Do you think a repentant man (godly/Christian) deserves or should expect a virgin who is godly/Christian for marriage?

TexasJenn

Kingfisher
Woman
Orthodox
I don't think anybody "deserves" much of anything. But if anyone is well-suited to a virgin wife, it's a young Godly man who has also refrained from fornicating. Like attracts like. I think a reformed fornicator is probably best matched with someone in a similar boat. We all naturally get along best with people who have been through similar experiences in life. In short, my personal thought is that the purest women are best-matched with the purest men.
 

EndlessGravity

 
Banned
Protestant
Deserves and expects are strong words. However, yes.

I can't understand men who accept women with any past sexual partners, so I can only see this through a narrow lens but the strongest family is built on a woman's loyalty to a man. A woman who's slept around doesn't just have a lower chance of loyalty...her love within the marriage is different, from my observation. That weakened love leads to children who are often more damaged.

God wants men to lead strong families. Therefore a Christian man "deserves" a virgin.
 

Vigilant

Kingfisher
Woman
Protestant
I don't think anybody "deserves" much of anything. But if anyone is well-suited to a virgin wife, it's a young Godly man who has also refrained from fornicating. Like attracts like. I think a reformed fornicator is probably best matched with someone in a similar boat. We all naturally get along best with people who have been through similar experiences in life. In short, my personal thought is that the purest women are best-matched with the purest men.
I too am leaning in this same direction.

I don't think anybody "deserves" much of anything.
On the one hand no-one deserves anything good, except hell.

On the other hand those who are not in Christ deserve what they sow, so too the Christian who is ignorant, disobedient or rebellious.

Those who are in Christ deserve blessings for obedience to His law by His grace; the Christian if sowing good, deserves blessing.
 

Vigilant

Kingfisher
Woman
Protestant
Deserves and expects are strong words. However, yes.

I can't understand men who accept women with any past sexual partners, so I can only see this through a narrow lens but the strongest family is built on a woman's loyalty to a man. A woman who's slept around doesn't just have a lower chance of loyalty...her love within the marriage is different, from my observation. That weakened love leads to children who are often more damaged.

God wants men to lead strong families. Therefore a Christian man "deserves" a virgin.
Do you see godly eugenics being part of your thinking? If yes, I agree. It is God's way to keep strong families.
 

Blade Runner

Hummingbird
Orthodox
I have no problem with Roosh being "right" about this idea (the OP's question) but I have always considered it deterministic and fatalistic, beyond the fact that I know of (and many others do too) many stories where no such magical cockblocking (forgive me) occurred, like it does with women and migrants to the west that is just unfathomable in terms of anti - age gaps.

I make no claim that anyone deserves anything, as others have pointed out. I am not against anyone who can make it work and hopefully as with his conversation with Fr. Spyridon, there is a recognition of contrition and possibility with women who had a past. The problem remains biological, though, if you want to have a family and beyond that harmonious relationship, especially in this era. What's more, the biological is tied to the incentive laden structure of humans, namely that to be fruitful and multiply a woman has to be on some level young and fertile and a man has to have the corresponding attractiveness to her, resources and wisdom and/or charism and connection socially (with some looks to boot, sure). The culture is too poor and there is too much convergence, sadly, with women "being contrite" based on being aged out of their attractive qualities. Or, they are just sadly not good looking and/or overweight, so it was always a challenge.

I'm all for men and women deciding they want a partner, but without kids and in this age, if you don't even have the kids holding you together, I can see men deciding not to share resources with someone who doesn't do all that much beyond just accompanying and spending said resources (the idea has been ingrained that cooking and cleaning for a man is denigrating or some such thing). As such, again, there will be some (most?) men that ask, "What's actually in it for me"?
 

Christopher J

 
Banned
I don't think anybody "deserves" much of anything. But if anyone is well-suited to a virgin wife, it's a young Godly man who has also refrained from fornicating. Like attracts like. I think a reformed fornicator is probably best matched with someone in a similar boat. We all naturally get along best with people who have been through similar experiences in life. In short, my personal thought is that the purest women are best-matched with the purest men.
This is supposing men and women are the same. While both men and women should avoid sexual immorality, the loss of purity for a female makes makes marriage much more difficult.
 

Ah_Tibor

Pelican
Woman
Orthodox
I was hit on by a lot of older men when I was younger--sometimes in religious settings-- but I don't think I've ever looked back and thought "wow I should have married that guy when I was 18, my life would have been better."
 

Vigilant

Kingfisher
Woman
Protestant
I have no problem with Roosh being "right" about this idea (the OP's question) but I have always considered it deterministic and fatalistic, beyond the fact that I know of (and many others do too) many stories where no such magical cockblocking (forgive me) occurred, like it does with women and migrants to the west that is just unfathomable in terms of anti - age gaps.

I make no claim that anyone deserves anything, as others have pointed out. I am not against anyone who can make it work and hopefully as with his conversation with Fr. Spyridon, there is a recognition of contrition and possibility with women who had a past. The problem remains biological, though, if you want to have a family and beyond that harmonious relationship, especially in this era. What's more, the biological is tied to the incentive laden structure of humans, namely that to be fruitful and multiply a woman has to be on some level young and fertile and a man has to have the corresponding attractiveness to her, resources and wisdom and/or charism and connection socially (with some looks to boot, sure). The culture is too poor and there is too much convergence, sadly, with women "being contrite" based on being aged out of their attractive qualities. Or, they are just sadly not good looking and/or overweight, so it was always a challenge.

I'm all for men and women deciding they want a partner, but without kids and in this age, if you don't even have the kids holding you together, I can see men deciding not to share resources with someone who doesn't do all that much beyond just accompanying and spending said resources (the idea has been ingrained that cooking and cleaning for a man is denigrating or some such thing). As such, again, there will be some (most?) men that ask, "What's actually in it for me"?
Being English, I would need your comment simplified for me to understand it properly, as American culture is sometimes not easy for me to grasp, and I would dearly live to engage.
 

Vigilant

Kingfisher
Woman
Protestant
I was hit on by a lot of older men when I was younger--sometimes in religious settings-- but I don't think I've ever looked back and thought "wow I should have married that guy when I was 18, my life would have been better."
Delete
 

TexasJenn

Kingfisher
Woman
Orthodox
This is supposing men and women are the same. While both men and women should avoid sexual immorality, the loss of purity for a female makes makes marriage much more difficult.
I can't say I agree. Many a marriage is destroyed by men's lust and adultery. There's an epidemic of divorce due to men's porn addiction alone, not even getting into outright adultery.

Personally, as a woman with old-school values, I've found I have little in common with promiscuous or otherwise sexually immoral men. It's extremely rare that a man ever truly recovers from this lifestyle.
 

Christopher J

 
Banned
It's extremely rare that a man ever truly recovers from this lifestyle.
I agree that it's rare. But I also am not sure a virgin male is any sort of sure bet to remain faithful. Certainly this is a complex conversation but to the OP I would say my general idea would be that the role of man is to provide and protect, and to serve God. To serve God includes being faithful to your wife. Nobody is perfect but Christ so we will all make mistakes. But to the point, absolutely any man who is prepared to accept the Biblical conditions of being a husband is worthy of a good wife, be it virgin or otherwise.
 

Vigilant

Kingfisher
Woman
Protestant
This is supposing men and women are the same. While both men and women should avoid sexual immorality, the loss of purity for a fale makes makes marriage much more difficult.
I understand that men have the ability to compartmentalize emotions better than women, and rightly so. Women, therefore are designed to bond in a way that they can easily get damaged, mentally and spiritually, including their dna probably.
 

TexasJenn

Kingfisher
Woman
Orthodox
Research suggests that promiscuity has a negative effect on physical, mental, and emotional health for both men and women. One could argue that a reformed woman is more likely to stick to her commitment to monogamy/celibacy than a man, for biological reasons.

Ultimately it's all personal choice, and of course there are cases where formerly promiscuous men couple with virgin women - but I'm pretty sure most virgin women aren't super interested in men who have had lots of sexual partners, even if they claim to be reformed.

I know that for myself, as someone with old-school values, I'd be extremely, extremely wary of a man with a colorful sexual past and always have been. I'd see it as a huge risk.
 
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Vigilant

Kingfisher
Woman
Protestant
I agree that it's rare. But I also am not sure a virgin male is any sort of sure bet to remain faithful. Certainly this is a complex conversation but to the OP I would say my general idea would be that the role of man is to provide and protect, and to serve God. To serve God includes being faithful to your wife. Nobody is perfect but Christ so we will all make mistakes. But to the point, absolutely any man who is prepared to accept the Biblical conditions of being a husband is worthy of a good wife, be it virgin or otherwise.
I appreciate your response. I would want my virgin daughter to only marry a virgin man, in Christ. There may be an exception, if it is absolutely clear from God.
 

Vigilant

Kingfisher
Woman
Protestant
Research suggests that promiscuity has a negative effect on physical, mental, and emotional health for both men and women. One could argue that a reformed women is more likely to stick to her commitment to monogamy/celibacy than a man, for biological reasons.

Ultimately it's all personal choice, and of course there are cases where formerly promiscuous men couple with virgin women - but I'm pretty sure most virgin women aren't super interested in men who have had lots of sexual partners, even if they claim to be reformed.

I know that for myself, as someone with old-school values, I'd be extremely, extremely wary of a man with a colorful sexual past and always have been. I'd see it as a huge risk.
I agree, except I am not convinced it is a personal choice, rather finding God's choice would be the challenge.
 

Vigilant

Kingfisher
Woman
Protestant
"A new study has found that women carry living DNA from all the men she has ever had a sexual relationship with.

That's right ladies; the startling discovery was made by researchers at the University of Seattle and the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Centre. The discovery was made by accident when the team was initially attempting to find out if pregnant women with a son are more susceptible to neurological diseases that men are more vulnerable to."

 

Christopher J

 
Banned
Of course the other half of the equation is would the man even want the virgin. Depending on age and experience difference, motive could be more lust than love. I'm 37, have had said colorful sexual history, and now born again devout Christian. My ex was two years younger than me and certainly not a virgin (although pure by by today's standards), and it was a great relationship but timing wasn't right. Our similar experiences gave us limitless conversation material.
Ultimately I prayed for a wife and am leaving it to God. I think dating is silly. It's best to just take care of business, ask God for a partner, and when it's right someone will come along.
 
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