Can you give me your Vasectomy Experiences?

earam8778

 
Banned
Catholic
I just don't see how a vasectomy can be justified from a traditional Christian perspective.
It can't. There is no other way to justify this guys vasectomy other than the fact that he is being controlled by his wife. Which is also not justified by traditional christian teaching.
What I think you need to do is: man up. There's no way you would have posted on this forum without knowing what the responses were going to be.
 
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WatchingWatchmen

Pigeon
Other Christian
Alternative perspective:
would all of you who are being against vasectomy be against even if he had already 6 children, it came from his mind and his wife was neutral to the idea?
 

MartyMcFly

Ostrich
Other Christian
Not sure if this was mentioned as an alternative. Of course, it only reduces the pregnancy risk and it also means there are several days you will need to refrain from sex which will take discipline assuming you worry about how many kids you will have. I read that a couple that doesn't use any method will have a 95% chance of getting pregnant in a year (I don't believe it can be that high considering how many couples struggle to have kids at all).

According to the CDC, the failure rate is 24%. That means about 1 in 4 people who use natural family planning will get pregnant. Assuming 95% vs. 24%, this could mean the difference between having 2-3 kids vs. 9-10 for a couple that marries young and the wife is very fertile.

 

Rogerto

Pigeon
Catholic
Good Morning Guys,

My wife and I just found out she is pregnant with our second child! Very exciting. I am almost 38, and if this pregnancy goes well, this will be our last kid. Not that I am against having more, but at our age, I don't think a third is a good idea and neither does she. Having one has been a significant challenge (but worth every single bit!).

My wife has had a few different birth control methods in the past, but neither one of us like the effect they have had on her body (including one IUD that became implanted and required surgery to remove)

Normally, I steer as far away from the medical system as possible, and I do not like the idea of a vasectomy. However, for our life, we are pretty firm that we don't want to be having kids into our 40's.

I am considering this procedure, and don't know much about it.

Can anyone share your experiences and opinions?

I've got at least a year before this becomes a significant consideration.
This is a grave sin against your marriage and against God. Do not do this. I urge you to try to live a chaste life.
 

MtnMan

Kingfisher
My last child was just born, my wife and I are pushing 40, and after this last birth experience, neither of us think it is safe for us to have another child. I wish we could have more, but we got started late, and cannot change that.

For now, abstaining from sex is no issue, there are much more pressing issues with a newborn and a 2 1/2 year old.

However, for those who have stated that this is a sin, what is the solution? Abstain from sex with my wife forever? Though this doesn't seem that bad, honestly since sex is one of the last things on my mind these days. I do think the sexual bond is important.

It is a tough situation, both births had complications and could have had some disastrous consequences. I do not want a vasectomy and do not like the other options. Plus, I can't really see how using birth control is a sin but purposely trying to avoid ovulation is not. Seems like trying to beat the system to me.

I honestly wonder what other men in my situation are doing? There must be some others on this forum in a similar boat. Surely you can see my point about having more children when my wife is getting to an age where it is becoming dangerous.
 
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Jive Turkey

Kingfisher
Orthodox Catechumen
Alternative perspective:
would all of you who are being against vasectomy be against even if he had already 6 children, it came from his mind and his wife was neutral to the idea?
I would never judge a man who has a lasting marriage and six children in his decisions in the area of sexual ethics. That is not my place. If he is Orthodox he would probably consult his priest, and then it would be between the priest, husband, wife and God.
 

Pointy Elbows

Kingfisher
Orthodox
Apparently, it's the hip new way to subvert God's plan.

My urologist told me a few months ago (before the Roe v. Wade decision) that he is getting lots of requests from young men for vasectomies. Many are despondent and have the "why bring kids into this misery" idea. I encouraged him to decline them all, especially for men that don't have kids already.

For MtnMan, perhaps consider your wife having her tubes tied. It will have the desired effect, more specifically, and will not limit your ability to procreate in the event something horrible were to happen to her. Your intent is to protect her well-being, specifically, and I think that is totally reasonable and not damaging to God's will for either of you.

I say this humbly as a middle aged man that had a vasectomy after 2 kids and now regrets it. My then-wife encouraged me to have it, and it was a deception I fell for as a weak, lustful man. In hindsight, it put me on "resource lockdown" and actually hurt our sex life. If something unfortunate happens to her, or your marriage, you might want to have kids later. I've had that regret since divorcing.
 

Bird

Pelican
Catholic
My urologist told me a few months ago (before the Roe v. Wade decision) that he is getting lots of requests from young men for vasectomies. Many are despondent and have the "why bring kids into this misery" idea. I encouraged him to decline them all, especially for men that don't have kids already.

If men want to have vasectomies, they will.

If your urologist refuses to perform vasectomies, men will go to the next doctor who does, and I doubt any doctor would be happy not to earn money.
 

NoMoreTO

Hummingbird
Catholic
I have a friend who got a vasectomy, actually a few. I'm shocked at how women who are in their late 30s or even early 40s are convincing men to get vasectomies. It is against nature.

The one friend got bad testicular cancer 2 years later. Coincidence? He doesn't think so. He lost more than his getting snipped.

A theory was explained to me, that women once done with their children want their husband to also be infertile. They don't want his resources or attention ever going to another woman. If she dies, he will not be able to marry, as he can't have kids. He can't cheat and have kids with someone else. It's a little bit darwinian the theory, but it rings true to me.
 

BasilSeal

Kingfisher
Catholic
Gold Member
If your urologist refuses to perform vasectomies, men will go to the next doctor who does, and I doubt any doctor would be happy not to earn money.

A Catholic hospital / doctor would be unlikely to do so. The USCCB directs in the Ethical and Religious Directives for Catholic Health Care Services (2018):

Direct sterilization of either men or women, whether permanent or temporary, is not permitted in a Catholic health care institution. Procedures that induce sterility are permitted when their direct effect is the cure or alleviation of a present and serious pathology and a simpler treatment is not available

 

Bird

Pelican
Catholic
Are former buddy told me that is was no problem to get one (in Germany).
It took him just 2 phonecalls to find the urologist who did it.
 
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