Deleted Facebook

Luna Novem

Woodpecker
Woman
I did it, y'all. I've done it before... I was off for a good year and a half-ish, but I got back on about a year and a half ago. I've toyed with re-deleting, but some clear signs were pointing to "it's time", and some of the encouragement from people here helped. It's done and it feels great.
 

FrancisK

Kingfisher
Gold Member
Good for you, it’s nothing but narcissism attention whoring and/or a dating profile.....you’re much better off living in the real world rather than living in other peoples fake worlds.

I haven’t had a facebook since it was only for people in your same college. I’m happy to tell people I have no social media when they ask for my profile, easily weeds them out.
 

Kitty Tantrum

Woodpecker
Woman
Congratulations!

I want to hate Facebook more than I do, but these days I actually manage to make it work fairly well for what I need it for, which is keeping up with a very small handful of people who used to be upset with me because they can't call or text me, because I refuse to have a phone.

Now they get bombarded by my dissident memes and unhinged conspiracy theories all day. :cool:

(Actually, I do have one now, because my husband wouldn't take no for an answer. But only a few immediate family members have the number - everyone else gets told I don't have a phone.)
 

muhtea

Robin
Woman
I think if someone can't be bothered to write or email, they probably aren't actually that invested in the relationship. Most people probably waste more time scrolling than it takes to write a few quick letters or emails.

That said, I'm trying to write letters more but hardly have anyone to write to anymore! That doesn't mean I miss anyone's boring Facebook updates though lol.
 

Luna Novem

Woodpecker
Woman
Congratulations!

I want to hate Facebook more than I do, but these days I actually manage to make it work fairly well for what I need it for, which is keeping up with a very small handful of people who used to be upset with me because they can't call or text me, because I refuse to have a phone.

Now they get bombarded by my dissident memes and unhinged conspiracy theories all day. :cool:

(Actually, I do have one now, because my husband wouldn't take no for an answer. But only a few immediate family members have the number - everyone else gets told I don't have a phone.)
Did you not have a phone at all? Or just not a smartphone?
 

PUA_Rachacha

Woodpecker
I can't for the life of me understand the appeal of Facebook. Can somebody clarify?

I remember creating an account in 2010. Within a few days I was inundated with tons of requests, mainly from old high school classmates who had married, got knocked up, had a family, and hit the wall real quick (ugly mom/dad bod). My entire stream was filled with stupid ass posts of somebody's kid, somebody bbqing, somebody climbing an easy mountain, etc. And if I dare posted something that wasn't directly about family/hiking/food, I was attacked by somebody.

I deleted my account a few months later after realizing how vapid the entire exercise was. If you really wanted to see these people and find out what's going on with them, wouldn't you reach out directly and meet up? I get that family is sometimes far apart, but then on the other hand I don't want to see photos that my sister uploads everyday with my nephews in them. That's why I call her every couple of weeks at the latest.

The platform is ultimately a huge ego stroke to most of the individuals, and their addiction to the attention-whoring made me queasy.

When I was single back then, it didn't throw up any red flags that I didn't have a Facebook account. And if it did I wouldn't have cared.

Again, what am I missing? Facebook classifieds to find good used items? I can do that w/o an account.
 

Luna Novem

Woodpecker
Woman
I can't for the life of me understand the appeal of Facebook. Can somebody clarify?

I remember creating an account in 2010. Within a few days I was inundated with tons of requests, mainly from old high school classmates who had married, got knocked up, had a family, and hit the wall real quick (ugly mom/dad bod). My entire stream was filled with stupid ass posts of somebody's kid, somebody bbqing, somebody climbing an easy mountain, etc. And if I dare posted something that wasn't directly about family/hiking/food, I was attacked by somebody.

I deleted my account a few months later after realizing how vapid the entire exercise was. If you really wanted to see these people and find out what's going on with them, wouldn't you reach out directly and meet up? I get that family is sometimes far apart, but then on the other hand I don't want to see photos that my sister uploads everyday with my nephews in them. That's why I call her every couple of weeks at the latest.

The platform is ultimately a huge ego stroke to most of the individuals, and their addiction to the attention-whoring made me queasy.

When I was single back then, it didn't throw up any red flags that I didn't have a Facebook account. And if it did I wouldn't have cared.

Again, what am I missing? Facebook classifieds to find good used items? I can do that w/o an account.
In theory, I feel exactly as you do. I've always referred to Facebook as keeping friendships "on life support". If you haven't seen Johnny Johnson in 15 years, albeit for Facebook, the friendship was dead, and you're keeping it on life support.

In practice, though? It definitely is hard to feel as though one is simply cutting those relationships off. I moved 300 miles away three years ago. By deleting my Facebook, I will almost certainly never communicate again with several ladies whom I've known since 2001. I'm not going to lie and say I'll call them, or I'll text them. I won't. Life gets busy. I won't call them and they won't call me; and there's a grieving process that comes with that. One has to realize that Facebook has become more detrimental to one's life than that process of grief will be.
 

stugatz

Pelican
I can't for the life of me understand the appeal of Facebook. Can somebody clarify?

Again, what am I missing? Facebook classifieds to find good used items? I can do that w/o an account.
"I want to keep in touch with family and friends!" is usually the most common reason - but I've pointed out to people that if you aren't regularly having lengthy conversations with people offline, then they're probably not your friends. People who want to feel like they're more popular than they are usually fall for this. (Enough of these people are boomer generation, too, who have forgotten that there was a time before Facebook existed - like most of their lives? - and they got along just fine without it.)

I'd actually suggest having a burner account on Facebook with a fake name and maybe a cartoon character as a picture - there are some nice hobbyist discussion forums on there, and Facebook marketplace has its ups. Just don't have an actual account with your real name and picture.
 

muhtea

Robin
Woman
I've always referred to Facebook as keeping friendships "on life support".
That's exactly what it is! So to the rest of your comment, taking people off life support is of course sad, but kind of inevitable. I mean I don't know, last time I was on there I had some chats with an old high school friend and that was nice, but ultimately we really don't have much in common besides having been temporarily institutionalized the same government indoctrination camp so... We exchanged phone numbers/email before I deleted and I told her if on her travels (which she does sometimes) to let me know if she's in my area and we can meet up. Maybe I'll see her, maybe I won't.
 

TexasJenn

Woodpecker
Woman
I can't for the life of me understand the appeal of Facebook. Can somebody clarify?
I've never thought the pros outweighed the cons.

I got on it in the first place for work purposes, and all things considered it was a smart move career-wise at the time. I then stayed for a while mostly due to peer pressure. There was a period of time when it seemed like every social event large and small was organized through Facebook. A lot of people didn't bother to promote their get-together outside Facebook, so if you weren't on it, you didn't even know it was going on. And then there are old far-flung friends and family who post all their family photos only on Facebook, so that's the only way to see them.

Personally, I never used it as a tool for validation or as a way to meet men. I did get friend requests from tons of random dudes from high school that in retrospect were meaningless reconnections. I had one basic photo, never felt comfortable posting all my personal business on this dubious platform.

Very early on, I figured out that Zuck saw us all as data fodder for his evil plans. I read the infamous chat log from when he was 19 years old and knew everything I needed to know about Mark Zuckerberg:

Zuck: Yeah so if you ever need info about anyone at Harvard
Zuck: Just ask.
Zuck: I have over 4,000 emails, pictures, addresses, SNS

[Redacted Friend's Name]: What? How'd you manage that one?

Zuck: People just submitted it.
Zuck: I don't know why.
Zuck: They "trust me"
Zuck: Dumb f***s


Once all the privacy invasions came out into the light, I finally acted on what I'd been meaning to do for years - totally deleted my Facebook, felt a big weight off.
 

Luna Novem

Woodpecker
Woman
"I want to keep in touch with family and friends!" is usually the most common reason - but I've pointed out to people that if you aren't regularly having lengthy conversations with people offline, then they're probably not your friends. People who want to feel like they're more popular than they are usually fall for this. (Enough of these people are boomer generation, too, who have forgotten that there was a time before Facebook existed - like most of their lives? - and they got along just fine without it.)

I'd actually suggest having a burner account on Facebook with a fake name and maybe a cartoon character as a picture - there are some nice hobbyist discussion forums on there, and Facebook marketplace has its ups. Just don't have an actual account with your real name and picture.
I've considered doing something like this SOLELY to keep in touch with my South African relatives (dad's side). They're good people. My American Mom's side are almost 100% leftists.
 

Luna Novem

Woodpecker
Woman
@TexasJenn Yeah, I was already married when Facebook came out, so I never used it in ways younger people might have.

I actually really disliked Facebook in its earlier days, because you know what I did like? Myspace. Yeah that's right, I'll say that unashamedly. :) But everyone migrated to Facebook, so Myspace became pointless.
 

Kitty Tantrum

Woodpecker
Woman
Did you not have a phone at all? Or just not a smartphone?
Well, I have an old iPhone SE my husband gave me because he didn't like that he couldn't call me when he needs to if he's not close by (or that I can't call him if I need to). But it only rings when his number calls. Otherwise it basically sits in my wallet until it runs out of batteries, unless I need to call my husband and remind him to come home for lunch! Oh, and sometimes I use it as a calculator or to check the weather. And as an mp3 player. But the touchscreen is so bad I almost feel like it doesn't qualify as a smartphone. :squintlol:

Then I have a google voice number that I use for things online that require a phone number to sign up/order.

And that's it.

I've hated phones of all varieties since I was teeny tiny. It was kind of cool to have a cell phone when I was a teenager to be able to coordinate with friends on the go, or call someone if I ended up needing a ride... but by the time I was an adult, it felt like having a phone (especially a cell phone, ESPECIALLY a smartphone) that people can actually call or text me on was some kind of resignation to never having peace in my life again. I let myself be swayed by the "BUT YOU HAVE TO HAVE ONE" sentiment for a long time, but a few years ago I just canceled my phone service and told everyone who matters "You know where I live."

The office admin lady/bookkeeper at my last job, she adored me but was probably the most miffed out of anyone, when I asked her to update the phone list to reflect that I no longer have a contact number.

"You need to have a phone number."

"Sooo you guys gonna fire me if I don't? :blush:"

*grumble grumble erases phone number and prints new list with blank space instead*

:laughter:
 

Luna Novem

Woodpecker
Woman
@Kitty Tantrum What about landlines? Did you hate them as well? I'm very curious, lol. I myself am a smartphone hater and always have been, but that's a deep moral conviction I have; a belief that to carry the internet around with me everywhere I go is detrimental to my mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. I don't mind phones themselves. I did balk at getting a cell phone for the first time; I definitely got mine later than most, but that's because back then, I could still use a landline most places I went (my church had a landline for parishioners' use at a corner desk, for example.)
 

Kitty Tantrum

Woodpecker
Woman
@Kitty Tantrum What about landlines? Did you hate them as well?
Oh yes, I hate them too. I have never had my own landline in my entire adult life.

Those things don't even stop working when the power is out for days, it's creepy and it's wrong and I hate it.

I remember from when I was a kid, the power would go out at my dad's house, and everything would be SO quiet and SO still, and I would just be basking in the silence of the lights not buzzing and the fridge not humming, etc...

AND THEN THE PHONE WOULD RING.

Ugh.
 

kel

Ostrich
I've been slowly getting rid of information on there, deleting pictures, etc. and replacing it with disinfo (random "candid" photos I found online, location and birthday info for someone else with my name, etc.). Of course everything is persisted in their databases, but still having the most recent profile on "me" being full of nonsense adds a bit of opsec.
 

Leeloo

Woodpecker
Woman
Nowadays, I use it solely to network with a single volunteer group I’m in, and once in awhile to sell some items on Marketplace. I’ve definitely deleted the app and suspended my account for periods of time and not missed it one but.

I’m thinking of finding someone in my volunteer organization with whom I can share info through as a proxy, so I won’t be bothered with the...... Facebookness-ish of it all.
 

Leeloo

Woodpecker
Woman
I did it, y'all. I've done it before... I was off for a good year and a half-ish, but I got back on about a year and a half ago. I've toyed with re-deleting, but some clear signs were pointing to "it's time", and some of the encouragement from people here helped. It's done and it feels great.

I’m proud of you! That is a great step, and probably feels very freeing. I’m right behind you!

People keep asking me if I’d shun Facebook and then go join one of the ‘conservative’ social networks, but I don’t see the point. What’s the use of replacing one evil with another?
 

Luna Novem

Woodpecker
Woman
I’m proud of you! That is a great step, and probably feels very freeing. I’m right behind you!

People keep asking me if I’d shun Facebook and then go join one of the ‘conservative’ social networks, but I don’t see the point. What’s the use of replacing one evil with another?
Yeah I mean I'm on Gab, but I don't really use it. I'm on it under an alias, and no one I know IRL is there (that I know of). I checked out Parler and had my eyes almost immediately assaulted by pornography. Was NOT impressed and have never gone back. Either way, with any of those sites, it's not the same. There is, in all honesty, no "replacement" for Facebook, in the sense that you can find almost everyone you know. You can surely join Gab for fun but it won't be like your housing development or local businesses or aunts and cousins have their own Gab page.
 
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