Cat: The Most Useless Animal in the World

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Soma

Ostrich
Gold Member
Given her size she must be eating a fuckton of it.

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(Wasn't sure where to post this, threads Gross american female habits and A full quarter of American Women are mentally ill were also eminently suitable.)
 
I fucked this chick who had 2 cats. It was really hot in her flat so i asked if i could open the window. Then we fucked and when we were finished, one of the cats had jumped out of the window. We couldn't find it and the chick texted me some days later that she had found the cat dead in a bush nearby. I feel just a tiny bit guilty. :(
 

Sp5

 
Banned
If you have an old wooden house which has mice, cats are very useful. Also entertaining when they catch one and play cat-and-mouse.

To keep their reflexes sharp, you can train them by having them chase the dot from your laser pointer.
 

OGNorCal707

 
Banned
MrXY said:
Cats are alpha as fuck

I love cats, and think they are badass. I know I am biased since my Mom and Grandma are cat lovers and we always had cats as pets when I was growing up as a child.

Since I moved away from home and have been living alone I always resisted the thought of getting a pet cat, because they cost money, they are a commitment and they could interfere with my travel/lifestyle.

I have since adopted a badass female cat, but the funny thing is I didn't pick her, she picked me, so to speak. She was a cat that suddenly appeared about 6-8 months ago, and would sleep on my front porch and back deck, plus various spots in my yard.

Being cool with cats I would pet her, and every day she would return to the same spot, eventually I started giving her cat treats, but never any real food, and never let her into my house. Because she was always spending all her time on my property, she was out on the streets at all hours of the night (when I got home from partying at 3 am), it was pretty apparent that she was abandoned by her previous owners.

Even though I grew to like the little fucker, I decided not to adopt it, I left the country for 2 months in the dead of winter to go to Mexico, and when I arrived I wondered if the cat would still be there or if it would take off and find a new place to chill or disappear. When I got back the cat was still there sleeping on my porch. My buddy who was house sitting told me, "hey man, there is this cat that always comes here every day and sleeps on your porch."

When I got back I thought to myself damn, this little kitty been living outside, in the cold, and wet, in heavy rain, fending for itself, that's a bad ass little animal.

I continued to pet it and give it cat treats and every time I opened the front door, she would try to peek in and look inside. Sooner or later I started to let her in the house, but I'd toss her every time I left and wouldn't let her in at night. Then I started to let her sleep in the house at night, and now I've fully adopted her and got her a bunch of food, going to get her a litter box soon, and take her to the vet.

The point of this post, is that little animal was cutty as hell, sleeping under my deck in the winter, hunting to feed itself and survive, etc. I suspected that she might be getting fed by a neighbor, but it soon became apparent when she once threw up a half digested mouse that she was hunting for food. There are a bunch of strays in my neighborhood and they hunt at night, I've even seen one hunting a skunk on my property.

My poor cat I'm pretty sure was abandoned by these weird middle aged hippy loser types who were "visiting" this white trash hippy/redneck lady who lives across the street from me. These people were living in a tiny shitty ass old RV and had two huge dogs, and a cat, who was always sitting on the front dashboard staring out the window all day long. I felt bad for that poor cat cooped up in that RV, never going out, and be stuck in a tiny space with 2 people and 2 huge dogs. That cat I'm pretty sure is the same one that I now have, those people probably left her with the white trash lady who never took care of it, and left it to fend for itself.

Dogs are cool, I got no beef with them, they are great for protective purposes, but they seem to be completely helpless and dependent on their owners. Whereas I think cats are a bit more independent and can be left alone for longer, and can survive on their own if need be. Cats are also great because they will hunt and eat mice which can be clutch if you live in a more rural area, have issues with rodents, or have a farm or garden where rodents have been none to feed and breed.
 

Ziltoid

Pelican
I like dogs.
...And cats.
Don't really see the point of the dichotomy.

They're both fun and entertaining to have around in their own way, which is the only "use" pets really serve anyway. Dogs are better company for the outdoors and generally dragging them with when you go places, cats are better when low maintenance is a requirement.

I meet just as many retarded undisciplined dogs as I do cats with sketch personalities, so I think most of the stereotypes in that regard are unwarranted.
 

Eric The Awful

Woodpecker
Gold Member
I like cats. I'm about to lose my favorite cat in my divorce.

A trick I learned a while ago is to get female animals. If you're in a relationship or marriage, the female animal (dog/cat) will bond closer with the male in the pair. That way you ensure the animal is (more) loyal to you than to your girlfriend/wife.

My ex and I adopted a cat from a shelter in 2008. When I had to leave to work in Virginia in 2010 because the job market in NJ blew, my ex threw the cat outside. I guess my cat got mad that I left and was using the bed for a litterbox in protest.

In any case, the cat made herself really useful outside killing rodents and birds. Definitely reminds you why cats can be good to have around.

I read somewhere that being good around cats broadcasts that you know how to handle feminine energy. In any case, a cat is sort of like a girl you can either ignore, or let beg for a while before you dispense the food.
 

Roosh

Cardinal
Orthodox
I like watching cats do nothing. It's very meditative.

Furball is the cat I had through most of high school and college. We had a strong bond.

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Humping my pillow...

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I caught him licking his balls..

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Snuggling with his plush rat toy...

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le prince perdu

Woodpecker
Grown ass niggas talking about cats on the internet... On a saturday

But yeah I grew up with an orange white cat that used to bring lizard body parts
Into the house and I had to clean them
 

Eric The Awful

Woodpecker
Gold Member
Emily, the cat I have to leave behind in my divorce. The cat that is actually useful for vermin control, and comes when called (at least when I call her).
 

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Alpha Hunter Zero

Pelican
Other Christian
I had a cat for over 13 years. The smartest animal I ever laid eyes on even as a kitten. At first she would hide under the covers and I would spend hours looking for her but when I wised up she started finding other places to hide when she would surmise everyone was leaving. Other times she would hide behind doors or weasel her way into cabinet drawers to sleep in lol. Something I always found interesting was when either me or someone else in the house was arguing the cat would come over to us, hiss, and swat both parties with her paws. Other times when we got hurt in the home she would rush over and start meowing loudly while rubbing her face and body across our ankles. One thing I found pretty cool was that sometimes the cat would place her front paws inside a shoe or sneaker and just rest for a long period of time. I guess she felt that close to us. Sadly, she had to be put down because she got breast cancer.
 
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