Children and Financials

[Louis IX]

If you have an average IQ or above , money is not a reason to not make kids. Just make one and enjoy the marvel. Kids do not need much money.
You can raise a kid with 100/200 Dollars a month.

Being worried about money when making a kid is not only a feminine trait , but it also shows how the West in general is scared for its own reproduction and lost in egotistic thoughts of inherited from a privileged lifestyle.

Well at least you said just have one. Everything else you said is just terrible advice. I can't believe you consider someone who's strategic and plans ahead being a feminine trait. Children cost money, there's no way around it in this current system we have set up. if you're broke, you shouldn't be having any kids.

The average American family of 4 spends about $1000 on just groceries every month. Don't believe me, look it up. So raising a kid on just $200 a month is just fantasy unless you live out in a farm somewhere away from civilization. You also got to pay someone to watch your kids, it ain't cheap. The list just goes on and on about what you got to pay for a child. You people love to talk about how things should go, but this world don't operate that way.

Also it has nothing to do about being scared to reproduce, it's just foolish to have that many kids today. It works against you unless you plan to suck the system dry living on food stamps. Please don't expect to live off that because the government can take that away with just a snap of a finger. Relying on the government to take care of you is a feminine trait. Now that I think about it, more people should be scared to have kids. These offsprings created out of recklessness are mainly the ones who have to grow up suffering.

Well pardon me if I was a bit rude or not very precise .
I am talking from experience .
One kid ; until the age of two needs :
1) a good pram . You can make a good investment on this .
2) a lot of pampers ( yes that costs ; but I don't think it costs more than yourself going out or eating out all year when single ; you just have to cut that off )

3) anti irritation creams and a few expenses in water ( regular bath ; etc )

4) a baby bed with a few toys. First price is ok

5) a lot of clothes

These 5 things you can get for not too expansive. Ideally look for relatives ; friends or second hand market. Buy clothes in bulk.
The only important expanse should be pampers .

You also need medical expenses but unless the kid has a particular conditions you will not go more than 4-5 times a year.

All the rest ; should be around 100 dollars per month. This is assuming that your wife will quit working and breastfeed.

Food gets a bit expansive but your wife may instead cook it instead of buying ready baby food .

One new toy or book per month can be found very cheap here and there . Guests can bring it .

I do not see any more necessary expanse .
The biggest expanse will be to cut your freedom and give 90% of your free time to your baby and deal with your wife s mood swings .

If you have family around to babysit then you are in a luxury position . I don't have and still I manage to raise 3 kids .

Devote your life to your kids and money will not become an issue . I am sorry but cannot believe that 1000 dollars can be spent on groceries just for one more kid. I am aware that USA is more expansive than where I live now but still ... I would be curious to have a breakdown of these 1000 dollars .

Honestly ; if it s that much of a problem financially then just warn your wife and reduce your lifestyle by 3 or 4. Rent much smaller flat ; give up on your car and walk to work ; sell your valuables etc etc ..

Now it gets more expansive when they are 10 or more . But for the first 2-3 years you do not have to worry .
My view is that having a kid must be combined with a change from the inside.if you want to keep your lifestyle but compose with the baby I think it s a wrong calculation

My apologies is any previous comment was nasty .it is not a feminine trait to plan in advance . It is good . But your comment saying that people.who can't afford shouldn't have kids is not only stupid but pretty gross. On the contrary ; kids are the last source of happiness when you don't have money .

Havent you noticed that poor countries make more kids ? Do they worry more or less than you about the money ? I think much more . Do they care less about their kids ? Probably . But as I said ; if you and your wife have no IQ deficiency ; you should be fine

Do not worry about money . Make the kid and see and adapt . If you struggle ; the kid will give you this extra energy to find what is missing .

Good luck and keep us updated.

Edit : I thought silent one was the one having kid but he is not the OP )

 

[SilentOne]

Polniy_Sostav, no hard feelings. You seem like you got a plan, so that's a start.

Like you, I already stated that the poor have far more kids then the not so poor. Its mainly because they aren't as productive in their daily lives as the ones on the richer side of the spectrum. I don't mean it in a bad way, it's just the way the world is.

 

[CDRhodes]

Family of five here. We spend about $650 on groceries per month. Admittedly, I grow a decent amount of food and always look for specials/sales and I don’t buy much processed food. We also don’t eat out often. For one it’s expensive and secondly it’s a pain in the ass when you have a lot of kids. There is no way around the fact that having a family involves some financial sacrifice, but if you’re smart about it, it doesn’t have to be an undue burden. One major sacrifice you will have to make is not having a vehicle with any semblance of cool. Government mandated child safety seats are huge. Fitting two to four of them in a vehicle requires a big vehicle. Your Jeep, Mustang, Z car, etc isn’t going to cut it any more.

 

[Sargon2112]

Unless you or your spouse is a crack head and/or are one of those folks who just can't get out of their own way, go for it. The key is picking a quality woman - which may or may not be easy, depending on where you live in the US.

Avoid debt like the plague! If you do have to take on debt, minimize it and pay it off as soon as possible. Even if your income isn't stellar, being free of debt is a game changer.

I am 43, wife is 6 years younger. We dated 6 years before getting married. Kids came after that. We have a 5yr old and a 3yr old now. The only regret is that we should have done it 10 years earlier. The extra financial stability is nice but we both agree that we should've done it sooner.

Best of luck!

 

[Dr. Howard]

I think Black Knights cost awareness of child support risk is the only caution worth considering, otherwise kids are inexpensive. Here are some ways to reduce costs:

1. Marry a wife that does not have a college degree, have her do homeschooling, childcare and cooking. The opportunity cost for having her not work is low, because her earning potential without a college degree is low anyway

2. Housing, this is not a cost related to children, this is a cost related to having a wife. Unless you are a cosmopolitan urbanite, when you get married your wife is going to want some sort of house with extra rooms anyway, having children makes use of those rooms instead of them being used for storage, scrapbooking and your mother in law.

3. Tax Credits - in the US you now reduce your tax burden by $2k/kid/year, if you want to reduce your income to the $30k/year range and have dependent children you can get so much free stuff like groceries, utilites, college, childcare, eitc, rent subsidies etc. that its like making $80k

A real life example of how inexpensive they are, are the Bates. Sure reality TV helps pay their bills now but they live local to me, and I know the tree care business they run and they definitely are not rich people by any means, yet they have 21? kids a stay at home mom and homeschooling. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eh_njlNFEls

 

[RDF]

Much appreciate the detailed thoughts guys, I'll respond to a few that jumped out.

Good thread and one that I have spent many late nights thinking about. I'm your age as well, relatively good financial situation but not rich.

1) Schooling - My answer always has been this: move to a top 3 school district in your metro area with a demographic that consists of upper class whites/Asians. The schools will pay for themselves and the house will have much better resale value than a neighborhood which is slowly being invaded by illegals, Section 8, etc. If you truly move to one of these districts, private school is questionable at best and your kids might actually go to school with lower socioeconomic classes than your local public school. I've seen parents blow 300k-1M per child on boarding schools, private colleges, day schools, etc for their kids to end up with run of the mill 60k corporate jobs. The kids would have been better off with public education and the money in a trust. Private school should be for: 1) those who cheap out and live in working class/average districts, 2) those who are rich enough to take a gamble that private education will pay off 3) children with special learning styles.

2) Housing - To live in one of these districts, after many weeks of searching, I estimate that it will take bottom end $500k for a nice 4 bedroom in wealthy Texas (Southlake/Plano West) and 800k for a nice 4 bedroom in wealthy NYC area (Darien, CT/Upper Saddle River, NJ/Lloyd Harbor, NY). So $100k-200k 20% down payment depending on where I live. Hopefully in 10-15 years from the purchase of that original home, I will be able to upgrade to a 5-7 bedrom home worth double the amount of the original.

.
.
.

-- Specific financial benchmark: $50,000 per child, set in a trust account at birth I'm a big proponent of giving kids a big head start in life. This sum will grow to $300-550k at 8-10% interest once the child is 25, which enables them to buy property/start a business/start a family without the fear of debt over their heads. Colleges: preferably state, but if not, scholarships/loans that will be paid with this sum if they choose (top 25-30 private college could be worth it).

Completely agreed on both schooling/housing, we definitely think alike in that sense haha.