Existentialism is the Greatest Birth Control

Came up with this theory while hanging drywall today (my greatest time of philosophical insight). I think if you somehow graphed the prevalence of existentialism in countries, there would be a high correlation with low birth rate. Yes, you can say "the pill" is the greatest birth control, but where does the desire to create "the pill" come from? It comes from a desire for extreme individualism even at the behest of God given child birth and even future civilization. "The pill", and really all downstream technology, comes from the upstream source of ideas- bad ideas are what's most important to discuss.

I have been dating intensely for a little over a year now with the express intent to start a family. The relationships are generally easy enough to start, then will typically hit some kind of "wall" around the 2-3 month mark when one person loses their sense of "new car smell" and the initial honeymoon ends. Then another wall seems to be hit around the time of actual engagement and commitment, when one of the people says "Wow, this is actually going to happen, I don't know if I can do this". Now, I worked out my existential angst in my 20's primarily by 1) surrounding myself with strong men, especially in construction and commercial fishing, who made me embarrassed to have not "figured myself out" as quickly as they had, and 2) ceaseless and relentless attack on my own cognitive dissonances- to seek and and eradicate the source of all my cognitive dissonance inside. I then worked in Christianity and philosophy to fill the voids left exposed by this process internally, thereby establishing myself as a more or less "complete" person moving forward... But what I now find in dating, is that most modern people have not worked out their existential crises by age 30, and often not even at 35 or 40 (or maybe most modern people never do?!?). It is incredibly sad to see the modern person's timeline pushed back so far into life to "figure themselves out", because as we all know: your biological clock will not wait for you to work through this mental process. And it largely appears that people didn't concern themselves with this "figuring yourself out" notion so much until existentialism came along, and the angst with it.

Thus with all modern, first world countries (from the US to Europe to China and Japan and Russia), we see birth rates down and turning into a negative feedback loop for civilizational decline. We all import immigrants from 3rd world countries, who have higher birth rates and probably don't sit around navel-gazing about existential angst too much- they worry about surviving and reproducing. This seems to have to do with other themes like Dr. Edward Dutton's K-strategy vs. R-strategy discussions, and Nietzschean declaration of the death of the Christian God and along with it the moral foundation of Western civilization. Hence- existentialism seems to be some Satanic, masturbatory siren's call towards excessive self-contemplation, leading to wasting one's prime years of reproduction, and becoming a miserable middle-aged person. And finally, this doesn't seem gender specific: I see men equally as susceptible to this phenomenon as women, with the only difference of course being that men have a biological advantage over women by being able to reproduce far longer into old age, hence more of a grace period to this navel-gazing disease of the modern condition. Existentialism as the greatest birth control. Rant over, back to hanging sheet rock.
 
Last edited:

M'bare

Woodpecker
Gold Member
My sister, who's 40 is finding this arch out the hard way. After not doing the hard work of introspection, rejecting God and not even dabbling in philosophy/virtues, etc., she finally divorced someone completely repulsive to her -- she should have known sooner, and for that NEVER wanted kids. Not only that, but she spent her youth seeking degrees and a career/material things.

Now that she finally divorced, for the first time in her life it's come into her head that she wants children, but it's nearly too late according to tests. She's an emotional wreck with this now entering her mind. It's something our forum has pointed out a million times, from Eat Pray Love chick, to Sex and the City writer and others.

"40 more years with just myself. But look, I have a nice place and a career." It's not enough for the human spirit.
 

BlueMark

Woodpecker
Gold Member
To paraphrase the old saying, don't attribute to values what can be explained by economics.

Chinese people are hardly known for existentialist contemplation, as the culture discourages it and instead encourages marriage and family to a fault. China still has birth rate issues as it develops, due to both the direct and opportunity costs of raising kids. Because either you succeeded economically (in which case you spent years of your youth going through the school / career grind, and you want to enjoy life on the high salary) or you didn't and are thus too poor to afford a kid anyway.
 
Last edited:

Augustus_Principe

Woodpecker
Yes, Existentialism is indeed demonic. I will go as far as to say the “Enlightenment” was demonic. I’ll go one more and say anything from the COOMER Luther and the philosophies that followed were demonic. Read Logos Rising by EMJ for more on this.

The thing is, people of this world are just that, of this world. They fail to contemplate of heaven and how the here and now will affect them in the afterlife. These types put pleasure over virtue, because hey, “we only live once”, unless they believe in the ever increasing Asian eastern thinking of coming back as a dog or something. These types are almost always atheist or pantheist. They’ll never “figure themselves out” because they’ve been told that happiness, a fleeting sensation in the way they understand it ie. By sinning, is the ultimate goal in life. Obviously the ride of sinning in order to be “happy” is a ride that doesn’t end until you’re out of eggs if you’re a woman, or an old loser that can’t fornicate anymore if you’re a man. True happiness is to follow God’s will, by their Pride blinds their intellect to this reality.

life is absurd unless you follow orthodox Catholic, Christian teaching.
 

nagareboshi

Woodpecker
The European Endarkening was essentially the tyrannical, Luciferian triumph of impotent rationality over God, faith, and virtue. If rationality leads you into hell then you weren't really being rational (in the ultimate, universal sense) whatsoever.
 

Coja Petrus Uscan

Hummingbird
Gold Member
But what I now find in dating, is that most modern people have not worked out their existential crises by age 30

I have spent great deal of time talking about this topic (not the OP) with a friend.

When all my friends hit 29, things started to go strange. The crux of it was that people were contemplating their future, having a third-life crisis. There was no clear trajectory - they were just an acorn bobbing up and down in the ocean. Getting old. A lot of this has to do with contemplating mortality. The modernist youth, do not consider mortality. Little reason to with their distractions and relative ease. If it suddenly dawns on you, you are 33-50% of the way to your death, things change. Grappling with these thoughts takes a toll of Peter Pans and Tinkerbells.

We also noted that some people were completely oblivious to this period, while others were going through various degrees of soul searching or torment. One had two mental breakdowns (now doing very well). The breakdowns were the necessary punishment to destroy the useless self that is built up at the alter of modernity. Of the ones who were oblivious, we slowly noted changes as their 30s crawled by. In particular one who had based his youth on being a cool weed guy. A quite good looking guy, with a sophisticated bag of cool, illusory tricks that had some people in minor-awe of him. When you suddenly loose your youth, you can no longer be a cool weed guy. He went from being quite chirpy to looking like a low-rent drug addict in about a year. He now avoids all his childhood friends and hangs about with reprobates and his fornication dispenser. I have seen the same happen to women who base their image of themselves on being able to have a queue of men waiting to have sex with them. When the queue shrinks to oddballs, these women rapidly decline. In the satanic illusion, worldly trappings keep you fluffed up. When you loose them, you collapse. By worshiping themselves in their youth, distracted by from everything from stardom to masturbatory pride, you are truly sunk and lost once you loose your youth. A bit of sex and drugs flizzing in your nogging to give you artificial highs are the material trap, before dumping you into the pre-hell of soulless, depressed proto-adulthood.

These are the ones who completely ignored any pang of introspection, philosophy, divinity and continued plucking the low-hanging fruit on the short-term, the material, the superficial.

One by one we watched as these adult-children who seemed to have not a care in the world and did not have the 29+ crisis, sunk. The ones who grappled with the crisis at about 29 were the ones to come through in various degrees. There is one who has still put it off. His entire world is sculpted by him holding everything in his periphery in a position that is comfortable to him. Most of what he does is some sort of proxy to keep himself in the dark as to who he really is and his position in the world. He has a self-narrative that his is some sort of urban-freewheeling, liberal. It's who he wants to be, but it is an illusion that hides the rage of a deeply materialist leftist. He has been in university or just swanning about for 17 years. No concrete plan for what will happen next, with no real skills or experience. Over the last few years he has taken to lashing out at people and projecting his own issues onto others as a mechanism to not see them in himself and that his early-adulthood is both gone and squandered. Part of him is aware of that, but much of his life is spent making sure it never truly dawns on him.

@berserker2001 - You are doing well to be grappling with this earlier. Very switched on men won't deal with this at all, as this is something that should be dealt with successively through early-adulthood and not one big explosion in your 30s. Good ways of dealing with it are having achievements in any realm - family, work, spiritual. For me, I had the benefit of having terrible experiences when I was about 21 and 25 as well as real work as business. When I was 25 I was close to being destroyed, having to deal with it, on my own, in silence means I am not one of the many Nancy-boys we have today.

To relate this to the OP,

 

BlueMark

Woodpecker
Gold Member
I dunno OP, I think you're giving too much credit to the average person for ability to do existentialist introspection. Most people aren't wired like us; if we are on this forum we are likely in a very small minority. This sentiment was expressed on the old RVF years ago, before I joined.

If existentialism is a form of birth control, it's a pretty poor one as most people are immune.

I relate to some of your struggles. Honeymoon period wearing off in a relationship, feeling not having figured myself out, etc. Now I'm more at peace with it as I've let go of parts of my old identity.

If you're in the minority that has the self-awareness to realize these things, then maybe you're just not cut out for a traditional marriage and family path. That path is a blue pill of its own, most suitable for people who just want to do whatever society tells them to do, regardless of whether that is a secular or religious society.
 

BoiBoi

Pelican
I have spent great deal of time talking about this topic (not the OP) with a friend.

When all my friends hit 29, things started to go strange. The crux of it was that people were contemplating their future, having a third-life crisis. There was no clear trajectory - they were just an acorn bobbing up and down in the ocean. Getting old. A lot of this has to do with contemplating mortality. The modernist youth, do not consider mortality. Little reason to with their distractions and relative ease. If it suddenly dawns on you, you are 33-50% of the way to your death, things change. Grappling with these thoughts takes a toll of Peter Pans and Tinkerbells.

[snip]
Excellent post.

I'm in my late 30s now and had my rude awakening around that very time. Back then, I was a complete loser and oblivious to it.

Basically, I was that cool, careless weed guy you describe. Not only had I no real marketable skill, I also had no clue how to carve out my position in the world. I didn't know how to contribute anything of meaning to my community. A 30 year old man-baby doing drugs and talking about the senselessness and randomness of life using fancy 10-Dollar-words. What a delusional fool I was. Like you wrote, I was lashing out at my peers who were passing me by, a proper failure in the making. My boomer parents were unable to provide guidance because they themselves didn't have any.

Luckily, I met someone who is now one of my best friends. We were about the same age, but he had already achieved some success in life. At first, I didn't like him. However, I quickly realized that I felt intimidated by his success and secretly envied him. My fragile ego felt under attack and in good Peter-Pan-style externalized the causes to forgo a critical and painful introspection. Unbeknownst to him, he helped me realize that I was a loser and needed to fix myself quickly before the ship left the harbor permanently.

It took me about 5 years to get back on track. Here I am now, well established in my field. My parents are proud and materially, it all worked out. Spiritually, I still have a long way to go but I'm taking baby steps in the right direction. Coming from an atheist family, this isn't an easy task. I told them that I had bought the Bible the other day. They were in disbelief, taking subtle jabs at me. Once they learn that I plan to attend Mass once the churches properly reopen, I'm sure that they'll be floored.

Anyway, thanks CPU for the insightful post. It's always good to reflect and this post caused me to do so.
 

nagareboshi

Woodpecker
Excellent post.

Thanks for sharing your story man. It is so interesting how materialistic pursuits and career can drag people down, but it can also lift other people up, becoming an inspiration to get one's life together and also create spiritual change. Just wondering, how did you meet that "inspirational" friend when you were stuck in such a rut? That moment seems quite providential.
 
The anime Evangelion made existential angst cool. The writer/director was admitted in a mental asylum I believe.

Nice post OP, I was having similar concepts in my head, but your words articulated what I was thinking.

I would like to add one more thing that contributes to this crisis: the sense "purposelessness" stemming from a lack of role-model or a leader.

Years ago I came across this article by Heartiste titled Lament of the Ronin:

I was thinking about loneliness, and the loneliness that a young man feels, and I think he feels lonely in three distinct ways.
1. He feels loneliness for a woman.
2. He feels loneliness for a brotherhood.
3. He feels loneliness for a lord, which we may think of as being for god

...
The loneliness that we feel for a lord, which is the desire to follow a worthy leader.

Nearly everyone wants to follow a strong and powerful leader, though many are unaware of it.... Sartre referred to the awareness that you alone bear responsibility for your actions as 'nausea.'

If a truly great leader appeared, if a man could truly tell us the way to be, if he could preach a gospel of radiant power, most would gladly follow. But we see no leaders like that today. You would gladly be a sheep for the right shepherd, my friends. It would be so liberating.
 
My sister, who's 40 is finding this arch out the hard way. After not doing the hard work of introspection, rejecting God and not even dabbling in philosophy/virtues, etc., she finally divorced someone completely repulsive to her -- she should have known sooner, and for that NEVER wanted kids. Not only that, but she spent her youth seeking degrees and a career/material things.

Now that she finally divorced, for the first time in her life it's come into her head that she wants children, but it's nearly too late according to tests. She's an emotional wreck with this now entering her mind. It's something our forum has pointed out a million times, from Eat Pray Love chick, to Sex and the City writer and others.

"40 more years with just myself. But look, I have a nice place and a career." It's not enough for the human spirit.
My sister is 31 and thinks exactly like your sister did. How do I get her to see the truth before it is too late for her?
 

nagareboshi

Woodpecker
My sister is 31 and thinks exactly like your sister did. How do I get her to see the truth before it is too late for her?

I think you should pray for her and also speak out against her lifestyle with great bravery. Perhaps focus on secular concerns and ask questions that are easy to visualize, not abstract, e.g. "Aren't you concerned if it will be too late for you if you decide to have kids later?" Also, become yourself a successful non-loser to give your words more authority.
 

BoiBoi

Pelican
Thanks for sharing your story man. It is so interesting how materialistic pursuits and career can drag people down, but it can also lift other people up, becoming an inspiration to get one's life together and also create spiritual change. Just wondering, how did you meet that "inspirational" friend when you were stuck in such a rut? That moment seems quite providential.
It was a friend of a friend who moved into the shared flat I was living in at the time. This was great as everyday, I was confronted with his success. Not that he was broadcasting it openly, but he simply understood the real world way better than I did at the time. This made me realize that I had very little of value to offer to anyone.

Well, I was so consumed by this existential angst or whatever you want to call it, that I couldn't focus on anything else. At the same time, I didn't acknowledge the root cause (my own foolishness) and instead was angry at the world. My confidence was low and I was really considering just dropping out of society altogether. My exit plan fantasy was to become an English teacher in the Dominican Republic and drink/snort myself to death banging hookers on the way. If somebody had thrown a Bible at me back than, I'd probably have laughed to his face and told him to piss off.
 

M'bare

Woodpecker
Gold Member
My sister is 31 and thinks exactly like your sister did. How do I get her to see the truth before it is too late for her?

In the correct moment/context: Ask her if she's ever thought about what it would be like to get to a certain age, want a child a not be able to have it. Get her to explore that topic more.

Ask her if she thinks the later part of her years are still going to have the same wants and desires as in ones 30's? They usually don't.

Finally consider showing her examples of or stories of women greatly regretting waiting and living a barren life. Most of her life she's only been shown the upside to living a life child free, but there's a cost to everything. Try and balance that out for her and let her know it's only out of care and concern...out of love.

Part of trying to bring people to reason and evidence, is to unlash the bourdon on ourselves. Simply put, you do the best you can when trying to influence others. After that, you can look back and know you made the best effort you could. You can't shield people from every negative choice they make.
 
Top