Are most married couples unhappy?

Within marriages in the western nations; a male is de-fecto a property of women, since males have zero legal or political leverage in marriage. Whereas in the past, males exchanged their productive labor for rights to females' reproductive ability in a very economical contract, today no such contract exists. She can divorce you for any reason, whatsoever, on a whim, and there isn't a single damn thing you can do. In a flash, you can lose everything, while she stands to benefit tremendously, especially if you earn good salary.

Even if a woman is perfect potential wife and mother, the fact remains, in the eyes of law, you are essentially her property while modern marriage law entitles you to nothing from her. Nothing! Nada! In sum, you pretty much surrender your autonomy and sovereignty to her! You get nothing in return. In marriage, she has the powers, not you. Talk about unholiness! Can't you smell the fart coming from hell? Marriage is not meant to be as such. I cannot possibly see how any woman can respect her husband knowing that she owns him wholly. How can you even respect yourself for that matter? Modern marriage is a pure fraud!

The only way to sidetrack this is if you marry higher-earning income woman. Good luck finding suitable wife who makes more than you.

It is for this reason, and this reason alone-the completed loss of self-sovereignty- I would never get married in any country which does not recognize males' natural rights over their wives in marriage contract.

Now on a slightly brighter note: I seem to recall that vast majority of divorces are among lower-earning incomers, and the risk of divorces are substantially lower among middle and upper class. From a quick online research, the rate among educated middle and upper class is 30 percent. Of course, it doesn't tell us much, but marriage is not necessarily all doom and gloom.

Still, you are legally surrendering your sovereignty to your wife in a marriage contract, while you are entitled to nothing from her. You can't even include a clause "she must cook and clean house daily while I work grueling 80 hours a week schedule", because then the judge could interpreter this as coercion and thus invalid. Pre-nups have been thrown out for a lot less than this.

No thank you
This is the disaster that no fault divorce has wrought. A moral society would immediately repeal this absurdity. I am often told by people that the problem with marriage is that it is "just a piece of paper." On the contrary the problem is that it is not even a piece of paper. I have a piece of paper that I signed with my bank to buy my house. If I try and walk out on that I can, but there will be consequences. While the marriage contract can be rendered null and void for the flimsiest of pretenses, or indeed for no pretense at all with no legal consequence even if one party has acted despicably. As you mention the woman has the upper hand in this situation. It is satanic. You can't even do that on a finance contract signed to buy a blender, why should you be able to do that for marriage which is the fundamental building block of a healthy society. Its absurd. But nobody ever accused feminists of logic.
 

andy dufresne

Woodpecker
Within marriages in the western nations; a male is de-fecto a property of women, since males have zero legal or political leverage in marriage. Whereas in the past, males exchanged their productive labor for rights to females' reproductive ability in a very economical contract, today no such contract exists. She can divorce you for any reason, whatsoever, on a whim, and there isn't a single damn thing you can do. In a flash, you can lose everything, while she stands to benefit tremendously, especially if you earn good salary.

Even if a woman is perfect potential wife and mother, the fact remains, in the eyes of law, you are essentially her property while modern marriage law entitles you to nothing from her. Nothing! Nada! In sum, you pretty much surrender your autonomy and sovereignty to her! You get nothing in return. In marriage, she has the powers, not you. Talk about unholiness! Can't you smell the fart coming from hell? Marriage is not meant to be as such. I cannot possibly see how any woman can respect her husband knowing that she owns him wholly. How can you even respect yourself for that matter? Modern marriage is a pure fraud!

The only way to sidetrack this is if you marry higher-earning income woman. Good luck finding suitable wife who makes more than you.

It is for this reason, and this reason alone-the completed loss of self-sovereignty- I would never get married in any country which does not recognize males' natural rights over their wives in marriage contract.

Now on a slightly brighter note: I seem to recall that vast majority of divorces are among lower-earning incomers, and the risk of divorces are substantially lower among middle and upper class. From a quick online research, the rate among educated middle and upper class is 30 percent. Of course, it doesn't tell us much, but marriage is not necessarily all doom and gloom.

Still, you are legally surrendering your sovereignty to your wife in a marriage contract, while you are entitled to nothing from her. You can't even include a clause "she must cook and clean house daily while I work grueling 80 hours a week schedule", because then the judge could interpreter this as coercion and thus invalid. Pre-nups have been thrown out for a lot less than this.

No thank you
Great post.

The only way to sidetrack this is if you marry higher-earning income woman. Good luck finding suitable wife who makes more than you.

Hypergamy doesn't work this way. Unless you are a major alpha douche don't even bother to try. Women instinctually expect their men to make more than them.
 

RoadKill

Sparrow
Great post.

The only way to sidetrack this is if you marry higher-earning income woman. Good luck finding suitable wife who makes more than you.

Hypergamy doesn't work this way. Unless you are a major alpha douche don't even bother to try. Women instinctually expect their men to make more than them.
It's a double-edged sword. Are you ready to be Mr Mom? Men have to be careful about this one. Of course you did say "Suitable" wife, so yeah, that will be as rare as hen's teeth.

On marrying an affluent wife or making an affluent wife, the pressure is off you, but will your opinion be respected and will she allow you authority in decision making? If men who make more money than their wives surrender their finances to the wife, and still have to ask for money, how much less respect will they get from their wives if the wife makes more money and controls the finances?

Will you have any authority and say in any decision-making? If you make more money, a wife can nag and complain all she wants but in the end . If you're not the bread-winner, then how much more nagging, complaining and confidence-destroying will the rich wife be? Just something to be mindful of. Put it in the background.

RK
 

Tytalus

Pelican
@MichaelWitcoff and @Dream Medicine Thank you!

I also realized this after going to bed...

(17) Keep your career moving forward. Depending on your lifestyle and ambition this may be faster or slower... But it should be going somewhere. If you don't want to hit management, then learn more technical skills/obtain technical designations. If you want to hit management, study that. A forward moving career is attractive to your spouse.

(18) Avoid toxic jobs. If you think being in a fucked up work in environment won't bleed into your family life, there's a bridge to nowhere I'd like to sell to you. It's hard when you're the provider, but if you're miserably unhappy at work, FIX IT. Again, you are in charge of your own destiny, so FIX your problems with creative thinking rather than whine how nothing will change. (I speak from serious experience on this one.)

(19) Avoid toxic/loser friends. You are the average of the 5 people you hang out with most. Human beings are reflective in nature. We reflect whatever we surround ourselves with. If you have friends with miserable marriages/relationships, guess what direction yours will go?

(20) Happiness to a certain degree is a choice. How you see the world and react to what happens, is a choice. Choose wisely.
 
You may as well ask if most people are happy, its kind of the same question. I have been married for 26 years and we have 5 children. I can tell you that we have had some really great times and some really bad times. Women seem to lose interest in sex after having a few kids and entering their 30's. I am sure there are exceptions but from my own experience and what I have read on this thread this seems fairly normal. Happiness comes and happiness goes. Bob Dylan has a line where he says happiness can come for no good reason and it can leave just as quickly. I think most men will tell you they don't laid enough while women will probably tell you its a chore after a while if they are honest about it. You have to get beyond happiness in life, otherwise you are just going to have an immature outlook, not just on marriage but life in general. There is nothing sadder than adults entering middle age and still trying to think they should be living like their 20s. I am always been asked by people whose relationships have failed how we did it. I always say its simple - you just DON'T GET DIVORCED. There is no secret. I also had this very single minded drive to not let my children down. The idea of getting divorced and then another man come into their lives was absolutely unacceptable to me. I won't let that happen, I can't let that happen and I won't let that happen. Happiness? To be honest its nothing compared to joy. And to have joy you have to have suffered for it. Last Christmas I bought the kids one of those above ground pools and sat on the deck drinking a beer and just watching my 3 youngest boys playing in that pool and I sincerely thanked God that my wife and I didn't give up on our marriage in those dark moments when it was hanging by a thread. Nothing in the single life attracts me above been a father. As I read somewhere, there is no success in life that makes up for failure as a father. Anyway lads, I wish you all the best. But as for me I have seen people moan about not been able to find a relationship that works when it seems to me that they gave up on their marriages at the very first obstacle. They say they want a great marriage but they don't seem to understand that the only way to get one is to go through a lot of suffering to get there. The promised land can only be reached by traveling through the desert. You have to ask yourself: am I prepared to suffer for this love? If the answer is no then your love is basically useless. The scripture says we must love our wives and give up our lives for them with a Christ-like sacrificial love (Ephesians 5:25).
You get a standing ovation from me. I agree with you. All that pain and trial you go through can help strengthen the relationship. Giving up too early and what, you get to maybe start all over with someone else? No thanks.
 

Maecenas

Sparrow
I have read your post and from the looks of it, it seems you do not have a successful marriage even your second time around. Again, your experience means little if 1) your personal life has nothing to show for it in relation to a successful marriage (so asking me my marriage experience is a non-starter when you again, have failed as you put it, only been in "dumpster fires"). Though I am glad you have children at least.
This would be akin to a person who has tried to open 2 businesses but failed and then ask me why I would be interested in opening my own business when his were failures. Doesn't work that way. If I want to open a business and keep it running successfully, i'm going to go to successful business owners, not one's who've had "dumpster fires" and have ultimately failed at keeping one running. I definitely dont want to hear unsolicited advice from business owners who weren't successful in any capacity.

Second, It doesn't interest me how many times you've studied the bible. I'm not sure what type of Christian you are, but I am only interested in what the Church (Catholic) has to say about the bible, not what one person thinks or interprets it, or what one of his 35,000 denominational churches think. I dont want to start a religious debate here(I mean no offense to anyone here), but that is my belief. If you are Catholic, I am also not interested if you grew up in the Novus Ordo rite. I am ONLY interested if you grew up in a Traditional Catholic Setting, following Catholic teachings and virtues, not habitually mortally sinning, (ESPECIALLY NOT FORNICATING/Keeping chaste), and if you followed the approved traditional way of Courtship on your way to marriage. Barring this, I couldn't care less about someones religious experience.

"I don't know your background, but what experience do you have in marriage which makes your opinion superior to others with real-world marriage experience? Why should a prospective suitor ignore the advice and real-world experiences of what you call "black pilled" members?"

Thankfully I have 0 marriage experience. I dont say this from a MGTOW perspective, rather, I say thankfully because had I gotten married 10 or even 5 years ago, they've would've ended up in failures...What I do have is 10 years of failed LTR's that went absolutely nowhere and ultimately, i realized I had no one to blame but myself because I was completely blinded by my sins and passions. I was a man of the world, and following Game, fornicating left and right worshiping sex led me nowhere. Had I not been blind, had I been an actual man, I may have not even gotten in these relationships in the first place, but fate would have it that I would be a COOMER for a while before finally waking up. I have many times mentioned my past here and use it as a platform to demonstrate the mistakes I made and why things happened the way they did in order to HELP others. I dont use my experience for black-pilling purposes, that would serve no one.

Now, I did say initially that your experience means little, but this is in regards to someone who is looking for advice on a successful marriage. Where you COULD make your experience shine is by humbling yourself and start to explain to young men how your own behaviors, sins, and behavioral patterns led you to make mistakes such as taking a drug addict for a wife on your first rodeo, and how you ended up making a mistake the second time around. You can be a great asset to young men. Like you said before, you dont want young men ill-equipped, but that is not what you're doing. What you're doing is giving young men ways to dodge-draft the war and not even giving them the fighting chance in the first place to fight for their country and win...

I may not have been married, but I believe I can relate to being burned/betrayed by someone you really loved. That was my 1st Ex, and in all honestly I even started having thoughts of suicide after she broke up with me (though I never attempted) because I just could not fathom how someone who was with me for 5 years could all of a sudden drop me like a drop of a coin. The year following this event, I was blackpilled, got into Game and just saw the world in a different way. I got into subsequent relationships the years after, but looking back at them, they were failures from the get-go; I just wasn't ready because 1) My soul was damaged still from my first relationship and 2)still following the worldly, gay way of "dating", which leads nowhere but years wasted, or if married, eventually divorced. Thankfully I found my way back to the Catholic Church and my soul has healed since.

My hope is that you and the rest of the older folk here use your "failures" not to blackpill, but to HELP men and encourage them to not make the mistakes you made and help them in ways so that they can navigate their way unto a successful marriage. Gen-Xrs are notorious in real life for being blackpilled on marriage (I know literally dozens of them IRL, the vast majority have the same outlook) and they all have this cynical behavior, so I'm not surprised here. This is not to take away from the struggles you face in your marriage, but eventually, you have to realize what this forum is all about now. That is it being a Christian forum centered on ultimately either Successfully creating a family or 2) giving yourself entirely to God and not worry about worldly endeavors at all and being content with that fact. The west will not survive if all the more elder men do is blackpill the younger generation. Keeping a civilization afloat doesn't work that way. I can go much deeper into this, but I already see I typed up an essay, so I'll stop here.
Music to my ears!! Completely agree! Especially agree that someone with no marriage experience, turning down girls where things would have gone sour, can have more experience than someone who jumped into bed and a marriage with a girl.
 

Blade Runner

Kingfisher
Great post.

The only way to sidetrack this is if you marry higher-earning income woman. Good luck finding suitable wife who makes more than you.

Hypergamy doesn't work this way. Unless you are a major alpha douche don't even bother to try. Women instinctually expect their men to make more than them.
I laughed out loud because as a physician, I have actually seen physicians on other forums recommend this tactic. You are correct, but most physicians either came from an earlier time period which was more sane, or are just simpy types since so many are also around leftist university thinking for so much of their lives, being good worker bee or algorithm follower types. As a result, they think you are an (insert right wing epithet) if you have the subsequent analysis you just provided. The training of the high % of women in medicine is, by the way, another major failure (waste of resources) of modern life. It would possibly be (maybe law school was similar a little while ago) the best example of the use of social / selection settings for hypergamy. Only high level thinkers realize this, since it's mostly a subconscious concept, but from what I've seen even though they do have an out with a career if they don't link up with someone, the fact still remains they don't capitalize on the possible connections. Why? Men are suspicious and usually these women don't have characteristics that are attractively feminine, nor are they exceptionally beautiful. Maybe 1.5 in a 100 are a 7+. And while being a doctor doesn't mean anything anymore, most still make pretty good money.
 
I laughed out loud because as a physician, I have actually seen physicians on other forums recommend this tactic. You are correct, but most physicians either came from an earlier time period which was more sane, or are just simpy types since so many are also around leftist university thinking for so much of their lives, being good worker bee or algorithm follower types. As a result, they think you are an (insert right wing epithet) if you have the subsequent analysis you just provided. The training of the high % of women in medicine is, by the way, another major failure (waste of resources) of modern life. It would possibly be (maybe law school was similar a little while ago) the best example of the use of social / selection settings for hypergamy. Only high level thinkers realize this, since it's mostly a subconscious concept, but from what I've seen even though they do have an out with a career if they don't link up with someone, the fact still remains they don't capitalize on the possible connections. Why? Men are suspicious and usually these women don't have characteristics that are attractively feminine, nor are they exceptionally beautiful. Maybe 1.5 in a 100 are a 7+. And while being a doctor doesn't mean anything anymore, most still make pretty good money.
I used to date a very beautiful nurse (think Jane Mansfield), and I asked her why she had not ended up marrying a doctor. Her explanation was that doctors usually married other doctors, or at least other professionals "at their level." She then shared some memories of dating doctors who were so tired from work that they literally fell asleep on her. Oh, and there were those doctors more than happy to have sex with her, but had no interest in marriage, despite claims to the contrary. A few years after she dumped me, she married the owner of a large motorcycle dealership. A mutual friend said that he was a good guy, and a proper match. But the big thing he worried about was that my ex would wind up getting herself killed on a bike.
 

STG

Robin
Within marriages in the western nations; a male is de-fecto a property of women, since males have zero legal or political leverage in marriage. Whereas in the past, males exchanged their productive labor for rights to females' reproductive ability in a very economical contract, today no such contract exists. She can divorce you for any reason, whatsoever, on a whim, and there isn't a single damn thing you can do. In a flash, you can lose everything, while she stands to benefit tremendously, especially if you earn good salary.

Even if a woman is perfect potential wife and mother, the fact remains, in the eyes of law, you are essentially her property while modern marriage law entitles you to nothing from her. Nothing! Nada! In sum, you pretty much surrender your autonomy and sovereignty to her! You get nothing in return. In marriage, she has the powers, not you. Talk about unholiness! Can't you smell the fart coming from hell? Marriage is not meant to be as such. I cannot possibly see how any woman can respect her husband knowing that she owns him wholly. How can you even respect yourself for that matter? Modern marriage is a pure fraud!

The only way to sidetrack this is if you marry higher-earning income woman. Good luck finding suitable wife who makes more than you.

It is for this reason, and this reason alone-the completed loss of self-sovereignty- I would never get married in any country which does not recognize males' natural rights over their wives in marriage contract.

Now on a slightly brighter note: I seem to recall that vast majority of divorces are among lower-earning incomers, and the risk of divorces are substantially lower among middle and upper class. From a quick online research, the rate among educated middle and upper class is 30 percent. Of course, it doesn't tell us much, but marriage is not necessarily all doom and gloom.

Still, you are legally surrendering your sovereignty to your wife in a marriage contract, while you are entitled to nothing from her. You can't even include a clause "she must cook and clean house daily while I work grueling 80 hours a week schedule", because then the judge could interpreter this as coercion and thus invalid. Pre-nups have been thrown out for a lot less than this.

No thank you
The men who have the intelligence to understand the raw deal modern marriage is are not reproducing. The lower IQ ones who are unable to grasp this complex dilemma continue to breed without hesitation.

This is dysgenic as we are selecting for the unintelligent to breed the next generation. The exact opposite of natural selection where the high IQ men would be reproducing at a higher rate then the lower IQ men.

Everything about the modern world is having a dysgenic effect..... as I've said before this is what caused the fall of Rome about 2000 years ago.
 
The men who have the intelligence to understand the raw deal modern marriage is are not reproducing. The lower IQ ones who are unable to grasp this complex dilemma continue to breed without hesitation.

This is dysgenic as we are selecting for the unintelligent to breed the next generation. The exact opposite of natural selection where the high IQ men would be reproducing at a higher rate then the lower IQ men.

Everything about the modern world is having a dysgenic effect..... as I've said before this is what caused the fall of Rome about 2000 years ago.
As shown in this classic video scene... Though I would say that in Asia the intelligent men are often breeding, which will cause problems for the West, down the line....

 
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