Changes in 'Quarter Life'

[Lime]

College/university is cool but especially after the first year of a bachelors, you want to have good grades and that requires a lot of work. It makes one feel like squeezed in a straightjacket. If you work, at least you have your nights and weekends for yourself. I feel like I am doing the same thing every day, including Sundays, Saturdays, it never stops. That is what makes university a slog especially in the later years.

And I also believe that this is true:

https://boldanddetermined.com/how-to-harness-your-sexual-energy/

In other words, a lot of people on this forum have a lot of undirected sexual energy what makes it VERY DIFFICULT to concentrate on schoolwork.

 

[Dalaran1991]

Thanks to OP and lots of other contributors, all good advice.

I asked a similar question here, https://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-43942.html, a lot of people chimed in with good advice.

Those of you who are in Europe, where freelancing is much harder to do unless you have a very specific talent, please, stay in college. Unless you have your own business, college is way better than the 9-5. And with all the government aid staying in college is not costly. When you work you pay taxes to support this collapsing system.

Another problem I notice turning 25 and working a corporate gig, is a huge dive in passion. Back in college I would go dancing every night of the week and aikido training every day if I can. Both also serve as a huge hunting ground for hot girls too.

Nowadays I rarely go dancing or training anymore. I thought its because I have less time, but it's simply because I no longer see myself doing it. I don't know why. It seems there was a switch turned off that say "those things aint cool no more".

I dont know what causes this. Maybe because I go to the gym less? In contrast I have good sex much much more regularly now that I have a cute girlfriend.

Anyone feels this or its just in my head?

 

[Nascimento]

Nowadays I rarely go dancing or training anymore. I thought its because I have less time, but it's simply because I no longer see myself doing it. I don't know why. It seems there was a switch turned off that say "those things aint cool no more".

I dont know what causes this. Maybe because I go to the gym less? In contrast I have good sex much much more regularly now that I have a cute girlfriend.

Anyone feels this or its just in my head?

Back when I was 20 just 2 years ago I'd be out every weekend. More specifically, at least twice a week, every week. Bars, clubs, student nights, you name it. Even when it was -20 degrees outside.

I got into the nightlife scene big time. Made lots of friends, met insane amounts of girls. It really set up a foundation for me when it comes to game.

Just 3 years later I'm hardly motivated to go out at night. I'd rather wake up early and read a book than stay out late looking to get laid. I still go out from time to time, and I do keep my game skills sharp, but my focus has changed as my motivation is now on other areas. As opposed to just going out to socialize/get laid.

 

[PragueDude]

25 here. Moved to Europe at 23. I feel ya man. Shit has become systematic. I've written down everything I want to do/accomplish on printer paper and never look at again. It gives me a sense of control over my life which many people don't have at our age. I've been living an introverts dream doing whatever the fuck I want, to an extent. No boss, teach whatever, make average salary in my country, work at most 5 hours a day. These are positives but of course the questions is always, what's next? But once you discover this "game" you never go back and will always wonder what's next. For the time being, meditate and write to get a clear perspective.

 

[RandomGuy1]

I've written down everything I want to do/accomplish on printer paper and never look at again.

I did the exact same thing and I can't be bothered looking at it again. I wonder why is that?

 

[estraudi]

I've written down everything I want to do/accomplish on printer paper and never look at again.

I did the exact same thing and I can't be bothered looking at it again. I wonder why is that?

I've done this listing of my goals too. About 2 years ago. Never look at it and even have it pinned on a corkboard in my office. I think the reason to not look at it is because that list is a reminder of the shit that I need to get done but am procrastinating in executing. Procrastinating for 2 years.
It's a non-vocal nagging piece of paper silently reminding you to get your damn shit done and I'll be damned if I look at it again. I'll probably write up another list and do the same shit. Gives me the illusion of actually having goals and doing what I need every day to accomplish them, even if it was just writing them down.

 

[Dutch_pride]

What I've noticed (almost 30 now) is that going out doesn't interest me anymore. Playing videogames looks pointless. Not that you can't understand female psychology at 25, but now, after some LTR's I can create a link between the RP literature and my LTR experiences. And they made me a completely different person. Cynical, more observant and definitely more bitter about the gender relationship. Or is it just maturing?

Sex: you can place it in a more realistic perspective. It is what it is. Putting your penis inside of a hole of flesh that is full of bacteria and ooze. It is nothing special really, just a commodity that is sold for way to much money, time, attention and energy. In essence I mean: you start thinking with your big head instead of the smaller one.

What you will see too is friends and colleagues getting babies. One after another. And you ask yourself if you want to board the train or choose for yourself.

 

[Nascimento]

Sex: you can place it in a more realistic perspective. It is what it is. Putting your penis inside of a hole of flesh that is full of bacteria and ooze. It is nothing special really, just a commodity that is sold for way to much money, time, attention and energy. In essence I mean: you start thinking with your big head instead of the smaller one.

I wouldn't define it that bluntly personally. But you're making a good point here. Younger men like ourselves tend to overvalue and focus too strongly on sex. We're not at fault, to an extent it's due to biology.

But it's a crucial lesson to learn that sex isn't everything. And indeed, focusing on it for too long will impair your improvement in other areas.

Getting it in a new, sexy youthful girl will always be one of the finer pleasures in life. But it's better to have it come in spurts. Too much of it and you're attempting to satisfy what becomes an unquenchable desire and you're detracting your focus from other important areas.

 

[Dutch_pride]

Whatever woman you are dating. Women are always a distraction from your goals in life. No amount of relaxation-sex or backrubs can compensate their wants for your valuable time.

If you give in, she will take all your free time and some more.

 

[yellowfever]

I'm also turning 25 this year, and I would definitely stay in university for the next 5 years if money wasn't a factor. Sleeping in every day of the week (Scheduling all classes for the afternoon), so much free time to do gym, reading, partying between study, being in an environment where you are guaranteed to meet girls, months of breaks where you can travel...nothing beats the university lifestyle. Degrees aren't as expensive for Australian citizens as in the US- between 5-9 grand a year depending on what you study, and that just goes on your government debt which doesn't have to be paid off until you're earning over $53,000 a year so it's not as financially crippling and risky either. Plus we get paid benefits to be studying. Money has also never been a big motivator for me. As long as I have enough to do the things I enjoy in life, I don't need the million dollar mansion or the $100,000 sports car.

Adrenaline you are a bit older than me, but we're both in University here in Australia. Some of these things you mention, I could never do. Since first year I've been working in my field up to three days each week and between classes, and since third year I've been working in a startup which has taught me such an immense amount to the point that classes themselves are becoming a joke. I'm about to discontinue uni without finishing the degree so that I can pivot into my own startup earlier and quit wasting time.

Regarding benefits, I genuinely believe our country is too liberal with them. I believe only people that truly need welfare should accept it, for example people who are seriously sick, injured, disabled, or otherwise incapable of providing for themselves. Ideally even then a person's family would support them rather than the taxpayers if possible.

When I was younger my father worked in the public service and did a trip up to the Aboriginal housing projects to interview the residents. They got everyone in a circle and asked each person in turn how they spent their day. At first they all took it very seriously and gave stern answers about how they liked to go hunting and look after their family. But about mid way though the circle one guy was like "Actually, to tell you the truth I just sleep until midday, go fishing for a couple of hours, and then drink all evening". After that the rest of the men were a lot more candid and said the same thing.

The story stuck with me because even though on paper these guys had what many of us are after (freedom from 9-5), they didn't have to work for it and were absolutely lazy and complacent as a result. Although if the government was offering full scholarships for the children in these communities to move to the city and do a three year bachelors, then that is something I could wholeheartedly support.

I don't know your exact situation, but the chances are if you're on the forum you're more than capable of supporting yourself without government assistance. Not only that but the hustle could actually be hugely beneficial in itself, and then also give you something to roll with after graduating, or at least get a foot in the door to interview with some related company. Sure you wouldn't sleep in and maybe have less time to spend on game and gym, but at least for the sleep you could stock up on Modafinil.

 

[Phoenix]

^ Disagree. He should take every dollar they'll give him. I'd do the same. Heaven knows they'll gouge it out again tenfold when he starts working. I strongly lament not having rort the system stronger when I was in it.

Vote and campaign against it, but never turn it down.

 

[Jack Of All Trades]

I just passed my quarter life and the biggest difference I feel is that I can't live like a student anymore. It's sickening, I want my own personal space and don't want to deal with people I don't like and I have less patience for small shit and I'd rather just pay for it.

 

[Lime]

What I am looking for is to get some younger girls (18-21 or something) and perhaps prioritize this for a while before really becoming serious and going all in on career and business. I will finish my masters in a few months and can enjoy some ‘smoke curtains’ in order to make it look like I’m studying while actually I can take months off for travelling. Afterwards, I could go on a gap year or something. In total I can then ‘prioritize’ travelling and banging girls for 1,5 years or so and I can always have one year off a few years later in life. This can give me 2,5 years while my resume is pretty much covered and more years free in case I do not choose the corporate route.

Something related to getting girls while young -A way to get in the social structures of 18-20 years old girls is to sign up for a bachelors or a student organization (am already member of a fraternity and I can luckily still go there, but that goes away in a year or so as well). Signing up for a bachelors for girls sounds like a little bit much, and I know that I would only enjoy the first year of a bachelors, thereafter it becomes a slug. Serious studying requires a lot of hours spent studying. So travelling or doing a semester abroad in an academically very light way sounds like a better option if I want to be in the younger girls’ social structures.
So smoke curtains in all ways and internships and travelling sound like a great option.

What I witness in my own city (where I live since almost 7 years) is that my friends of course age together with me, and many of them are not so easily convinced anymore to come and go out with me – and currently, I’m too busy myself in many cases.

 

[tomzestatlu]

I´m 23 and just finishing my bachelor degree. I decided to do not continue for masters degree.
I have very similar feelings like you guys. The most of my friends (I have older friends than I am) are happy with having bellow-average paid job and the middle of their universe is getting smashed with litres of beer at the weekend. Actually they are probably happy with it, because they´ve grown this way and don´t want to make any sacrifices. Nowadays there´s not something wrong with it, but what will become from them in 15 years.
But I don´t settle with this. Years, which purpose was to "enjoy life" (in the meaning of young man) are over for me. I drank a really a lot of alcohol, spent too much time in pub and bars and got experiences I will never forget. No regrets, but it´s over.

I got very interesting job, which provides good opportunity for self-development (especially physical - it´s even necessary). It´s very well paid and I hope I will be able to get some interesting savings, which I would later invest into my own flat or maybe bussiness? I don´t want to settle down, so I am planning to try doing something different, when I hit 30 years.

Seems to me, that this year, I am improving my life almost everyday. The problem I met and deals with alcohol are girls. I would rather have LTR and spend weekends together doing something active. When I don´t have a girl, some inner power forces me to go out on weekend nights... anyway I know, that it´s almost impossible to find a girl worth LTR night out. It has something to do with the stuff I´ve written on the top, my thinking is different not only from today´s guys, but even from girls. And those who are around 20 years old (or same age as me), are really dumb and brainwashed.... no chance to find something useful. At least I don´t have need to always drink alcohol and can do few weeks (or even months) without single beer.