Yes, absolutely, you can share my post with the bishop if you believe that will be helpful to the priest.Rob:
I will do this publicly, because it's important for anyone in future who stumbles across this who has similar problems with 'being good'.
Turning to God into Contemplation yesterday and this morning, a lot came to mind. And this is where I strongly suggest when you have these calls to an emotional venting online to turn to God first in prayer instead. Talk to him. Take him your problems, any burden you're carrying, and ask him to carry them for you. He will give you sufficient grace to bear your trials, and it works better if you don't whinge about the crosses you're expected to carry. The more space you give him in your life, by giving up the things you're attached to, the more he will fill you with his spirit.
For example, this 'occurred' to me during the rosary:
Satan will strike at the Shepherd in an attempt to scatter his sheep.
So, hold your ground.
With further prayer, here's a good example of Divine Providence in action:
- I was 'pushed' to Church by God on Saturday night, and talked to the Bishop, explaining the danger of Our Priest's work.
- You had your indiscreet emotional outburst, as you have a tendency to do. Meaning, your Out of Control Irascible Appetite (Anger) in your Animal Soul flares up and overrides your ability to make a rational Cogitative Judgement (your 'case by case' sense of moral reason) in your Spiritual Soul.
Once again, you are asking your Cogitation, 'what is the right thing to do?', but, due to its damaged nature, it responds:
This is the core of your problem with anger, despair, violence and drug use, and, until it is repaired, no amount of finding the right level of holiness if your religious structure will ever satisfy you, because you're expecting the Church to function as your Cogitative Power every single time you need to make a moral judgement, and that's beyond any earthly physical structure. Very politely: you've been expecting the forum to function the same way, and it's beyond all of us. God doesn't work that way. He wants to get to the root cause of the sin, and, particularly, he loves the heroic effort involved for us to go into these places and memories that are very physically-and-emotionally uncomfortable for us, and, if you can navigate this with courage and firm resolution, you will arrive in a very deep, loving relationship with Our Lord and things will start to get better.
- What you've done, however, is to provide a perfect illustration of what I was trying to explain to the Bishop: the unrepressed irascibility quickly overrides any gratitude or charity and turns against the Priest and Church.
Everything happens for a reason.
With that, may I ask your permission to share your post with the Bishop and I'll talk him through Our Priest's Doctorate? I don't want his sacrifice and hard work to be in vain, and it's just a matter of finding the right person higher in the church structure who listens. Because, otherwise, this pattern will repeat itself again and again, as it has for decades, to the great embarrassment and sanctity of the Church. There needs to be structural processes put in place for how to handle people like yourself and Our Priest has written those works.
I have no idea what you discussed with the Priest - seal of ministry, it's not my business - but did he ever bring up a process called RAAPRA for you? This is a series of mental steps that will act in place of your Cogitative Power until it is gradually-healed. He might have targeted the more pressing issues first.
Understand there's a LOT going on my end with many other people, some in worse emotional states, so I don't have a tonne of time to discuss every single moral question you have, and, because of this issue, it's impossible for anyone human to do this for you. This isn't to invalidate your pain, but I respond to what God shows has to be addressed first, meaning, He has you through this. Be patient. I'll get to you when I can. I'll need time to clearly write up RAAPRA to be able to talk you through the process so you can use this any time you have a 'what do i do here?' moment.
Also, understand that through ministry, I need downtime to offload other people's empathic baggage, since that is my Charism. Meaning, I spent about 5 hours in prayer yesterday, spread throughout the day at various times, giving back to God the burdens that have been unloaded onto me, the weight of which sometimes threatens to crush me. And I bear that joyfully for God, but it's a very important part of ministry that has to be done between each 'case' I work with because it's possible for me to pass the first person's baggage onto the next person I work with. I'm about to go pray for an hour to give your burdens, which have been my concern for the last 3 1/2 hours since I awoke, up to Jesus. The moment I get back, I'm onto the next person. This is why I write so little on the forum. Please, I beg your patience. Turn to God in prayer in the meantime, he might even step in and lift the burdens from both of us.
Is there a local library near you, or seminary? See if they have this book. It's well worth a read. There's even a chapter titled "What to do when the Church fails you."
I’m not sure if me and the priest discussed RAAPRA. The acronym sounds familiar, but I don’t believe I heard it from him.
He did tell me about how my cogitative judgements are damaged. But I am not sure what that actually means. When I look up the definitions online, “cogitation” and “cognition” seem to have almost the same dictionary definition, but the priest had told me they are actually very different.
Thanks for the response. I will try and check out that book.
EDIT: I Googled “RAAPRA” and all I’m getting is rap and music videos. Maybe you can explain what RAAPRA is when you have a chance. Thanks.