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<blockquote data-quote="questor70" data-source="post: 1154132" data-attributes="member: 12560">I've noticed a roughly 50/50 split between people here who feel that cheating is an acceptable response (for either gender) when you're not getting what you want out of the relationship vs. a dishonorable violation of trust.&nbsp; I don't like the double-standard of blasting women for always looking around to trade up (hypergamy) on the one hand and saying it's &quot;perfectly normal&quot; to maintain a sham of a marriage for the sake of the kids and spin plates on the side.If people want a free pass to screw around then you talk it through and make it polyamorous.&nbsp; But cheating is called cheating for a reason.&nbsp; It's inherently dishonest and a violation of trust, and it makes no difference whether the man or woman does it or who is the cheater vs. the cheatee.As far as kids go, kids will know when mommy and daddy have no warmth, let alone when they are harboring resentments and just dragging themselves forward.&nbsp; I wound up getting a divorce because I was being actively humiliated by my wife who thought I would never risk losing access to the kids by filing.&nbsp; And my cousin is currently in a toxic loveless marriage, effectively separated and yet cohabitating.Being a parent makes you face the dilemma of whether humans are inherently monogamous or not head-on, but I think it's more important that kids are shown what a good marriage looks like, not just a marriage in name only.&nbsp; If it's a sham, then you're better off divorced.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="questor70, post: 1154132, member: 12560"] I've noticed a roughly 50/50 split between people here who feel that cheating is an acceptable response (for either gender) when you're not getting what you want out of the relationship vs. a dishonorable violation of trust. I don't like the double-standard of blasting women for always looking around to trade up (hypergamy) on the one hand and saying it's "perfectly normal" to maintain a sham of a marriage for the sake of the kids and spin plates on the side. If people want a free pass to screw around then you talk it through and make it polyamorous. But cheating is called cheating for a reason. It's inherently dishonest and a violation of trust, and it makes no difference whether the man or woman does it or who is the cheater vs. the cheatee. As far as kids go, kids will know when mommy and daddy have no warmth, let alone when they are harboring resentments and just dragging themselves forward. I wound up getting a divorce because I was being actively humiliated by my wife who thought I would never risk losing access to the kids by filing. And my cousin is currently in a toxic loveless marriage, effectively separated and yet cohabitating. Being a parent makes you face the dilemma of whether humans are inherently monogamous or not head-on, but I think it's more important that kids are shown what a [b]good[/b] marriage looks like, not just a marriage in name only. If it's a sham, then you're better off divorced. [/QUOTE]

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