In addition to everything you outlined here, it is also traumatic for the babies involved. The gestational carrier is the only mother that the baby knows, but the baby is effectively immediately ripped away from her after the birth. Your voice, your smell, the unique movement of your hips, etc. are all GONE. It is different from typical infant adoption in that adoption is making the best of a preexisting unfortunate situation (as opposed to abortion); with surrogacy, trauma is manufactured from nothing.I had once considered the possibility of being a surrogate, because pregnancy and childbirth were very easy for me. So I looked quite a bit into the details of that, focusing on the most-preferred method which is basically IVF, typically involving transfer/implantation of multiple embryos from the prospective parents (or donors they have sourced).
I learned that the gift of life gleaned from this process generally necessarily comes at the cost of an equal-or-greater life sacrifice. Multiples are routinely implanted because often only one, if any, will "stick." In the case of multiples sticking and proving viable, many are faced with the "necessity" for "pregnancy reduction" (in other words, termination of all implanted embryos above a certain number). Typically, from what I understand, many embryos are created that never end up used. Batch process is most efficient due to harvesting methods and affords best chance of at least one success for the trouble/expense. These "leftover" embryos would either be destroyed, or in some cases sold, used for research... and who even knows what else. Some people cite that they can be "saved" - but I'm not sure how long, and I suspect for most people that's just pushing back the clock rather than changing the ultimate outcome.
I can't reconcile that with my own conscience, I know that.
Disregard the feminist content, but if anyone is interested, this was a very illuminating interview with an anti-surrogacy activist who was herself a former surrogate. I'm generally pretty stoic but this made me tear up.
There are known psychological effects that come from being adopted even at birth. Add to that that donor-conceived individuals can conceivably have not two, but five "parents" (sperm donor, egg donor, surrogate, adoptive father, adoptive mother). How can a child even begin to understand that? I can't even begin to imagine how confusing and traumatic that must be for a child.