Completely clueless in how to attract a woman

clzoomer

Robin
Orthodox Catechumen
Does anyone have any advice on how to attract a specific woman? I tried looking into Roosh's earlier works, but they were mostly for hooking up with women in general, and I'm looking more for a long term relationship. How do I get this girl to notice and like me?
To be honest I don't have a lot going for me. I'm kind of ugly and not exceptionally funny, plus I don't see her that often (we sit nearby in two classes and that's it). I'm also pretty much socially retarded.
Does anyone have anything that can help me out? Any tricks to stand out from the crowd, make myself desirable, or get closer to a specific person without coming off as weird? For context I am a young teenage guy who's still in high school.

Not to sound too pathetic but the romantic loneliness is eating me up inside and I'm completely touch starved. I feel like this is someone I need so any help is appreciated :zipped:
 

DanielH

Ostrich
Moderator
Orthodox
I feel ya man, been there. I hate to give you an answer you don't want to hear, but in my opinion except in very rare circumstances, you shouldn't try pursuing such a relationship as a 17/18 year old man. The period from 18-22 (if you don't do college) and 18-25 or so (if you do) will be spent gaining skills, assets, character, and a relationship with God. Right now, you probably are short in a few of those areas, and that's fine, I was probably worse at that age, but we need to have self knowledge about these things.

The hormones at 18 are devastating. Much of what you need to know about women is stated in the 9th chapter of the Wisdom of Sirach:
5 Don't stare at a young woman, since you might incur punishment for her. since you might lose your inheritance.

6 Don't give yourself to prostitutes,

7 Don't look around in the city streets, and don't wander in its deserted areas.

8 Turn your eye away from a shapely woman, and don't stare at beauty belonging to someone else. Many have gone astray because of a woman's beauty, and out of it affection flames up like a fire.

9 Don't ever sit with a married woman, and don't share meals or indulge in wine with her, since your soul might be attracted to her and you might slip into destruction because of your passion.

10 Don't abandon old friends, because newer ones are not their equals. New friends are like new wine; when wine ages, you will drink it with good cheer.

Don't even look at them. It was a mistake to have co-ed education in the first place.

At your age you are just too likely to end up in fornication. The awkwardness is normal, that will go away as you get confident in skills of your choice and as you get more involved with Church. Honestly don't even think about a relationship until you are at least a catechumen and preferably baptized. Also don't worry about your ugliness. First off, women don't really care as much about looks, second, you can change your physiognomy, and thirdly, your ugliness might be a blessing to keep you out of trouble.
 

Helmsman

Robin
Protestant
Read the Bible, then read The Rational Male through a Christian lens. Accept Christ, take the red pill, and then lift. Get your bench to 225, squat to 315 and OHP to 135. Deadlift some heavy weight too. Starting Strength is your friend on this journey. Then find a dangerous job (that you TRULY love) that forces you to live in the moment like a lineman, firefighter, or sawyer. Master these things and the rest will follow. Took me 6 years.

Christ, muscles, and drive.
 

andy dufresne

Pelican
Other Christian
Be true to yourself. Keep yourself healthy and fit. Walk tall and erect. Talk to everybody. Don't drink or play video games. Go to church. Smile a lot. Be kind. Make tons of male friends. Don't do online dating. Don't look at any form of pornography. Volunteer. Pray to God for guidance and humility. Tell silly jokes. Don't be boring. Do something no one else is doing. Dress cleanly and sharply but not to fancy. Don't eat sugar.

If you really want quality you need to be quality. Good luck.

Edit. You have one-itis for this girl...it's not healthy at your age.
 

Solitarius

Robin
Catholic
Find a way to get yourself money, lots & lots of money. And always remember; when the money runs out so will her "love" most likely. I know young fellows tend to look at the "fairer sex" through rose-tinted spectacles, but the sad & inescapable reality is that most of them are cold-blooded & calculating to a degree that would boggle the minds of the men who would be their suitors. Their prettiness, smiles, laughter & so on are all skilfully used in the service of gain. If you're handsome & rich you'll be led to believe that they're the sweetest creatures in existence; if however this is not the case you'll see their true colours, which are to say the least quite often rather unpleasant. All through life you'll have various things presented to you that seem to promise sure & continuing happiness, but you'll find upon obtaining them that they fall short of your expectations. If only I could marry this woman, if only I could get this house or such & such an amount of money, then I'd finally be satisfied, but it'll never prove to be true. This is because man can only attain perfect & immutable happiness in the next world with He Who is The Greatest & Highest Good in Whom all other goods are contained. Here's something from the Holy Scriptures, specifically Ecclesiasticus 25:26-34 to consider: "
All malice is short to the malice of a woman, let the lot of sinners fall upon her. [27] As the climbing of a sandy way is to the feet of the aged, so is a wife full of tongue to a quiet man. [28] Look not upon a woman's beauty, and desire not a woman for beauty. [29] A woman's anger, and impudence, and confusion is great. [30] A woman, if she have superiority, is contrary to her husband.


[31] A wicked woman abateth the courage, and maketh a heavy countenance, and a wounded heart. [32] Feeble hands, and disjointed knees, a woman that doth not make her husband happy. [33] From the woman came the beginning of sin, and by her we all die. [34]"
 

Stadtaffe

Kingfisher
Orthodox
Gold Member
Does anyone have any advice on how to attract a specific woman?
Best of luck with it. I read your whole post but only point I really want to comment on is don't fixate on one "specific" woman as someone else also said. It's a numbers game, like a sales funnel. If you are talking to say five women you will have a much better chance that something happy will come your way than by focussing on just one. It's just the nature of it.
Find a way to get yourself money, lots & lots of money.
I very rarely have a go at other forum members but strongly disagree with this advice. Money is the root of all wealth, but a woman's attention should come for free. Ok, you can pay for dinner or drinks, and this might be good advice for a man exiting his youth, ie early forties (like me) but how is "lots & lots of money" going to help a teenager in this situation.

Anyway, probably best if you are aiming at one specific woman to find at least a second one to talk to and pursue will even up your chances with the first one. In any case, don't stress it too much at that age, work on it but if it is not working out don't beat yourself up about it. It's important but does not have to happen overnight.
 

SaintPiusX

Robin
Trad Catholic
I feel ya man, been there. I hate to give you an answer you don't want to hear, but in my opinion except in very rare circumstances, you shouldn't try pursuing such a relationship as a 17/18 year old man. The period from 18-22 (if you don't do college) and 18-25 or so (if you do) will be spent gaining skills, assets, character, and a relationship with God. Right now, you probably are short in a few of those areas, and that's fine, I was probably worse at that age, but we need to have self knowledge about these things.

The hormones at 18 are devastating. Much of what you need to know about women is stated in the 9th chapter of the Wisdom of Sirach:


Don't even look at them. It was a mistake to have co-ed education in the first place.

At your age you are just too likely to end up in fornication. The awkwardness is normal, that will go away as you get confident in skills of your choice and as you get more involved with Church. Honestly don't even think about a relationship until you are at least a catechumen and preferably baptized. Also don't worry about your ugliness. First off, women don't really care as much about looks, second, you can change your physiognomy, and thirdly, your ugliness might be a blessing to keep you out of trouble.
This is the perfect advice, but because you are a young man, I doubt you will listen to it.
 

Solitarius

Robin
Catholic
Best of luck with it. I read your whole post but only point I really want to comment on is don't fixate on one "specific" woman as someone else also said. It's a numbers game, like a sales funnel. If you are talking to say five women you will have a much better chance that something happy will come your way than by focussing on just one. It's just the nature of it.

I very rarely have a go at other forum members but strongly disagree with this advice. Money is the root of all wealth, but a woman's attention should come for free. Ok, you can pay for dinner or drinks, and this might be good advice for a man exiting his youth, ie early forties (like me) but how is "lots & lots of money" going to help a teenager in this situation.

Anyway, probably best if you are aiming at one specific woman to find at least a second one to talk to and pursue will even up your chances with the first one. In any case, don't stress it too much at that age, work on it but if it is not working out don't beat yourself up about it. It's important but does not have to happen overnight.
Well, I see your point; in an ideal world their attention ought indeed to be free. That being said, they tend to bestow it on one who can afford baubles, a big house & so forth. Seeing that this will probably prove rather difficult for a student, a way to make up for it to some extent would be to become preeminent among the school's ball-players. That & having lots of friends & making sure to put in an appearance at any & all social functions pertaining to the school would likely help quite a bit. The fact that most of them aren't really friends won't matter as the female mind generally values quantity over quality, the material over the spiritual. This is why most of them would prefer to marry an absolute scoundrel who is a millionaire rather than a man of the poorer sort who is a saint. The friends & socializing appeal to their gregariousness which they carry to the point of absurdity. They don't generally care for peace & quiet or solitude, they instead prefer constant turbulence, noise, & often enough outright chaos. A man who is a loner or has few friends is usually considered suspect, especially if he's taciturn, not a good talker. I've often watched my father & uncle's goats go from one pasture to another; there is sometimes one or two among them which fail to notice the departure of the rest of the herd. The stragglers, upon perceiving this always begin bleating with great alarm & commence running at full speed to catch up with the rest, this is exactly like your average woman ha ha.
 

Jive Turkey

Kingfisher
Orthodox Catechumen
Well, I see your point; in an ideal world their attention ought indeed to be free. That being said, they tend to bestow it on one who can afford baubles, a big house & so forth. Seeing that this will probably prove rather difficult for a student, a way to make up for it to some extent would be to become preeminent among the school's ball-players. That & having lots of friends & making sure to put in an appearance at any & all social functions pertaining to the school would likely help quite a bit. The fact that most of them aren't really friends won't matter as the female mind generally values quantity over quality, the material over the spiritual. This is why most of them would prefer to marry an absolute scoundrel who is a millionaire rather than a man of the poorer sort who is a saint. The friends & socializing appeal to their gregariousness which they carry to the point of absurdity. They don't generally care for peace & quiet or solitude, they instead prefer constant turbulence, noise, & often enough outright chaos. A man who is a loner or has few friends is usually considered suspect, especially if he's taciturn, not a good talker. I've often watched my father & uncle's goats go from one pasture to another; there is sometimes one or two among them which fail to notice the departure of the rest of the herd. The stragglers, upon perceiving this always begin bleating with great alarm & commence running at full speed to catch up with the rest, this is exactly like your average woman ha ha.
Dude stop blackpilling the kid. It's not that bad

You're spilling half truths and gonna make him suicidal before he has ever held hands with a girl, bringing with him all the second hand baggage and trauma of reading the manosphere. How is this any different from feminist mothers teaching their daughters all men are rapists?
 

Solitarius

Robin
Catholic
Now, now I don't think it's so bad as that. Forewarned is forearmed as they say. Explaining the importance of using the right mixture of gases & the dangers of nitrogen narcosis to a man who wants to go deep sea diving is not done to stop him from doing so if that's what he really wants to do; it's meant to help him not accidentally kill himself. Likewise, knowing that truly good persons of either sex constitute a small minority of the human race is advantageous.
 

magaman

Kingfisher
Orthodox Inquirer
Does anyone have any advice on how to attract a specific woman? I tried looking into Roosh's earlier works, but they were mostly for hooking up with women in general, and I'm looking more for a long term relationship. How do I get this girl to notice and like me?
To be honest I don't have a lot going for me. I'm kind of ugly and not exceptionally funny, plus I don't see her that often (we sit nearby in two classes and that's it). I'm also pretty much socially retarded.
Does anyone have anything that can help me out? Any tricks to stand out from the crowd, make myself desirable, or get closer to a specific person without coming off as weird? For context I am a young teenage guy who's still in high school.

Not to sound too pathetic but the romantic loneliness is eating me up inside and I'm completely touch starved. I feel like this is someone I need so any help is appreciated :zipped:
Have you introduced yourself to her? There are ways that can happen without it being so formal, like maybe something funny happens and you two make a joke about it and a conversation flows from there. Ideally the first few conversations/interactions go well then you can get her social medias and get a better idea on whether she would be a good fit for you or not. Does she go to church? What kind of friends does she have? Has she had many "boyfriends"? Is she responsive to you on social media? If she likes you, you will know. Trust me. To be honest though, if you're 17/18 years old, you're at that weird age where younger girls than you are generally still not ready for long term relationships. Girls your age generally are into guys that are a few years older at least and older women won't dare to take a chance on you, although some might want to fornicate with you. Avoid those.

Another point that someone had on here, is don't have one-itis for girls in high school. I had a couple of those myself and they turned out to be the worst experiences. One was cold and grew up to be a leftist and the other knew I liked her and didn't seem to mind at first but when she turned me down and saw me talking to her friend (who liked me at first), she turned her whole group (and others) against me and the little of high school I had left was not a good time.

Right now, find a good Orthodox church to go to and establish yourself there. Get a job, preferably through a temp agency, doing some construction/labor or warehouse jobs. It'll be hard work but if you find that you like it and you like the company and people you work with, there may be opportunity to learn more skills and move up or maybe it'll turn out that those aren't the fields for you and you can explore other options. That's at least where I would start, though. Be active in the church and your job. Show initiative to grow and don't call in sick if you're not really sick. Lol.

Finally, don't worry about finding a wife right now. Hardly anyone marries the girl they met in high school and the ones that do either get divorced later on after a few years, have an unhappy marriage or the marriage works out because it was arranged and held together by both families, church, etc. Once you've experienced the real world for about 5 years, you'll have a completely different perspective than now. Plus, you'll notice that the girls that are your age now will start noticing you because now YOU'RE the older guy that has money, a job, a car, etc. Focus on finding a wife though when that time comes, not a "girlfriend" who will get bored and leave you in 6 months-1 year.
 

Lawrence87

Kingfisher
Orthodox
Not to sound too pathetic but the romantic loneliness is eating me up inside and I'm completely touch starved. I feel like this is someone I need so any help is appreciated
Try not to let this consume you because girls can smell it a mile off and it's not attractive.

Girls want a guy who is interesting and appealing in and of himself. Not someone who is giving off a "please someone touch me" vibe.

So make sure you are pursuing things that have value to you irrespective of women. Not only will having fulfilling pursuits make you more interesting to a potential partner, they'll put you in situations where you might meet someone with similar interests.

But you also can't fake being an independent, interesting man through thinking "this is what I need to do to attract a woman".

You gotta just let go of making women the centre of your existence and focus on God and yourself. That way when God brings someone into your life you'll have appeal to them because you're self confident enough not to revolve your life around their approval and you can take or leave them.

For want of any other word being desperate is synonymous with being unattractive. Yes it would be nice to have female attention but it's not the be all and end all of existing. Focus on God and yourself and leave it in His hands
 

newcomer

Robin
Orthodox Inquirer
It was said in the different thread and it was also repeated here; dont think about women much when you are still inquiring/ catechumen, get the taste of the true spiritual life first.
I was feeling lonely last few months, but after thinking about it I dont anymore.

Avoid sin like a plague and fight your passions with ferocity. God will bless you with a good wife if you need it for your salvation.
 

Viktor Zeegelaar

Crow
Orthodox Inquirer
Does anyone have any advice on how to attract a specific woman? I tried looking into Roosh's earlier works, but they were mostly for hooking up with women in general, and I'm looking more for a long term relationship. How do I get this girl to notice and like me?
To be honest I don't have a lot going for me. I'm kind of ugly and not exceptionally funny,
plus I don't see her that often (we sit nearby in two classes and that's it). I'm also pretty much socially retarded.
Does anyone have anything that can help me out? Any tricks to stand out from the crowd, make myself desirable, or get closer to a specific person without coming off as weird? For context I am a young teenage guy who's still in high school.

Not to sound too pathetic but the romantic loneliness is eating me up inside and I'm completely touch starved. I feel like this is someone I need so any help is appreciated :zipped:
I'm going to take a bit of an alternative approach here, with my secular red pill knowledge of male/female relationships intertwined.

First of all, I got the impression that you might be trolling saying you're socially retarded and so on, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. When you're your age there's no value you can offer a woman. A men's value to a woman primarily is derived from his character/success/masculinity, for a woman this is beauty/fertility/desirable behavior/chastity. So, what I'd advice you strongly is go and build your value, don't worry about the one (called ''oneites'' in old school game spheres, which is a Disney fairy tale delusion, your approach towards love/women should be more duty/responsibility driven, not too much the romantic fairy tale nonsense the West has fed you). If you're touch starved and you need someone, understand that needing something decreases value completely, there's nothing less attractive then someone needing something. Think about it, when someone comes up to you on the street and just wants to take something from you without offering something, you're likely to run away as fast as possible. Think of what you can give, not what you can take, and probably at this time in your life you just can't give that much.

So it's time to study and do things in the real world my man. Study this forum, the works that are mentioned, the links and websites that are provided, start to understand people who do what you want to do on a high level so you'll have good rolemodels and frameworks. Go to the gym, learn learn learn, study the Bible, grow in your spiritual life, build a social network, come into your masculinity by becoming a strong man who can take adversity, lead a woman, family and community, has boundaries, takes care of problems, is not a whiney crybaby, has rules and enforces them towards a woman/others around him, is respected by others. Then the women will become interested in you as a byproduct and you'll be able to find a good wife and choose, come from a position of abundance instead of scarcity like you do now, where you're thirsting for a drop of water in the desert. I had to learn all these lessons the hard way, and mostly through intense studying, so I wouldn't say I personally am the best example (I live single and never have been in a serious relationship), but I understand the underlaying frameworks of how all of this works very well. To study I'd recommend watching a couple of Fresh and Fit podcasts, I know this is a secular source but for your overall understanding of how male/female polarity is maximized (also with negative consequences obviously) in a liberalized sexual marketplace without marriage, monogamy and structure, this is a very insightful source. Also watch some stuff of Rollo Tomassi, The rational male, same idea: understanding the realities of male/female dynamics. Then you've got to take this and incorporate that in a Christian framework, a good source is Church of the Eternal logos, who has great streams on masculinity (e.g. Christian masculinity, check youtube). I also started a thread called Christian masculinity in the Orthodox subforum so check that out.

What I gather is that you, like many of us including myself growing up in the West are a very humble dude, who needs a bit of understanding of how the world really works, a kick in the back so to speak, and then developing yourself in a man who would even be qualified to be the leader of a woman/family. That doesn't just happen, men have got to work for it, especially if they didn't had that masculine, traditional rolemodel. The past days where everything was set up for you in a healthy, traditional society have long gone, so the earlier you wake up to this reality and that you've got to put effort in the better, and the more problems it'll avoid along the line, because without a solid understanding of this stuff you may very well be wrecked in marriage down the line. Good luck!
 

The Beast1

Peacock
Orthodox Inquirer
Gold Member
Does anyone have any advice on how to attract a specific woman? I tried looking into Roosh's earlier works, but they were mostly for hooking up with women in general, and I'm looking more for a long term relationship. How do I get this girl to notice and like me?
To be honest I don't have a lot going for me. I'm kind of ugly and not exceptionally funny, plus I don't see her that often (we sit nearby in two classes and that's it). I'm also pretty much socially retarded.
Does anyone have anything that can help me out? Any tricks to stand out from the crowd, make myself desirable, or get closer to a specific person without coming off as weird? For context I am a young teenage guy who's still in high school.

Not to sound too pathetic but the romantic loneliness is eating me up inside and I'm completely touch starved. I feel like this is someone I need so any help is appreciated :zipped:
Honest question, have you ever had a platonic friendship with any girls? No sexual or romantic interest at all?

I found myself hanging out with a lot of girls over the years. No idea why but we were cool. It wasn't singing or orbiting but just people I enjoyed shared activities with. Typically when I was really into something and not looking for a relationship a girl in those circles would take a fancy and then I would take it from there.

Anytime I wanted a girlfriend, then girls would run away or sense my desperation.

i would first work on eliminating the need for a partner. That creates unhealthy expectations and sometimes you bring vamparic people in your life with feelings like that.
 
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