Blue Pill Christianity

Grow Bag

Kingfisher
For some weeks now I've been trying to find a clued up church, any church as this point, for IRL fellowship. My other motivation is that I have a need for healing for a spiritual (demonic) problem that has escalated dramatically since my prayer life recommenced in earnest. Consequently I've been looking at various church websites online and sending emails to establish contact. I would much prefer to visit church elders, but it seems that the churches around here have completely bought into the narrative and have become virtual churches, with IRL meetings on hold and replaced by regular zoom meetings. But it is even worse than that. One church in the city nearby is looking to use it's premises as a gene therapy centre and has even advertised for a qualified volunteer to give shots. Another church has a charitable arm called "Israel Aid" and collects for Jewish refugees arriving in Israel. And on and on it goes.

The fact is, I haven't found a single church or Christian group where I would feel at home. If we are correct in our findings here, and I believe we are, that the world is on the cusp of Satanic totalitarian rule, then why are so many Christians being duped? Is the Holy Spirit not warning them, or are they just not hearing? I believe it's the later, but I can't account for it.

At the root of my return to the Christian faith is that I became convinced, through my own experiences, that the demonic realm is real. Ephesians 6:12 kept coming to mind as I witnessed evil triumphing time after time. Then in the last 2 years I've experienced the demonic personally and live with it daily. Though I won't be specific about the details here, I'm under attack and need a mature Christian, a Father Rippinger figure if you will, to talk to. It used to be that I was assailed only at night, but since I started reading up on deliverance and sending off emails, this evil presence is now making itself palpable to me even in the daytime. I pray for direction, that I might find the spiritual help I need, to no avail so far.

I just wanted to get this off my chest. I know this will come across as childish gripe, but in regards to my faith I literally am a baby, so I need the guidance of mature Christians.
 

Mark-David

Pigeon
I can't help you with the specifics of finding a particular church but I sympathize with what you're going through. I was baptized an Anglican but eventually left that church due to female bishops, and a sequence of softening in doctrine, including on sodomy. Like you, I went through a long period in a spiritual desert where I felt I was under demonic attack. When you read the Bible, and the sayings of the Desert Fathers, you'll notice that periods of isolation are associated both with increased sense of the Divine and also with attempts at demonic assault. The more I tried to strive for holiness, the more temptations were placed in front of me, every single day, almost like taunts. With diligent prayer and study and reading the stories of holy people you can beat this. Do as much as you possibly can, and then let God do the rest. Eventually I found a very small nondenominational church under the very good guidance of seven male elders. The instruction I've received has been among the best I've experienced, though I also enjoy Orthodox teachings. I believe that in time, with prayer, you will come out of the desert and find the elders you're seeking. Stay strong.
 

NickK

Woodpecker
Orthodox
It's not childish at all, it's a serious situation you 're in (I had similar experiences in the past).

You 're abslutely right that visiting elders is what you need right now.
My advice would be to visit Orthodox monasteries, even if it means driving several hours.

Ultimately, only the Orthodox mysteries can heal us: baptism, confession and the Eucharist.
 

DanielH

Pelican
Orthodox
I'd say find an Orthodox monastery where you can stay overnight - if they're allowing overnight guests they're probably not going to be concerned about covid. Every Orthodox Christian receives an exorcism as part of the baptism ceremony. One of my favorite days ever was when me and my then girlfriend (now wife) spent just a few hours at a monastery. We contacted the abbot beforehand and got a tour, a meal, and got to stay for a service.
 
As a Catholic, you should first and foremost go to confession. Satan and his demons love you to sin and hate you. Confession will cleanse your soul. Phone up your parish or another parish and make that step.
Then visit a TLM. It will transform your belief. There should be multiple sites in a radius of 30 miles from you. You could look for FSSP and SPPX parishes too. They are usually very traditional and do not give a hoot about the coof.
 
Aside from denominational differences, many scholars teach that when Christians (or not) are living in sins or they are knowingly/unknowingly practicing even "light" occultism, then they are permitting evil beings to enter.
The first step to ending the occupation is closing the door. Stop doing things that are constantly attracting demons. Spoiled meat is attracting parasites, and a spoiled lifestyle is attracting demons. Remove also all things related to sin and occultism in your home. Wicked books, movies, music, amulets, etc.

When you are clean from dirt, the next step is to fill the void with God's presence. Do not leave your life and home just empty, because evil can return. You need to replace everything bad with the good.
And because only God is good it has to be His presence in your life.

Repent truly from your sins. Give your life to Jesus. Even when you did it before, do it again. Tell Him, you want to be saved and clean.
Read the Bible. Listen to good sermons. Fill your home with Christian music. Pray wholeheartedly daily.

Everyone can become a prodigal, lost son. But we don't need to be living with pigs forever. We just need to return home to Father.
 

Grow Bag

Kingfisher
Thanks for all your comments they're all helpful, in that I've felt quite isolated with this problem. I had been wrestling with which denomination would suit me best, but this attack escalated so quickly I no longer have the luxury of choice. It simply has to be dealt with, so I'll go see Christians of any denomination who're experienced in the deliverance ministry and are willing to be meet me IRL. So far only an Anglican reverend has responded with any effort to my emails (I've sent 5). I got a terse iPhone message back from one of the 2 Catholic organisations who profess to run healing ministries, the other community did not reply.

In the next few days I plan on visiting some churches in hope that I can meet a priest and have an actual conversation.
 

Eric The Awful

Woodpecker
Gold Member
Also, if possible, find a few IRL friends who are mature Christians. This can be easier said than done. I was fortunate in that I have a couple of old Navy buddies who are strong believers and I can rely on them if I need encouragement. One of them lives about 35 miles from me and we try to get together physically about every other month to eat, have a couple of beers, and maintain an accountability between each other.

You'll never find a "perfect" church. I try to focus on finding a church I can serve in some capacity at. My last church was small and I ran the computer. I called myself the church CIO. The church I'm currently going to reached out to me about serving as a co-leader for a 7th grade small group. It's not something I would have considered on my own, but I am trained in small group leadership from a church in my past and I find it to be a good way I can serve. The church is pretty based. A couple of months ago, they gave us about 4 weeks of lessons on sexual sin. I took one look and thought "I can't talk about this with 7th graders!" but the middle and high school pastors had already prepared the field and we were able to adapt the lesson far better than I expected.
 
Thanks for all your comments they're all helpful, in that I've felt quite isolated with this problem. I had been wrestling with which denomination would suit me best, but this attack escalated so quickly I no longer have the luxury of choice. It simply has to be dealt with, so I'll go see Christians of any denomination who're experienced in the deliverance ministry and are willing to be meet me IRL. So far only an Anglican reverend has responded with any effort to my emails (I've sent 5). I got a terse iPhone message back from one of the 2 Catholic organisations who profess to run healing ministries, the other community did not reply.

In the next few days I plan on visiting some churches in hope that I can meet a priest and have an actual conversation.

Whether of the Reformed,Baptist, Orthodox Parish or so forth. Seek everyone that takes the Bible seriously.

And continue to do what you can. Continue to Pray. And considering the severity of this attack. Fast as well to help you.

Ask God earnestly to send the Angelic Host to guard you day and night. Helped this man suffering sleep paralysis:

There were times that sleep paralysis attacks would happen so frequently that I would think in my head before it happens “and here we go again.” But one night I did something differently and prayed to Jesus to send an angel to protect me. I saw in the spirit an angel standing outside my bedroom window and I didn’t get attacked that night. I never asked because I would think “who am I to ask God to send an angel on my behalf?” Thanks be to God that He would dispatch an angel for believers especially if you ask.

See if this works. And get back to us.

Here is the website I read that could help give you clues.
 

Grow Bag

Kingfisher
Whether of the Reformed,Baptist, Orthodox Parish or so forth. Seek everyone that takes the Bible seriously.

And continue to do what you can. Continue to Pray. And considering the severity of this attack. Fast as well to help you.

Ask God earnestly to send the Angelic Host to guard you day and night. Helped this man suffering sleep paralysis:



See if this works. And get back to us.

Here is the website I read that could help give you clues.
I've read the linked webpage and there are a lot of similarities in our experiences. What was reassuring for me was that both of us experienced an escalation in occurrences and severity of attacks after our recommitting our lives to Christ. Ever since I'd made huge strides in forgiving those who had wronged me (smouldering resentment is a real weakness of mine) and being more disciplined in my prayer life, things have gotten crazy.

I've had (and am having as I type this) what I'll call for want of a better phrase, paraphysical assaults. I feel like I'm being stuck with a long needle in my back and have had shooting pains down my legs and even in my chest, all the while feeling this entity moving around both within me and around me. Where we differ is in how we perceive this phenomenon. With me the paralysis episodes are indeed very frightening and there is general sense of evil, but the far more common waking episodes, even in the daytime, I sense a petty vindictiveness, rather than outright evil.

It's all so bizarre that I almost feel idiotic typing this, but it's what's been happening to me. In the past week I've stopped getting so angry with this imp and simply try to ignore all the bells and whistles it creates (tingling, goosebumps, feeling of being probed and needled , chills). I now play the New Testament at low volume while I lay in bed and have managed to nick a few hours sleep here and there, which is an improvement on being up all night. I taken this more dismissive approach as it's what I've gleaned from reading about some of the desert fathers and monks of St Athos, who often dealt with demons as if they're a mere annoyance.

As far as a traditional mass goes, the nearest SSPX is about 80 miles away. It's doable, but on my plodder of a motorbike it's a fair schlepp there and back.
 

Grow Bag

Kingfisher
Since the thread is about blue-pill Christianity I thought I'd drag the thread back to this issue. I managed to find a couple of sermons by the pastor of the Pentecostal church I visited and as I listened to 60+ year old man expound on Black Lives Matter, racial injustice, white guilt, trusting the experts, submitting to authority during Covid, big pharma altruistically coming to the rescue, I found myself thinking "OK boomer". If I had actually gone to see him, as I was advised to do, we would've clashed in the first 5 minutes.
 
I've read the linked webpage and there are a lot of similarities in our experiences. What was reassuring for me was that both of us experienced an escalation in occurrences and severity of attacks after our recommitting our lives to Christ. Ever since I'd made huge strides in forgiving those who had wronged me (smouldering resentment is a real weakness of mine) and being more disciplined in my prayer life, things have gotten crazy.

I've had (and am having as I type this) what I'll call for want of a better phrase, paraphysical assaults. I feel like I'm being stuck with a long needle in my back and have had shooting pains down my legs and even in my chest, all the while feeling this entity moving around both within me and around me. Where we differ is in how we perceive this phenomenon. With me the paralysis episodes are indeed very frightening and there is general sense of evil, but the far more common waking episodes, even in the daytime, I sense a petty vindictiveness, rather than outright evil.

It's all so bizarre that I almost feel idiotic typing this, but it's what's been happening to me. In the past week I've stopped getting so angry with this imp and simply try to ignore all the bells and whistles it creates (tingling, goosebumps, feeling of being probed and needled , chills). I now play the New Testament at low volume while I lay in bed and have managed to nick a few hours sleep here and there, which is an improvement on being up all night. I taken this more dismissive approach as it's what I've gleaned from reading about some of the desert fathers and monks of St Athos, who often dealt with demons as if they're a mere annoyance.

As far as a traditional mass goes, the nearest SSPX is about 80 miles away. It's doable, but on my plodder of a motorbike it's a fair schlepp there and back.
Ok. Although having Angels guard you at night should grant you full nights sleep.

As I quoted he stopped getting harassed at all when he asked the LORD for that.

The only thing in his account that truly stopped the attacks.
 
I've read the linked webpage and there are a lot of similarities in our experiences. What was reassuring for me was that both of us experienced an escalation in occurrences and severity of attacks after our recommitting our lives to Christ. Ever since I'd made huge strides in forgiving those who had wronged me (smouldering resentment is a real weakness of mine) and being more disciplined in my prayer life, things have gotten crazy.

I've had (and am having as I type this) what I'll call for want of a better phrase, paraphysical assaults. I feel like I'm being stuck with a long needle in my back and have had shooting pains down my legs and even in my chest, all the while feeling this entity moving around both within me and around me. Where we differ is in how we perceive this phenomenon. With me the paralysis episodes are indeed very frightening and there is general sense of evil, but the far more common waking episodes, even in the daytime, I sense a petty vindictiveness, rather than outright evil.

It's all so bizarre that I almost feel idiotic typing this, but it's what's been happening to me. In the past week I've stopped getting so angry with this imp and simply try to ignore all the bells and whistles it creates (tingling, goosebumps, feeling of being probed and needled , chills). I now play the New Testament at low volume while I lay in bed and have managed to nick a few hours sleep here and there, which is an improvement on being up all night. I taken this more dismissive approach as it's what I've gleaned from reading about some of the desert fathers and monks of St Athos, who often dealt with demons as if they're a mere annoyance.

As far as a traditional mass goes, the nearest SSPX is about 80 miles away. It's doable, but on my plodder of a motorbike it's a fair schlepp there and back.
Any updates? How is it going?
 

Grow Bag

Kingfisher
Not much to report. There have been no real developments in regards to emails I sent out, so my intention is to fast and pray for my own healing and direction.
I've found in the last week that if I place my attention on my heart and pray inwardly when I'm in bed and ignore the manifestations, I do manage to get some sleep. At the moment I'm preparing for a fast and am cutting down on and eliminating certain habits (snus and carbohydrates). As always my mind goes woolly and vague when I cut out addictions, so I'm not going to be posting much for a few days at least.
 
Not much to report. There have been no real developments in regards to emails I sent out, so my intention is to fast and pray for my own healing and direction.
I've found in the last week that if I place my attention on my heart and pray inwardly when I'm in bed and ignore the manifestations, I do manage to get some sleep. At the moment I'm preparing for a fast and am cutting down on and eliminating certain habits (snus and carbohydrates). As always my mind goes woolly and vague when I cut out addictions, so I'm not going to be posting much for a few days at least.

Do ask God for Angelic protection.
 
I can't help you with the specifics of finding a particular church but I sympathize with what you're going through. I was baptized an Anglican but eventually left that church due to female bishops, and a sequence of softening in doctrine, including on sodomy. Like you, I went through a long period in a spiritual desert where I felt I was under demonic attack. When you read the Bible, and the sayings of the Desert Fathers, you'll notice that periods of isolation are associated both with increased sense of the Divine and also with attempts at demonic assault. The more I tried to strive for holiness, the more temptations were placed in front of me, every single day, almost like taunts. With diligent prayer and study and reading the stories of holy people you can beat this. Do as much as you possibly can, and then let God do the rest. Eventually I found a very small nondenominational church under the very good guidance of seven male elders. The instruction I've received has been among the best I've experienced, though I also enjoy Orthodox teachings. I believe that in time, with prayer, you will come out of the desert and find the elders you're seeking. Stay strong.

Congratulations for finding a church and spiritual elders you were seeking. I've been in isolation for large parts of the lockdown period, since I live alone and also chose to stop attending my local church, and I can also attest to the increased demonic attacks, as well as the greater awareness of God's presence, though I'm sure not to the extent of someone who is truly alone and away from the world for years.

I'm not sure if this relates to your personal demonic attacks or the OP's, but the worst ones that hit me took the form of doubt in my election. I have read so much in the Bible about how God foreknew and chose some and rejected others based completely on His sovereign will, not any virtue or merit of their own, that I personally can't deny the doctrine. I'm not bringing this up to start a discussion about election, as I'm sure there are threads for that already. This is to describe my own personal struggle with demons. When I first accepted the reality of God the Son and his identity with the Father and the Holy Spirit, I was fully assured of His reality, His presence, of God's protection around me, totally confident in my eternal destiny and my deliverance from the evil that had surrounded my life up to that point due to ignorance and sin. But as the isolation continued, especially when I began a prayer rule instead of relatively aimless Bible reading, and began waking up many hours before sunrise to read the Bible in isolated places outdoors, primarily Psalms and the Gospels, I started to see everything written in Psalms about how wicked evildoers will be destroyed forever by the Lord as pertaining to myself. I was not able to shake the conviction that I am a condemned sinner who loves evil, hates God, and can do nothing about it because I was preordained to that destiny. This in turn breeds hateful thoughts toward God, self-condemnation, and thoughts like "forget it, I may as well give up these beliefs since I'm already damned," even though I felt like Peter must have when he said "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God." I felt crushed by my beliefs, but felt I had nowhere else to go. I was living each day just to get to the end of it, in extreme fear, dread, and psychosomatic pain while forcing myself to continue the prayer rule, early waking, and trying to force myself to perform good deeds such as concentrating properly on the easy work-from-home job I don't deserve, which became nearly impossible.

Finally I recalled verses like these and realized I still had hope:

Revelation 22:17b And let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who desires take the water of life without price.

Isaiah 55:1a Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters

John 6:37 All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never cast out.

Not that election is false, but I realized that my coming to Him in faith with full realization that I deserve hell, and asking for salvation through His blood, was evidence of my predestination to be saved. One thing I could not deny was that I was truly "coming to him" even though demons were trying to strangle my faith. And I know that whoever comes to Him, He will never cast out. So that stilled the demonic attacks for the time being, although I know they will never end until the day I die and leave this body of death behind.

This may come across as arrogant, since I'm trying to derive Christian doctrines directly from the Bible in a way that makes sense to me, instead of trusting any human authority. If I felt I had other options, I would take them. Again congratulations to those of you who have found a spiritual elder you trust and respect to lead you to the truth. I have not, which is probably evidence of my hard-heartedness and resistance to human authority, and overall way too much arrogance and pride in my own intelligence.

I'll share the particular sermon that temporarily drove away these demons. The text is Job 29:2 which I'm sure those under demonic attack as Christians can relate to:

Job 29:2 Oh that I were as in months past, as in the days when God preserved me.
 
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