Can anyone else not be interested in a woman after seeing her with another man?

Hombre de hielo

Hombre de hielo

Robin
The situation is as follows... you meet a couple who are in love by sight (the couple appears frequently in your sight), after a while, the couple ends the relationship, later on she becomes interested in you and you cannot interested in her.

I've never been able to relate to a woman after I've seen her with another man (obviously her showing interest after the breakup).

This is unchanged since my adolescence... I would feel like her 2nd option or reserve, if I had a relationship with a woman after seeing her with another man, even if that man had met her before me!

Has anyone else gone through this?

And whoever thinks this is silly (who has already had a relationship with a woman after seeing her with another man), tell me how I could get over this and stop missing out on more opportunities...
 
I know what you mean, I think that's pretty natural. If you're seeing a woman in a relationship who is in love, it would be weird to date her after. You're seeing her being attracted to and choosing another man. No one wants to see their woman like that. I'm not really sure if there's a right answer to help with this.
 
Yes, I have felt the same way. It has been worse because in certain cases I've felt complete and utter disgust towards her that she's now into me after leaving the other guy.

I have noticed an interesting trend though. If I have no respect for the man and I see him as low quality, I feel lots of disgust. Mainly because if she is interested in me, I feel she is putting me on that level. If however, the man is of a strong character, I don't really feel it, but still avoid dating her.

That's why as a general rule, I'd rather not know about a woman's past.
 
TheosisSeeker said:
Yes, I have felt the same way. It has been worse because in certain cases I've felt complete and utter disgust towards her that she's now into me after leaving the other guy.

I have noticed an interesting trend though. If I have no respect for the man and I see him as low quality, I feel lots of disgust. Mainly because if she is interested in me, I feel she is putting me on that level. If however, the man is of a strong character, I don't really feel it, but still avoid dating her.

That's why as a general rule, I'd rather not know about a woman's past.
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I'm not talking about the female sexual past!

I'm talking about the fact that I've (personally) witnessed her with another man. Having seen her walking hand in hand in a public place, often!
 
Men are territorial with women. We have to ensure paternity. Regardless of mod science, men are still wired for this like women are wired for strong men, even though there's no direct threat. Seeing a woman with another man instinctively tells you that she's his. If that stops to be the case she's public property, why would you potentially give up your life for public property? I completely share your sentiment. Imagining giving your life to a woman who has been with another man releases something primal and fundamental at our core. A woman swapping men is a direct attack at the core of the integrity of the tribe, and by extension the civilization.
 
It's not just that. But I've just gotten so sick of dating and the games people play that I'll give a woman one chance. If she stands me up, doesn't respond if I text her, doesn't show any interest (like if she takes a long time to reply); I just delete her number and lose interest entirely. I refuse and don't see any point in continuing a relationship with somebody who has no time interest for me.

Maybe she is busy, but even a woman who has working has texted me back before within a few minutes and said "hey I'm at work" or something to let me know they were busy. As much as women are on their phones these days, I feel like if I don't get a response within a few minutes, that I'm being ignored.

I used to get mad about it, but now I'm just kind of numb to it and expect it. All I can do is move on. I've even had a few women who came back all apologetic a few days later and I just ignore them.
 
stonesfan99 said:
It's not just that. But I've just gotten so sick of dating and the games people play that I'll give a woman one chance. If she stands me up, doesn't respond if I text her, doesn't show any interest (like if she takes a long time to reply); I just delete her number and lose interest entirely. Like I just refuse and don't see any point in continuing a relationship with somebody who has no time for me. Sure, she may be busy, but even a woman who has working has texted me back before within a few minutes and said "hey I'm at work" or something to let me know they were busy. As much as people are on their phones these days, I feel like if I don't get a response within a few minutes, that I'm being ignored.
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Oh yes my friend, she knows every second what's on her phone, every notification, every message, every DM. So when she ignores you, be sure she has seen it and is doing that, ignoring, she never misses a thing. Her phone is her life, for it's her infuse of attention, her life elixir, which is on steroids now in the deregulated sexual marketplace where nihilism and hypergamy run wild. Also, indeed, modern dating is a zero sum game, where the game is that one party wins and the other loses, that's why all the games. It's poisonous and not conducive to any long term relationship obviously, but that's the intention anyway, to avoid long term secure stable continuous relationships, especially with children involved that grow up not to be strippers or criminals.
 
Viktor Zeegelaar said:
Oh yes my friend, she knows every second what's on her phone, every notification, every message, every DM. So when she ignores you, be sure she has seen it and is doing that, ignoring, she never misses a thing. Her phone is her life, for it's her infuse of attention, her life elixir, which is on steroids now in the deregulated sexual marketplace where nihilism and hypergamy run wild. Also, indeed, modern dating is a zero sum game, where the game is that one party wins and the other loses, that's why all the games. It's poisonous and not conducive to any long term relationship obviously, but that's the intention anyway, to avoid long term secure stable continuous relationships, especially with children involved that grow up not to be strippers or criminals.
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I really, really hope I am proved wrong one day. But I've basically come to understand that women just want your money, not you. Once they get what they wanted, you get tossed aside like a toy they don't want to play with anymore. I do not even understand why men date anymore when we have everything to lose and very little to gain.

I think that we all have a destiny in life, maybe mine is just to find the silver lining in being alone. I'd almost rather feel nothing than feel constant heartbreak. It's sad how we've gotten to where just knowing that you matter to someone makes me happy.
 
stonesfan99 said:
I really, really hope I am proved wrong one day. But I've basically come to understand that women just want your money, not you. Once they get what they wanted, you get tossed aside like a toy they don't want to play with anymore. I do not even understand why men date anymore when we have everything to lose and very little to gain.

I think that we all have a destiny in life, maybe mine is just to find the silver lining in being alone. I'd almost rather feel nothing than feel constant heartbreak. It's sad how we've gotten to where just knowing that you matter to someone makes me happy.
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They love opportunistically, men love idealistically. You love her for her, for who she is. She loves you for what you can provide for her, lifestyle, money, status, protection, skills, competency, confidence. Once that falls away or there's a better opportunity she's gone in a secular society. 80 percent of divorces get initiated by women.
 
stonesfan99 said:
It's not just that. But I've just gotten so sick of dating and the games people play that I'll give a woman one chance. If she stands me up, doesn't respond if I text her, doesn't show any interest (like if she takes a long time to reply); I just delete her number and lose interest entirely. I refuse and don't see any point in continuing a relationship with somebody who has no time interest for me.

Maybe she is busy, but even a woman who has working has texted me back before within a few minutes and said "hey I'm at work" or something to let me know they were busy. As much as women are on their phones these days, I feel like if I don't get a response within a few minutes, that I'm being ignored.

I used to get mad about it, but now I'm just kind of numb to it and expect it. All I can do is move on. I've even had a few women who came back all apologetic a few days later and I just ignore them.
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I take this strategy and agree with it as well, but it leaves you empty handed in the West because she has 100+ guys in her phone.

It will work in places where men are more valued or she really values you.
 
Hombre de hielo said:
The situation is as follows... you meet a couple who are in love by sight (the couple appears frequently in your sight), after a while, the couple ends the relationship, later on she becomes interested in you and you cannot interested in her.

I've never been able to relate to a woman after I've seen her with another man (obviously her showing interest after the breakup).

This is unchanged since my adolescence... I would feel like her 2nd option or reserve, if I had a relationship with a woman after seeing her with another man, even if that man had met her before me!

Has anyone else gone through this?

And whoever thinks this is silly (who has already had a relationship with a woman after seeing her with another man), tell me how I could get over this and stop missing out on more opportunities...
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I completely understand and a lot of men would feel the same way.

There is something about a woman who was prior "taken" which reduces her attractiveness in the eyes of other men and this seems hardwired in men who as one of the other users rightfully pointed out, are territorial when it comes to women.

I have had instances where a woman was with another guy then suddenly feels like talking to you, but from my perspective one should always play it cool and not give nor attach much importance to the relationship.

She is obviously talking to you to opportunistically get something out of it.

That could be anything: from resources, to using you as an emotional tampon where she can vent out.
 
If she were currently single I might be interested but in the back of my mind I'd keep comparing myself to her previous bf, which is admittedly pretty lame.

Over the years, I've had interest in certain women, but finding out they were already seeing someone just put me off at any attempts or further interest. I see this part as an upside, as I have never had an interest to be an interloper or a party to cheating.
 
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