Are most married couples unhappy?

Maecenas

Sparrow
I think God should spend more time on ISIS and Antifa and less on normal people not causing harm, personally --
Oh, and all the starving people in third world countries.

Priorities!
This assumes that allowing misfortune is undesirable to God. Think about it, do you really think if God didn’t want that to happen, he would let it happen? Maybe there’s just something skewed in your own perspective, and there is, there’s lots that has been written about the question of evil and why God lets it happen if you ever want to explore this question further
 

FullThrottleTX

Woodpecker
This assumes that allowing misfortune is undesirable to God. Think about it, do you really think if God didn’t want that to happen, he would let it happen? Maybe there’s just something skewed in your own perspective, and there is, there’s lots that has been written about the question of evil and why God lets it happen if you ever want to seek that material

I encourage everyone here to pursue their religious beliefs, I think it's a good thing (probably good for society, I have no idea).
I'm like the forum's Joe Rogan. Switzerland.

I'm someone with a strong sense of self and I'm not likely pursuaded to join anything. Not a joiner.
 

Dr. Howard

Peacock
Gold Member
When you get married, you have two options:

A) give you balls over to your wife, and then start the clock. These are the guys who are just yes dear, two bags full. Depending on your wife, the clock may run out at 5 years or 20 years. But it always runs out. She’ll get tired of dominating you and will find someone else. During this period, you’ll be subject to more and more ridiculous behaviour. I have actually met a few Orthodox priests that fall into this category.

B) You hold on to your balls. Now, enjoy your life of constant conflict as your wife challenges you constantly. The only way this works is you have to be at the top of your game at all times. You’ll have to be a killer, who is prepared at anytime to walk away and lose everything. It’ll stop working when you get sick, old or frail, or lose your dominance. Like an old buck, some young buck will come and gore you, while leaving you for the wolves.

The idea that there is some third option is some fairy tale song that is told to you at night with a plate of cookies and warm milk. No woman, no matter how much she believes in God, can ever forget her nature. That’s the oldest story in the Good Book.

My advice for young men is to find a skill, spend 15 hours a day practicing it for 30 years. Once you perfect it, you’ll get a sense of the true essence of God. Then prepare yourself to meet your Creator.

I don't agree with the black pilled tone, but I do agree with some of the premise of the bolded part. I think being married gets the same push as "everyone needs to go to university or is a failure". Is it Paul? who writes that for some people it is just plain better to stay single. There is also the parable about marrying poorly and the dog choosing to sleep outside rather than in the den because he gets bit and harassed by the bitch all of the time.

Marriage, like university, isn't the path for everyone, but I feel like it is prescribed to everyone.

FactusIRX, have you read "love must be tough" by James Dobson? Its written in either the 70s or 80s and would be banned today because it is not 'nice' at all. He advises hitting the gas on a troubled marriage and forcing the other spouse to make a choice if they want to participate or not. The case studies he provides are insane, I had no idea such serial adultery was possible pre-internet.
 

McKinnsley

Sparrow
When you get married, you have two options:

A) give you balls over to your wife, and then start the clock. These are the guys who are just yes dear, two bags full. Depending on your wife, the clock may run out at 5 years or 20 years. But it always runs out. She’ll get tired of dominating you and will find someone else. During this period, you’ll be subject to more and more ridiculous behaviour. I have actually met a few Orthodox priests that fall into this category.

B) You hold on to your balls. Now, enjoy your life of constant conflict as your wife challenges you constantly. The only way this works is you have to be at the top of your game at all times. You’ll have to be a killer, who is prepared at anytime to walk away and lose everything. It’ll stop working when you get sick, old or frail, or lose your dominance. Like an old buck, some young buck will come and gore you, while leaving you for the wolves.

The idea that there is some third option is some fairy tale song that is told to you at night with a plate of cookies and warm milk. No woman, no matter how much she believes in God, can ever forget her nature. That’s the oldest story in the Good Book.

My advice for young men is to find a skill, spend 15 hours a day practicing it for 30 years. Once you perfect it, you’ll get a sense of the true essence of God. Then prepare yourself to meet your Creator.

Yeah, God was wrong :dislike:

What a pathetic and discouraging post you made for the younger and recovering hedonist members. Marriage is a union between man and woman designed by our creator - sure its hard in these times, as is finding a suitable partner. When you do find your 'other half', all of life's difficulties are on easy mode - they might still be hard, but easier.

A lifelong commitment with your best friend, with an agreement to make additional awesome humans, harnessing the difference between male and female capabilities for mutual good. God made a man and a woman and he knew what he was doing. Marriage is the default state for sexually active humans, it has a purpose and its benefits are bliss. Do we really wish to spit on a gift from God? Go forth and multiply.

Your post worships self and demonizes women.
 

RoadKill

Sparrow
I'd rather scare someone into being single than tell them to trust GOD and marry a godly woman and everything will sort itself out. It doesn't. People suck and when it's time to trust GOD when the storm is raging, they fail. And who is there to pick up the pieces? Who is there to assess the damage? Well, in the past, it was me!

I married a worldly woman first, before I knew GOD and a godly woman second after I found GOD. Both have been dumpster fires. Women only know destruction. They don't know how to build-up and encourage, only to tear down when they're insane. They never think of the long term effects of the crap they say or things they do. They destroy in the moment, without thinking. But what do I know?

I've said it before, and I'll say it again; resolve that you can be single, happy and lonely, or married, living in eternal misery, strife and discord. It will happen. Just give it time. I'm still married and don't give a damn anymore. I'm just in it for my son. I'm miserable every damn day. Praying, spiritual counsel, professional counseling, quoting scripture. None of it works.

All I know is that I'm telling my son when he's old enough that I don't want grandkids and to have his balls snipped before a woman ensnares him and ruins his life too.

RK
 

Elipe

Kingfisher
Talk about blackpilled. Going from reading redbeard’s thread to reading this thread is giving me two very different outlooks on marriage. Was thinking of getting married in my late 20s, can anyone give guidance on this? God bless.
Basically, be careful who you marry. It's not all blackpills, but it's also not all whitepills. Vet very, very carefully who you consider a potential wife. Make sure they know the Bible verses requiring that a Godly wife submits to her husband, and understand what that means. I mean, show them the Bible verses physically, with a physical Bible. Re-evaluate based on their response to that. If they respond like vampires to garlic, run, don't walk.
 
I think God should spend more time on ISIS and Antifa and less on normal people not causing harm, personally --
Oh, and all the starving people in third world countries.

Priorities!

God gave the human race the gift of free agency, and unfortunately, often it is used in horrible ways. The problems you mention, are caused by people making bad choices and not our Heavenly Father.
 

GWYW2015

Woodpecker
Decrease in sex is one thing. Shutting it off almost completely, except special occasions, like birthdays and holidays, is another. The latter is what modern women do. They do not see any duty to their man, religious or not. If a man brings it up, they still refuse. We do not have a society, closen-knit communities, or religious leaders telling them (repeatedly) otherwise.

We live in a society that celebrates female autonomy, a sinful idea. When female autonomy is celebrated, then females feel entitled to refuse sex to their husbands because "my body, my choice."
Sadly that is true but God still says "No, your body belongs to me and I say it also belongs to your husband sexually".
 

Thomas More

Hummingbird
Talk about blackpilled. Going from reading redbeard’s thread to reading this thread is giving me two very different outlooks on marriage. Was thinking of getting married in my late 20s, can anyone give guidance on this? God bless.

I would tell a young man to roll the dice, and try to be one of the winners. It's like trying to be a professional musician or athlete and being successful. Maybe that's not fair. The odds for marriage could be a little better. It's like having a long successful career in sales. Some men are able to do this, and it's a matter of luck as well as personality and effort. Most men will fail if they try a career in sales, and most will fail at marriage.

It's not like keeping in shape, which most men can do successfully if they follow some obvious guidelines. It's not like working steadily at your job, living on less than you make, and investing your savings by buying a home and paying it off, and putting money into your 401K. Most men can become prosperous by late middle age if they follow best practices here.

Marriage is not like that. Following best practices does not lead to a high probability of success. It's a crap shoot.

Most men who are divorced (which is most men) will say marriage sucks. The much smaller number of men who have reached late middle age and had a happy marriage will say it was good, but hard a lot of the time. Very few say it was wonderful.

However, it's probably best for young men to make a run for the gold, and see if they can be one of the few that win this game. Obviously, you should do your best to be able to attract a high quality woman, do your best to screen for a good wife, and do your best as a husband and father. Otherwise, you don't have a chance.
 
When you get married, you have two options:

A) give you balls over to your wife, and then start the clock. These are the guys who are just yes dear, two bags full. Depending on your wife, the clock may run out at 5 years or 20 years. But it always runs out. She’ll get tired of dominating you and will find someone else. During this period, you’ll be subject to more and more ridiculous behaviour. I have actually met a few Orthodox priests that fall into this category.

B) You hold on to your balls. Now, enjoy your life of constant conflict as your wife challenges you constantly. The only way this works is you have to be at the top of your game at all times. You’ll have to be a killer, who is prepared at anytime to walk away and lose everything. It’ll stop working when you get sick, old or frail, or lose your dominance. Like an old buck, some young buck will come and gore you, while leaving you for the wolves.

The idea that there is some third option is some fairy tale song that is told to you at night with a plate of cookies and warm milk. No woman, no matter how much she believes in God, can ever forget her nature. That’s the oldest story in the Good Book.

My advice for young men is to find a skill, spend 15 hours a day practicing it for 30 years. Once you perfect it, you’ll get a sense of the true essence of God. Then prepare yourself to meet your Creator.

I think you bring up some unfortunately very good points. I suppose a man must do his best to vette the woman, and then hope she does not change too much after marriage. It is certainly a roll of the dice, but you can modify the roll results, if you do things right. And simply being a regular church goer is not enough for either her or the man. I believe the company she keeps in her life, in her social circles, cannot be overstated as an important influencer. The family courts must be reformed to make the situation truly tenable for men.

Yes, the Bible is extremely red pilled to say the least.
 

GWYW2015

Woodpecker
When you get married, you have two options:

A) give you balls over to your wife, and then start the clock. These are the guys who are just yes dear, two bags full. Depending on your wife, the clock may run out at 5 years or 20 years. But it always runs out. She’ll get tired of dominating you and will find someone else. During this period, you’ll be subject to more and more ridiculous behaviour. I have actually met a few Orthodox priests that fall into this category.

B) You hold on to your balls. Now, enjoy your life of constant conflict as your wife challenges you constantly. The only way this works is you have to be at the top of your game at all times. You’ll have to be a killer, who is prepared at anytime to walk away and lose everything. It’ll stop working when you get sick, old or frail, or lose your dominance. Like an old buck, some young buck will come and gore you, while leaving you for the wolves.

The idea that there is some third option is some fairy tale song that is told to you at night with a plate of cookies and warm milk. No woman, no matter how much she believes in God, can ever forget her nature. That’s the oldest story in the Good Book.

My advice for young men is to find a skill, spend 15 hours a day practicing it for 30 years. Once you perfect it, you’ll get a sense of the true essence of God. Then prepare yourself to meet your Creator.
So when did God change his word to us to get married? Was he wrong when he told us to get married "Let every man have his own wife and let every woman have her own husband"? Is there a time men will lose their sex drives and then not need to marry? I don't think so. When the going gets tough...the tough go MGTOW?

No. We might need to look elswhere, we might need to lower our standards but I do believe this, that when a man desperately wants to obey God, he should be able to have some confidence in God (not circumstances) that God can find him a wife. Like Psalm 37.3,4,5-

Psalm 37:3-5

New International Version



3 Trust in the Lord and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
4 Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
5 Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in him and he will do this:

Times are bleak. But trust-delight-commit. What we are doing and how we are living has a direct effect on obtaining the desires of our heart.
Even if someone were to tell me that this is "only" saying that God will give us the things TO desire, marriage IS one of those things.

No, you likely eventually will not "get it" as much as you'd like but the Bible doesn't allow for getting any at all if you are single. That should be enough to send chills down our spines and try harder to get married. God wants men and women to get married; it's his idea. Nothing has changed from his point of view or his ability to get it done.
 

bucky

Ostrich
I would tell a young man to roll the dice, and try to be one of the winners. It's like trying to be a professional musician or athlete and being successful. Maybe that's not fair. The odds for marriage could be a little better. It's like having a long successful career in sales. Some men are able to do this, and it's a matter of luck as well as personality and effort. Most men will fail if they try a career in sales, and most will fail at marriage.

It's not like keeping in shape, which most men can do successfully if they follow some obvious guidelines. It's not like working steadily at your job, living on less than you make, and investing your savings by buying a home and paying it off, and putting money into your 401K. Most men can become prosperous by late middle age if they follow best practices here.

Marriage is not like that. Following best practices does not lead to a high probability of success. It's a crap shoot.

Most men who are divorced (which is most men) will say marriage sucks. The much smaller number of men who have reached late middle age and had a happy marriage will say it was good, but hard a lot of the time. Very few say it was wonderful.


However, it's probably best for young men to make a run for the gold, and see if they can be one of the few that win this game. Obviously, you should do your best to be able to attract a high quality woman, do your best to screen for a good wife, and do your best as a husband and father. Otherwise, you don't have a chance.

I'll be fifty soon, I'm married with kids and it's pretty much heaven on Earth. I realized recently that I don't think I've ever been this happy. Maybe you're right that it's more or less a crap shoot, I don't know. I certainly don't deserve the life I have.

My wife was a virgin when I met her, but then again so was my ex-wife and that marriage was as much of a "dumpster fire" as any of the bad marriages all the black pillers described in the last few posts. I did learn basic game between getting divorced and marrying again, which helped. One thing I believe is that your wife must at least perceive your SMV as higher than hers and she must really fear losing you. Maybe being married to a devout Catholic helps, because she really believes that she only gets one shot at being married and puts a lot more effort into it than most wives do.
 
Women stop the sex at a certain point (usually 1-2 years after cohabitation), causing much marital strife, as testified by millennia of men's complaints. So even if everything else in a marriage is ok, the female withholding men sex makes the men unhappy. Only external force by religion and society rights this; unfortunately, unless you're in a closed, religious community, our current culture and weak Christian leadership guarantees your woman will stop having sex she owes you and make you miserable.

Monkhood seems the only option.

Being religious doesn’t necessarily change anything in that regard. St. John Chrysostom used to exhort wives to please be intimate with their husbands, and he wouldn’t have had to do that if religiosity automatically brought a never-ending supply of intimacy. I also know an Orthodox guy whose wife denied him intimacy for seven years until he couldn’t take it anymore and, against the advice of the Church of course, divorced her and remarried. You really never know with these things.
 

Waverer

Robin
I don't agree with the black pilled tone, but I do agree with some of the premise of the bolded part. I think being married gets the same push as "everyone needs to go to university or is a failure". Is it Paul? who writes that for some people it is just plain better to stay single. There is also the parable about marrying poorly and the dog choosing to sleep outside rather than in the den because he gets bit and harassed by the bitch all of the time.

Is the dog parable in the Bible? Does anyone have chapter and verse?
 
Being religious doesn’t necessarily change anything in that regard. St. John Chrysostom used to exhort wives to please be intimate with their husbands, and he wouldn’t have had to do that if religiosity automatically brought a never-ending supply of intimacy. I also know an Orthodox guy whose wife denied him intimacy for seven years until he couldn’t take it anymore and, against the advice of the Church of course, divorced her and remarried. You really never know with these things.

I remember "Ronin Man" on Youtube, a mgtow channel presenter, having a rather chilling episode about how the best sex your wife will ever have will not be with you, but the guy she choses to cheat with... He went into great detail about how the very nature of transgressing will make for fantastic sex, in her mind and body. The guy discussed how culture and biology wires her this way. I found it sad and depressing.

And of course because so many women work, this creates an environment very conducive to cheating. A married woman may see her husband as basically a household partner, and not a lover, as kids and mundane activities take over their lives. But at work she feels valued/recognized and then finds herself feeling strong chemistry with a male workmate, and one thing leads to another. I read a book by a marriage therapist who said this is the common infidelity scenario for women. The title of the book was, "It Came Out Of The Blue Like A Scheduled Airline Flight."
 
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