Can you give me your Vasectomy Experiences?

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MtnMan

Kingfisher
Good Morning Guys,

My wife and I just found out she is pregnant with our second child! Very exciting. I am almost 38, and if this pregnancy goes well, this will be our last kid. Not that I am against having more, but at our age, I don't think a third is a good idea and neither does she. Having one has been a significant challenge (but worth every single bit!).

My wife has had a few different birth control methods in the past, but neither one of us like the effect they have had on her body (including one IUD that became implanted and required surgery to remove)

Normally, I steer as far away from the medical system as possible, and I do not like the idea of a vasectomy. However, for our life, we are pretty firm that we don't want to be having kids into our 40's.

I am considering this procedure, and don't know much about it.

Can anyone share your experiences and opinions?

I've got at least a year before this becomes a significant consideration.
 
M

MtnMan

Kingfisher
joost said:
This is a religious forum. Sex, only for conception. Don’t want kids? Don’t fornicate!
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I have a serious question. Are you married? Do you have children. Are the married men on this forum that have children abstaining from sex with their wife completely if they do not feel they can raise more children? Is there a difference between purposely having sex when the woman is not fertile and having a vasectomy.

I am not trying to be a pain, I honestly want to know people's opinions on these matters.
 
M

MtnMan

Kingfisher
DanielH said:
At least you practice abstinence when doing that.

For me, yes, one on the way, and yes.
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Congratulations on having one on the way, there is nothing better.

I am confused when you say "At least you practice abstinence when doing that". I don't understand how natural family planning is abstinence, I thought that suggests that you abstain only during the fertile window?
 
DanielH

DanielH

Ostrich
Moderator
Orthodox
MtnMan said:
Congratulations on having one on the way, there is nothing better.

I am confused when you say "At least you practice abstinence when doing that". I don't understand how natural family planning is abstinence, I thought that suggests that you abstain only during the fertile window?
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Better than altering your body and never abstaining at all.
 
M

MtnMan

Kingfisher
DanielH said:
Better than altering your body and never abstaining at all.
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That is probably true. Just looking forward, having my first child when 36 really challenged both of us physically and mentally. I actually think its a bad idea to have children into our 40's for many reason. Unfortunately we got a late start, but I cannot go back and change that now. I think an unintended pregnancy in my 40's (and wife in her 40's) is not a good idea.
 
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Mike Contro Rossi

Sparrow
Orthodox
MtnMan said:
How does natural family planning fit in with Orthodoxy?
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We hold the same doctrine concerning conception and sex, basically, as the Catholic Church does. Our natural family planning would be abstaining during our fast days.
Btw, I'm 53 and my youngest is my 4 year old only son..so, yeah, I'm glad to finally have someone to carry on my family name. I had him just before I turned 49 and my wife was 39 at the time.
 
M

MtnMan

Kingfisher
Mike Contro Rossi said:
We hold the same doctrine concerning conception and sex, basically, as the Catholic Church does. Our natural family planning would be abstaining during our fast days.
Btw, I'm 53 and my youngest is my 4 year old only son..so, yeah, I'm glad to finally have someone to carry on my family name. I had him just before I turned 49 and my wife was 39 at the time.
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Thank you for sharing. I am impressed that you have a 4 year old son at 53! I have been quite humbled by my first child. It is not easy to work full time, build a house, fix all the vehicles, take care of the property, cut the firewood, provide emotional support for the wife and kid etc. It has aged me 10 years over the last two years and given me a great appreciation for my parents and other parents out there.
 
Thomas More

Thomas More

Crow
Protestant
joost said:
This is a religious forum. Sex, only for conception. Don’t want kids? Don’t fornicate!
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I strongly feel that sex within marriage is not fornication, and sex within marriage is not only for conception, based on biblical principles. I was raised protestant, and I can't see that artificial contraception is counter to the Bible. I recognize that I come from a sola scriptura background, and Catholics and Orthodox place a high priority on church traditions outside of the scriptural teaching. Some of these teachings are hard for me to accept.

I can see some benefits to the command forbidding contraception in marriage, but I don't think it is a purely black and white issue. I still think that married couples should enjoy each other sexually after the wife reaches menopause or is otherwise infertile, and likewise should still do so if the husband is infertile. However, if a couple is able to have children, then I think it is good for the couple to have an active sex life, and accept the chance of having children. While I think this seems good, I can't see this as an implacable command from God, because I don't see this stated clearly in the bible. For example, childbirth is hard on women, and if a woman's health is at risk then I think it is reasonable to avoid pregnancy. I think God accepts a married couple's choice to avoid a risky pregnancy. So, I think it is better to forego contraception, but I don't think that God requires avoiding it in all cases within marriage. I have read that in the Orthodox church, a couple can ask their priest about these things, and he can grant them permission to use contraception, based on reasons like this.

As for a vasectomy, I think this is very risky for men, because women will see a clipped man as somewhat of a eunich, as was mentioned above. A clipped man has no potency, even if he is still able to have an erection. Women respond to this on a subconscious level, and lose their attraction for the man because of this. Now this is the kind of understanding that comes from the secular red pill, and maybe a Christian wife's faith will make her immune to this. I think at the very least, she would have these feelings and have to seek God for the strength to overcome these feelings by faith.

All things considered, it might be best to just use the natural family planning method of contraception.
 
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fortyfive

Kingfisher
Other Christian
I have heard, govt has the perfect solution for people planning a childless future. Just visit the nearest vaccination point.
After 3rd booster, you won't be able even to plant a flower in a pot anymore.
 
Thomas More

Thomas More

Crow
Protestant
fortyfive said:
I have heard, govt has the perfect solution for people planning a childless future. Just visit the nearest vaccination point.
After 3rd booster, you won't be able even to plant a flower in a pot anymore.
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I don't think this will be as reliable as a vasectomy or a woman having her tubes tied.
 
M

MtnMan

Kingfisher
fortyfive said:
I have heard, govt has the perfect solution for people planning a childless future. Just visit the nearest vaccination point.
After 3rd booster, you won't be able even to plant a flower in a pot anymore.
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obviously i am not planning a childless future as I already have two. I don't see how your sarcasm is helping anyone. Are you married? Do you have children? Can you give me any insight besides sarcastic commentary about fake flue vaccines?
 
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