Are most married couples unhappy?

GWYW2015

Woodpecker
Orthodox
Whether you marry or decide to stay alone you're going to regret it anyways. Nothing's perfect in this life. Better to appreciate what you have instead of wasting time wishing for that which can't be done.

You should decide what to do according to what you can stand the most: women and their problems or loneliness. You should also count lust in there if you're a Christian; one of the main reasons for marriage is so lust doesn't overcome you and becomes fornication and all sorts of degeneracy.
Well said. Nothing is perfect, nothing.
 
See my post in the new member introduction thread. Lots to read on my history and let-downs. Click the link below.


I have learned it is to be better to be single, and I will again when I fulfill my fatherly duty of seeing my son graduate high school in seven years.

I've learned:
-All women are crazy, every single one of them
-Never marry a single mom (married a single mom with 3 kids)
-If you have a child, never allow anyone to marry you or get into a relationship until the child is an adult and moved out (I was a single dad after marriage 1 and should have stayed single. It ruined my second marriage)
-Never date until you can be happy being alone. If you do, your happiness relies on the woman and that's too much burden for anyone.
-Choose between being happy and lonely or married/dating with drama and no peace
-The amount of drama in a man's life is directly proportional to the amount of women in his life (of all ages; wife, mom, daughter, step-daughter, MIL, mistress, girlfriend). The amount of drama is exponential if the women live under the same roof as you and multiplied by a factor of four if one or more of the women is between the ages of 11 and 20.

-Most, but not all are crazy.

-I married a single mom, but I do see the reasons to not do it. You get the responsibility without the authority and love, which is horrible.

-The vast majority of women do not have the inner strength and decency to not get into a relationship with a man, until their kids from a failed relationship are grown. They want the financial support, companionship, and sex, a new marriage can bring. And of course if the man is well off, they can have a kid with him and then hit the divorce button at any time, and get their cash and prizes. Men seem much better at understanding that they should stay single, for the sake of the children. I have known many single dads over the years, that did not remarry for a very long time.

-Alot of women date I believe because they are not happy being alone.

-Even when I am alone at home, it's like the energy/presence of my significant other is still here, to scold me.

-I live in a house full of women. My partner, two teenage girls, and two young girls. The amount of estrogen gets to me at times! Even just having a young male cousin visit for a few hours, is kind of nice. Today is the oldest girl's birthday (16), and I was shocked when she actually said "thank you," in reply to me wishing her a happy birthday this morning. Normally she and the rest of the kids give me the cold shoulder. Last year for her birthday, I bought this girl very expensive shoes and we had dinner at a nice restaurant. This year I am doing nothing, but I am sure her mother will do something. I suppose later I will give her something like a fifty dollar shopping spree on Lazada (the local version of Amazon).

She already has a good cell phone, which I paid for long distance. Strangely, she did not know that I had paid for it, because her mother never told her (this was before I moved to the Philippines). My significant other became very upset when I explained to the girl that I had paid for her beloved phone. To her it seemed like I was bragging, which to me is ridiculous. I also paid for most of the month long hospital stay of her father, due to his lung disease, but he was never told it was me! I found this out only fairly recently, from a family member. This practice makes me rather angry.

When it was my own birthday, earlier this year, I was touched that they had a birthday cake for me, which the girls held aloft as a group as they presented it to me. And so I grabbed my phone to take a picture, but the kids recoiled in horror, and mom explained that they needed more time to accept me! But this was already at the one year mark for me here. I felt like taking a long long walk by myself at that point, and it took all my self-control not to do just that.

My significant other just arrived with a huge birthday cake and decorations. Well, despite everything, I hope my oldest stepdaughter has a nice little celebration.
 

GWYW2015

Woodpecker
Orthodox
-Most, but not all are crazy.

-I married a single mom, but I do see the reasons to not do it. You get the responsibility without the authority and love, which is horrible.

-The vast majority of women do not have the inner strength and decency to not get into a relationship with a man, until their kids from a failed relationship are grown. They want the financial support, companionship, and sex, a new marriage can bring. And of course if the man is well off, they can have a kid with him and then hit the divorce button at any time, and get their cash and prizes. Men seem much better at understanding that they should stay single, for the sake of the children. I have known many single dads over the years, that did not remarry for a very long time.

-Alot of women date I believe because they are not happy being alone.

-Even when I am alone at home, it's like the energy/presence of my significant other is still here, to scold me.

-I live in a house full of women. My partner, two teenage girls, and two young girls. The amount of estrogen gets to me at times! Even just having a young male cousin visit for a few hours, is kind of nice. Today is the oldest girl's birthday (16), and I was shocked when she actually said "thank you," in reply to me wishing her a happy birthday this morning. Normally she and the rest of the kids give me the cold shoulder. Last year for her birthday, I bought this girl very expensive shoes and we had dinner at a nice restaurant. This year I am doing nothing, but I am sure her mother will do something. I suppose later I will give her something like a fifty dollar shopping spree on Lazada (the local version of Amazon).

She already has a good cell phone, which I paid for long distance. Strangely, she did not know that I had paid for it, because her mother never told her (this was before I moved to the Philippines). My significant other became very upset when I explained to the girl that I had paid for her beloved phone. To her it seemed like I was bragging, which to me is ridiculous. I also paid for most of the month long hospital stay of her father, due to his lung disease, but he was never told it was me! I found this out only fairly recently, from a family member. This practice makes me rather angry.

When it was my own birthday, earlier this year, I was touched that they had a birthday cake for me, which the girls held aloft as a group as they presented it to me. And so I grabbed my phone to take a picture, but the kids recoiled in horror, and mom explained that they needed more time to accept me! But this was already at the one year mark for me here. I felt like taking a long long walk by myself at that point, and it took all my self-control not to do just that.

My significant other just arrived with a huge birthday cake and decorations. Well, despite everything, I hope my oldest stepdaughter has a nice little celebration.
When I saw Lazada I thought maybe you were in the Philippines. My wife and I want to retire their as soon as we can. She is a Filipina.
 

GWYW2015

Woodpecker
Orthodox
Are most people unhappy?

I found if you can't be happy single, you also won't be happy in a couple.
I heard that all the time I was single and doubted that was true. I have been married for five years (finally, at 53) and there is no comparison between the two conditions.

Living without sex, companionship and everything involved with that compared to having sex, having companionship, having purpose...I don't know how people can like being single. I struggled to a high degree and don't regret being married at all. I was not happy when I was single. I wanted to have a good attitude, I tried to have a good attitude, and it was tough.

I had unmet needs, now they are met. Marriage has its difficulties since we are all sinners but being single has its diffuculties too.

This is my opinion, but if someone can be happy and content being single, they don't need to get married.
 

R.G.Camara

Kingfisher
Women stop the sex at a certain point (usually 1-2 years after cohabitation), causing much marital strife, as testified by millennia of men's complaints. So even if everything else in a marriage is ok, the female withholding men sex makes the men unhappy. Only external force by religion and society rights this; unfortunately, unless you're in a closed, religious community, our current culture and weak Christian leadership guarantees your woman will stop having sex she owes you and make you miserable.

Monkhood seems the only option.
 

GWYW2015

Woodpecker
Orthodox
Women stop the sex at a certain point (usually 1-2 years after cohabitation), causing much marital strife, as testified by millennia of men's complaints. So even if everything else in a marriage is ok, the female withholding men sex makes the men unhappy. Only external force by religion and society rights this; unfortunately, unless you're in a closed, religious community, our current culture and weak Christian leadership guarantees your woman will stop having sex she owes you and make you miserable.

Monkhood seems the only option.
Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't it better to just accept that at some point the sex will decrease? Some is better than none. I might want to complain about a couple times a week but that looks like riches after being single and alone for many years.

I think all a guy can do is remind his wife of the biblical command to not deprive each other (and she has heard it umpteen times between her husband and her church). The best way for her to not deprive her husband is to hear this from other WOMEN who believe that. That is why younger women should learn from older godly women who will tell them that their husbands still need sex.
 

R.G.Camara

Kingfisher
Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't it better to just accept that at some point the sex will decrease? Some is better than none. I might want to complain about a couple times a week but that looks like riches after being single and alone for many years.

I think all a guy can do is remind his wife of the biblical command to not deprive each other (and she has heard it umpteen times between her husband and her church). The best way for her to not deprive her husband is to hear this from other WOMEN who believe that. That is why younger women should learn from older godly women who will tell them that their husbands still need sex.

Decrease in sex is one thing. Shutting it off almost completely, except special occasions, like birthdays and holidays, is another. The latter is what modern women do. They do not see any duty to their man, religious or not. If a man brings it up, they still refuse. We do not have a society, closen-knit communities, or religious leaders telling them (repeatedly) otherwise.

We live in a society that celebrates female autonomy, a sinful idea. When female autonomy is celebrated, then females feel entitled to refuse sex to their husbands because "my body, my choice."
 

GWYW2015

Woodpecker
Orthodox
Decrease in sex is one thing. Shutting it off almost completely, except special occasions, like birthdays and holidays, is another. The latter is what modern women do. They do not see any duty to their man, religious or not. If a man brings it up, they still refuse. We do not have a society, closen-knit communities, or religious leaders telling them (repeatedly) otherwise.

We live in a society that celebrates female autonomy, a sinful idea. When female autonomy is celebrated, then females feel entitled to refuse sex to their husbands because "my body, my choice."
I am glad you said that. The Bible says the wife's body belongs to the husband and the husband's body belongs to the wife. That is before marriage as well as when married. It is best if she realizes this herself but it certainly goes against the grain of society.
 

R.G.Camara

Kingfisher
I am glad you said that. The Bible says the wife's body belongs to the husband and the husband's body belongs to the wife. That is before marriage as well as when married. It is best if she realizes this herself but it certainly goes against the grain of society.

When you say "before marriage" I assume you mean she must keep her virginity for her husband until marriage.
 

kazz

Kingfisher
I had an old bloke say to me recently about the love of his life, mind you this is an old school real Aussie, this is how we (used to??) talk... He met is wife at 14 and married her soon after. " I was the first one in and I will be the last one out" I thought I guess thats one way of looking at it you grumpy old prick.
 

Dr. Howard

Peacock
Gold Member
Are most people unhappy?

I found if you can't be happy single, you also won't be happy in a couple.

Well said. Happiness is not an external force, it is internal. I was in a jungle in the Philippines where people lived in grass huts and had no shoes, yet there were a number of happy, lovin life, people there. By american standards they should all be miserable all of the time.

I am happy to be married to my wife, and enjoy it more as time goes by. I used to complain a lot more, and resent many of my wife's annoying behaviors. Then I got very sick for about 6 months. My perspective changed during that time. I am now just happy to be alive and be able to walk, and breathe and see the sunshine. The small things that would annoy me about my wife no longer bother me, and I appreciate the good things about her. What she does really has no bearing on my happiness anymore, that state of mind is between myself and God.
 

Dr. Howard

Peacock
Gold Member
Marriage is an absolute nightmare in today’s society, and I encourage every young man never, ever to get married. Just don’t do It.

If you mean today's secular society and its domestic partnership paperwork I agree. There is no point.

If you mean a covenant between a man, woman and God witnessed by their families, there isn't a better time. If you can find a woman who is willing to go against "the world" to align with you and God, you have found a good wife.
 

FactusIRX

Kingfisher
Yes. Marriage is hell. Especially since Men these days are programmed to behave as women and Vice Versa. If you try to Alpha up your wife she will try to Alpha up you. Best moment in my past 5 years....telling my wife I want a divorce. Forever MGTOW now.
There’s a Curb your Enthusiasm episode where Larry and his best friend are both getting divorced, and his married friend is jealous. I totally understand it now.

In the last week, I threatened my wife that I’m leaving, and it is only then does she apologize and let up. This is not a one time thing. It's a thing that I have learned repeatedly, over and over and over again. Marriage turns you into a sociopath. When I first got married, I was a chubby cheeked little boy that believed in the good of everyone, and also believed that problems can always be resolved rationally with discussion. Now, 7 years later, through repeated experience, I have learned that women are incapable of reason. They will drift and find problems. They will always be insecure. So the only way you can deal with it is by being a massive asshole that feels nothing, treasures nothing, values nothing, and is willing to destroy everything. You must not fear ruin. You must not fear death. You must not fear jail. You must not fear humiliation. You must not compromise. You must not show weakness. You must not bend. You must not break.

Funny enough, I have carried this hard hearted approach into my work and into my life and have become more successful because of it. The world, as it, values pain and dominance. It values cruelty. It values destruction.

The issue I have is trying to bridge the hard, hard lessons I have learned in life with being a Christian. The only thing I can think of is God saved Barabbas on the cross, so if I continue to pray, continue to repent, and continue to confess, I'll still be saved. But: this is not Eden, this is the Devil's world, where you struggle and you strive and then you die.
 

FactusIRX

Kingfisher
If you mean today's secular society and its domestic partnership paperwork I agree. There is no point.

If you mean a covenant between a man, woman and God witnessed by their families, there isn't a better time. If you can find a woman who is willing to go against "the world" to align with you and God, you have found a good wife.
Cute!
 
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