Emotionally strong people don't cry.

[iknowexactly]

Read about a Zen master in Japan who said something like this about his students, "The first thing you have to teach Westerners is how to cry."

I get teary sometimes, just at some sad subtle thing, like watching an aging girl try to over up how awkward she feels appearing lonely.

i guess it takes all kinds, maybe the best soldiers/cops never cry, although I would bet you they would argue that.

I'm an artist, my emotional range is part of my ability to do things others can't do.

It's a good, provocative post, except for the CREEPY ( yes I used the C word) criticism of a girl who got absolutely heart-breaking news.

I am definitely not "jelly" of a someone who pushes his indifference as an ideal.

 

[The Beast1]

Read about a Zen master in Japan who said something like this about his students, "The first thing you have to teach Westerners is how to cry."

I get teary sometimes, just at some sad subtle thing, like watching an aging girl try to over up how awkward she feels appearing lonely.

i guess it takes all kinds, maybe the best soldiers/cops never cry, although I would bet you they would argue that.

I'm an artist, my emotional range is part of my ability to do things others can't do.

It's a good, provocative post, except for the CREEPY ( yes I used the C word) criticism of a girl who got absolutely heart-breaking news.

I am definitely not "jelly" of a someone who pushes his indifference as an ideal.

It's not indifference in the slightest. I've been around soo many different people sobbing and can certainly be empathetic to their plights.

What i'm complaining of is female histrionics that is persistent day in and day out. Friend gets breast cancer at 26, discovered it early, gets put on an advanced trial drug, has a plan of treatment that ends in December, and on top of that first month into treatment the tumor is gone. Yes gone. Hair is still around when it should have fallen out. She's overweight but slowly losing it thanks to diet, exercise, and chemo.

Yet every day it's woe is me. Girl, you know who really handled his end of life issues well? Randy Pausch. Initially the fear is understandable. I get this, but at this juncture it appears to be more inconvinence with the doctors themselves surprised it has shrunk so quickly. Good news right and enough to make someone relax and continue foreward!

I'm tired of being an emotional crutch to which i've stepped away from doing for almost 2 months now. Been a bit demonized for this in the social group but they can all step up which none of them have the balls to do. I'm not a parent or boyfriend.

Otherwise good discussion gents and thanks for the points 8)

 

[soup]

It sounds like you are tired of being the shoulder that girls cry on.

I agree- if you have a girl cry on your shoulder it means your chances of fucking her are probably nil.

They want to use you're as a tampon for their tears than as a fuck toy.

 

[The Beast1]

It sounds like you are tired of being the shoulder that girls cry on.

I agree- if you have a girl cry on your shoulder it means your chances of fucking her are probably nil.

They want to use you're as a tampon for their tears than as a fuck toy.

Yes! You got it.

We definitely banged in the past and she has long since been removed from my rotation. But a fly girl is a rare bred and we've been friends for awhile. I just hate being used like this as it is emotionally draining. I'm down to help friends but crap sometimes I need to help myself.

Appreciate the insights to my poorly typed out rant. Thanks for the help gents.

 

[civpro]

My eyes do water up when some sad shit is on TV, but I haven't legit cried in 11 years.

 

[RURALGAMER]

For the most part a bunch of crying is just a sign you have problems. Talk it out with a pro or get medicated or work on solving it yourself.

Crying in front of certain people is NOT an option in my opinion.


It took me a until this year to really cry about losing my dad. That was 4 years ago. Now, this year I would do almost anything to have a meaningful talk with him

That sounds really cold but we saw it coming for years and he deteriorated to the point that he was better off

 

[Truth Tiger]

It sounds like you are tired of being the shoulder that girls cry on.

I agree- if you have a girl cry on your shoulder it means your chances of fucking her are probably nil.

They want to use you're as a tampon for their tears than as a fuck toy.

Yes! You got it.

We definitely banged in the past and she has long since been removed from my rotation. But a fly girl is a rare bred and we've been friends for awhile. I just hate being used like this as it is emotionally draining. I'm down to help friends but crap sometimes I need to help myself.

Appreciate the insights to my poorly typed out rant. Thanks for the help gents.

There's something in her that trusts you (or feels comfortable letting go with you) more because you banged. Even if a girl plays around and pretends they don't give a shit, there's some part of them when they've felt intensely for you that always feels attached. I think it's said women have sex with men to feel emotional intimacy they really need. We can be somewhat the opposite. She wants your emotional presence but it's way more than you (or anyone) can or should deal with. But cutting off contact doesn't feel right either.

I know when I extend myself too much taking on someone else's needs I get resentful. Before getting to that point or once I was there, I needed to say 'I can't take any more right now.' But there can be the fear of making them upset, guilt-tripping you, etc. Sounds like she's getting better physically so this is about her psychological issues grating on you.

Something you can consider (which will sound woo woo but has proven to work) that won't involve you physically "doing" anything with her and can also help you heal yourself is Ho'oponono. There's a great story behind the man who brought it more into the Western awareness (Dr. Hew Len, who worked at a mental hospital for the criminally insane that ended up closing after all the patients recovered and left through Dr. Len's "cleaning"). I've done this after some rough break-ups where the emotional ties were still there and it honestly felt like it helped me understand myself and them much better. You'd be surprised at the realizations that can come up in the process because it's really about 'letting go of your data' or internal programming, taking 100% responsibility for our experiences. Feel free to PM if this is interesting and you want to talk about it.



I wish you (and her) the best.

 

[soup]

The real alpha shit is to be a man who can express whatever he is feeling without fear of repercussion.