Daycares

Eusebius Erasmus

Pelican
Orthodox
Why do people put their children into these torture factories?

A toddler needs his parents -- especially his mother -- and any social interaction should be done in the vicinity of family.

A number of studies show worse outcomes for children who attend daycare:



Women should take care of their own children. If they're unable to, then close, blood-related family members can.

Women's 'liberation' into the working world has been deleterious for civilization.

EDIT. See the following summary of the research, which shows clearly that daycares are bad:

 
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Eusebius Erasmus

Pelican
Orthodox
Exactly. So women can focus on their careers. Although some arrange themselves to have Men stay home to take care of the kids as far as I have seen.

The most successful ones would often run a home business.
Women should only work outside the home if they absolutely have to to prevent poverty, or if their husband is unreliable.

Having a successful home business is fine, provided it doesn’t interfere in a woman’s domestic duties.
 
Women should only work outside the home if they absolutely have to to prevent poverty, or if their husband is unreliable.

Having a successful home business is fine, provided it doesn’t interfere in a woman’s domestic duties.
Agreed. What I am talking about is what I observed. Since so far the few examples I know didn't have the marriage fall apart under the arrangement I discussed.

Nonetheless in God's view suboptimal and not to be done.
 

gent

Pigeon
Any married guys in here have any advice for convincing my wife to stay home? She's currently pregnant and is planning to stay home for 6 months, but then she thinks she needs to go back to work and wants to get a nanny. I would much rather her stay home at least until the kids are in school and I know part of her wants to. She's not totally pozzed but she has a lot of feminist influence (as most of us do) and thinks she needs to maintain her career. She's from a former communist country where women working was the norm. I make enough money to support the two of us but she feels uncomfortable being dependent on me.
 

Eusebius Erasmus

Pelican
Orthodox
Any married guys in here have any advice for convincing my wife to stay home? She's currently pregnant and is planning to stay home for 6 months, but then she thinks she needs to go back to work and wants to get a nanny. I would much rather her stay home at least until the kids are in school and I know part of her wants to. She's not totally pozzed but she has a lot of feminist influence (as most of us do) and thinks she needs to maintain her career. She's from a former communist country where women working was the norm. I make enough money to support the two of us but she feels uncomfortable being dependent on me.
This is something you should have discussed prior to having children, but at this point, just sit down with her and make it clear that you’d like her to stay at home until the child is at least of school age.

That being said, you may also need to homeschool the kid, if you want to raise your child in a Christian manner, so she might need to stay at home longer.

Her not wanting to be ‘dependent’ on you is feminist foolishness: I’m dependent on my wife to make our home livable and pleasant, and she’s dependent on me to make money and protect the family.

Marriage is an interdependent commitment.
 
Any married guys in here have any advice for convincing my wife to stay home? She's currently pregnant and is planning to stay home for 6 months, but then she thinks she needs to go back to work and wants to get a nanny. I would much rather her stay home at least until the kids are in school and I know part of her wants to. She's not totally pozzed but she has a lot of feminist influence (as most of us do) and thinks she needs to maintain her career. She's from a former communist country where women working was the norm. I make enough money to support the two of us but she feels uncomfortable being dependent on me.
You could do a cost benefit analysis. Daycare isn’t cheap. When you figure in the cost of the service plus fuel and vehicle maintenance for the trip, field trip fees, medical costs for when they bring home God knows what germs from there, it can get really steep. Unless your wife has a really high paying professional career, the household won’t lose much at all if she stays home.
 
Any married guys in here have any advice for convincing my wife to stay home? She's currently pregnant and is planning to stay home for 6 months, but then she thinks she needs to go back to work and wants to get a nanny. I would much rather her stay home at least until the kids are in school and I know part of her wants to. She's not totally pozzed but she has a lot of feminist influence (as most of us do) and thinks she needs to maintain her career. She's from a former communist country where women working was the norm. I make enough money to support the two of us but she feels uncomfortable being dependent on me.

Since she already has the desire it won't be hard to push her in that direction. Once the baby arrives she may take any excuse you give her to stay at home permanently. The attachment is often that strong.

Make everything about her and the baby. Also encourage her healthy interactions with positive talk about how beautiful it is to see them together and about their unbreakable bond. (How cheesy you make that talk is up to you and depends on your relationship). Build up her desire in the moment then give her the escape hatch to bail on her job because everything, and I mean everything, is copasetic in your life. Make it easy for her to follow her natural (and newly overwhelming) desire.
 

Joe316

Robin
Any married guys in here have any advice for convincing my wife to stay home? She's currently pregnant and is planning to stay home for 6 months, but then she thinks she needs to go back to work and wants to get a nanny.

Give a away a child of only 6 months? That's cruel.

I make enough money to support the two of us but she feels uncomfortable being dependent on me.

That's a huge red flag, means her "Yes!" to you was a "Yes, but..."

She's from a former communist country

I hope you have a Plan B ready, because her pregnancy might just be the means to an end.

This is something you should have discussed prior to having children

This is something to be discussed before engagement, something you can actually clear up on the first few dates and move on.
 

mjbravo

Pigeon
Any married guys in here have any advice for convincing my wife to stay home? She's currently pregnant and is planning to stay home for 6 months, but then she thinks she needs to go back to work and wants to get a nanny. I would much rather her stay home at least until the kids are in school and I know part of her wants to. She's not totally pozzed but she has a lot of feminist influence (as most of us do) and thinks she needs to maintain her career. She's from a former communist country where women working was the norm. I make enough money to support the two of us but she feels uncomfortable being dependent on me.
Much harder to do after the fact (marriage), but that child has a birthright to a mother who will take care of them until they are capable of going out on their own.

I’m not sure what your faith situation is, but given where you guys are with feminist infiltration I suspect it may also be hard for her to be swayed by you alone. Not that you shouldn’t try in a peaceful yet strong and loving way. She isn’t allowing you to fulfill your calling by fully providing for the family and she is planning on largely abandoning hers.

Your best bet may be to find a church home where she can interact with other wives who can also help red pill her. The seed of feminism is so deep, that’s still not an easy task, but I’d recommend finding a very traditional orthodox Church. I’d advocate a Latin Mass, but I realize that may be a bigger step than capable right now.

You are the head of the household, and if she struggles with listening to your loving desires for the best of your family, turn it on her to how it makes sense that she’ll listen to some random boss man/woman (to help some bottom line of a business that pales in comparison to the impact of motherhood) but yet not listen to her God ordained husband who actually loves her and cares for her soul.
 

FactusIRX

Kingfisher
Any married guys in here have any advice for convincing my wife to stay home? She's currently pregnant and is planning to stay home for 6 months, but then she thinks she needs to go back to work and wants to get a nanny. I would much rather her stay home at least until the kids are in school and I know part of her wants to. She's not totally pozzed but she has a lot of feminist influence (as most of us do) and thinks she needs to maintain her career. She's from a former communist country where women working was the norm. I make enough money to support the two of us but she feels uncomfortable being dependent on me.
How's her Faith?
 

gent

Pigeon
This is something you should have discussed prior to having children, but at this point, just sit down with her and make it clear that you’d like her to stay at home until the child is at least of school age.

That being said, you may also need to homeschool the kid, if you want to raise your child in a Christian manner, so she might need to stay at home longer.

Her not wanting to be ‘dependent’ on you is feminist foolishness: I’m dependent on my wife to make our home livable and pleasant, and she’s dependent on me to make money and protect the family.

Marriage is an interdependent commitment.
I agree but I didn't know as much as I do now when we got married. We both make pretty good money so the extra material wealth was admittedly a temptation for me to not say anything. Now that I have faith I see clearly how foolish that is.

Make everything about her and the baby. Also encourage her healthy interactions with positive talk about how beautiful it is to see them together and about their unbreakable bond. (How cheesy you make that talk is up to you and depends on your relationship). Build up her desire in the moment then give her the escape hatch to bail on her job because everything, and I mean everything, is copasetic in your life. Make it easy for her to follow her natural (and newly overwhelming) desire.
This is great advice and what I have been trying to do. She confessed to me that she thinks less of moms who "just" stay at home. She is basing her self-esteem on the standards of a man who needs to make money for his family.

I hope you have a Plan B ready, because her pregnancy might just be the means to an end.
I know you mean well but this is needlessly pessimistic. In any case Jesus Christ will always be my Plan A and I'm not worried about this.

Give a away a child of only 6 months? That's cruel.
Unfortunately that's the norm in the modern West. I know most women think they have to go back to work after only 2 or 3 months! I talked with her again yesterday and now she says 1 year. Hopefully that number will keep growing.

How's her Faith?
Not very strong but neither was mine before a few months ago. I've recently started getting her to come to church with me so I am hopeful. She was raised in the Orthodox Church so she has a foundation to work with. She is also very resistant to the modern world with the LGBT craziness and BLM riots. She wants to put our kids in a Christian school just to avoid what they will be taught in public school, so it's a good start.
 

Joe316

Robin
I know you mean well but this is needlessly pessimistic. In any case Jesus Christ will always be my Plan A and I'm not worried about this.

It's a legitimate concern. Did she use hormonal contraception?

I know most women think they have to go back to work after only 2 or 3 months!

That's abandonment.

Unfortunately that's the norm in the modern West.

It's not the norm. I'm in the degenerate West and one parent can stay home for up to three years straight on paid leave. You are expected to give your child into care, when the child can walk, make his needs known with his voice, feed himself and use the toilet. If a woman wants to get rid of her infant, who is biologically fully dependent on his mother, it's her own choice.
 

gent

Pigeon
It's a legitimate concern. Did she use hormonal contraception?
Not since I met her.

It's not the norm. I'm in the degenerate West and one parent can stay home for up to three years straight on paid leave. You are expected to give your child into care, when the child can walk, make his needs known with his voice, feed himself and use the toilet. If a woman wants to get rid of her infant, who is biologically fully dependent on his mother, it's her own choice.
In America paid leave is only like 2 months.
 

Joe316

Robin
Not very strong but neither was mine before a few months ago. I've recently started getting her to come to church with me so I am hopeful. She was raised in the Orthodox Church so she has a foundation to work with. She is also very resistant to the modern world with the LGBT craziness and BLM riots. She wants to put our kids in a Christian school just to avoid what they will be taught in public school, so it's a good start.

So that upbringing (including being "based") is purely cultural and going to change for the worse over time. As it happens every time someone brings over a wife to America. Putting her child into school is many years away anyway.

In America paid leave is only like 2 months.

That's great, it makes the wife fully dependent on her husband. So you have a wife who doesn't trust you and doesn't feel safe economically. (Or has different plans which don't include you.) That's something you have to work on ASAP. That primarily means working on yourself, not on her.
 

Augustus_Principe

Woodpecker
This is great advice and what I have been trying to do. She confessed to me that she thinks less of moms who "just" stay at home. She is basing her self-esteem on the standards of a man who needs to make money for his family.

Unfortunately, that’s a very common opinion among women who grow up in former soviet bloc countries. I’m sure other guys who have dated/married Slavic women can attest to this.

The good news for you is that she only believes this because A) it’s remnant Commie propaganda, B) she has probably seen bad examples of stay at home moms in her home country and the west (in this regard, I don’t blame her much as most women, working or not are bad moms) and C) she doesn’t quite grasp that it is a honorable action to take to quit your useless job and to take care of your child.

Try and realize that she was raised believing all her life that she could “do it all”. Obviously this isn’t true because all former Soviet bloc kids grow up in daycare and have behavior issues, aka they don’t smile, are serious, have daddy issues, depressed and are dying to imitate “The West”

You’re going to have to take a multi pronged approach to this and come at it from ALL angles. Hit the points people have mentioned here. But especially make the case of Globohomo in schools (Catholic/religious schools aren’t too far behind with the secular teachers), glorify the “stay at home mom”. Make it known that “staying at home” doesn’t mean she’s going to just sit around and watch Netflix. She’s going to have to WORK and be the child’s first and most important teacher in his or her life. Your wife can teach the child everything from abc’s, numbers, life lessons, home making if she’s female, take her to the park, non homo museums, etc etc. try to stress that staying at home is very fulfilling, much more than working for another man who only cares about profit.

keep hammering these points and eventually she will come around. Most importantly, make her see the light (Christ) and God will assure you she will come around. Remember, women are less logical and more about what the crowd is doing and her surroundings. If she is around tradition (church), practicing traditional values (praying at home), she will change.

God bless, gent. May your wife open her Eyes to the reality of things.
 

KantPost

Sparrow
abandoning babies in daycares would explain much of the narcissistic culture in the west today. credible research shows the deleterious effects on the child's development and the insidiousness of it does not show until later in life: depression, inability to manage anxiety, difficulty maintaining relationships, and so on.
studying cortisol levels in the baby's body, researchers have clearly demonstrated that the baby is basically bathed in cortisol the duration of the time he's separated from his mother. this only returns to normal when he is returned to his mother. this permanently damages the brain development of the child
if a woman is not sacrificing her child on the abortion altar for the maintenance of her pleasure, convenience, material gain and vanity at the workplace, she is torturing and twisting it in the daycare chambers, more or less hobbling it psychologically for the rest of its life
modernity is hell.
 
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