Talk about blackpilled. Going from reading redbeard’s thread to reading this thread is giving me two very different outlooks on marriage. Was thinking of getting married in my late 20s, can anyone give guidance on this? God bless.
Ignore FullthrottleTX (He is not deeply spiritual, on top of other personal issues I wont delve into. Check his post history) and other blackpillers. The men who are blackpilled are facing their own personal issues. Do not let it take your focus away from this forums new direction, which is to follow God, start a family, find success in your life and break free from the blackpill which plagued the manosphere for years.
Being religious doesn’t necessarily change anything in that regard. St. John Chrysostom used to exhort wives to please be intimate with their husbands, and he wouldn’t have had to do that if religiosity automatically brought a never-ending supply of intimacy. I also know an Orthodox guy whose wife denied him intimacy for seven years until he couldn’t take it anymore and, against the advice of the Church of course, divorced her and remarried. You really never know with these things.
I'm currently reading St John Chrysostom's "On Marriage and Family Life" and yes, he indeed stresses how women owe men the marital duty(he interestingly enough, advise men to not withhold sex from the wife either, for those saying St John Crysostom only advised women of this...). He even tells women that a cause in men looking for another woman is because the wife is withholding sex for whatever reason. At least in Catholicism, withdrawing the marital right from your spouse is a mortal sin. Now, if the woman you find is indeed God-Fearing, theoretically she should not withhold sex from you...
The unfortunate reality is that there are so few Men here who are married to an actual religious woman (Catholic or Orthodox in this instance) who is God-Fearing, that it is extremely difficult to obtain real life data as to how women respond when they know that withholding Sex is a grave Sin. At least from what I can see at my church, women have at minimum 4 children, with another on the way, so I guess that's a positive trend. Bucky is the only user with experience in this regard here, and so far, things are going great for him. redbeard also recently got married in a Traditional Latin Mass environment, so we will await and see as time goes on how that goes.
The problem I have with some users here is that they blackpill others and discourage men from marrying because of their 1 or 5 failed marriages and divorces. I've said it time and time again here, that whatever worldly experience you may had is moot. NO ONE here is being encouraged to marry a wordly woman, in a wordly setting like Las Vegas or a court and hope for the best. No one. Then you have men who married a "religious woman", who was most likely some sort of protestant or fake-catholic(the majority unfortunately) who wasnt actually God-Fearing, but instead, was religious in the sense that she was in it because of her family and friends. What we are trying to do now has not been tested on a large scale like PUA was back in the day. We have little data, but we do have the advice from the Church Fathers and the Church itself.
I am not saying that we should close our eyes, pick a woman who goes to church and "hope for the best" or "just trust God" as some fedora tippers are saying in ridicule . Obviously vetting is still required. Obviously using all of your masculine traits is required, no one said otherwise, but the discouragement has to stop.