Dating coach claims that women go crazy at 26, and are only wifeable after quarter life crisis

Excellent post, there will never be perfection, just a different set of problems.

I think overall, your best bet for marriage is marrying a woman that understands what marriage is and that the man understands as well.

For young people getting married (say both under 25) that understanding will come from their parents and/or church. If a marriage occurs when the man is say, over 30, that message should come from the man and from the woman's parents.

What is that message? I think its actually different for two young people of similar age than it is for one with a large age gap.

For young people: Marriage means that the two of you are doing life together, all of it. You will learn how to do it together, all of the good and the bad. You offend God to do otherwise, as you are in a covenant with him as well as each other.

If I look back at my young marriage, and that of others that failed a lot of the problem is being more committed to your friends than your spouse. Social media/messaging platforms only make this worse. The wife goes through her crises and personal development challenges with her friends through facebook messenger and the man goes through his with the guys over beers and maybe even 'girl' friends. This is wrong. The advantage that young people have that older spouses don't is that they can build a shared history together, they are relatively blank slates whereas older spouses have baggage. Young spouses should hit 25 with a lot of 'remember when' events together, good or bad, that made their bond together stronger. If a wife's 'remember when' stories are all from girl's nights out, and not with her husband, or the husband's are all from hanging out with other people there is a problem.

For older people: I think the marriage should be between a woman 25-26, and a man older than her by at least 10 years. The message for them should be. The man has walked the road you see in front of you, he is more wise than you and is there to guide and protect you, the woman is there to learn and help the man. I think for these older people, the woman's biggest challenge is learning to submit and the man's is learning to be patient and loving with a woman who will seem juvenile
I am a lot older than my wife, who is 31 and what you said makes sense (For older people). My wife has never been juvenile though, but she is a lot younger.
 
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