I understand what you're going for. A company actually makes money, has assets and good ones pays dividends.
Let's use Netflix as an example. It crashed and you ended losing money if you bought recently but you know the company will not go to zero. Also the company rose too fast (was it sustainable?).
Crypto is a Ponzi. They're always looking for a greater fool to buy their bags.
Let's say your son 500x his money in a year. Do you think it's sustainable?
Look at the attached picture and hopefully you'll understand what I'm talking about. The demon obviously has the edge but many can't see it.
I also bought Bitcoin for the first time for less than $5. I have an account in LocalBitcoins from beginning of 2012 to prove it. How many times I multiplied my "investment"? I could brag how much of a genius i am but it was just a case of survival bias. Many invested in something different (and many lost money).
The stock market is riddled with many problems you haven't mentioned that crypto doesn't have. Stocks can be inflated. Governments can intervene and break a company. A CEO can break a company. Earnings can be faked. Company can be sued. Shareholders and dividends can stagnate a company. Too many attack vectors to list here. It takes decades, not months or years to see serious stock returns unless you use leverage.
Cryptos are not companies so I'm not sure why I keep seeing them compared. They would be more like a collectable like art that rich people value and want to have to preserve their wealth. Or maybe you can compare them to money. Comparing them with businesses seem like a bad approximation.
If crypto is a ponzi it's the longest running non-government ponzi I guess.
Regarding buying BTC at $5:
"It's not whether you're right or wrong, but how much money you make when you're right and how much you lose when you're wrong."
- George Soros
You call ETH a scam but the people that bought into it made more money than BTC people. BTC returns are clearly diminishing with time and while a 3.5x from previous ATH is good it isn't enough for zoomers or millenials to keep up with the boomer stardard of living. Even if you invested at 5k you only made 13x which sounds incredible but zoomers and millenials need a 100x become wealthy, that's how dystopian current year is. I know the monetary system of bitcoin is good, I'm simply explaining why people keep diving head first into altcoins despite the risks.