Ass wiping technique

[Rawmeo]

And there isn't a guy in here that hasn't bent a girl over for doggy style and got that unmistakable whiff of boner-deflating monkey butt. Not every time, but some girls that otherwise seem hygenical don't know how to take care of business in the nether-regions.

It happens a lot with Western girls, as bathrooms are generally equipped with only a dry toilet paper roll beside the toilet. And since they wipe their arses using just that, and teach the same to kids, etc. it makes a generation of dirty asses. It is VERY disgusting to smell poo when eating a girl down there, and it's an instant boner killer.

That's why countries like Japan and Thailand use bum guns. Makes the ass A LOT cleaner, no smell left, and no peanut butter wiping that leaves traces. Take a dump, rinse for at least 30 seconds, use paper to dry, and get your ass eaten. Easy.

I think every house in the world should be equiped with a bum gun. Very inexpensive to install.

 

[Guitarman]

I'm now thinking this whole thread is just a "shit test".....

 

[Pride male]

What about a thread closing technique?

 

[Mentavious]

Is it okay to flush baby wipes down the toilet??

I once flushed a rag that I used to wipe my ass down the toilet.....

Let's just I had a messy situation to clean up...

 

[aSimpNamedBrokeback]

Is it okay to flush baby wipes down the toilet??

I assume they make it all the way down to the sewage station and are caught in the screen like everything flushed down the toilet. At least I hope they do or I have 10 years worth of wipes they are going to turn up somewhere.

 

[Fortis]

I think I leveled up: I can instantly look at a thread title and click and know that the OP is banned.

 

[RockHard]

Even though the OP was banned, I do think that proper ass-wiping technique is something that should be taught to every kid right along with brushing your tongue and shaving.

Or else you'll end up like Cpl. Atcherly

 

[RougeNoir]

^ Agreed.

I have the luxury of an ass-hose here in Southeast Asia, but when I'm in the states, I use baby wipes.

OP came out on this topic wrong, but it is an important subject for the simple reason that so many people don't think to up their TP game. The very idea is ridiculed.

Some of you boys probably have some rank smelling asses.

No troll.

Flushing baby wipes clogs up the toilets. Do you throw them away in a plastic bag each session? They would stink up the entire restroom if you just threw them in the trash.

 

[HonantheBarbarian]

I am always staggered by the complete ignorance and ridicule directed towards the idea of a bidet by Americans and westerners in general.

 

[Aphex]

Wait... wipe?

 

[shameus_o'reaaly]

Dissappointed nobody made a reference to Rabelais and his keen observations on this point:

Afterwards, in dunging behind a bush, I found a March-cat, and with it I wiped my breech, but her claws were so sharp that they scratched and exulcerated all my perinee. Of this I recovered the next morning thereafter, by wiping myself with my mother's gloves, of a most excellent perfume and scent of the Arabian Benin. After that I wiped me with sage, with fennel, with anet, with marjoram, with roses, with gourd-leaves, with beets, with colewort, with leaves of the vine-tree, with mallows, wool-blade, which is a tail-scarlet, with lettuce, and with spinach leaves. All this did very great good to my leg. Then with mercury, with parsley, with nettles, with comfrey, but that gave me the bloody flux of Lombardy, which I healed by wiping me with my braguette. Then I wiped my tail in the sheets, in the coverlet, in the curtains, with a cushion, with arras hangings, with a green carpet, with a table-cloth, with a napkin, with a handkerchief, with a combing-cloth; in all which I found more pleasure than do the mangy dogs when you rub them. Yea, but, said Grangousier, which torchecul did you find to be the best? I was coming to it, said Gargantua, and by-and-by shall you hear the tu autem, and know the whole mystery and knot of the matter. I wiped myself with hay, with straw, with thatch-rushes, with flax, with wool, with paper, but,

Who his foul tail with paper wipes,
Shall at his ballocks leave some chips.

Yes, I do much reading on the toilet. I like to multitask.
Don't put me in the toilet like the OP, though; I did bring classical literature into a thread about wiping your ass, which is quite a difficult thing to do, even when playing 'Six degrees of separation'

 

[Bolly]

The three things one is guaranteed to never find in a Peruvian establishment. Toilet paper, soap, and paper towels. Without fail.

And now four things #4 el mech

What is wrong with these people?

It's just one less expense you have to worry about as a business owner. Every Nuevo Sole counts in this country.

 

[mastauser]

God damnit I read "Ass whipping techniques" and got really excited when I clicked.

What a letdown.

 

[Foolsgo1d]

I dunno if anti-bacterial soap would be wise to you use on yourself there. It might kill gut flora (bacteria) which you DON't want to do for good health. It can than easily be replaced by nastier bacteria which tends to be opportunistic.

How are wet wipers with the moist toilettes not clogging the drains?

Also if your cleaning in the shower, do you get blockages often in the pipes?

Its an external part. The soap isn't going deep inside you.

 

[Mikan]

Is it okay to flush baby wipes down the toilet??

I assume they make it all the way down to the sewage station and are caught in the screen like everything flushed down the toilet. At least I hope they do or I have 10 years worth of wipes they are going to turn up somewhere.

Wipes are the way to go, but large cities have been facing problems from wipes for some time now.

http://gizmodo.com/your-precious-wet-wipes-are-destroying-your-citys-sewer-1691259389

http://www.washingtonpost.com/local...9bdab6-2451-11e3-ad0d-b7c8d2a594b9_story.html

I keep one of these in the bathroom:
http://smile.amazon.com/Diaper-Dekor-Plus-Disposal-System/dp/B00005V6C8/

It has a clamping mechanism that cinches off the top of the trash bag when it closes to prevent odor escape. They also use a sort of continuous bag system that is a long plastic tube that you knot off on either end of the trash, cut it with the built in cutter and throw out, leaving the next segment to tube to be the next bag. You can, and I do, use scented bags as well.

The whole system works well. I use it for pipe cleaners to prevent the smell of resin from stinking up the house too.

There is nothing about the product outside of the packaging that indicates it is intended for diapers. It looks like a modern pedal style trash can.

 

[RIslander]

I would like to give a post-mortem thank you to Bounce for getting me to rethink my ass wiping technique. I just installed one of these bad boys and its glorious:

Luxe Bidet Neo 120

$40. This thing has enough power to clean the shit off a rhino at 30 yards.

 

[philosophical_recovery]

$40. This thing has enough power to clean the shit off a rhino at 30 yards.

How do lizards react to you having this setup?

 

[RIslander]

$40. This thing has enough power to clean the shit off a rhino at 30 yards.

How do lizards react to you having this setup?

Haha that is yet to be seen. I have one coming over tomorrow... although shes Korean and I'm pretty sure bidets are already popular there.

First girl to say something negative is going to get a "And how do you wipe your ass.... with your hands?



(skip to 0:55)

 

[MidWest]

Does anybody else use napkins when they run out of toilet paper? I know boy scouts use rocks or anything else to wipe their ass with.

 

[Aurini]

Real men don't wipe; they power-shit.

Clean as a whistle.