Divorce

DelMarMisty

Woodpecker
Woman
Orthodox
My husband is on his way to get the vaccine. My heart is breaking and I feel totally confused. Please help me with prayers to cope with this. This marriage is deteriorating by the day, I do not think I can go through with having a child. We live in different worlds. Lord Have Mercy.
 

Ah_Tibor

Kingfisher
Woman
Orthodox
My husband is on his way to get the vaccine. My heart is breaking and I feel totally confused. Please help me with prayers to cope with this. This marriage is deteriorating by the day, I do not think I can go through with having a child. We live in different worlds. Lord Have Mercy.

Try not to isolate yourself from friends/family.

I hope everything works out for the best, regardless of outcome!
 

JohnKreese

Pelican
Father Mike had a great homily last week discussing the importance of keeping promises and how marriage vows are essentially stating that "I won't leave you even when times come (almost implying that they WILL come) when I will want to."


Starts at about 8:30 (or you can listen to the Gospel starting at 7:10 as well Mark 10:2-10:12)

The Pharisees approached Jesus and asked,
"Is it lawful for a husband to divorce his wife?"
They were testing him.
He said to them in reply, "What did Moses command you?"
They replied,
"Moses permitted a husband to write a bill of divorce
and dismiss her."
But Jesus told them,
"Because of the hardness of your hearts
he wrote you this commandment.
But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female.
For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother
and be joined to his wife,
and the two shall become one flesh.
So they are no longer two but one flesh.
Therefore what God has joined together,
no human being must separate."
In the house the disciples again questioned Jesus about this.
He said to them,
"Whoever divorces his wife and marries another
commits adultery against her;
and if she divorces her husband and marries another,
she commits adultery."

Just listen to Father Mike, though; he is much better at discussing the topic and the true meaning and importance of the sacrament.
 

Leeloo

Woodpecker
Woman
I am also sorry to hear of your divided feelings. However the things you mention are extraneous and worldly. Do you still care for each other as people? Take a moment and reflect that current political divides such as vaccines are earthly pursuits and in God’s eyes have nothing to do with your vows. In the big picture, are any of those things going to matter to your eternal soul? People are placing a lot of emphasis on this tests of our body and personality, but none of it is about our souls in the long run.

Do your best, my sister. I’m sure you have thought of all this. But think well. I’m not in your shoes. I deeply care for my husband, even though we might always not be of the same mind. Divorce is so last-resort, especially if you share children. Life is not about our comfort and happiness in this life, even in decisions made for our children, but our souls being clear to go into the next.
I hope you find peace. But the current state of politics and attitudes cannot guide your marriage in front of God. All things are a test.
 

Leeloo

Woodpecker
Woman
I'm sorry you are going through this. As much as you think you want to escape, divorce is painful too. It sounds like you know that it would be a struggle. I once heard that the goal of marriage is to get your spouse to heaven. I'm not sure if that's sound in orthodox theology, but it is a nice sentiment. Even if your marriage didn't start off with this goal, it's not too late to make this the goal. I can't imagine how stressful it must be living in Australia right now, especially for you being red-pilled. But if at all possible try to date your husband again. Find shared interests. Do something new or fun together. Maybe you just have to reconnect, relax, and refocus. Like others have noted, no matter the church you got married in, God recognizes you as married. God even recognizes secular marriages. I love the suggestion of trying to get your marriage blessed. You and your husband should be working together for salvation, but even if he was an atheist, the church fathers say that it would be possible for him to get to heaven through your prayers.

Also I've noticed the tone of your recent posts are focused on all the negatives in the world right now, which is understandable. I, too, have been struggling with thinking too much about the negatives lately. @DanielH had to remind me the other day that it isn't Christian to despair or be anxious. He reminded me that those thoughts are coming from the devil. Maybe find a few bible verses to counter your negative thoughts and try to memorize them.

What I'm trying to get at is that the devil is trying to run your life and take away all the peace and joy that God can provide. Take everything to God with prayer and supplication. I'm praying for you. God bless you and your husband!
The Devil is in the news and social media . Most can unplug and find their mental state improves substantially! I hope OP is not in this state, but if so can be changed by focusing on the real, physical, day to day and not the turmoil that the false online world gives us.
 

Leeloo

Woodpecker
Woman
I'm sorry you are going through this. As much as you think you want to escape, divorce is painful too. It sounds like you know that it would be a struggle. I once heard that the goal of marriage is to get your spouse to heaven. I'm not sure if that's sound in orthodox theology, but it is a nice sentiment. Even if your marriage didn't start off with this goal, it's not too late to make this the goal. I can't imagine how stressful it must be living in Australia right now, especially for you being red-pilled. But if at all possible try to date your husband again. Find shared interests. Do something new or fun together. Maybe you just have to reconnect, relax, and refocus. Like others have noted, no matter the church you got married in, God recognizes you as married. God even recognizes secular marriages. I love the suggestion of trying to get your marriage blessed. You and your husband should be working together for salvation, but even if he was an atheist, the church fathers say that it would be possible for him to get to heaven through your prayers.

Also I've noticed the tone of your recent posts are focused on all the negatives in the world right now, which is understandable. I, too, have been struggling with thinking too much about the negatives lately. @DanielH had to remind me the other day that it isn't Christian to despair or be anxious. He reminded me that those thoughts are coming from the devil. Maybe find a few bible verses to counter your negative thoughts and try to memorize them.

What I'm trying to get at is that the devil is trying to run your life and take away all the peace and joy that God can provide. Take everything to God with prayer and supplication. I'm praying for you. God bless you and your husband!
I don’t mean to hijack this thread, but I’ve been intending to post this ‘shout out’ for some time and I hope this is an appropriate place to do so…

Let me just take a moment to give praise to this forum’s favorite and only power couple @DanielH and @Mrs.DanielH !!!! I love that you two are both on here publicly as perhaps the forum’s most visible, and hopefully, first of many husband-wife members, and setting a great example. It’s great to see you two as a team and providing insight on various topics from both male-female points of view, and also to see your individual opinions and insights regularly. Cheers to you and to being hopefully the first of more pairs to serve as role models and provide a unique perspective!!
 

Ah_Tibor

Kingfisher
Woman
Orthodox
Try to think of things from his perspective, though-- he probably thinks he's being responsible, a good provider, and looking to the future.

My husband says "only men have care" a lot, which I think is a quote from The Godfather, haha (meaning men have to worry, women will always find someone else to provide for them-- which is sort of true and sort of not but I get the sentiment)

Edit: I think it's *very* hard to get out of normie mindset until something shocks you out of it. So I'm not mad at my in-laws or church people in the end, I know plenty of people who act like this because they think they're doing the right thing, and some who are doing the right thing for the wrong reasons.
 
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