Did I fall for a "tease"?

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Knights1776

Pigeon
Suspension
For months a woman has been giving ALL the signs and signals. For professional reasons, I abstained. Other people started noticing what was going on. Every sign there is out there that a woman likes you, she was doing it.

Her eye contact finally got too intense so I went for it. She said she had stuff to do but if she got home early she would text me, no text.

I went for it a second time, asked her if she wanted to meet me somewhere or just come to my house and have some drinks. She said she has some stuff to do and then was gonna be busy working, said maybe next weekend we can hang out. I told her I wanted a "Hell Yes" or a "Hell No", she said "neither"?????! wtf. Both times I asked her in person, she didn't seem disgusted or shocked like women who would never want anything to do with you, just seemed nervous during the interaction.

In the past, I know a @#$% tease when I see one. This woman's signs seemed genuine, to the point that it seemed she was going overboard. Also, her behavior was only towards me and she had been doing it for months.

I'm in my mid 30's and this situation has never happened to me. Some girls say yes, some girlsI say no, some girls will give you their number and then ghost but this experience has been flat out confusing and different. I asked my colleagues, even the most experienced ones, and they said my situation was weird and they had never seen it before.

In my mind this isn't even about the girl anymore, she's cute but I've dated cuter. I'm not the type of person that goes for it just because a woman looks in my direction or talks to me for 5 minutes so it's not like I jumped the gun. I'm just so lost trying to make sense of the situation.

What say you guys?
 
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RedLagoon

RedLagoon

Pelican
Orthodox Inquirer
Is this David Lynch starting a thread? I have no idea what you're on about but it's gotten me intrigued but a little uneasy at the same time.
 
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Knights1776

Pigeon
Chiosboy90 said:
She just wants to have a flirt at work for the giggles and attention that you clearly provide her. You should avoid her and find a women in church. Also this kind of threads are not allowed anymore.
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I was considering this girl for more than a "hookup" if that's why you think my thread is not allowed. I've seen plenty of threads on here recently with heavier sexual/degenerate emphasis.

As far as attention goes, I never compliment her or chase her around. I had never given her any validation what so ever until the point where I asked her out. Up until I asked her out, I had never given her any hints that I like her. She's the one that's always chasing me and my approval, sometimes even makes time to work together alone on easy stuff that she can do completely on her own.

But you may be right, all she wants is a flirt at work and I misinterpreted her treatment for months. The purpose of my thread was to see if anyone had encountered a similar situation or how guys on here would interpret what she's doing. I'm not looking for tips and suggestions on how to get into her pants or what to say to her next. I already told her that I wasn't going to push any further and I was leaving it at that. She still didn't say yes or no lol
 
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Steady Hands

Steady Hands

Robin
Other Christian
Gold Member
First FYI this isn't a secular dating site anymore. There is no mention of context such as a church community or your longer-term goals, and for those reasons and more, this thread will likely be locked soon.

Second, it seems that you are not really listening to what Chiosboy90 said so concisely. Never ever forget that for many women their end game is attention. This concept may take a while to truly sink in, however once it does, so much of their unusual behaviour will make sense once you realise how many of them live for validation and attention. Just like a rich dad's kid junkie lives for easy hit after easy hit, the modern female cannot resist the lure of such a dopamine feast - a delicious rush of exciting feelings that she will never give up unless controlled by a greater force.

Most men find it hard to accept or understand this driving force of motivation, and that it has been yeilded by modern tech companies for profits and power. At risk, is our entire culture and set of values. Already on the decline for years, and since the advent of internet on mobile phones, the pace has picked up incredible steam towards making Christian principles, the underpinning of our modern civilisation, a relic of old 'bigoted' times. In fact, in many places, simply belonging to a church will get you fired (Search 'Essendon CEO Christian fired' if you're interested). Once you get older and inevitably more conservative, assuming you are a man with the power and interest in both self-reflection and critical thinking, you may look upon the whole obsession with 'living online' and its associated attention-whoring and hookup culture with utter, unmovable disgust.

Last, while her behaviour sounds quite manipulative, your confusion about the situation even after multiple rejections along with your resistance against the advice above, suggests that you are overwhelmed by your desires and a little on the young, naïve side. Put another way, your behaviour and focus seems needy and lacking in life experience. I would guess you are under 30. That is OK. At least you're asking the questions. Perhaps you could take some time to re-direct that energy into more meaningful and sustainable goals such as a life purpose, career, exercise, hobbies, mentorship, brotherhood, church involvement etc. Short-term, this may be hard. Long-term, it will be worth it.

All the best, and good on you for reading this far,
 
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Knights1776

Pigeon
Steady Hands said:
Last, while her behaviour sounds quite manipulative, your confusion about the situation even after multiple rejections along with your resistance against the advice above, suggests that you are overwhelmed by your desires and a little on the young, naïve side. Put another way, your behaviour and focus seems needy and lacking in life experience. I would guess you are under 30. That is OK. At least you're asking the questions. Perhaps you could take some time to re-direct that energy into more meaningful and sustainable goals such as a life purpose, career, exercise, hobbies, mentorship, brotherhood, church involvement etc. Short-term, this may be hard. Long-term, it will be worth it.
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You're absolutely right, I will consider her "neither" and her "maybes" as rejections. I'm used to women saying "I have a boyfriend" or "I'm already seeing someone" or they'll take your number and ghost you.

I wasn't ignoring what Chiosboy90 said. There was just some details I thought were important, that I had left out. Up until the last time I asked her out, I had never complimented her or gave her any validation what so ever. It was the opposite, she was always complimenting me and paying attention to the smallest of details about myself, going out of her way to talk to me, wanting to do tasks for me, asking me details about my life, getting really detailed about her life, never mentioned other men to me when speaking about her outside life, changed her tone of voice when speaking to me. All things I mis interpreted. I was wrong and you guys are right.

Also, women who don't see you as a man or that have friendzoned you will bring up men they're sleeping with/ seeing/ texting and she never did this to me, quite the opposite "I've been single since 201_" "I haven't been out on dates in a long time", "I have a boring life outside of work" etc.

My apologies for posting this on here but I'm glad I did. Your post has answered my question. The part in bold on your post lit a lightbulb in my head, thank you for that sir.
 
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