Old school version of this thread is Ambrose Bierce's
Devil's Dictionary:
DEBT, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slave-driver.
JUSTICE, n. A commodity which in a more or less adulterated condition the State sells to the citizen as a reward for his allegiance, taxes and personal service.
LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
POLITICS, n. A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
PRESIDENT, n. The leading figure in a small group of men of whom — and of whom only — it is positively known that immense numbers of their countrymen did not want any of them for President.
PROPERTY, n. Any material thing, having no particular value, that may be held by A against the cupidity of B. Whatever gratifies the passion for possession in one and disappoints it in all others. The object of man's brief rapacity and long indifference.
And one or two of my own:
Inappropriate,
adj. A word used to render a topic or fact forbidden, used by those who lack the power, means, or immediate opportunity to punch your teeth in. e.g. "That's inappropriate". Also see: CENSORSHIP.
Walk of Shame,
n. Phrase given to describe a five second duration in a slut's life where, despite having emancipation and the opportunity and supposedly the belief that they can have free love and sex whenever they like without guilt, said slut feels cringing embarrassment and the sensation of being
revealed for what they are to another person. Also see: NARCISSISTIC INJURY
Narcissism: Default operating system of most of the occupants (as opposed to owners) of Western civilisation.
Baby Boomer: Member of the generation that had children and then guaranteed the right to all following generations to murder theirs in utero, as well as use up said children's inheritances.
