New posts

Reply to thread

Message: <blockquote data-quote="The Catalyst" data-source="post: 1062943" data-attributes="member: 12034">A bit of a mild update on the OP.I have strong reason to believe it's NZ which is(mainly) the problem. Of course, I could be biased and have false hope, that in reality everywhere's the same, but I have good reasoning. I have a few foreign friends and they make similar observations to how boring and unkind NZ culture is. There's a site which details the horrors of people who've immigrated to NZ with shock at how bad it is(how expensive, low wages, boring people[anti intellectualism, no desire to achieve], near third world housing etc). Also I've watched Americans and Europeans on youtube, they seem to be interesting and I'd love to hang around them, despite my strong introversion. I would link my American friends those youtube videos, and they would say those people are nothing special. But I feel I wouldn't be bored around them while I'm very bored around Kiwis.My long term plan is to leave NZ completely. However, I'm living with my parents atm and they pay for everything right now, so I have to save up and get independent enough to leave and survive on my own.In the meantime, I have to look on the bright side and make the most of what I've got. There are two extremes which I can't realistically do long term. On one hand, I could go full introvert and only do the things *I* really want to do. However this means no one else would want to do them(Kiwis are very different to me and to "normal" people, and very boring). However humans are social creatures and I can't go longer than a week or two without going somewhat insane, despite my strong introversion. On the other hand, I've tried hanging out in bars and stuff and meetups with majority kiwi people. Often, I've tug along with acquaintances to their birthday parties/friends' birthday parties/get togethers etc. I've come to realise that I would get bored as hell quite quickly. I would keep positive because that's the socially intelligent thing to do but I certainly can't do this long term, my resentment at my boredom and the feeling that "surely these people can talk about/do more interesting things than that" would create a bad feedback loop inside my head that would create some misery.The solution which I'm trying right now is a mix. I won't bother doing everything I completely want to do, that's just way too different from everyone else. I'm decently different from people in general, and downright different from Kiwis who are boring as hell. That would just doom me to doing everything solo, when I just need that social connection. On the other hand, I won't go out of my way to break into Kiwi social circles or do what they do. I just have to do something in between, focus on something I somewhat like which Kiwis often do/somewhat like too. This often means having to be more "mainstream" in a sense or just mimicking Kiwi behavior. I'd been trying out a couple of different classes/hobbies, they didn't work as well as I planned but I'll just keep going and doing new things.</blockquote>

Verification