't. Just accept it and take my word for it.

The first bit of advice I gave was to be content being single. The priest was obviously secure in himself as a single person and not having the distraction of a wife was to his benefit.

Thanks for making my point for me.

RK
 

Maecenas

Sparrow
Pride comes before the fall.

Did you consider that the priest is who he is and endured the trials because he wasn't married? You haven't felt true pain and betrayal until you've been betrayed by the one you trust and love. As much as you think you can comprehend it, you can't. Just accept it and take my word for it.

The first bit of advice I gave was to be content being single. The priest was obviously secure in himself as a single person and not having the distraction of a wife was to his benefit.

Thanks for making my point for me.

RK
Are you kidding me?????? Are you seriously suggesting having a wife is worse than what he went through???

I uh.... how old are you mate?

I’m just glad you’re being exposed for what you are now. We have to be careful accepting each other’s opinions here. Some of us don’t deserve much time at all. To suggest that someone can only feel true pain and betrayal from having a wife is just about one of the most dramatic, black pilled things I’ve read.

Edit: also you’re insinuating I haven’t been betrayed by people who I love and who were supposed to be there for me. That’s just the furthest thing from the truth. Wow man, you are one angry, bitter, arrogant dude
 
Decrease in sex is one thing. Shutting it off almost completely, except special occasions, like birthdays and holidays, is another. The latter is what modern women do. They do not see any duty to their man, religious or not. If a man brings it up, they still refuse. We do not have a society, closen-knit communities, or religious leaders telling them (repeatedly) otherwise.

We live in a society that celebrates female autonomy, a sinful idea. When female autonomy is celebrated, then females feel entitled to refuse sex to their husbands because "my body, my choice."

My sample size is small, but I doubt much smaller than anyone here.

Married for nearly 7 years, next long term relationship was 2 years, with current GF for 5 years.

The sex was never decreased or withheld. And I am not some sort of Apollo sex God nor have I ever put in effort selecting certain women or acting a certain way to avoid such a problem.

Also in my friend group I have guys who:

* complain they would like more sex, but that the sex never decreased (ie. wife was never super sexually hungry, but it is consistent)
* complain that they want to have less sex only because their wives gained some weight or got bitchy (the wives are not withholding it)

I can't really even conceive of a relationship that begins with mutual attraction and physical enjoyment where the woman suddenly decides to turn that off, outside of extreme gold digger stuff.

Are you guys who are experiencing this leaving some details out of your stories?

Women are horny, they love sex, and once in love with you will crave your intimacy, attention, and touch (more so than you will want to give it). At least that is my experience.
 

RoadKill

Sparrow
Are you kidding me?????? Are you seriously suggesting having a wife is worse than what he went through???

I uh.... how old are you mate?

I’m just glad you’re being exposed for what you are now. We have to be careful accepting each other’s opinions here. Some of us don’t deserve much time at all. To suggest that someone can only feel true pain and betrayal from having a wife is just about one of the most dramatic, black pilled things I’ve read.

Edit: also you’re insinuating I haven’t been betrayed by people who I love and who were supposed to be there for me. That’s just the furthest thing from the truth. Wow man, you are one angry, bitter, arrogant dude

I never said having a wife is always worse than prison and torture. I'm pointing out that there's a different pain that comes from being betrayed by someone you love and trust. By being married, your success and failure is no longer reliant upon just you alone. Sometimes, you can do everything right, but it amounts to nothing if the result is dependent on two people succeeding together. If one is weak and falters, you both fail.

A priest by himself didn't enter a covenant with a woman. He relies on GOD alone and GOD never fails. He avoids true betrayal and pain by avoiding love from a woman and knowing what love is with children. I would fall on my sword a hundred times before I let anyone hurt my children, and so would any other good father.

My current wife didn't understand a different level of love until she had her/our own child. When you love that deeply, then have it destroyed or damaged when you're powerless to do anything about it is to know a different kind of pain that someone who never had kids can experience.

I'm closer to 50 than I am to 40. Not that it matters. I have raised 5 kids in some capacity throughout my life. One successfully all the way through to adulthood, one in progress and the other three were kept from me, even though they also wanted to have me in their lives. We were not allowed that option. I learned that after we were kept apart that their lives were train wrecks. I ALWAYS had a great relationship with my kids.

Something a young buck like yourself won't understand is that being hurt by someone who means nothing to you is easier to deal with than being backstabbed by the person you're married to, or someone you trusted deeply. My case was very extreme and I rarely meet someone who has endured the kind of betrayal and destruction I have encountered.

I have been imprisoned by those (plural) who I trusted that gave false testimony and I had to fight for my innocence and won.

I have witnessed physical, sexual and mental abuse through different periods in my lifetime. I've seen people I loved hurt by those that are supposed to nurture them and was powerless to do anything about it.

Men, by nature, have a calling to be warriors. In isolation, the only person who can let you down is you. GOD doesn't always shield us from trouble. He's there to give us strength when it

Am I angry? No. I got over it. I'm very in control of my emotions. In person, people find me a cheerful fellow, pleasant to talk with and very relatable. People, both men and women, naturally open up to me about very private things. People trust me because I am a trustworthy person and I am a keeper of many secrets from many people. They know I won't break their trust.

Am I a little bitter? Maybe.
Am I arrogant? No. I just speak on topics I have extensive knowledge about. I keep quiet when I don't know the topic very well.
Am I honest, and a straight shooter? You betcha!

Do you remember the movie Braveheart? William Wallace had resolve. He endured tragedy and lost many friends. The moment he felt truly devastated was when Robert The Bruce betrayed him on the battlefield. It cut him so deep, he was paralyzed and he surrendered to death, even though he had a knife to Robert's throat. He was only saved by Amish who rushed him off the battlefield.

Being hurt by someone you trusted is different and always worse than being hurt by someone who means nothing to you. If given the choice, William Wallace would prefer death by the enemy rather than betrayal by a trusted friend.

RK
 
I can confirm RoadKill's stance. My father went through lots of hardships alone but when some women in my mothers circle of friends turned her against him, which led to divorce and everybody from banks to the legal system ganging up on him and his female lawyer (why the hell did he do that...) representing him to his disadvantage he truely came out as a broken man that never recovered and lives as a recluse distrusting anyone and anything.

Gen X has wised up to divorce scams that boomers went through but it truely caught them off guard and left a lot of men broken.
 
I can confirm RoadKill's stance. My father went through lots of hardships alone but when some women in my mothers circle of friends turned her against him, which led to divorce and everybody from banks to the legal system ganging up on him and his female lawyer (why the hell did he do that...) representing him to his disadvantage he truely came out as a broken man that never recovered and lives as a recluse distrusting anyone and anything.

Gen X has wised up to divorce scams that boomers went through but it truely caught them off guard and left a lot of men broken.

I would be very careful about hiring a female lawyer. Experienced male attorneys seem to have their act together, by comparison. Female lawyers can far too easily get distracted by their private life, especially young ones. I have seen it happen and it cost someone dearly.
 
I can confirm RoadKill's stance. My father went through lots of hardships alone but when some women in my mothers circle of friends turned her against him, which led to divorce and everybody from banks to the legal system ganging up on him and his female lawyer (why the hell did he do that...) representing him to his disadvantage he truely came out as a broken man that never recovered and lives as a recluse distrusting anyone and anything.

Gen X has wised up to divorce scams that boomers went through but it truely caught them off guard and left a lot of men broken.

I am angered by the numerous online articles about female frustration and why men today are often not marrying and having kids, which do not bother to discuss the high possibility of divorce rape for men/the need for drastic family court reform. It is the elephant in the room that the media and elites want to avoid discussing.
 
I would be very careful about hiring a female lawyer. Experienced male attorneys seem to have their act together, by comparison. Female lawyers can far too easily get distracted by their private life, especially young ones. I have seen it happen and it cost someone dearly.

Women hate weak men and a lot of hardened career women seem to have a sadistic side to them / favor cold hardened psychopaths and surely met quite a few male lawyers and judges that were not to keen on dealing with female lawyers / didn't take her seriously. For every female lawyer that has a soft spot for her daddy and men that get persecuted / fucked over by women, there are probably dozens that will actively work to the disadvantage of their male clients.

Add to that a feminazi judge or a gøy hating tribe member judge and you have a life crippling ruling coming.

Now keep in mind I'm pulling this out of my ass purely by observation of female nature as I'm fortunate enough to have stayed outside of the (in)justice system throughout my life.

In my father's case he told me his female lawyers actively worked against him and represented him to his disadvantage in plausible deniable ways.
 
Husband’s Perfect Communication Causes Fight

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bucky

Ostrich
Husband’s Perfect Communication Causes Fight

View attachment 25784


I've had a couple of relationships where the woman didn't speak English much and I didn't speak her language well at first. In both cases, I eventually learned her language and when we could communicate and understand each other better...things got considerably worse.
 

bucky

Ostrich
I would be very careful about hiring a female lawyer. Experienced male attorneys seem to have their act together, by comparison. Female lawyers can far too easily get distracted by their private life, especially young ones. I have seen it happen and it cost someone dearly.

Interesting advice. I'd be interested to hear if other guys on the forum agree. To be fair, the immigration lawyer my wife and I hired was female as well as being pretty overweight and apparently a huge SJW, and she did a great job with sorting out our case and getting my wife's permanent residency. She came highly recommended from a friend though.
 

andy dufresne

Kingfisher
Only get married if you both want kids. And you have a prenup. And you have a backup plan when she gets the prenup voided.

People above were complaining about comparing the priest trials to what they go through in marriage hell.

If you've ever been stuck in a dead bedroom for any length of time you'll realize how much a woman can literally have you by the balls with no way out especially you're a man with a healthy libido. It's hell...especially if you are a decent guy who refuses to cheat.

Modern career women on BC and with permanent access to Chads on their cell phones hold all the cards in the sexual game. Truly the only way to win is to not get married and not give a crap about any of them. Maybe you'll get lucky but she'll always have the upper hand in todays world.
 

bucky

Ostrich
My sample size is small, but I doubt much smaller than anyone here.

Married for nearly 7 years, next long term relationship was 2 years, with current GF for 5 years.

The sex was never decreased or withheld. And I am not some sort of Apollo sex God nor have I ever put in effort selecting certain women or acting a certain way to avoid such a problem.

Also in my friend group I have guys who:

* complain they would like more sex, but that the sex never decreased (ie. wife was never super sexually hungry, but it is consistent)
* complain that they want to have less sex only because their wives gained some weight or got bitchy (the wives are not withholding it)

I can't really even conceive of a relationship that begins with mutual attraction and physical enjoyment where the woman suddenly decides to turn that off, outside of extreme gold digger stuff.

Are you guys who are experiencing this leaving some details out of your stories?

Women are horny, they love sex, and once in love with you will crave your intimacy, attention, and touch (more so than you will want to give it). At least that is my experience.

I wonder this too. I don't want to be too hard on the anti-marriage cynics, at least not the ones who've been "divorce raped" because although their black pilling annoys me, my empathy for them is stronger than my annoyance.

Still, I can't help thinking of a coworker of mine from a few years ago who used to loudly and awkwardly complain about lack of sex in his marriage. Freakishly tall guy with long, greasy hair whose wardrobe consisted mostly of Star Wars and superhero gear and worst of all, a big gut hanging over his jeans, that weird kind of gut that tall guys who aren't really fat get that doesn't look any better than just being fat all over. This guy would also jokingly but not-so-jokingly mock me for hitting the company gym during lunch hour and eating healthy.

You could just tell he married the first girl he ever had sex with too. Not out of some religious conviction, but because he figured she was the best he could do and he was right. Anyway, I'd get to work early in the morning, often relaxed and happy after very satisfying sex the night before, and listen to this poor, obnoxious guy bitch about lack of action with his wife. I'd look at that greasy hair, Sheldon Cooper fashion sense, and most of all that gut and think "that might be your problem right there."

This was one of the more extreme cases, but almost every time I've had a guy I work with complain about lack of sex in his marriage he's been the kind of guy who you wouldn't really picture women being that into if he were single either.
 
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