Reply to thread

Message

<blockquote data-quote="PixelFree" data-source="post: 1299226" data-attributes="member: 13577">These were certainly two concepts that helped me.It wasn't that long ago that Western marriage was more of a (less emotional) business deal, rather than a 'love marriage' - a joining of families wealth and for kids, with parents and equivalent socio-economic status being a part of it.&nbsp; It still is this way in some parts of the world (e.g. India, with parents browsing online sites with potential wives for their sons - the richer the son, the hotter the wife pretty much).&nbsp; Obviously you want to have the best relationship you can but if we set our expectations at the 'business deal' low level end of the spectrum then we can shift that focus away from deriving fulfillment from your partner to other things.All of these expectations around finding someone who is our 'soulmate' who 'completes you' with never ending snappy one-liners like someone from the cast of Friends is Hollywood propaganda that sets us up for relationship failure.Deliberately creating some space and time out in the relationship is another great call too.&nbsp; Men and women in couples have never spent so much time together in the past, back as hunter gathers right up until the agricultural era with men spending all their daylight hours working out on the farm with his son(s).&nbsp; All that grudge time mindlessly watching Netflix on the couch drains the life out of our relationships.&nbsp; Organise a long weekend away camping with your buddies and see how things are when you come back on Mon/Tues.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="PixelFree, post: 1299226, member: 13577"] These were certainly two concepts that helped me. It wasn't that long ago that Western marriage was more of a (less emotional) business deal, rather than a 'love marriage' - a joining of families wealth and for kids, with parents and equivalent socio-economic status being a part of it. It still is this way in some parts of the world (e.g. India, with parents browsing online sites with potential wives for their sons - the richer the son, the hotter the wife pretty much). Obviously you want to have the best relationship you can but if we set our expectations at the 'business deal' low level end of the spectrum then we can shift that focus away from deriving fulfillment from your partner to other things. All of these expectations around finding someone who is our 'soulmate' who 'completes you' with never ending snappy one-liners like someone from the cast of Friends is Hollywood propaganda that sets us up for relationship failure. Deliberately creating some space and time out in the relationship is another great call too. Men and women in couples have [b]never [/b]spent so much time together in the past, back as hunter gathers right up until the agricultural era with men spending all their daylight hours working out on the farm with his son(s). All that grudge time mindlessly watching Netflix on the couch drains the life out of our relationships. Organise a long weekend away camping with your buddies and see how things are when you come back on Mon/Tues. [/QUOTE]

Verification