I highly recommend EMDR. Only after a short 2 months of EMDR, most of my trauma had gone!
that's mentioned in the body keeps score - how did you practice it by yourself or with a threapist?
yeah it was a real eye opener for me - and same issue - abandonment - There's a lot of encouragement in the book about techniques -that's where I stumbled on EDMR which I was going to seek out before covid shut everything down. You can go to liquor stores and cannabis dispensaries but not healthy physical therapy and liquor stores.With a therapist. I tried it at home but it's nowhere as good as doing it with a good EMDR therapist!
I also bought the kindle book this week "The Body Keeps the Score," where I can't put the book down. I can understand why it's the No.1 book on Amazon with 5 stars from just under 5000 reviews. Most of my trauma (abandonment) has gone these days but after reading this book, I can see that there is still some of it around but not for long.
Surprised to see that nobody mentions Alexander Lowen's works, though he was and still is not very famous, but his work is of enormous value - maybe that is why he was never popularized by the mainstream media, despite him having been an agnostic Jewish psychologist. His main influence is Wilhelm Reich with some Freudian concepts (though he rejects some theories of Freud). Lowen focuses mainly how the body expresses the (subconscious) mind and how tense and contracted muscles reflect the suppressed emotions one has. His work is the result of decades of therapeuting patients and his observations, mixed with psychological theories, mythology and a (kind of) dualist philosophy.
The first work I recommend you to read is Betrayal of the Body. It focuses mainly on the schizoid condition and how the body maldevelops because of early childhood trauma. Your rage fits are most likely result of suppressed anger from childhood. As a couple posters before me mentioned, martial arts is a good way to release anger, though it is not a whole method of processing your suppressed emotions. Some say to not be emotional, though I say showing emotions is healthy, yet they should be appropriate to the situation and people involved. Anyways, the schizoid condition is when the head is seperated from your body, meaning your reason is disconnected from your emotions.
This is an old thread, maybe OP is already healed. If not, I hope the book gives you great insight. Though beware that this book may release many suppressed emotions and memories and could throw you into fits of rage and self-pity. If you decide to read it, don't contact close people until you finished the book. The book, Betrayal of the Body - and his other works for that matter -, are like a surgery: you cannot stop halfway and the open wound should not be exposed to an unsterile environment.
Books I recommend:
"Rage: A Step-by-Step Guide to Overcoming Explosive Anger" by Ronald T. Potter-Efron.
"Anger Management Workbook for Men: Take Control of Your Anger and Master Your Emotions" by Aaron Karmin LCPC, Nathan R Hydes PhD.
"Anger" by Thich Hanh.
I've always had bad anger issues and have now learnt to control them. Going to a Buddhist temple last year for 10 days and meditating for 12 hours a day put a huge breathing space between me and my anger. I still get angry but I'm conscious of my behaviour now. Reading the books above helped me alot and applying the exercises regularly.
My question is this, one reason I get angry is cause I don't want to appear weak. If the other person is angry at you too, how is being calm a sigh of strength? In my mind, you look weak towards other! Most the time, I don't put up with people's shit if they push me. What's the right way without becoming beta?
He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty;
And he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.
Whoever has no rule over his own spirit
Is like a city broken down, without walls.
“The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness."