Can you give me your Vasectomy Experiences?

rouchno1fan

Pigeon
Orthodox Inquirer
I wonder what proportion of men decide to have vasectomies autonomously, versus their wives putting pressure on them to get it done. I think the latter is more prevalent for 2 reasons, which could be consious or subconsious:

1) A desire to "punish" their husbands after for them going through childbirth
2) Wanting to "lock in" their husband to ensure they don't procreate elsewhere

I honestly don't believe that for most couples it's about contraception.
 

Bird

Pelican
but a few years on and I wouldve been happy to "accidentally" get her pregnant again. Sadly, I wont get that chance

Is there no way to reverse a vasectomy?
Is it not possible to simply reconnect the disconnected spermatic ducts?


Vasectomy-diagram-en-svg.png
 
Good responses here. I have also heard vasectomy increases chance of testicular cancer.
I’m in a similar boat. While we are open to as many children as God blesses us with, we just had our 4th a few days ago, 13 months after our 3rd. My wife was not able to breastfeed during pregnancy, so we had to formula feed her, which was tragic. Now she cannot even pick up the the 1 year old.
she needs a break from being pregnant, and we do not really have a plan from it happening. Right now my only hope is to pray for strength to abstain.

You can space births by increasing the period your wife breast-feeds your child:
For the most part, birth spacing is often enforced by methods which reduce fertility, not necessarily prevent pregnancy altogether. Notably, breast feeding greatly reduces the odds of a woman conceiving, and hunter-gatherers tend to continue it with their children for extended periods, frequently until age three and sometimes as late as age five.


In general, ovulation precedes 1st menstruation more frequently in those who do not nurse when compared to those who nurse. Breastfeeding has a demonstrable influence in inhibiting ovulation; it is not surprising that it has an inhibiting effect on fertility

Increasing the time and frequency of breastfeeding by your wife of her child actually reduces her chances of conception without any need for contraception or vasectomies or any other immoralities.
 
You can space births by increasing the period your wife breast-feeds your child:





Increasing the time and frequency of breastfeeding by your wife of her child actually reduces her chances of conception without any need for contraception or vasectomies or any other immoralities.
It’s supposed to work that way, but she has gotten pregnant 3 times while breastfeeding a child.
 
It’s supposed to work that way, but she has gotten pregnant 3 times while breastfeeding a child.

So breastfeeding up to a year or more?

How is your wife's nutrition?

Maybe this will help outside of your regular abstinence's:

Also nutrition information that may help your wife recover her breastfeeding capabilities and help sustain her breastfeeding capabilities:
 
My 2 year old daughter still breast feeds and my wife became pregnant quite easily.

Specifically is it done this way?
If you’re using LAM and want to be among the majority of women who don’t become pregnant while breastfeeding, here’s what you should do:

  1. Practice exclusive nursing. That means you should delay introducing solids and avoid supplementing with formula or anything else.
  2. Nurse on demand. Follow your baby’s lead and let them nurse when they want — at least every 4 hours during the day and every 6 hours during the night. Pumping is not an adequate substitute when using LAM.
  3. Avoid using pacifiers. Instead, let your baby satisfy their sucking needs by snuggling up and letting them breastfeed.
Keep in mind that for LAM to be effective, your period (including spotting) shouldn’t have returned and your baby has to be under 6 months old. (That’s what makes this a temporary form of birth control.)


  • For LAM to work, you need to be breastfeeding exclusively. If you supplement baby’s diet with formula or even pumped breast milk, your chances of ovulating and getting pregnant increase.
  • Ditto for solids. Once your baby hits 6 months and starts eating solids, your chances of ovulation increase. Some older researchTrusted Source shows that by introducing food slowly and reducing suckling time gradually, you may be able to push off ovulation for a little longer. However, updated research is needed.
  • Watch out when you return to work. One studyTrusted Source shows that women who returned to work and were using LAM and expressing their milk to exclusively feed their babies breast milk were more likely to get pregnant than non-working moms using LAM.
  • This may sound like a no-brainer, but it bears mentioning: When your period returns, you have a higher chance of getting pregnant. However, keep in mind that some women ovulate even before they get their first postpartum period. Others begin menstruating before they begin ovulating. No hard rules here.




And even expressing milk by hand or by pump can increase the risk of ovulation and fertility. For the LAM method to successfully work, it is important to keep the pattern as close to full breastfeeding following these pointers.

  • Nursing the baby both during day and night.
  • Breastfeeding as much as needed, upon request, and not a fixed schedule.
  • No gap in feeding longer than four hours during day and six hours at night.

 

MtnMan

Kingfisher
All of those guidelines are generally followed except the introduction of solid foods. Our kid eats quite a bit of solid food, but also nursed throughout the day, right before bed and right when she wakes.
 

Eusebius Erasmus

Pelican
Orthodox
I have a serious question. Are you married? Do you have children. Are the married men on this forum that have children abstaining from sex with their wife completely if they do not feel they can raise more children? Is there a difference between purposely having sex when the woman is not fertile and having a vasectomy.

I am not trying to be a pain, I honestly want to know people's opinions on these matters.
I’m married and have two kids.

Vasectomy is a sin. You’re spitting on God’s gifts to you, and showing God your ingratitude.

Repent, and do not do the vasectomy. God help you.
 
Why not use condoms until your wife hits menopause? Then you could at least have the option to change your mind at any time.

A more drastic option is to go vegan as women on a vegan diet tend to loose their menstruation because of malnutrition after a while.

Regardless of if you want to have more kids or not I don't understand willingly making yourself infertile. I would feel less like a man myself knowing that I'm shooting blanks because of my own willfull actions. Perhaps that's just me though.

Just the fact that you're asking this here on this forum, where we all know what the general consensus is likely to be should tell you that you are looking for an out from making a decision that you're going to regret. It's like the people who call-in to the Dave Ramsey show asking if it's a good idea to lease a 50000$ BMW when they make 35000$ a year. No it's not a good idea, they know it and they know what Dave Ramsey is going to say about it too.
 
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N°6

Hummingbird
Are there no moon phases these days or has decades of popping the Pill (note the capital P) as the bloodless sacrament of the infertility cult made women forget the waxing maiden and waning crone?
 

Pointy Elbows

Woodpecker
Orthodox
I wonder what proportion of men decide to have vasectomies autonomously, versus their wives putting pressure on them to get it done. I think the latter is more prevalent for 2 reasons, which could be consious or subconsious:

1) A desire to "punish" their husbands after for them going through childbirth
2) Wanting to "lock in" their husband to ensure they don't procreate elsewhere

I honestly don't believe that for most couples it's about contraception.
Exactly what happened to me. I screwed up, got the vasectomy under promise of "all that lovin' soon to come my way." Didn't happen. Quite the contrary. I believe my ex-wife saw me as less of a man; a man willing to neuter myself simply to have more sex with her. In hindsight, I am SURE she was very happy to know she would never share my paycheck with another baby-momma.

16 years later - we divorced. After divorce, I dated some younger women. I've since stopped this, as I know they want kids. Even if they denied it, they will change their mind when they get to the mid 30s.

I hope your marriage is better than mine was. I hope you see it for what it IS, not what you WANT it to be. You really need to ask yourself that.

Also, what if something horrible happens and your wife dies. You may want kids with your next wife. It is a fair consideration.

I shake my head at myself over this one.

If anyone has that "You played yourself, player" gif, this is a good place for it:
 
Any woman who asks you to get a vasectomy basically tries to rob you of your ability to sire children. Which means she does not want YOUR children (anymore). Which in turn would mean that relationship would instantly come to an end for me.

Other posters have brought up similar points but the above basically dumbs it down to one single consideration. Any woman that asks you to abandon your manhood is probably not worth having around. I'm really saddened by how many men fall for this trap.
 

Cavalier

Sparrow
Exactly what happened to me. I screwed up, got the vasectomy under promise of "all that lovin' soon to come my way." Didn't happen. Quite the contrary. I believe my ex-wife saw me as less of a man; a man willing to neuter myself simply to have more sex with her. In hindsight, I am SURE she was very happy to know she would never share my paycheck with another baby-momma.

16 years later - we divorced. After divorce, I dated some younger women. I've since stopped this, as I know they want kids. Even if they denied it, they will change their mind when they get to the mid 30s.

I hope your marriage is better than mine was. I hope you see it for what it IS, not what you WANT it to be. You really need to ask yourself that.

Also, what if something horrible happens and your wife dies. You may want kids with your next wife. It is a fair consideration.

I shake my head at myself over this one.

If anyone has that "You played yourself, player" gif, this is a good place for it:
The same thing happened to a friend of mine. His wife dumped him within 2 years. Funny thing is she had claimed for health reasons she shouldn’t get pregnant again. Well her new man can get her pregnant. I warned him before hand and he didn’t listen.
 

Pointy Elbows

Woodpecker
Orthodox
The same thing happened to a friend of mine. His wife dumped him within 2 years. Funny thing is she had claimed for health reasons she shouldn’t get pregnant again. Well her new man can get her pregnant. I warned him before hand and he didn’t listen.
Savage stuff.

I believe many married men almost forget about the Sexual Marketplace. Like it or not, this marketplace remains open for business - forever. Not that a wife is actively cheating (enough do), but that women have a nearly endless stream of options (many are bad or even lesser options, but they are options nonetheless). Women are keen to this. They are fine tuned to their SMP value and the options they have. Many guys wife up and turn on the cruise control. You can't do that.
 

Sam Malone

Ostrich
Gold Member
Here's my Vasectomy story.

First off, there are the drugs. You get two valium. You are supposed to pop them down your gullet about a half hour before the procedure. Apparently there was a problem with guys clutching their privates and rocking back and forth in crazy-eyed terror in the waiting room.

The doctors don’t like that. It’s bad for business. So they give you a couple downers and hope that you don’t drool too much on their five-year-old copy of Field and Stream.

Well, I’m a smallish person, so I only took one. I figured that one Valium would be plenty to get me mellow (and I would have a little party-pill locked away afterward, should I ever want it.)

Important Vasectomy Tip #1. Take both pills one hour prior to your appointment. I was sweating like a whore in church while I waited for them to call my name. The drugs didn’t kick in until after I had a hole in my sack.

The nurse led me to the operating room, and handed me a blanket. She said I could use it for “privacy” after I took off my clothes. Privacy ? What ? You’re going to shave my balls ? What exactly am I going to keep private ?

I threw the blanket on a chair with my clothes and reclined in naked glory.

When the nurse returned, she looked at me and smirked. She hefted my unit up onto my belly and covered the top..oh, 18 inches or so with the blanket “to keep everything out of the way.”

Then the doctor walked in, grabbed the razor, and got down to the business of shaving my trembling, wrinkled scrotum.

Every time the nut-doctor went to shift anything, he’d give me a warning first. “I’m going to work on the other side now.” It cracked me up. Like I’m going to suddenly say, “Hold it, doc. You shave the left side, that’s cool. But you shave over Mr. Right, and I might turn gay.”

Once he was done shaving, he uttered the words every man dreads when a he’s spread eagle, naked, in front of a stranger – “Nurse, fetch the zucchini.”

Just kidding.

He said, “This is going to sting.”

Sting is what a bee does when you step on it. Sting is how it feels to get shot with a BB gun. Sting is not the sensation of a needle boring into your scrotum. There should be another word for that sensation.

A bigger, scarier word. A word like “strazoogalachalachowie.”

But no. I got “stung.” Then the Doc cut a hole in my sack and started fishing around. My nuts wanted nothing to do with this. They retreated to the back of the room and tried hide.

Vasectomy Tip #2 – It hurts. Don’t believe the guys who tell you otherwise. When the most sensitive area of your body is opened up and prodded, it hurts. Why there is even debate on this, is beyond me.

At this time, I think I need to send a special shout out to any women who are reading this. Before you send me the “That’s nothing compared to what a woman goes through during birth / hysterectomy / gang-bang” email, let me just tell you to please shut your pie-holes. I know. Women are tougher than men and we all know it. I’m sure if you ladies had scrotums, you’d pound them with bricks and wouldn’t even flinch.

I don’t want to hear about it.

Vasectomy Tip #3- Valium is your friend.

Finally, mercifully, the valium kicked in. It was like being drunk – good drunk, riding the crest of the perfect ethyl wave. I was high. I was, in my opinion, a brilliant conversationalist. I was funny…no, I was hysterical. Shucking and jiving with the professionals attending to my crotch, I didn’t have a care in the world. A scotch and soda would be nice though. And maybe pants. Ya, pants…

I was a riot.

I was so busy laying down my drug-induced comedy routine that I barely
noticed when the doctor picked up what must have been H.R. Giger’s crochet hook and stuck it into my sack-hole.

It was funny, in a Jackass sort of way. I almost made a joke about him crocheting an afgan out of my vas deferens. But when he hooked Mr. Let’s delicate tether, and tugged it out the hole, nothing was funny. It was a baaaaaaaaaad feeling – sort of a cross between getting kicked in the ‘nads and pulling your intestines out your ass.

The doctor cut the cord. He tied the ends into elaborate knots (either Botswain’s whistle knots or jug-sling hitches, its hard to recall), and he cauterized the whole mess with an industrial-grade soldering iron. Then he repeated the process with Mr. Right’s plumbing. When the whole
thing was over, the doc crammed my wounded spaghetti back into the sack and stitched it up.

Vasectomy Tip #4 – It’s not over until you say it’s over

For what its worth, getting stitches in my bag wasn’t as bad as it sounds. It was already numb there. The bad part comes days later, when you get your stitches caught in your underwear just prior to taking a pee in a public restroom, and you nearly bite your tongue off trying not to squeal while the guy at the urinal next to you pretends like he doesn’t notice you gyrating and chewing on your tongue.

They say that the recovery period is supposed to last two to three days. It took me about a week before I stopped trying to walk AROUND my ice-covered crotch. I spent the week trying to avoid (with marginal success) anything that might move, jar, strain, jiggle, or otherwise traumatize my junk.

Some of the post ballbag-cutting activities one should steer clear of include: walking, running, driving a stick, sitting in any position that does not allow
you to keep your legs spread like a Tijuana hooker during Fleet Week, and, of course, getting punched in the junk by a two-year-old child.

Explaining to Julie that “we need to be gentle with Daddy” from a fetal position on the kitchen floor was not one of my better moments in parenting.

There were a couple longer-term effects too.
Effect #1 was the bruising.
I won’t go into details here, but let’s just say “stuff turned black.”
Effect #2 was that I carried around the low-grade got-whacked-in-the-cajones-half-an-hour-ago feeling for about a month.

But it’s over now. And I thank the gods of modern medical science that the operation did not go south like the one on my foot. I don’t know if I could have dealt with packing an infected scrotum with
sterile gauze.

Am I glad I did it ? Hell yes. They say that after the surgery, a married man can go from having sex once a month, to TWELVE TIMES a year !
 

SaintPiusX

Chicken
I strongly feel that sex within marriage is not fornication, and sex within marriage is not only for conception, based on biblical principles. I was raised protestant, and I can't see that artificial contraception is counter to the Bible. I recognize that I come from a sola scriptura background, and Catholics and Orthodox place a high priority on church traditions outside of the scriptural teaching. Some of these teachings are hard for me to accept.

I can see some benefits to the command forbidding contraception in marriage, but I don't think it is a purely black and white issue. I still think that married couples should enjoy each other sexually after the wife reaches menopause or is otherwise infertile, and likewise should still do so if the husband is infertile. However, if a couple is able to have children, then I think it is good for the couple to have an active sex life, and accept the chance of having children. While I think this seems good, I can't see this as an implacable command from God, because I don't see this stated clearly in the bible. For example, childbirth is hard on women, and if a woman's health is at risk then I think it is reasonable to avoid pregnancy. I think God accepts a married couple's choice to avoid a risky pregnancy. So, I think it is better to forego contraception, but I don't think that God requires avoiding it in all cases within marriage. I have read that in the Orthodox church, a couple can ask their priest about these things, and he can grant them permission to use contraception, based on reasons like this.
I'm Catholic, and it's pretty clear that contraception is a mortal sin. NFP is allowed in only certain circumstances. The Catholic Church's policy on contraception is the one I disagree with the most. It's not an intellectually consistent position because, as it's fairly clear in philosophical principles, the "natural" route isn't, in of itself, the moral route. It's also isn't clear that you are frustrating God's plan by bringing a child into the world. Technically, any act that doesn't leave to having children is a frustration of that purpose, so if you follow that argument to its logical conclusion, it becomes absurd to do anything but perform actions towards procreation. It's also clear that there's nothing in scripture that forbid it as a moral sin. Catholic theology often relies on the story of Onan, but a clear reading of that passage shows God killed Onan because he refused to provide his brother's wife with a child out of pride (and of his duty as a brother). Additionally, that's from the Old Testament. There's nothing clear in the New Testament about contraception. A shred reading of the history of Catholicism shows the likely reason for the Church's position of contraception was to increase the number of Catholics through birth rate. You can contrast contraception like a condom or pulling out with an abortion or drugs that function like abortions (Plan B). You can clearly see a moral difference where the latter kills the child after the egg is fertilized.

Regarding sterilization like a vasectomy, that's an awful idea. For one, it's permanent, so you are now living in a constant state of mortal sin. Second, you have purposely mutilated and neutered yourself, which will obviously have some negative impact on your ability to feel like a man. Third, it's stupid. Contraceptive methods like a condom and pulling out is sufficient not to impregnate your wife.

I still use contraception with my wife (pulling out), but despite my disagreement with the Church, I still recognize it as a mortal sin, and I confess it.
 
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